冒牌牧师（2015）

Previously on "Impastor"...
"冒牌牧师"前情提要
It is time we showed the world we're a couple.
是时候我们在公开场合成双入对了
I brought you a Bible for your desk.
我给你带了本圣经放桌上
Now you look like a real pastor.
现在你看起来像个真正的牧师了
When you get your shot at revenge,
如果有报仇的机会
make the most of it.
牢牢把握住
I can't believe Austin would do such a thing.
我不敢相信奥斯丁会做出这种事来
I hereby sentence you to two years
我在此对你宣判
at Murdock Juvenile Detention Center.
在默多克青少年看守所劳♥教♥两年
Buddy!
巴迪!
Come with me. I know who you are.
和我走一趟吧 我知道你是谁
Okay, Barlow,
听着 巴罗
or whatever your real name is.
不管你真名是啥的兄弟
I'm Federal Agent Landecker.
我是联邦探员兰德克尔
'Sup?
你...好?
I'm the Director of the Pacific Northwest Division,
我是太平洋西北部的主管
and we don't have any record of an agent
据我所悉并没有任何关于在拉德纳
working undercover in Ladner.
进行的卧底行动的记录
Which is a real compliment to you.
说明你…隐藏得真好
It is?
是么?
When you national boys go U.C., you go deep.
做探员 要是去卧底 就要藏的彻底
Thanks.
谢谢夸奖
How do you know I'm undercover?
你怎么知道我是卧底的?
I'm not at liberty to say.
我无权透露
It was that cop, Hyde, right?
是那个条子 海德 是不是?
You are good.
你确实厉害
That's why they call me "The Cobra."
这就是为什么人送我外号♥”眼镜蛇"
I'm reaching out to you because we've been trying
我来找你是因为我们想
to make a corruption case against Judge Bell,
对法官贝尔提出腐♥败♥诉讼
and I need your help.
我需要你的帮助
Oh, I don't know.
哦 这个可不好说
HQ wants me to focus on Operation Holy Ghost.
总部希望我专心于"圣灵"行动
Well, listen, listen.
好的 听着 听着
You're in the perfect place to work the judge.
你现在的情况对于扳倒法官最有利
He's been getting kickbacks
一直以来 他每送一个孩子去
from a private juvenile detention prison
那个私人青少年拘留所
for every kid he sends in there.
他就拿一点回扣
We just haven't been able to prove it yet.
我们只是还没掌握证据
If I do this job,
如果我♥干♥这个
my kid goes free?
那个孩子就能被释放?
All the railroaded kids would go free.
所有无辜被拘留的孩子都会被释放
Okay.
好的
Cobra's in. Great.
眼镜蛇入伙 很好
Well, I'm the S.A.C. In this rent-a-goon op.
对了 我是这次借调行动中的特别主管探员(并不知道SAC是什么鬼)
U.A.C.B.
特调主管(UACB也是我们编的)
Are we clear?
明白了么?
Couldn't be clearer.
不能再明白了(才怪...)
When are you guys gonna get me out of here?
你们什么时候把我救出去?
Well, I talked to a lawyer.
额 我和一个律师谈过了
He said it would cost $15,000
他要1万5美元的律师费
and could take up to two years.
并且有可能要花上两年
Two years?
两年?
Guys, they're sending me to Murdock.
朋友们 他们要把我送去默多克
Do you know what they do to kids like me in Murdock?
你们知道在默多克他们怎么对待像我这样的孩子么?
Is there anything I can get you
有什么你现在急需的
that you need right now?
我能给你弄到的东西么?
A soda? Maybe some chips?
苏打水?再来点薯片?
Yeah, because some snacks are gonna make everything wonderful.
对哦 吃点零食能让所有事情都好起来呵呵
I'm on it.
我这就去
I saw a vending machine down the hallway.
我刚刚看到走廊头有台售货机
Listen, Austin,
听着 奥斯丁
I'm working on something
我正在找路子
that might get you out of here real soon.
也许很快就能让你从这里出去
I'm gonna take care of you.
我会照顾好你的
You know how many times I've heard that in my life?
你知道这句话我已经听了多少遍了么?
Well, I'm here already.
好吧 反正我已经来了
Oh, my.
