冒牌牧师（2015）

What? What? What?
什么? 怎么了？
What, is it your lady time?
什么意思? 是大姨妈来了?
Oh, that damn moon!
哦 这该死的月亮!
No, it's not that.
不 不是这个
It's just ever since you've shown me the light
只是 只是自从你让我看到光明
and introduced me to the church,
把我介绍给教会
I want to respect that.
我想对他们尊重点
What do you mean?
你是什么意思?
Alden, I love you.
奥尔登 我爱你
But I don't think we should have relations
但我认为在结婚之前
before we get married.
我们不应该发♥生♥关♥系♥
You love me?
你爱我?
Yeah.
是的
As if failing to save Austin wasn't bad enough,
没能把奥斯丁救出来还不是最惨的
now I had to give him the news.
现在我还得告诉他这个消息
When you gave the supervising judge my letter,
当你把我的信给监管法官时候
what did he say?
他说了什么?
Uh, he was very impressed.
呃 他觉得很不错
He's gonna give it serious consideration.
他会严肃考虑此事的
He said that?
他是这样说的?
Well, not out loud.
好吧 没有大声说出口而已
Hey, what's going on?
嘿 这是怎么了?
They're taking me to Murdock.
他们准备带我去默多克
Come on, Landecker, can't you just get my kid out?
拜托了 兰德克尔 难道就不能放了那个孩子吗?
They'll eat him alive in Murdock.
他们会在默多克把他生吞活剥的
Sorry, he's gonna have to sit tight
对不起了 在我们搞定法官之前
until we nail the judge.
他只能呆在那儿
You of all people know these ops take time.
你比别人更应该知道 这种事很耗时间
I gotta go.
我得走了
Pastor.
牧师
We have some big news to share.
我们有个大消息要宣布
Show him, honeybunch.
给他看看 亲爱的
We're engaged. Eeh!
我们订婚了 耶!
Holy s--Schmidt.
真"屎"密特
That's--that's fast.
这真 真快
Well, Reverend, when you know something is right,
嘿嘿 牧师 当你知道某些事是对的
why wait, huh?
为什么还拖着 是吧?
Now I'm gonna go get us a latte to celebrate,
现在我去给我们拿杯拿铁来庆祝一下
one with a little heart in the foam.
要杯泡沫上有个小爱心的
You are so adorable.
你太贴心了
This is all one big con, isn't it?
这是个大骗局 是吧?
No, I'm madly in love with him
当然不 我疯狂地爱上他了
because he's so incredibly charming.
他简直是迷死人了
Jesus, Ashlee.
天呐 阿什莉
I could see taking Schmidt for a few bucks, but marriage?
我能理解从施密特那挖点钱 但结婚?
Why should I keep sleeping with guys like you
如果我可以和他结婚有个安稳的家
when I can marry him and be set for life?
为什么要继续和像你这样的男人上♥床♥?
Guys like me? You mean big downstairs?
像我这样的人?你是说下面很大么?
What kinda funhouse mirror have you been looking in?
请问你照的是哪面哈哈镜啊?
Hey, what makes you think I'll let you do this to Schmidt?
嘿 你凭什么以为我会让你对施密特做这样的事?
He's one of my favorite 300 or 400 congregants.
他是我最喜欢的3 400个教会参与者之一
You're not gonna say a word.
你会保持沉默的
Yeah, give me one good reason why not.
是么 给我一个沉默的理由先
Because it'd be a real shame if people found out
因为如果大家知道他们最爱的基佬牧师
their favorite gay pastor likes banging hookers in the woods
喜欢在树林里招♥妓♥ 这就很尴尬了
and buying fake passports
还有买♥♥假护照
and stealing watches and fencing--
偷手表和冒犯-
I said one.
我说的是一个
The order is in.
咖啡在做了
Now, until I make the formal announcement,
现在 在我发正式宣布消息前
not a word of this to anyone, huh?
不要和任何人说 知道吗?
Oh, don't worry.
别担心 不会的
I wouldn't know what word to use anyway.
反正我也不知道怎么说
Well, mum.
好吧 嗯
Excuse me, kids.
