冒牌牧师（2015）

Impastor S02E08

Part 2 March 31, 2021, 3:04 p.m.

Should I be taking notes?
我需要记笔记吗?
My Mike Redmond was Teddy Cole.
惹我的那个人叫泰迪科尔
Ugh, he was always picking on me,
他总是欺负我
But one time, he passed out at a party,
但是有一次他在派对上昏倒了
So I drew a hitler mustache on him,
我在他脸上画上希♥特♥勒♥的胡子
And I wrote the word "Shitler" on his forehead.
在他额头上写上"屎特勒"
Nice. Didn't wash off for weeks.
干得漂亮几个星期都洗不掉
Remember, when you get your shot at revenge,
记住如果有报仇的机会
Make the most of it.
牢牢把握住
You know, they told me you were different, but man.
他们说你与众不同不过确实
Hang on.
等一下
I got to rip you a new one.
我得严厉批评你让你改过自新
If I ever see you back here again,
下次再这样
There will be consequences, young man!
你要承担后果小伙子!
Okay, okay! Take it easy, will ya?
知道了知道了! 别生气行吗?
I like you, kid.
我喜欢你小孩
You remind me of a young me.
你让我想起了我小时候
So I'm gonna teach you the ten words
所以我要教你个十字箴言
That will get you out of any trouble.
能帮你摆脱所有麻烦
Hit me.
请说
"I'm sorry.
"对不起
"I was wrong.
我错了
It will never happen again."
绝不再犯"
Get out of here.
出去吧
Well?
怎么样?
I'm sorry.
对不起
I was wrong.
我错了
It'll never happen again.
绝不再犯
Oh, come here.
过来
Oh, Buddy, good.
巴迪太好了
I am thinking of running for president.
我想参选会长(与”总统”为一词)
Of america?
美国总统?
Of the church.
教会会长
Oh.
噢
Hilva helped me realize that it is time
席尔瓦让我意识到
That somebody run against Alden,
是时候有人和奥尔登竞选了
But I don't want to do it without your blessing.
但是没有你的祝福我不想竞选
If you won, you'd still do all my shopping
如果你赢了还是会继续帮我买♥♥东西
And all the other junk you do around here?
还有你在这处理的其他乱七八糟的事儿吧?
Of course.
当然
The only difference would be, you'd see Alden much less,
唯一的不同就是见到奥尔登的次数会少很多
And I'd be out of the house a little more.
我出门会多一些
Pretend to think. Pretend to think. Pretend to think
假装考虑假装考虑假装考虑
All right, if that's what you want.
可以如果这就是你想要的
So I can count on your support?
那么你会支持我吗?
Absolutely. Ah, good.
当然真好
Because I am tired of letting that man walk all over everyone.
因为我受够了那个人的专横跋扈
We're talking moral support, right?
我们说的是精神支持对吧?
Not actual work or anything.
不是实际帮助之类的
Pastor.
牧师
I have a few more questions
我还有一些
About the Ray Florez murder.
关于雷弗洛雷斯谋杀案的问题
Would you please stop badgering this man?
你能不能不要再缠着这个人了?
Dora, it's okay. I got this.
朵拉没事我来处理
No. But if you're so convinced that he did something,
如果你那么确信他做了什么
Why don't you just give him a lie detector test,
为什么不给他做测谎仪测试
And let's be done with this nonsense?
彻底结束这个荒谬的行为?
He won't agree to that. Of course he will.
他不会同意的他肯定会同意
Right, Buddy?
对吧巴迪?
The truth was, I didn't kill Ray Florez,
事实就是我没杀雷弗洛雷斯
So why not?
测谎有啥不可以?
All set.
一切就绪
Okay, just ask me the big question,
就直接问我那个重要问题
And let's get this over with.
结束这一切
That's not how this works.
不是这么来的
We ask a few questions to establish a baseline first.
我们先问几个问题确定下基线
Lionel?
莱昂内尔开始吧
Is your name Jonathan Barlow?
你的名字是乔纳森巴罗吗?
Yes.
是的
Try another question. Are you a pastor?
试试另一个问题你是一名牧师吗?
Of course.
当然了
Do you identify as homosexual?
你觉得自己是同性恋吗?
Yes, I do.
没错我是
What the hell is happening?
你这机器到底怎么了?
I'm sorry, sheriff. Something's off.
我很抱歉警长某个部分出问题了
I...I...I can't establish a baseline.
我我我无法建立基线
Ask that question. It won't mean anything.
接着问问题那样是测不出来什么的
Did you kill Ray Florez?
是你杀了雷弗洛雷兹吗?
No.
当然不是我
All right, what does that mean?
好吧这又是什么意思?
Does that mean he's lying?
这说明了他在撒谎吗?
Maybe he's an opposite guy.
也许他和常人是反的
That's not a thing.
压根没有这种说法
I don't know what this all means,
我只知道这个机器出故障了
Other than the machine's not working.
不知道这些都说明了什么
Guys, I'm a very busy man.
各位我很忙的
I volunteered to answer your questions,
哪个无罪的人会像我这样
Which no guilty person would do.
自愿来回答你们的问题
We're...
我
Done here.
就做到这了
Hello.
哈喽
What...what is this?
这...这个是什么?
Some feeble joke?
什么蹩脚的笑话吗?
No. No joke, Alden.
不呀不是笑话奥尔登
I'm running against you.
我在和你一同竞选
You and what army?
你和你的什么团队?
This one. Mein gott in himmel!
这里我的个上帝哦
Hilva is my campaign manager,
席尔瓦是我的竞选团队经理
And we are looking forward
而且我们期待着
To a good, clean fight between competing...
和你有一个良好公平的竞争
We're gonna crush you like a bug.
我们打败你简直易如反掌
Mm-hmm. You don't scare me.
噢我可不怕你们
Then why is your eye twitching?
那为什么你的眼睛抽搐个不停?
'cause it has to stay open to look at you!
因为它要睁着才能看着你啊!
There won't be a fight,
我们之间不会有竞争的
'cause I won't have to lift a finger to beat you.
因为我根本不用费力就能打败你
Back it up, Otis. You've got room.
向后倒欧蒂斯还有空间
Yeah, there. Perfect.
好的就这儿完美
What in the...
什么东西...
This is a no-skateboarding zone.
这里不是滑滑板的地方
I don't see any sign.
我没看见任何标语
Only one sign you need to see, mister.
你需要看到的只有这个标语先生
Right there. Yeah, yeah.
就在那好的好的
Can I get my board back now, old man?
现在我可以拿回我的滑板了吗老头?
No, you may not.
不你不能拿走
Obviously your parents didn't teach you any manners,
显然你的父母没有教你任何礼仪
So I will.
所以我来教你
Now get out of here.
快滚
Go on...
继续走
Tony hawk!
滑板小子!
I know your name!
我知道你的名字!
Hey, what are you doing here?
嗨你来这干什么?
I said I needed some time.
我说了我需要一些时间
I'm here for the council meeting.
我来这是为了委员会会议
Then why do you look so hot?
那你怎么穿得这么火♥辣♥?
this is how I always dress.
我一直就是这么穿的
you know, I'm sorry.
好吧我很抱歉
I'm still...I'm working through all the confusion.
我还... 我还在努力理清所有的困惑
And that cleavage does not help.
不过你的乳♥沟♥简直在帮倒忙
Buddy, I am really into you,
亲爱的我真的挺喜欢你的