迈克和茉莉（2010）

Mike & Molly S05E05

Part 3 Dec. 15, 2020, 4:35 p.m.

You know what you're doing, don't you?
你知道你在干嘛吗
This is my Super Bowl guacamole all over again.
超级碗鳄梨酱事件又要重演了
I can't hear that story one more time.
我不想再听那个故事了
Well, you're gonna hear it.
你还是得听听
Because a valuable lesson was learned that horrible day.
因为从那糟糕的一天得到了宝贵的教训
Oh, when I first mixed it up, it was delicious.
哦起初啊我伴着酱它美味极了
Damn near perfect.
太他♥娘♥的♥好吃了
But I thought I could make it better, you see?
不过我想让它更棒看吧
And I added more lemon,
我多加些柠檬
and... and I added more peppers,
还还加了些胡椒
and then Vince said, "Put in salsa."
Vince说 "再加点辣味汁呗"
And then I panicked.
接着我就慌了
I put in olives.
我加了橄榄
And pickles.
咸菜啊
And something called capers.
还有什么酸豆子啊
And in the end, in the end,
到最后吧到最后
even flies wouldn't land on it.
连苍蝇都不屑落脚了
You still ate it!
你还不是吃了
That is not my point!
那个不是重点
You know what, you know what,
知道吗
there's no reason to talk about it anymore.
没什么好多说了
Wh...
什
Mike?
Mike
Mike?!
Mike
Are you still there?
你还在吗
What are you doing?
你在干么呢
Just finishing up something.
终结一些事情
Then we're gonna go make out in that closet.
然后我们再去衣橱里搞起
There. Done.
好了完了
What'd you do?
你做了什么
I did what you should have done a couple of weeks ago.
我帮你把几周前就该做的事情做了
I sent your book to your publisher.
我把书发给出版商了
You're welcome.
不用谢了
You what?
什么
Hey. Hey.
嘿嘿
I know you can't see it right now,
我知道你现在无法理解
but I just saved your guacamole.
不过我挽救了你的鳄梨酱
Oh, my God, you sent it.
哦我靠你丫居然发出去了
You actually sent it.
你丫真的发出去了
Why would you do something like that?!
你干嘛这么做呀
Oh, my God!
哦天杀的
Know what this is?!
知道这是什么吗
This. Is. Your. Face.
这是你丫的脸
Oh, come...
哦算了
Come on, Molly.
别这样 Molly
Look, I did it for your own good.
我这么做都是为了你好
No, you did it for your own good.
不你是为了你好
You just wanted your doting little wife back.
你只是想让那个溺爱你的老婆回来
"Doting"?
"溺爱"吗
Are you saying I don't take good care of you?
你是说我平时对你不好吗
Of course you do.
当然不是啦
You just don't dote.
只是还不够宠爱了啦
Why am I even talking to you?
我不想跟你说话了
Girls, let's go, we're going drinking.
姐妹儿们走起喝酒去
What's the occasion?
为什么喝酒啊
Mike sent in my book.
Mike把我的书发给出版社了
Congratulations! Oh! Hey!
恭喜噢耶
*For she's a Molly good fellow...
*Molly真是棒棒的
No, no!
别唱了
No, not in a good way.
他没经我同意就发了
But we're still going drinking, right?
但我们还是有酒喝的吧
You can't un-ring that bell.
说了就不能反悔了哦
Just like you can't un-send an e-mail.
就像稿子发了也不能撤回来了
Mol, come on, your book's great.
好了 Mol 你的书已经很棒了
Well, you have to say that, you're my husband.
你是我老公当然这么说了
I said the same thing about your crappy Super Bowl Franken-guac.
我还赞过你那恶心变♥态♥的超级碗鳄梨酱呢
If I didn't push that button,
要是我按下那个键
she would have never handed it in.
她这辈子都不会交稿的
It was the right thing to do.
我做的没错
Obviously.
当然了
Everything worked out great.
一切都很好
What do you think, Harry?
Harry 你觉得怎么样
