冒牌牧师（2015）

People kill themselves for lots of reasons.
人们自杀的原因各种各样
Me? I just have two.
对我来说 只有两个
All I need is one day. Hand to God.
我只要一天 对天发誓
I am getting a big inheritance tomorrow from my Uncle Doug.
我明天就会从一个道格叔叔那继承一大笔遗产
He made his money in tires. High-end radials,
他是做轮胎的 高端材质
not that cheap crap.
不是那种便宜的破烂货
Take his balls.
割了他的蛋蛋
Whoa, whoa.Can't we start with a pinky?
哇 悠着点 不能先从小指头开始么?
Guys, come on.
哥们 别这样
Oh, you a dead man, Buddy!
这下你死定了 巴迪!
One: I don't have long to live anyway.
第一个原因: 反正我也活不长了
Hey, LeeAnne, you know how you're always saying
嘿 莉安 你不是一直说我们
we should take a vacation? Mmhmm.
应该去度个假吗? 对啊
Let's go. Right now.
咱们去度假吧 就现在
Oh, God, what did you do this time?
天呐 你这回又做了什么?
Nothing. Look, I'll take you to Vegas.
没什么 听着 我要带你去拉斯维加斯
We'll sit by the pool. I'll take you to some shows.
我们可以坐在泳池边 我可以带你去看表演
Buddy.
巴迪
All right, look I'm in serious trouble.
好吧 确实 我真的惹上大♥麻♥烦了
There's some guys after me. We gotta leave town.
有一帮人在追杀我 我们得赶紧离开
How can you pull this crap on me now?
你怎么能在这节骨眼上捣乱?
You know that my mother is coming to visit.
你明知道我妈要来看我了
I'm sorry, baby. But we gotta go.
抱歉 宝贝 但是我们真的得赶紧离开
No. What?
不行 什么?
Buddy, I love you, but I can't live like this anymore.
巴迪 我爱你 但是我再也忍♥不了这样了
LeeAnne, it'll get better. I promise.
莉安 会好起来的 我保证
How many times have you said that?
这话你都说了多少遍了?
And it never does.
而情况从没有好起来过
I'm sorry.
抱歉
We're done.
我们分手吧
And two: I have nothing to live for.
第二个原因: 我没什么活下去的原因了
Stop!
别动!
Don't!
不要跳!
Whatever the problem is, it is not worth
不管什么问题 都不值得
killing yourself over.
你丢掉自己的命
How the fuck do you know?
你♥他♥妈♥怎么知道?
Wait, wait!
等等 等等!
I-I know about despair.
我知道绝望的感觉
A month ago I had nothing.
一个月前我一无所有
No job, no friends, or family to speak of.
没有工作 没有朋友 也没有家人可以倾诉
Now I am on my way to a new job in a new city.
而现在我正在去往一份新工作的路上 在一座新城市哦
Look, pal. I'm gonna jump anyway.
伙计 反正我都是会跳下去的
There's no reason to bore me to death.
你没必要在这把我无聊到死
The point is that it is never too late
我想说的是 救赎永远
for redemption.
不嫌晚
Have you thought about asking God for help?
你有没有想过向上帝求助?
I don't believe in God.
我不信上帝
I am sorry you feel that way, because God provides.
很遗憾你这样想 因为上帝会帮助我们
You just have to seize the opportunities that he gives you.
你只需抓住他给予你的机会
Yeah, well, maybe in my next life.
是吗 下辈子吧
Good luck on the new gig.
祝你那个新工作好运
No, no, please, please, please.
别这样 求你了 求你了
What do you care?
关你什么事?
You don't give a shit about me.
你TM才不在乎我
Yes, I do.
不 我在乎的
I'll prove it.
我证明给你看
Hey, what are you doing, man?
嘿 哥们 你干啥呢
I'm gonna come over there so we can
我也要跨到这边来 这样我们
both come back toge...
就可以一起回...
Oh, shit!
哦 我了个大槽!
Oh, God!
哦 上帝啊!
God provides. You just have to seize
上帝会帮助我们的 你只需抓住
the opportunities that he gives you.
他给予你的机会
Hello?
你好?
Jonathan?
乔纳森?
Hi, it's Dora.
