冒牌牧师（2015）

We could both be screwed.
我们就都死定了
Well, she's not gonna figure it out as long as we
她不会搞清楚的
keep our story straight.
只要我们故事编的合理
What did you tell her?
你怎么跟她说的?
She showed me his picture.
她给我看了他的照片
I said I’ve never seen him before.
我说我从来没见过他
That's it.
就这样
As long as you say the same thing, we're good.
只要你说得和我一样 我们就没事
Are you sure you're telling me the whole truth?
你确定你把所有的事情都跟我说了?
I swear on the bible.
我以圣经的名义起誓
And as your pastor, you know that's like a big thing.
并且作为你的牧师 你知道这是一件严重的事情
You guys okay with lemonade?
柠檬水可以吗?
Yes, that's fine.
可以
Hurry it along, would you, I want to talk to you.
快点 可以吗 我想和你聊聊
Whatever the bish was gonna grill me about
无论这个主教要拷问我什么
I had to be prepared.
我必须有所准备
Gentlemen, here we go.
我们开始吧
Oh, oh, oh, not that one.
不 不 别喝那个
Put my thumb in it.
我指头不小心伸进去了
Here we are.
给你这个
Alden Thank you.
奥尔登 谢谢你
So you're hanging up the old bishop's uni, huh?
你要离任主教了 是嘛?
Yes.
对的
It is time to pass the baton to my successor.
是时候将我的衣钵传给后来人了
Well, Heinrich Steuben is a fine man.
海因里希 斯托本是个不错的人
I'm sure he'll fill the position with grace and dignity.
我确定他会把这个职位发扬光大
Steuben's an ass Never liked him.
斯托本是个二货 我一直不喜欢他
We need someone to grow our church
我们需要一个人来发展我们的教堂
and lead us into the future.
并且带领我们走向未来
And that's why I am recommending pastor Barlow.
这就是为什么我推荐巴罗牧师的原因
What? He's not qualified!
什么? 他完全不够资格!
He's right, I'm not.
他是对的 我不合适
That kind of modesty is one of the reasons I want you.
这种谦虚就是我想要你的一个原因
What other reason could you possibly have?
那其它原因是什么?
You're young, you're progressive,
你很年轻 上进
You've raised church attendance, and you've increased donations.
你提高了教堂出席率 并且你增加了筹款
He's gay!
他是同性恋!
Another plus. Thanks,Alden.
另一个优点 谢谢你提醒 奥尔登
You're the perfect man to be the spiritual leader
你是这个地区87个教堂
Of this region's 87 churches.
精神领袖的完美人选
I could barely fool one church,
我几乎连一个教堂都管不好
But 87?
让我管87个?
No way.
没门
I'm gonna need some more lemonade.
我需要更多的柠檬水
Hi, Sheriff.
你好 警长
Can I show you anything?
你想看点什么?
No, I’m just browsing.
不用 我只是随便看看
But if you ever have a 95% off sale, let me know.
但是如果你啥时候打0.5折 请告诉我
Oh, but hey, while I’m here,
不过哦 正好我来了
Can you look at something for me?
你能帮我看看这些东西吗?
You ever seen this guy?
你见过这个男的吗?
No.Hmm.
没有
I'm confused,because Alden Schmidt
那我就迷惑了 因为奥尔登施密特
Told me he definitely remembers seeing this man in your store.
很确定的告诉我他在你的店里看到过这个男的
Well, he's probably right.
他也许是对的
I get a lot of customers.
我有很多顾客
Yeah, I can see that.
好吧 看得出来
I noticed you have security cameras.
我注意到你有监控
Do you mind if I take a look at the tapes?
你介意我看一看录像吗?
No, not at all.
没问题
Uh, now that I have you alone,
既然现在只有你和我了
I'd like to talk to you about my impending split with Hilva.
我想和你聊聊我和希尔瓦之间濒临破裂的关系
What about it?
怎么了?
Well, I’d like you to sanction the divorce.
我希望你支持我们离婚
Your blessing would ensure that my standing
你的祝福能保证我在社区
in the community remains tip-top.
顶端的地位不变
Divorce isn't something I or the church take lightly.
