冒牌牧师（2015）

Guess I just never thought about it.
可能只是因为我从来没往那方面想过吧
Who do you think it could be?
你觉得这个的主人是谁呢?
Well, whoever it is,
额 不管是谁的
they're pretty trashy.
这胸罩都很艳俗
Actually, I think it's sexy and tasteful.
事实上 我觉得这挺性感的 有品位的
Maybe if you're a prostitute.
可能吧 如果你是个妓♥女♥的话
Sheriff, what a pleasant surprise.
警长 多么美妙的惊喜
That almost sounded sincere.
听起来真是真诚呢
I do my best.
我尽力表现得真诚
You know the other day when you took that lie detector test?
还记得前几天你做的测谎试验吗?
Really something how that machine didn't work on you.
怎么那台机器就对你不起作用了
I hear those babies are expensive to fix.
我听说那娇贵的机器修起来挺贵的
Is it still under warranty?
它还在保修期内吗?
Funny thing though.
可笑的是
After you left, I asked Lionel
你离开之后 我让莱诺尔
to hook me up to it, and it worked just fine.
把我连接到机器上 它完全没问题
I wondered, why would the test work for me
我很奇怪 为什么测谎仪对我有效果
and not for you?
对你却没有?
Maybe it's more of a "Lady-tector" Test.
可能它是”女士专用测谎仪"
Come on.
是吧
But then I thought,
然后我就想
what if Lionel couldn't get a baseline on you
是不是因为你的回答都是谎言
because every answer about yourself was a lie?
所以莱诺尔获取不到你的基准线
That would mean you aren't who you say you are,
那就意味着你不是自称的那个人
Pastor Barlow.
巴罗牧师
And given your logic, that would also mean
按照你的逻辑 那也意味着
I didn't kill Ray Flores.
我并没有杀雷 佛洛勒斯
But I have a feeling you know who did.
但我感觉你知道是谁杀的
And I'm not gonna stop until I know all about that
而且直到我完全了解事情的始末和你的身份之前
and all about you.
我是不会停止调查的
Turns out, cops and judges
现在的情况是 不仅仅是警长和法官
weren't the only boobs causing me trouble.
这两个人给我带来麻烦了
This is why I told you, you should never wear bras.
这就是为什么我要告诉你永远不要穿胸罩
I don't like lying to my friends, Buddy,
巴迪 我不想向我的朋友们说谎
and I don't like sneaking around.
而且我也不喜欢偷偷摸摸的
Maybe we should just tell everyone about us.
或许我们应该把我们的关系公之于众
No. No, I'm not ready.
不 不 我还没准备好
I'm still confused about the whole gay/straight thing.
我还在困惑我是弯是直
You weren't confused last night.
你昨晚可不犹豫
Three times.
一夜三次哦
Yeah, but on the last one,
是 但是最后的一次
I was pretending you were a dude.
我想象你是一个男人
Look, I don't know if you're confused
听我说 我不知道你到底是困惑
or embarrassed or just afraid of how people will react,
还是尴尬 又或是害怕看到别人会有什么反应
but until you figure it out,
但在你弄清楚之前
maybe we shouldn't do this anymore.
我想我们不要再做这件事了
Maybe you're right.
也许你是对的
No, this is not one of those moments.
不 不是你想的那种场景
Still no.
还是不行
The plot thickens.
痕迹越来越明显了
This was my one shot to get Austin out of jail.
这是我把奥斯丁弄出狱的一次机会
But if the FBI saw through me,
但是如果FBI看穿了我
I knew I'd be joining him.
我知道我肯定也要入狱
Okay, let's get you wired.
好了 我来给你接上电线
What are you doing?
你在干什么?
I was just gonna put this on your lapel.
我只是要把这个放在你的衣领上
Oh, yeah.
哦 没什么
Just I've been through so many of these things.
只是我最近经历了太多事情
I'm bored.
我感到疲倦了
Yeah, right.
哦 好的
All right, it's voice-activated,
好了 这个是用声音激活的
so it'll pick up everything the judge says.
所以它可以收集到法官说的一切
I take it you're well versed in tactical memorization.
