冒牌牧师（2015）

Previously on Impastor
"冒牌牧师"前情提要
If something were going on with Buddy, I would know about it.
如果巴迪有什么事儿 我一定会知道
He can't hide anything from me.
他根本瞒不住我
This is all one big con, isn't it? No! I'm madly in love with him
这是一场大骗局 是不是? 不是! 我疯狂地爱上了他
because he's so incredibly charming.
因为他迷人得要死
I don't know how it's gonna work,
我不知道我们以后怎么办
but I know I need you in my life.
但我知道我的生命中需要你
Who are you?
你是哪位?
I'm her husband.
我是她丈夫
Her husband? Like...
她丈夫? 你的意思是...
Ex-husband?
前夫?
No. We're still married.
不 我们仍是夫妻关系
Lexi...
莱西...
it's great seeing you.
真高兴见到你
What the hell's going on here?
这特么是怎么回事?
Uh, Curt, this is Pastor Barlow.
柯特 这是牧师巴罗
Pastor, could you give us some privacy, please?
牧师 麻烦你给我们俩点私人空间 可以么?
Yeah. You okay?
好啊 你还好吧?
Oh, fine.
哦 我没事
I-I'll fill you in later.
我... 我等会儿和你说
Here.
给
For the happy couple.
送给幸福的一对儿
How did you find me?
你怎么找到我的?
I had a P.I. track you down
你去翻过芝加哥那个保险柜后
after you went to Chicago for the safe deposit box.
我就雇了个私♥家♥侦♥探♥找你的下落
That you emptied.
你提空的那个保险柜
If you needed money, you could have come to me.
如果你需要钱 你本可以来找我要的啊
Come to you? Curt, I ran from you.
找你要? 柯特 我可是逃离了你
I know. I don't blame you.
我知道 我不怪你
The drinking, the way I mistreated you...
我的酗酒 我对你的虐待...
I'm ashamed of the man I was.
我为过去的我感到羞愧
Was?
过去的?
I'm nothing like the guy that drove you away.
我已经全然不是当初逼走你的那个人了
If you just give me a chance...
如果你能给我一次机会
I'll prove it.
我会向你证明的
Where is she?
她在哪里?
I have a big announcement to make.
我有重磅消息宣布
I was still reeling from Alexa's marriage bombshell,
我还没从阿莉克莎的已婚炸♥弹♥中缓过来
and not just 'cause I was out $8.99 for a bottle of champagne.
不仅是因为我买♥♥了香槟欠下的8.99美元
Sorry, guys.
不好意思迟到了
Well, now that we are all gathered,
既然我们都在这儿
I have some big news.
我有一些重大消息
Actually, so do I.
事实上 我也有
Well...mine is un-toppable,
额... 我的无人能比
so go ahead, Sammy Davis Jr.
所以你说吧 小萨米·戴维斯
Warm it up for Frank!
就当为弗兰克暖场了!
Okay. Here goes.
好的 那我就说啦
Five years ago, I was married to a man named Curt.
五年前 我嫁给了一个叫柯特的男人
I still am. He's in town,
我现在还是他老婆 他来这里了
and... we're getting back together.
然后... 我们复合啦
A-are you serious?
你... 你认真的?
That is like the biggest news ever!
这简直是有史以来最大的消息!
Ashlee and I are engaged!
阿什莉和我订婚了!
How could you not tell us you were married?
你怎么能瞒着我们你结婚了呢?
Things didn't end well, so when I moved here
我们俩后来闹得不愉快 所以我搬来这儿了
it wasn't something I wanted to talk about.
这些事情我并不想说出来
And then when we became friends,
然后后来我们变成朋友了
it felt weird to bring it up.
再提起来就很怪了
It didn't end well, but now you're back with him?
闹得不大愉快 但是现在你又复合了?
Yeah. Curt and I had our issues,
是啊 柯特和我是一直有分歧
but we've always loved each other,
但我们一直深爱着对方
and we talked it through last night.
昨晚上我们彻夜长谈
We're gonna give it another go.
我们决定给对方再一次机会
Oh, well...
哦 好的吧
two married people are staying married.
两个结了婚的人依然结着婚
Call the 6:00 Snooze!
就当睡了个回笼觉吧!
A husband and wife reuniting after five years apart?
分离五年的夫妻破镜重圆了?
That is so romantic! - You want romantic?
