冒牌牧师（2015）

Impastor S02E02

Part 1 March 31, 2021, 3:03 p.m.

Previously on "Impastor"
"冒牌牧师"前情回顾
What's your connection with a big guy like that?
你和那个家伙有什么关系?
I'm undercover FBI.
我是FBI的卧底
Well, hello.
你们好啊
I heard this rumor that you are a-- a lady of the night.
我听到一个谣言说你是一个...一个夜店妹子
It's true.
没错
Say good-bye, Buddy Dobbs.
说永别吧巴迪·多布斯
Oh, God.
噢上帝
I hope getting shot doesn't hurt.
我希望被枪杀不会疼
That wasn't so bad.
还不算疼嘛
Hyde?
海德?
Lovello?
洛弗罗?
Anyone?
有人吗?
Take that, mother!
去你的傻叉!
I'm alive!
我还活着!
Got you!
你完蛋了！
He's this way.
这边
What the hell was I so happy about?
我高兴个鬼啊?
I had the dead body of a wanted felon on my hands,
一个重犯的尸体躺在我面前
which meant an investigation
警♥察♥肯定会调查我
by smarter cops who would know I wasn't FBI.
而且是聪明的警♥察♥ 他们会发现我不是FBI
Holy crap.
我了个去
You killed him?
你杀了他?
What happened?
发生了什么?
I'll tell you what happened.
你们问我发生了什么那我告诉你们
You guys abandoned an unarmed federal agent
你们竟敢执行任务过程中丢下
in the middle of an operation.
手无寸铁的联邦探员
I had to wrestle his gun away and shoot him.
害我得奋力夺枪杀了他
Whoa, that is badass.
那真是棒极了
I should have your badges for this.
我要没收你们的徽章
Hey, wasn't our fault. He slashed our tires.
这又不是我们的错他割了我们的车胎
Did the big, bad bully take your lunch money too?
你们的午餐费也被这个混♥蛋♥偷走了吗?
You know what? Badges aren't enough.
你知道嘛? 我不仅要拿走徽章
I should bring you up on criminal charges.
我还要将你们告上刑事法庭
Come on, man, don't do that.
拜托老兄别这样
Damien's dead. You're okay.
达米安死了你又没事
Can't you just leave us out of your report?
你能别把我们写进报告吗?
Hell no.
绝逼不行
Hell no, you almost got me killed.
决不你们差点害死我
Although...
不过呢...
I like "Although."
我喜欢听”不过呢”
If I don't file a report,
如果我不递交报告
nobody knows Damien's dead.
没人知道达米安死了
Then I can stay undercover and go after his boss.
这样我就可以继续当卧底找到他的大佬
Exactly.
没错
Why waste that chance to report
为什么因为报告我们小小的失误
a minor screw-up on our part?
而要浪费这个机会?
All right.
也是
But so help me God,
但是老天保佑
if either of you
如果你们中任何一个
tells anyone
把我或是这次行动
about me or this operation
告诉任何人
I will hunt you down
我永远都不会放过你们
and make you wish you were this guy.
让你们求生不得求死不能
Do I make myself clear?
听清楚了吗?
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.
听得非常清楚听清了
Good.
很好
Now help me bury this scumbag.
现在帮我埋了他
Or would you rather go to jail?
还是你们想蹲监狱?
Ready?
准备好了吗?
Two questions kept running through my head.
我一直在想两个问题
Who the hell saved me?
到底是谁救了我?
And why?
为什么要救我?
Come in.
请进
Hey, you. Hey.
嘿嘿
How you doing?
你还好吗?
We've all been a little worried about you around here the past couple days.
最近我们有点担心你
Yeah, I've-- had some things on my mind.
没事只是有些心事
You know, pastor crap.
你知道的牧师那些事嘛
But that's all dead and buried.
不过都过去啦
Well, good, 'cause, you know, we need you around here.
好吧你知道的我们都需要你
Come on, council meeting's about to start.
走吧会议要开始了
Hey, Dora. Mmhmm?
朵拉嗯哼?
You ever get the feeling that
你有没有那种感觉
someone's watching out for you?
有人一直在保护你?
You mean like a guardian angel?
你是指像守护天使吗?
Yeah, but not like the fairy-tale kind
差不多不过不是神话那种有翅膀穿尿布的
with wings and diapers, like real.
而是现实中存在的
I think that guardian angels can be real people.
我觉得守护天使就存在于现实中啊
I mean, who knows? Maybe you're mine, and
谁知道呢? 也许你就是我的天使
I'm yours. Mm?
或者我是你的天使?
Turning to financial news...
接下来是财经方面...
Even with Damien dead,
即使达米安死了
I couldn't help thinking this wasn't over.
但我觉得事情还没结束
Due to attrition, repairs, and settlements from the youth camping trip...
由于青少年野营的损耗费用修理费和安置费
They were lost for one night.
他们只是丢了一晚而已
We are looking at a serious budget shortfall.
我们正面临资♥金♥短♥缺♥的问题
Which brings us to a possible solution.
这就让我们想到一个可行的解决方案
Mrs. Esther Strumble,
埃斯特·斯特朗普夫人
84, widowed, no heirs,
84岁寡居没有孩子
and in very poor health.
身体很不好
Pastor, we need you to
牧师我们需要
get her to donate her estate to our church.
你去劝说她把房♥产捐给我们教堂
Me?
我?
What--why me?
额...为什么是我?
Because, uh, it's your duty.
因为额这是你的职责
But then also, when you applied for the job,
而且你面试时说
you said that getting bequests was one of your strong points.
你擅长说服他人捐遗产
Exactly.
没错
Glad you remembered.
谢谢你还记得
Well, here is her dossier.
这是她的档案
Uh, Mrs. Strumble is expecting you
斯特朗普夫人和你有会面
at 2:00.
就在下午两点
I should go upstairs and study this.
我最好赶快上楼研究一下这些资料
AKA whack off and nap.
其实是溜走打个盹
You know, the whole reason I looked past his
你造我之所以不在意他那个情况
condition was that you said he was a great fundraiser.
只因为你说过他是个很好的筹款人
Uh--"Condition?"
怎么说呢 “情况”?
All right--"Choice."
好吧我指－－”取向”
Our church needs that money.
我们的教会需要那笔钱
And--and if he fails,
如果他没募到钱
we'll all know who to blame.
我们都知道该责怪谁
I am exhausted.
我腿都要站不直了
Dave kept me up all night, if you know what I'm saying.
戴夫一整晚都没让我消停如果你懂我说的意思的话
Yeah.
当然懂
Dave's a blanket hog.
他睡觉抢被子呗
Oh, I hate that.
我最讨厌那样的了
It's like, "Hello, there is two of us here."
真想说 “喂喂这儿还有个大活人呢”
So we tell the captain
我们接下来这样办告诉队长
Barlow turned out to be a suicide.
巴罗实际上是自杀
Not a word about Damien. Right.
然后闭口不提达米安好的
And I just say I got these at an outlet mall.
然后我就说我在奥特莱斯弄成这样的
Where'd you You know where I got them.
你在哪儿... 你知道这些泥哪里来的
My God-- there's that cute cop
我的天...那个就是我和你提起的
I was telling you about.
秒到我的警♥察♥
Oh, he is cute.
哦他是挺秀色可餐的
You should ask him out.
你应该约他出来
You know what? I think I will.
你猜怎么着? 我要去钓他
Hey.
嗨
Dora, right?
朵拉是么?