嗨 我是朵拉
Oh, my gosh, it's so nice to finally hear your voice.
哦 天呐 终于听到你的声音了真棒
Just wondering where you are.
我就是想问问你到哪了
Uh, St. Vincent Bridge.
圣文森特大桥
Good, you're on schedule.
好的 很准时
What do you say I meet you at the house
我明天上午十点在房♥子那和你见面
tomorrow morning, 10 A.M.?
你觉得怎么样?
Why not?
没问题
What's that address again?
地址是什么来着?
My plan was to take over Jonathan Barlow's life
我的计划是先过几天乔纳森·巴罗的人生
for a few days till I figured out my next move.
直到我想出下一步应该怎么做
Or until I got caught.
或者到我被发现为止
Which could be a matter of seconds.
这有可能是分分钟的事
Well, hello, there.
你好呀
I'm Dora.
我是朵拉
Yeah, come on in.
快进来
You know, you're different than I pictured you.
你知道吗 你和我想象的不一样
Yeah, how's that?
是嘛 怎么个不一样?
I don't know. You're just...
说不上来 你就是...
You're more... rugged.
你本人更...粗犷结实
Thanks, I guess. Yeah.
我是应该说谢谢吧 恩
Nice place.
房♥子不错
Ahh, I'm so glad you like it.
很高兴你喜欢
We hope you enjoy living here for a long, long time.
我们希望你能喜欢住在这很久很久
Wait...this is mine?
等等...这房♥子是我的?
Yes, I specified in my emails that we would provide housing.
是啊 我在邮件中特别说明了我们会提供住宿
One of the perks of the job.
这个工作的好处之一
So tell me mor about this job.
那你再多跟我讲讲这份工作
Oh, I imagine it's pretty much like your last one.
我想应该和你上一份差不多
So, if you'll follow me.
接下来 请跟我来
In here is my office area.
这里是我的办公区
As your assistant, I am usually here from 9 to 5.
作为你的助理 我一般早九点到晚五点会在这里
But I have my own key, so you don't have to worry about me.
但是我自己有一套钥匙 所以你不用担心我
You like birds, huh?
你喜欢养鸟?
You know me already.
看来你已经了解我了
Listen, I don't mean to be too forward,
听我说 我不想太直接
but do you think that you could give me
但是你看能不能让我
a sneak preview of what you're gonna talk about on Sunday?
先看一点点你周日要讲的东西?
Talk about? In your sermon, Reverend.
要讲的? 你的布道 牧师
Jesus Christ. I assumed that,
耶稣基♥督♥ 这个是一定的了
but what aspect?
但是具体哪方面?
I think I'd rather leave it a surprise.
我觉得还是留个惊喜吧
A man of mystery.
谜一样的男人
I like it.
我喜欢
So, what do you say?
那么你觉得怎么样?
You ready to meet the church staff?
准备好去见教会人员了吗?
Ready as I'll ever be.
准备的前所未有的好啊
This is Alden Schmidt, he is our Church President.
这位是奥尔登·施密特 他是我们的教会主席
Alexa Cummings, she's the Treasurer.
亚莉克莎·康明斯 她是出纳
And Russell Kerry, he is our Secretary.
拉塞尔·凯瑞 他是我们的秘书
Uh, Reverend Barlow...
呃 巴罗牧师...
Oh, he prefers Jonathan.
哦 他更喜欢人们称他为乔纳森
Actually, you can just call me Buddy.
或者你可以直接叫我巴迪（亦有"哥们""伙计"之意）
It'll be easier for all of us to remember.
这样我们大家都好记
Well, um, as you may know, uh, Buddy,
正如你所知 呃 巴迪
we have spent the better part of a year
我们这一年花了很多时间
searching for Pastor Willis' replacement.
来找人接替威利牧师
So we're very excited that you're here.
所以我们很激动你来了
Super excited.
超级鸡动
Still, we need to talk about what happened in Florida.
不过 我们还是要谈谈在佛罗里达发生的事
What do you mean?
什么意思?
Well, the... the problem that you had
就是...你在上一个教会
with your last congregation.
出现的那个问题
We appreciate you being up-front with that.
我们很欣赏你能如此坦诚
Oh, yeah, well, honesty is the best policy,
哦 是呀 诚实是最重要的