冒牌牧师（2015）

We're dating.
我们在约会
I'm gonna go put these in some water.
我去把花放水里去
Get in here.
快给我到这里来
You were supposed to go back to portland.
你本来应该滚回波特兰的
I was going to, but then I met dora and...
我是这么打算的啊 但是我遇见了朵拉...然后...
Well, find someone else to .
好吧 重找一个妹子吧...
'cause if you hang around ladner,
因为如果还在这里晃的话
You could screw up my entire operation.
你会毁了我的卧底行动
I don't think you have the right to tell me
我觉得你没有权利决定
Who I can or cannot date.
我能和谁约会不能和谁约会
What are you two guys talking about in here?
你们俩在这里聊什么呢?
Well, Rudy here was asking me how long
额 鲁迪正问我要多久
Chlamydia takes to clear up.
尿道炎才能好
Yeah, it's for a poor woman in a case that I have.
是...我帮一个我案子里的可怜的女人问的
And the pastor has a lot of experience with STDs.
因为牧师在性病这类事情方面很有经验
Well, it does my heart good
好吧 不过我真的很开心看见
to see you two bonding so quickly.
你们俩这么快就熟络上了
Yeah.
是啊
Hey there.
嗨
Are you ray?
你是雷么?
You Tina's friend?
你是蒂娜的朋友?
And her pastor. My name is pastor--
兼她的牧师 我的名字是牧师...
I don't give a shit.
你名字关我屁事
She said you got a proposal. Let's hear it.
她说你有个提议 说出来听听
Okay, here it is.
好的 是这样的
Instead of giving you 20 grand,
我们提议是不给你2万刀
We give you five grand in cash,
而是给你5千现金
Plus something much more valuable than money.
外加一些比钱更珍贵的东西
Yeah, what you got? You got gold, diamonds?
好吧说说你有啥? 是金子还是钻石?
You got the A?
白粉?
Even better.
比这更好
If you take this deal,
如果你接受这份协议
I will personally talk to the man upstairs
我会亲自和天上的那位求情
about securing you a place in his heavenly kingdom,
让他给你在天堂里留个地方
forever and ever, amen.
永生永世的天堂的好位子啊 兄弟
You're kidding me, right?
你在逗我玩呢吧?
Eternal salvation, my friend. You can't put a price on that.
永远的救赎啊 我的朋友 这可是无价的
You tell Tina I want my 20 gs by tomorrow
你去告诉蒂娜 明天之前我要拿到我的两万刀
or this gets ugly.
不然事情就难看了
You really gotta litter like that?
你就这么乱扔垃圾啊?
Yeah, you know, you're right.
是啊 你说得对
Somebody should clean that up.
确实应该有人把垃圾处理干净
I am definitely telling god about this!
我发誓这事儿我会告诉上帝的!
I needed another 15 grand and had no idea how to get it.
我还需要一万五千刀 但是我不知道哪里可以拿到这么多钱
Times like these,
每到这个时候
I wish I believed in divine intervention.
我真希望我相信有神的保佑
Buddy's prayer racing at Judson Downs in 45 minutes.
45分钟后巴迪的祈祷者在贾德森跑马场开跑
Hey, Buddy.
嘿 巴迪
Dora, we've been over this.
朵拉 我们讨论过这个
What's the point of knocking if you're just gonna barge in?
如果你直接撞门进来 那你敲门的意义在哪里
I could have been...
我有可能在...
Jacking off.
打飞机
Praying. Sorry.
或者祈祷 对不起
Rudy wants to have dinner here tonight,
鲁迪今晚想来这儿吃晚饭
And I just wanted to make sure you were good with that.
我想来问问你是不是同意
Rudy wants to?
鲁迪想来吃晚饭?
Yeah, he loves this house. He says it's so cozy.
对的 他很爱这栋房♥子 他说他感到很舒适
Anyway, I may want to go out,
不管怎样 我可能会想出去
But I just wanted to check with you.
但我还是要来问问你
Yeah, sure.
好的 当然可以
Just don't get cozy in my bedroom.
只是千万不要在我房♥间里做舒服的事
Um, buddy, we've only been out twice.
呃 巴迪 我们只约会过两次
We're seven dates away from second base.
还有七次约会才能打二垒
Howdy-ho, alden!
你好啊 奥尔登!
What are you doing?
你在干什么?
Have you thought any more about that media center?
关于多电视柜的事 你有再想想吗?
You are drafting off me. That's no fair!