失陪了 是孩子
Alexa, what's up?
阿莉克莎 有事吗?
Just so you know, Dora found a blonde hair in your bed.
你知道吗 朵拉在你床上发现了金色头发
She was just here, trying to match it to mine.
她刚在这 还想拿它和我的对比
Damn. Did you deny?
妈的 你否认了吗?
Well, yeah, but I don't think she's buying it.
有啊 但我不认为她信我了
Maybe we should just come clean.
也许我们可以实话实说
No. We can't tell the truth.
不 我们不能说实话
That's not our thing.
咱们可不是被抓包就说实话的人啊
Okay, here's what I want you to do.
好吧 你照我说的做
Okay.
好
Judge.
法官
Is there somewhere we can speak privately?
能找个地私聊吗?
I gave some thought to what you said in my chambers.
我想了想你在我办公室说的那些话
I believe we think alike
我相信在这些年轻的
when it comes to these young miscreants.
小混♥蛋♥的问题上我们想的都一样
Right, but first let's talk about these lowlife kids.
是的 但首先我们得先谈谈这些底层的孩子
And how we're gonna get 'em off the streets
我们如何把他们从街上赶到
and into jail.
监狱中
As many as you can send me,
能送多少送多少
Murdock has room for them.
默多克都有他们的房♥间
Is there a problem?
有什么问题吗?
Well...
呃...
it's just that so much of a pastor's day
只是做牧师 大部分时间
is spent fundraising.
都用来筹款
That doesn't leave much time for helping out law enforcement.
我没那么多时间来帮忙执法
I see.
明白
What if my associates at Murdock Correctional
如果我在默多克劳♥改♥中心的同事
were to provide you with a $1,000 per head finder's fee?
给你每人1千美金的人头费呢?
A thousand dollars?
1千美金?
These are kids we're talking about here.
我们在讨论的可是孩子啊
Aren't their lives worth at least two grand to me?
难道他们的命还不值2千刀吗?
I'll give you $1,200.
给你1千2
Deal.
成交
I'll be in touch.
保持联♥系♥
Judge.
法官
Did you hear that? He offered me cash for kids.
你听到了吗? 他给钱我去抓孩子
Boo-ya!
抓个现行!
Oh, shit.
妈蛋
I'd screwed up again,
我又搞砸了
but there was nothing I could do till tomorrow.
但是直到明天之前我什么都做不了
Tonight, I had another problem to solve.
今晚 我有另一个问题要解决
Good night, Buddy.
晚安 巴迪
Dora, could you come up here, please?
朵拉 你能上来一下吗?
Come in.
进来吧
Oh, my, what's all this?
我的天 这都是些什么玩意?
Oh, just some stuff I've been collecting for homeless women.
只是一些我为无家可归的女人准备的东西
I'm just not sure it's sexy enough.
不过我不太确定够不够性感
Excuse me? Why would it matter
你在逗我? 和性感有什么关...
Think about it, Dora. Okay.
朵拉你想想 好
Have you ever seen a really sexy homeless woman?
你见过穿着性感的无家可归的女人吗?
No.
没有
Everyone knows the hotter you look,
大家都知道 你看起来越性感
the more likely you are to have a home.
你有地方住的可能性就越大
So the quicker I get these ladies looking great
所以如果我能更快的让那些女人看起来很好看
and feeling good about themselves,
而且自我感觉也好的话
the quicker they'll have a place to live.
她们就能更快找到住的地方
I just..I don't..I'm not so sure that it works that way.
我..我不..我不确定这行得通
Well, maybe it does, maybe it doesn't,
行不行得通
but don't we owe it to our homeless sisters to find out?
得让那些无家可归的女人自行体验不是吗?
Well, what about the homeless guys?
好吧 那无家可归的男人呢?
Well, a lot of them are drunks and wackos.
他们大部分都是醉鬼和疯子
There's only so much I can do.
我能做的就这么多了
Well, I may not always agree with your methods,
我可能不大认同你的方法
but it's good to know, as always,
但是一如既往 还是很高兴得知
your heart is in the right place.
你的心思在正道上