Can you get the e-mail back?
能把那封邮件撤回来吗
That is the $6♥4♥ question.
这是个6♥4♥刀的活啊
Which actually is my hourly rate.
就是我一小时的工资
But you're a friend, so you can just take me to dinner.
但你是我朋友请吃顿饭就行了
Probably cheaper to pay him.
估计还是付钱更合算
Listen, Harry, you get this book back
Harry 你要是能在Molly的出版商看到稿子之前
before Molly's publisher reads it,
把邮件撤回来
I will chew up a prime rib and feed it to you like a baby bird.
我就把顶级牛排嚼碎了嘴对嘴喂给你
I can't believe you're already backing down.
真不敢相信你这么怂了
Hey, Mike Biggs does not back down.
喂 Mike Biggs从来不怂
He may, however, raise the white flag,
虽然他有时候认个输
so he doesn't get a black eye.
那也是为了不挨揍
You should have seen what she did to that ball.
你都没看到她是怎么捶那个球的
Well, you are a similar shape.
你俩外形还真像
Quiet, guys.
消停点哥们
I got to get past this firewall.
我得通过防火墙
Boy, this is a lot trickier than I thought.
诶这玩意比我想的难啊
Uh, Mike, hand me that hair clip.
Mike 把那个发卡给我
This guy is locked up tight.
他的防火墙还挺坚挺
Give me that!
快给我
That's disgusting.
你真恶心
Use car keys, like a normal person.
就不能像正常人一样用车钥匙么
You know, we could save ourselves a lot of trouble
要是直接给他发一个木马病毒
if I just sent this publisher a Trojan virus.
就省事多了
The hell's that?
那是什么玩意
It's the nuclear option.
那是终极手段
He gets an innocent little e-mail with the subject line,
给他发一封看似正常的邮件
"Jessica Alba nip slip."
标题写着"杰西卡阿尔芭露奶门"
He's intrigued.
这能提起他的兴趣
Curious.
让好奇的他
He clicks it and... boom.
点开邮件然后嘭
His hard drive is fried.
他的硬盘就毁了
And, suddenly, he's an organ donor,
一眨眼他就等着捐器官去吧
whether he likes it or not.
别无选择啦
You know, these computers give you freaks too much power.
电脑让你们这些技术宅逆天了
The lunch tables have turned.
今非昔比啦
All right, look, no nip slips, no viruses,
好了好了不要露奶也不要病毒
and you are never borrowing my car keys again.
而且我再也不借你车钥匙了
Just call your publisher and explain to him what happened.
你就给出版商打电♥话♥ 跟他解释一下就好了么
I can't talk to him.
我不能打给他
I've told so many lies about why I couldn't hand the book in
我为了不交稿子已经撒了太多谎了
that I've lost track. I'm either admitting you to rehab
我都圆不上了我要么说送你去戒毒所
or rescuing you from a doomsday cult.
要么说解救你脱离世界末日教
Thank you for not putting me in rehab.
谢谢你没说送我去戒毒所
Mike had no right to send that book in.
Mike不应该发我的稿
I'm the only one that should decide when it's done.
什么时候发稿应该由我说了算
That's true. It was your choice to make.
这倒是应该你说了算
Even if you were never gonna send it in.
虽然你这辈子都不会交稿
I was gonna send it in. Eventually.
我会交稿的最终
M... maybe.
也也许
Probably.
大概吧
What is going on with you?
你这是怎么了
Your whole life, you've always finished what you've started.
你这辈子一直都有始有终啊
If not on time, two weeks before it was due.
不是按时完成就是提前两周完成
You potty-trained yourself at 18 months.
你18个月大的时候就会自己上厕所了
Well, diapers were humiliating.
戴尿布太囧了嘛
It was very hard being your sister.
当你妹妹压力太大了
The only thing I ever did early was grow breasts.
我只有胸部发育比你早