迈克和茉莉（2010）

Mike & Molly S05E10

Part 2 Dec. 15, 2020, 4:36 p.m.

For now.
暂时是的
Joyce tried to evict your clothes last night.
Joyce昨晚先把你的衣服赶出去了
But that wife of yours shimmied up that tree
但是你老婆爬上那颗树把你的肥内衣救下来了
and rescued your big undies like they were a stuck kite.
就像拯救卡住的风筝一样
Hey, sweetie.
嗨亲爱的
What are you doing here?
你到这儿干嘛
We just calmed her down.
我们才把她哄服帖了
What am I supposed to do?
那你说我该怎么办
I can't stay away forever.
我又不可能永远不回来
Not forever, just for a while.
没说永远就暂时别来
Come here, it'll be fun, we'll meet in secret.
很好玩的以后我们偷偷见面
Just like we're having an affair.
就像在搞外遇一样
Mol, your tea... What are you doing here?
Mol 你要的茶你到这儿干嘛
They just calmed me down.
他们才把我哄服帖了
Look, Joyce, uh... I don't, I don't want any trouble.
是这样的 Joyce 我不是来找麻烦的
Then what'd you come around here for?
那你到这儿来干嘛
Because I miss my wife.
我想我的老婆了
And I'm out of socks.
干净袜子也穿完了
There's a whole bag of 'em in the tree out front.
前面那树上可挂了一大袋子呢
I couldn't reach those. I climbed as high as I could.
我真够不着已经尽力爬到最高了
Please, can't we just move on?
拜托了我们就不能冰释前嫌吗
Look... muffins.
你看我带了松饼
Move on?!
冰释前嫌
You handcuffed me and threw me in the back
你拿手铐扣我把我推进巡警车后座
of your squad car like I was Red John.
搞得我是血手男一样
Red John?
血手男
The villain on The Mentalist!
就是<超感神探>里的那个大罪犯啊
All right, let's not overreact.
好咱也不要反应过度了
Or what? You gonna pepper spray me?
怎么着你还要拿胡椒水喷我不成
Hey... I did not pepper spray her.
我可没有拿胡椒水喷她
Let's be real clear on that.
在此特别澄清一下
I hope you're happy.
现在你高兴了吧
You've torn this family apart.
把我们家搞得四分五裂
She didn't cooperate!
是她不合作
All you had to do was answer the question:
我只要你回答一个问题
Did you drink tonight?
"你晚上有没有喝酒"
That's a pretty loaded question,
这问题别有用意啊
'cause you know she was probably loaded.
你知道她很可能是喝了酒的
I was not!
我没喝酒
That's not perjury.
这不算伪证啊
She's not under oath.
她没宣誓说要说真话的
How come everybody's assuming I was tanked?
你们凭什么就觉得我当时喝了酒呢
Come on, Mom, it was after 6:00.
拜托老妈那时候都已经过了六点了
What is that supposed to mean?
你这话是什么意思
It means we love you and accept you just the way you are...
意思是我们爱你接受真正的那个你
half in the bag and all in our hearts.
喝得半醉的你永存我心
Really?
是吗
Oh, you think I got a problem?
你们觉得我酒瘾是吧
Well, you're the ones who have problems!
要我说你们才有瘾
Victoria, pot!
Victoria 大♥麻♥
Vince, porn!
Vince 黄♥片♥
You, pie!
你派
You know, you do all have those vices.
没错你们确实都有那些问题
You, shopping.
你购物狂
Mother...!
母亲大人
I can quit drinking any time I want.
我喝酒但我说戒就戒
Can any of you say the same about your nasty habits?
你们敢对你们那些邪恶的瘾说这话吗
I could stop tomorrow.
我明天就能戒
Of course. Yeah, probably...
当然敢大概
I mean, it's not a porn problem
我那不是黄♥片♥
I watch the romantic ones, directed by ladies.
我看的是浪漫的那种女性导演拍的
You know... maybe Dudley Dipstick here
我想这位了不得的蠢蛋先生
gave us a wake-up call.
倒是给我们提了个醒
We should all clean up our acts.
大家都该戒掉不良习惯
In fact, let's start with the pot head.
那就先从这位瘾君子开始
Mom, what are you doing with my purse?
