冒牌牧师（2015）

by someone way better-looking than you.
抢走了
I'm just gonna throw it out there.
我只是说说这个可能
Tomorrow night-- your engagement party.
明晚 你的订婚趴体
Turn it into a surprise wedding.
把它变成一场惊喜婚礼吧
Surprise wedding?
惊喜婚礼?
People will talk about it for years!
人们会拿这当好几年的饭后谈资滴!
Way more than the Alexa thing, for sure.
确定的是 超出了阿莉克莎的行事风格
By God, if I'm gonna do it anyway,
我滴神 如果我会做的话
why not tomorrow?
为啥不选明天咧?
Exactly! And on your wedding night,
当然啦! 而且在洞房♥花烛夜
you are gonna love that thing she does with her pinky.
你会喜欢上她的小指头哟
That I've heard most hetero women do in bed.
我听说大多数的异性恋女孩纸都会在床上这样做
Dead bodies don't just get up and walk away.
死人不会又站起来走掉啊
Unless they're zombies.
除非是僵尸
Which...I think we can discount.
我觉得... 我们可以排除了
Look, I am not cuckoo.
看 我不是杜♥鹃♥鸟
I know what I saw.
我知道我看到了啥
Do you think that maybe an animal came along
你觉得可能是啥野兽过来
and dug it up and then moved it?
把尸体挖出来了然后把他移♥动♥了位置?
Then filled the hole and placed your scarf on top?
然后把坑填好还把你的围巾放在上面?
That makes your zombie theory look good.
这让你的僵尸论看起来靠谱点
I knew you'd come around.
我知道你会想通的
Okay, what happened?
好吧 发生啥了?
I saw your hand shaking at the Roast Office.
我在咖啡厅看到你的手发抖了
Did he do something?
他做了啥?
You were right. He hasn't changed.
你是对的 他没有变
He's drinking again.
他又酗酒了
Yes! Buddy, I'm scared.
就是! 巴迪 我害怕
When Curt and I were married, he was crazy jealous,
我和柯特结婚的时候 他是嫉妒狂
always accusing me of having affairs,
总是怀疑我出轨
screaming at me if I even talked to another man.
如果我对其他男人说话 他就对我大吼大叫
And then he'd get drunk and he'd go into these rages.
然后他就开始醉酒并且他又开始虐待
Did he ever I don't wanna talk about it.
他有没有... 我不想再说这个了
Where is he now? I'm gonna tell him to go home
他现在在哪? 我会让他乖乖回家
while he still has his teeth. - No, no, no, no!
要不就打掉他的牙齿 不不不!
Please don't get involved.
请别牵扯进来
You don't know the temper he has,
你不知道以他的脾气
what he'll do to you.
他会对你做的事
Why don't you just divorce him?
为什么你不和他离婚呢?
The last time that I hinted at divorce,
上次我提出离婚的时候
he threatened to kill me,
他威胁说要杀了我
and when you are as rich as he is,
并且当你和他一样富有时
you can get away with it.
杀人是不用偿命的
Alexa, you need to leave this asshole.
阿莉克莎 你得离开这个混♥蛋♥了
I know. But I need you alive when I do.
我知道 但是我希望在我离开他的时候你还活着
I love you, Buddy.
我爱你 巴迪
Look, I believe
听着 我相信
that you believe you saw something.
你确信你看到的一些事情
Psychology teaches us that sometimes our subconscious...
心理学上讲 有时候我们的潜意识...
I don't remember the rest.
我不记得其他的啥了
I dropped that class mid-semester.
我只上了上半学期
Russell, I know what I saw.
Russell 我知道我看到了什么
And I'm gonna prove it.
我会找到证据的
There was no way I was letting Alexa
我决不能让阿莉克莎
go back to Chicago with that guy.
和那个家伙一起回芝加哥
Yeah.
嗯
Hey. Hey.
嘿 嘿
Curt knows there's something between us.
柯特知道我俩有一腿
I denied it, but he did not believe me.
我否认了 但是他不相信我
He's furious.
他很气愤
Did he hurt you? No.
他伤害你了吗? 没有
But I'm afraid he's gonna come after you.
但我担心他会来找你
I saw a pistol in his bag.