离婚又不是儿戏 我或教会都不能草率对待
On what ground would I sanction it?
我又用什么理由支持呢？
You could declare Hilva a witch.
你可以说希尔瓦就是个巫婆
Very few would dispute it.
没什么人会质疑的
Alden, the church hasn't done that in 300 years.
奥尔登 教会都三百年没干过这事了
So there is precedent.
那就是有先例咯
Hello, bishop.
您好 主教
Welcome back to Ladner one last time.
欢迎最后一次回到拉德纳
Thank you.
谢谢
I'll never forget this place.
我永远都忘不了这地方
My lingering limp won't let me.
我挥之不去的跛脚时刻在提醒我
You sure won't be easy to replace.
您当然不会这么容易被取代
Actually, I’ve already chosen a successor.
实际上 我已经选好了继任者
You're not gonna believe this. Pastor barlow.
你们绝对不会相信 巴罗牧师
Buddy?
巴迪?
O-m-g, he's a lutheran rock star!
天呐 他简直是路德教中的摇滚巨星!
Well, we really should be going.
好的 我们真得走了
We don't want to be late for our tee time.
可不能耽误了开场(茶)时间
That's a golf tee, not the tee you use as a weapon.
那是高尔夫球场 可不是你用来做武器的茶水
Buddy can't leave. He just got here.
巴迪不能离开 他才刚来
Dora, i feel if you love someone, set him free.
朵拉 我认为如果你真爱某人 就让他展翅高飞
And then follow him to whatever city he's in,
然后追随他去到他在的城市
Buy a condo next door, and persist until
买♥♥一间隔壁的公♥寓♥ 然后坚持到
he moves in with me.
他搬来与我同居
You gave her the security tape?
你给了她安保录像？
I had to!
我不得不给啊!
If i didn't, it would look too suspicious.
如果我不给 那就太可疑了
Especially after I just lied to her because you told me to.
尤其是因为你告诉我对她撒谎之后
Great, now she's gonna know I lied too.
好样的 现在她知道我也撒谎了
Pastor?
牧师？
I got to go.
我要挂了
Uh, just a second.
请稍等
Come in!
进来吧!
I thought that we could have a little--
我觉得我们可以来一点--
You caught me smoking marijuana.
你抓到我在吸大♥麻♥了
Something that's legal in oregon,
这在俄勒冈是合法的
But not very bishop-like.
但不是主教该做的
Is this something you do often?
你经常吸?
Well, not too often for a pastor
作为一个牧师来说不是太多
But probably too often to hold any higher office.
但可能经常到不能胜任更高的职位
Well, on this matter, I always like to turn to Genesis.
在这件事上 我会经常想到《创世纪》(也是乐队的名字)
Which album?
哪一个专辑?
Genesis 1:29.
创世纪 第一章29节
"god gives us every seed-bearing plant to use."
结出各种果实的植物都是上帝赐予的
As far as i'm concerned, you have violated
依我看 你既没有冒犯主的法文
Neither his law, nor man's.
也没触犯人类法律
What a relief.
那我就放心了
Listen, you know, I get that you are hesitant
听着 我知道你在犹豫
About this promotion, but, uh,
关于这次晋升 但
I'd like to know why.
我想知道为什么
Because I don't feel I’m worthy.
因为我觉得我没那个水平
You think I felt worthy?
你认为我一开始觉得有那个水平?
You grow into it.
你做着做着就上手了
Of course, there are downsides.
当然 也确实有不好的地方
Traveling all the time, and you won't be able
经常跑来跑去的 你就不会
To perform as many services as you do now.
像现在这样经常布道了
I'd miss that.
我会想念的
The perks of this job are sick.
但是这工作的福利简直变♥态♥
The bishop's house in seattle--gorgeous.
主教寓所在西雅图 简直豪华
I get wined and dined.
免费吃喝
I play golf three times a week.
我一周打三次高尔夫
Concerts, trips, sporting events--
音乐会 旅游 体育赛事
Whatever I want, my flock provides it.
无论我想要什么 我的教友都会提供
It's good to be the Bish, huh?
做主教很好吧 嗯哼？