妈你拿我包干嘛
Mom, not my pot... I was saving that for church.
妈别动我的大♥麻♥ 我留着下次去教堂的时候抽的
If I'm gonna live clean, you're all gonna live clean.
要想我戒掉不良习惯你们都得一起戒
Hey, those are my chips!
喂那是我的薯片
You said Victoria bought those.
你不是说是Victoria买♥♥的么
Are we doing this now?
你确定现在要和我争这个
Wait a minute... Mom, Mom! Those are mine!
等下妈妈那是我的
And your credit cards are next!
接下来就轮到你的信♥用♥卡♥了
Mike, go get your Taser!
Mike快把你的电击枪拿来
And Vince, I know where your skin mags are.
Vince 你那些黄色杂♥志♥藏哪里了我一清二楚
You're bluffing!
你唬我呢
Try me.
你看我像么
Mom,
妈
I know you don't want to be in the same room as Mike right now,
我知道你现在不想和Mike共处一室
but he was wondering how much longer
但他很想知道
you were gonna be using the kitchen.
你还要在厨房♥里呆多久
Until I'm done with breakfast.
呆到我吃完早饭为止
Well, you just have that...
你就只剩那个
tomato left there, so you might want
番茄没吃完了要不就
to scarf that down and get on with your day.
一口吞掉然后开始新的一天得了
I'm not scarfing anything.
我从不把吃的一口吞掉
I'm gonna savor it.
我要细细品尝
You learn to appreciate the small things in life,
你要学着去品味生活中的小事
like a tomato, after you've done hard time.
比如说一个番茄特别是蹲过监狱之后
You were in a cell for 40 minutes.
你也就被关了四十分钟吧
Then that's how long I'm gonna eat
我被关了多久
this tasteless freakin' tomato.
这没味道的狗屁番茄我就要吃多久
I'm sorry.
不好意思
Come on. I'm starving.
拜托我快饿死了
Throw me an apple or a bagel, anything.
给我扔个苹果或者百吉饼随便什么都行
Aw, you threw me an apple. Shh. Just go.
你还真就扔了个苹果啊少废话快走
Mom, it's been two days.
妈都过了两天了
Are you gonna stay mad forever? No.
你打算生一辈子气啊没
Just for the next 12 months.
就生12个月的气
That's how long
我的驾照
they're taking away my driver's license.
就得在他们那里扣这么久
Because your bozo husband couldn't just wave me through.
都怪你的傻老公不挥挥手让我过
Oh, my God. 12 months?
天哪整整12个月
Wow. He, um... Yeah, I d... I didn't, uh...
他我我那个
I didn't realize that it... But we're still good, right?
我不知道要但我们之间没不愉快吧
That's a good apple.
那苹果可真够好吃的
I didn't even miss the caramel.
我一点都不怀念焦糖
What's going on?
你们在干嘛
Shh. Keep it down. Why?
嘘说话轻点怎么了
You guys throwing dice or hiding from Colonel Klink?
你们这是扔骰子还是躲着Klink上校啊
It's not fair.
这不公平
Drinkin' and smokin' behind the garage.
喝酒抽大♥麻♥还得躲到车♥库♥后面
What am I, ten?
我是十岁小屁孩吗
And you had to go take her license, too.
你还把她的驾照给缴走了
Now I got to spend the next year driving Miss Crazy.
现在可好我一整年都得接送疯癫小姐了
What was I supposed to do?
那你说我该怎么办
She broke the law.
她触犯了法律
Let's take a look at that word, law?
我们来好好研究下这个词法律
There's the letter of the law,
一个是法律的字面意思
and then there's your mother-in-law.
一个是法律上的姻亲也就是你岳母
Which one can kill you in your sleep?
哪个能趁你睡觉的时候杀了你
There's nothing I can do about it at this point.
事到如今我也无能为力了
Really?
是吗
You can't make a ticket just go away?
你就不能开张罚单了事吗
No, I cannot.
我不能
Sounds like a maybe.
听着可以
What are you saying?
你说什么
I'm saying you work hard,
我说你工作很努力
and you deserve a little relaxation.
休息一下是应该的
Say, courtside Bull tickets for this Saturday.
要不来个这周六公牛队的场边票