我猜你精通策略记忆
Of course.
当然
Good.
很好
This is a list of all the facts about the case
这上面列出了我想让你询问法官的
and questions I want you to ask the judge.
关于这个案件的所有事实和问题
Commit to memory.
你得记好它
Hey.
喂
What?
怎么了?
Can't have any leave-behinds.
不能留下痕迹
Right.
对呀
It's just that-- call me old-school,
只是 当我是老派的吧
I usually eat the paper.
我通常把纸吃掉
No agent does that.
没有哪个特工会那样做
Fact.
是真的
I once at a field nual
曾经我在一次行动后
and shit out Old Glory.
拉出了国旗
Dare me.
敢惹我嘛
Man, Cobra, you're something else.
兄弟 眼镜蛇啊 你还真是特别
And don't you forget it.
也请你不要忘记这点
Blonde with dark roots.
黑色发根的金发
Coarse from years of bleaching.
多年染发导致粗糙的毛发
It could be Alexa's. What's your point?
这的确可能是阿莉克莎的头发 那你的意思是什么?
That it could have been Alexa in Buddy's bed.
那在巴迪床上的就可能是阿莉克莎
Doing what people do in bed.
做人们在床上做的不可描述的事情
You know, when they're not sleeping or reading
你懂的 除了睡觉和读书
or watching TV or knitting or...
还有看电视或织毛衣或者...
I know what people do, but that's ridiculous.
我你说的不可描述 但那太荒谬了
Is it?
是吗?
Because when I showed her the bra,
当我给她看那个胸罩的时候
she seemed a little squirrely.
她似乎有点不安
I know for a fact that Buddy Barlow
我百分百确定 巴迪巴罗这个人
is 100% gay.
是个百分百的同性恋
No man can look at me the way he does
没有哪个男人像他那样看着我
and be a breeder.
还这样宠着我
Maybe he's weaning himself off being gay.
或许他已经脱离了同性恋的状态
That's not how it works. It's not like dairy or carbs.
那样是不行的 这又不是奶制品或碳水化合物
Well, something is going on.
好吧 反正肯定有事情
And I'm going to find out what.
我要把它查清楚
Your Honor, I'm a law and order guy just like you.
法官阁下 我是一个跟您一样遵法守纪的人
And I love how you take a hard stance
我也喜欢您对未成年犯
against juvenile delinquents,
采取强硬立场的作风
but you should let Austin McCain go.
但是您应该让奥斯丁 麦凯恩出狱
Why is that?
为什么?
Because he's a good kid.
因为他是个好孩子
And believe me, there are a lot of bad ones out there.
相信我 外面有很多坏孩子
Real scumbags who deserve to be in jail.
那些真正的无赖才应该坐牢
Harsh language for a man of God?
一个牧师说出这样的话 不是有些太恶毒了?
Oh, trust me.
哦 相信我
God wants these troublemaking turds
上帝和我俩一样
behind bars as much as you and I do.
都想把这些爱惹麻烦的小混♥蛋♥们关起来
And I can get 'em for you.
而我能帮你抓到他们
What do you mean for me?
帮我抓到是什么意思?
I mean, for the justice system.
我是说为司法系统
For America.
为了美♥利♥坚♥
If we work together, we could get a hundred
如果我们联手 我们可以从街头揪出
of these pre-pube drug-running dirtballs off the street.
上百个嗑药又脏兮兮的青春期小屁孩
Pastor, as much as I appreciate
牧师 我非常欣赏
your anticrime zeal,
你反犯罪的热心
I am not in the habit of rescinding my sentences.
我没有修改自己宣判结果的习惯
But, Your Honor I'm sorry.
但是 法官阁下 对不起
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm due in court.
请原谅 我得上庭了
You're in a mood.
你心情不错嘛
You bet I am.
当然了
You know, since my divorce is final
你知道的 今天我终于离婚了
as of today, I thought we might...
我想我们也许可以...
move it up a notch.
关系更进一步
Oh? Yeah.
哦？是的
I'm sorry, we have to stop.
对不起 我们得停下来