我看见他包里有枪
Do you have anything to protect yourself with?
你有什么东西可以保护自己吗?
Yeah, remember Damien, the guy you shot?
有啊 你还记得达米安不 就你毙了的那个家伙?
I kept his gun just in case.
以防万一我拿了他的枪
Well, keep it close.
把它放在身边
I would never forgive myself if anything happened to you.
如果你有事的话 我不会原谅我自己的
Come with me to Mexico.
我们一起去墨西哥
Mexico?! Yeah.
墨西哥 是
I have a place near Cancun.
我在坎昆附近有个房♥子
I'm coming into some money tonight.
今晚我去搞些钱
Then we can take off.
然后我们就远走高飞
Yeah!
好呀!
Yeah? Let's do it.
可以? 就这么做
W-what about Curt?
柯特怎么办?
Bring him to Schmidt's engagement party.
把他带到施密特的订婚趴体
I'll take care of the rest.
剩下的我来处理
Oh! Thank you, Buddy.
谢谢你 巴迪
Mother of Mary Christmas!
我滴圣母呀!
You're wearing white?
你穿了白礼服?
What, after a certain number, the odometer resets?
婚结到一定次数就自动复位了?
It's my first marriage, wiseass.
这是我的第一次婚礼 万事通
You have my money? I do.
钱带了吗? 是的
But you won't see it till he says "I do."
但直到他说"我愿意"你才能看到那笔钱
Buddy.
巴迪
Something feels wrong about this.
我有种不好的感觉
I think Alden's making a mistake.
我觉得奥尔登犯错了
Should I say something to him? No!
我应该跟他说点啥吗? 别!
An engagement party is no place to bring up doubt.
订婚趴体不是干架的地方
That kinda stuff should wait till after they're married.
这种事情都应该等到他们订婚结束再解决
Alexa, hey. Schmidt's party's starting.
阿莉克莎 嘿 施密特的趴体要开始了
Where are you? Call me!
你在哪? 回电♥话♥!
Buddy.
巴迪
I found my phone.
我找到手♥机♥了
Great. It's a...special day for everyone.
真好 今天对每个人来说都是特殊的日子
It was in the woods near where the body was.
手♥机♥就在林子里尸体的附近
Damn! Must have fallen out of my jacket
见鬼! 肯定是在我拖达米安尸体时从
when I was dragging Damien.
从外套里掉出来了
Uh...you must have dropped it bird-watching.
你一定是观鸟的时候掉在那里的
I didn't have it then.
那个时候我没带着手♥机♥
I came back to the house to call the police, and then...
我回到这间房♥子要打电♥话♥叫警♥察♥
you took it away from me, remember?
然后你把它拿走了记得吗?
Uh...no.
嗯... 不记得了
The last time I saw my phone,
我最后一次见到我的手♥机♥
it was in your hands.
是在你手里的
I'm sure of it.
我很确定
Look... you took a nasty spill.
是这样... 你摔了个大跟头
I think you're remembering wrong.
我想你一定是记忆错乱了
And I think you're lying.
我认为你在撒谎
Dora!
朵拉！
I want the truth.
我想听真话
Did you go to the woods while I was sleeping?
在我睡觉的时候你是不是去过树林了?
Pastor, you are needed in the living room.
牧师 客厅里需要你
Duty calls.
有工作
Buddy...
巴迪
Attention, everyone.
大家请安静
I have an announcement to make.
我要宣布一件事情
And just so you know, if Alexa shows up later,
正如你们所知道的那样 就算阿莉克莎一会儿过来
she's married, and it's not that big a deal.
她是已经结婚的人 也不能怎么样
Get on with it, sweetie. No... Well,
接着说下面的 亲爱的 不... 哦
uh, this engagement party is actually a wedding!
这个订婚派对实际上是个婚礼!
Yeah, Ashlee and I
是的 阿什莉和我
are getting married now!
现在要结婚了!
Wow! That is awesome!
哇哦! 实在太好了!
Let's hear it for the bride and groom!
让我们听听啊 这一对新人!
Huh?
嗯?
Do you, Alden, take...
奥尔登 你愿意与...
Hang on a sec.
稍等
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