这真是太浪漫了! 你想听浪漫的事儿?
When do we get to meet Curt? Is he moving here?
我们什么时候能见到柯特? 他要搬来么?
He lives in Chicago, but he has his own plane,
他住在芝加哥 但他有私人飞机
so maybe he'll fly back and forth?
所以大概他会两头飞吧?
We'll figure it out.
我们会想办法解决异地问题的
What's already figured out is the engagement party
已经解决的问题是
that Ashlee and I are throwing Saturday night, huh?
我和阿什莉的订婚宴 就在周六晚上
And you're all invited.
并且你们都被邀请了哦
Geez, Alden, you haven't been dating very long.
天呐 奥尔登 你很久没约会了
Isn't this engagement kinda quick?
订婚是不是太快了?
That is not the proper response!
这不是常规的回应!
Proper response is like, uh, "Congratulations,"
你应该说"恭喜"这种话的
a hearty clap on the shoulder.
或者过来热情地拍拍我肩膀
No, don't touch me.
别 别碰我
Oh! Sorry.
哦! 不好意思!
Oh, my gosh!
哦 我的妈!
A Bohemian Waxwing has been sighted nearby!
附近有人看到了一只太平鸟!
There hasn't been one in this area
这地方打2003年四月起
since April of aught 3!
就没有人看到过呢!
Well, what are you waiting for?
呀 那你还等什么?
The Waxwing is at the top of your bird bucket list!
太平鸟可是你鸟愿清单里的头一条!
I know, but I wanna hear about Curt.
我知道 但是我想听听柯特的事儿嘛
And my impending nuptials.
以及我在即的婚礼
Go!
快去!
We'll have plenty of time to talk.
我们有大把时间可以谈
Okay, thanks. Aah!
好的 谢啦 啊哈!
Okay, I gotta go get my binocs!
我得先去拿我的望远镜!
I guess that's... meeting adjourned.
我想现在... 是休会了
Alexa, you got a second?
阿莉克莎 你有空么?
All right, what's going on? I mean,
讲真 发生什么了? 我的意思是
you didn't look too happy to see this guy yesterday,
你昨天见到那家伙的时候可没这么开心
and now you're back with him?
现在你却要和他复合了?
Buddy, I left Curt because he was drinking a lot,
巴迪 我之前离开柯特是因为他酗酒
and...and things got bad.
然后... 然后事情变得很糟
But he says he's sober now and a completely different man.
但他现在和我说他戒酒了并且改头换面了
I don't buy it . Once a dick, always a dick.
我可不信这鬼话 一时混♥蛋♥ 一世混♥蛋♥
You don't even know him.
你根本就不了解他
It's like Jesus said about the lepers:
这就像耶稣对麻风病人的评价
"They don't change their spots."
"他们抹不去他们的麻点"
Buddy,
巴迪
Curt was the love of my life at one time,
柯特是我曾经的挚爱
and if he's back to being that guy,
如果他又变回了我爱的那个他
don't I owe him a second chance?
为什么我不能给他重来的机会呢?
So that's it?
所以这就是你的解释?
He says he's sorry, and all is forgiven?
他说了句抱歉 然后一切都被原谅了?
What about us?
那我们俩怎么办?
Us?
我们?
You haven't even wanted to tell people we're together.
你之前甚至都不想公开我们俩的关系
Well, maybe I'm ready now.
好吧 但我可能现在准备好了
Buddy, please don't make this harder
巴迪 我已经很难了
than it already is for me.
请不要让我这个决定更难
I'm sorry.
对不起
Favorite color. Well, I tell people blue,
最喜欢的颜色 我和别人说是蓝色
but it's really beige.
但其实我喜欢的是米色
Oh, my gosh--I thought I was the only one who loved beige!
哦 我天... 我以为只有我喜欢米色呢!
This is--
这真是...
W--Look who's here! Old friends.
哇... 看看那是谁! 老朋友
Paul and Wendy Johnsen, I'd like you to meet Ashlee.
保尔和温迪·约翰逊 我想让你们认识下阿什莉
She's my fiancee!
她是我的未婚妻！
Nice to meet you. Say, just had an idea!
很高兴见到你 啊哈 刚想到
How 'bout the four of us have dinner some night?
不如我们挑个晚上来个四人约会怎么样
We're, uh... pretty busy.
我们... 很忙
Don't mind them.
别把他们放心上