哦 我天
Oh, my!
哦 我的妈!
I tell you, it's amazing
你说说 这是多么神奇的一件事啊!
how you got songs from different artists
你能从同一个光盘里
all on the same compact disc.
听到来自那么多不同歌♥手的曲子
It's like an all-star game for my ears.
就好像是为我耳朵准备的听觉盛宴
Oh, hello.
哦 你们好
Yeah, Ashlee, this is--
耶 阿什莉 这是...
Oh, thank you.
哦 谢谢
This is Dora, the girl that I trounced
这是朵拉 就是那个在会长选举会上
in the presidential election after she insulted me.
侮辱我后 大败给我的女孩
Oh, right! Alden told me about that.
哦 是的! 奥尔登和我提及过
From the way he described you,
从他描述你的话语中
I had no idea you were so pretty.
我完全不知道你是这么地漂亮
Well...thank you.
额...谢谢你
So you're dating Alden.
所以你是和奥尔登在约会
Why?
为什么呢?
Well, why wouldn't I?
嗯 为什么不呢?
He's the sweetest, most charming man I've ever met.
他是我遇见过的最暖心 最有魅力的男人了
And she's met lots of men.
她可是见过很多男人哦
He made me believe in myself.
他让我相信自己
And even more, he made me believe in the Lord.
他甚至让我开始相信主了
Yeah, Ashlee is becoming a member of our church.
对的 阿什莉准备成为我们教会的一员
Oh, wonderful. You don't bowl, do you?
哦 真棒 你不会碰巧爱打保龄球的吧?
It's just that our ladies' team has been down a gal
我们女子队自从路易丝·波尔卡
ever since Louise Polk had her foot taken.
截肢后就一直缺个人
Sounds...fun.
听起来...蛮有趣
Count me in.
算我一个
Yeah, we-we really should be going,
耶 我们...我们真应该走了
uh, uh, sugarplum.
额 额 小糖果我们走吧
Don't worry, Dora. You'll find love too someday.
别担心 朵拉 你也会有天找到真爱的
Maybe.
可能吧
Buddy.
巴迪
There's something you don't know about me.
关于我的有些事情 我没有告诉你
Happy to keep it that way.
很高兴你没告诉我
In my 20s, after my career
我二十多岁时 在我的游轮魔术师
as a cruise ship magician didn't pan out,
职业梦想泡汤后
I dreamed of being a lawyer.
我梦想成为一名律师
But unfortunately, I couldn't pass the bar.
但不幸地是 我没能通过律法考试(绕过酒吧)
Ah, who can?
哈 谁能呢?
See those neon beer signs, you gotta go in.
看看那些霓虹灯啤酒标志 多么有诱惑力 咋能不进去
But I did write a brief letter to the supervising judge
但我确实给监管法官写了封简要的信
arguing how grossly unfair Judge Bell's sentence was,
来表达法官比尔的判决多么地草率不公
vis-a-vis Austin's petty vandalism.
关于奥斯丁的小小的破坏公物
I couldn't have Russell's letter
我不能在我能逮住法官比尔之前
spooking Judge Bell before I could bust him.
让拉塞尔的信打草惊蛇了
I'm off to mail it right now.
我马上就去寄了它
If only I had...A stamp.
如果我有...一张邮票
You know what, let's get this moving even faster.
要不这样吧 我们加快点进程
I'll take it.
我来送
I'm going down to the courthouse anyway.
反正我正好也要去法♥院♥
Another matter.
为了其他事儿
Wait, if you're parking at a meter,
等下 如果你需要把停在计时器边
you'll need a quarter.
那你就需要有点钱
This is the Royal Caribbean all over again.
这简直是皇家加勒比游轮上失败表演的重现
You will never guess what I found in Buddy's bed.
你一定猜不到我在巴迪的床上发现了啥
This.
这个
How do you think it got there?
你觉得这怎么跑到他那儿的?
How do you think it got there?
你怎么想的呢?
I don't know.
我不知道
I mean, do you think that Buddy
我的意思是 你觉得有没有可能
could be interested in women?
巴迪对女人感兴趣?
Uh, well, you know him better than me.
额 这个 你比我更了解他
Yeah.
那倒是