你这是在逼我 这不公平!
We could pick one out today. I'll even help you put it up.
我们今天就可以挑选 我甚至可以帮你把它安装好
You know you want to!
你肯定想要的!
I don't respond to sing-song.
我不理会说话像唱歌♥的人
I'm not gonna stop till you say yes.
在你同意之前我会一直唱
Fine, okay. Now leave me be.
好 行 现在你立马从这里离开
Rhinestone cowboy" is coming on,
轮到 莱茵石牛仔 这首歌♥了
and that's when I like to turn on the afterburners.
我现在想要加速燃脂了
No, it's not about the redhead, Tim.
不 不是关于那个红发人的事 蒂姆
I want to make sure we did the right thing burying that body.
我想要确认我们把那具尸体埋了是正确的
I gotta make sure this guy's really fbi.
我得去确认那家伙是不是真的FBI
I had two minutes to get my bet down.
我有两分钟时间下赌注
They're at the gate. It's post time.
他们已经到了门口 要开始啦
Look, this is my first time. I'm a little confused.
你好 我是第一次赌马 我有一点不明白
What do I do if I want to place a bet
如果我想赌这匹马最后是第二名
on a horse to come in second place?
我该怎么做
Oh, for the love of christ!
噢 我的神呐!
I am a registered pastor. I need this window.
我是一位注册牧师 我需要这个窗口
It is an emergency.
我有紧急情况
Thank you so much.
非常感谢你
Hi, $5,000 to win on Buddy's prayer.
你好 五千美元押巴迪的祈祷者赢
Hey, Dora. Is Buddy here?
嘿 朵拉 巴迪在吗?
How would I know? I'm only his assistant.
我怎么知道? 我只是他的助理
He doesn't tell me anything.
他又不是什么事都告诉我
I tried calling him, and it went straight to voicemail.
我给他打电♥话♥ 但是直接转去语♥音♥信箱了
He's probably in another BJ session.
也许他在进行BJ呢(BJ也可以指blow job)
Excuse me?
你说什么?
I know he needs them, but is it too much to ask
我知道他很需要 但是如果请他告诉我
for him to tell me when they are happening?
这些会安排在什么时候就那么难吗?
Oh, no, get your mind out of the gutter, no, no, no.
噢 不 你别想那些乱七八糟的事 不 不 不是那样的
BJ stands for Be Jesus.
BJ的意思是 成为耶稣
It's not--not that other thing.
不是...不是那啥
Okay.
好吧
Ooh, are these from Detective Lovello?
哇哦 这是洛弗罗警探送的吗?
Yeah, we're going out again tonight.
是的 今晚我们要出去约会
To be honest with you,
说实话
I'm starting to have my doubts about him.
我现在开始犹豫了
What are you talking about?
你在说什么啊?
Yesterday you were just telling Scrunchie
你昨天还在和小发圈说
he might have a new daddy.
他也许会有一个新爸爸了
Why the change of heart? － I can't put my finger on it.
为什么改变主意了呢? 具体我也说不上来
It's just that something doesn't seem right.
但就是有些事情不大对劲
Dora, I know that you've been hurt a lot,
朵拉 我知道你过去经常受伤
But this guy is great.
但是这家伙很好
He's handsome, he's employed, he got you flowers.
帅气 有正经工作 还买♥♥花给你
Yeah, but we've already run out of things to talk about.
的确 但是我们能聊的都已经聊完了
I mean, other than Buddy. We talk about Buddy a lot.
我是说除了巴迪以外的事 我们经常谈论巴迪
What about him?
谈论他的什么?
Well, you know, like, where he goes,
恩 你知道的 比如他去了哪里
What he does, that kind of stuff.
他做了什么 诸如此类
He's a pastor; it's not like he leads the most exciting life.
他是牧师 他的生活肯定算不上是最有趣的
Run, you son of a bitch!
跑啊 你个蠢货!
Come on!
给点力啊!
It's Buddy's prayer!
巴迪的祈祷者赢了!
Yes!
太棒了!
Yeah! Whoo!
耶! 太棒了!
Yes!
中!
Oh, he's a winner!
他夺冠啦!
We got a winner today!
我方获胜啦!
Whoo! Whoo!
哇哦!哇!
There.
装好啦
Help me move it against the wall?
能帮忙推到靠墙的位置吗?
This is very impressive, Russell.
真是让我印象深刻啊 拉塞尔
I had no idea you were so handy.
没想到你手这么巧