老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother S06E22
Part 2
Oct. 23, 2020, 9:48 a.m.
I had to rush down as soon as I got your results.
我一领到你的报告就火速赶来了
I'm sorry,
很抱歉
but your crabs have super-herpes.
你的阴虱里有超级大疱疹
Oh, boy.
有没有搞错
Look who's back.
看谁又绕回来了
Look, Lily, I think this girl wants our seats.
莉莉 我觉得这个女孩想坐我们的位子
Should we leave... or stay here
我们是不是该走了 还是留在这里
Lionel Richie style-- "All Night Long"?
用莱昂纳尔·里奇风格 "泡一整夜"
Excuse me waitress, I'll have a mojito!
服务员 麻烦给我来杯鸡尾酒
And you'll have a no-seat-ho.
而你只能吃无座果
Ah, yes...
没错
the sweet, smoky taste of victory.
这就是香甜呛人的胜利滋味
Are you sure it doesn't taste like anything else?
你确定没有其它味道了吗
That's it!
我受够了
Kent! Kent!
肯特 肯特
Oh, God! Ow...
天啊
Why would you do that to your own jacket?!
你连自己的西服都不放过
That's what you get, you traitor!
那就是你的下场 你这个叛徒
Oh, really? Really? Yeah. Really.
动真格的吗 没错 半点不假
Really. That... what...
那就来真的 那...什么...
Okay, enough! You guys are out of here.
好了 够了 你们给我出去
Ejected!
罚出场咯
I meant all of you.
你们也包括在内
You're all banned from the bar. Out!
你们以后不能踏进这个酒吧半步 出去
Carl!
卡尔
Oh... This has nothing to do with us.
这事可与我们无关
You're totally ridiculous.
你真是不可理喻
Don't look, baby.
别看了 亲爱的
Just don't look. Come on.
别看了 我们走
This stupid feud isn't going to end until Marshall and Barney
这场愚蠢的你争我斗非得等到
finally talk about their feelings, cry,
马修和巴尼互相交心 痛哭流涕
and then hug it out like they do on Oprah.
就像在奥普拉节目上那样冰释前嫌
Man, what are we going to do without her?
天啊 没了她我们该怎么办
Wait, you know what,
等等 我有办法
these guys are not going to get all mushy sober.
男人们清醒的时候不会多愁善感
We need to get these bitches drunk.
我们得把这些烦人精灌醉
Yes, but the right kind of drunk.
没错 但得恰到好处
Uh... we should go with something mellow.
我们得弄些酒劲小些的
Maybe red wine?
要不来点干红
Oh, I don't know.
我看不咋地
Red wine has kind of an odd effect on Barney.
干红对巴尼有奇效
He reaches a point of sad clarity.
他会突然阴郁起来
Ten, nine, eight...
十 九 八...
I'm a B-plus.
我是良好
My whole life, I was hoping to be an A,
我一生都梦想成为优秀
and I'm a B-plus.
而我现在只是良好
And I'm okay with that.
我却听之任之
Happy New Year!
新年快乐
If we want them to open up,
如果我们想让他们敞开心扉
I say we go straight-up gin.
不如试试不加冰的杜松子酒
Oh... last time Marshall got gin-drunk
上次马修喝杜松子酒喝醉
was at that douchey bar Barney likes to go to.
就在巴尼爱去的那家人♥渣♥酒吧
Marshall almost got in a fight that night.
那晚那修差点和人打了起来
Look at this meatball.
瞧瞧那个肌肉男
He's headed right towards me, showing me no respect.
他正冲我走来 对我不屑一顾
Well, if he wants to play chicken,
如果他想挑衅
this rooster ain't backing down!
我这位好斗的勇士不会怯步
Oh. Mirror.
原来是面镜子
How about martinis?
马提尼怎么样
Absolutely not.
千万别
I'm not going anywhere near you and a martini.
只要你手握马提尼 我就绝不会靠近半步
Why not?
为什么
You know what would be stupid?
你知道怎么样叫蠢吗
If we made out.
如果我们亲热
That would be so stupid.
那才叫蠢
Hey, I dare you guys to dare us to make out.
我敢说你们俩想看我们俩敢不敢亲热
Every time.
屡试不爽
I only say that because it would be so stupid if we did.
我这么说是因为我们真这么做才叫蠢
So stupid...
蠢极了
Oh, yeah? Well... what about you and absinthe?
这算什么 怎么不想想你喝苦艾酒的样子
I don't know. We could have water, soda, purple stuff...
不清楚 我们可能喝了白水 苏打 果汁
We're a dream a baby's having.
我们活在宝宝的梦中
We're a dream a baby's having.
我们活在宝宝的梦中
I keep telling you, that didn't happen.
我告诉你多少遍了 这是幻觉
It happened, and it changed me.
这不是幻觉 它改变了我
How about daiquiris?
代基里酒怎么样
Maybe. When Marshall has daiquiris...
可以试试 有次马修喝了代基里酒
he gets really into how beautiful he is.
他深深被自己的魅力吸引住了
Hey. I dare you guys to dare us to make out.
我敢说你们想看我们敢不敢亲热
Hey, Marsh, you know that's another mirror, right?
马修 你应该知道这是另一面镜子吧
Peppermint schnapps?
薄荷烈酒呢
No. Peppermint schnapps
不行 薄荷烈酒
turns Barney into Richard Dawson.
会把巴尼变成理查德·道森
Who? The crazy old host of Family Feud,
谁 主持《家庭纷争》的疯老头子
who greeted women by kissing them on the mouth.
他和女人打招呼的方式是亲吻嘴唇
Hey there, darling.
你好啊 亲爱的
How you doing?
你好吗
Ah, is this your sister?
这是你姐妹吗
Beautiful.
真美
Hey, where are our chicken wings?
我们的鸡翅呢
Show me chicken wings!
来份鸡翅
Good order, Ted! Good order!
这样点单不错 泰德 绝了
Okay, I'm gonna go pick up Zoey, then we're off.
好了 我该去接苏伊了 然后就走了
See you Sunday. Oh, wait, Ted.
周日见 等等 泰德
Do you have a specific reaction to any kind of alcohol?
你有没有对某种酒有特殊反应
Bourbon.
波本威士忌
When I drink bourbon...
只要一喝波本酒
I get weirdly good at beatboxing.
我的口♥技♥就会出奇的好
Peace, I'm out.
结束 闪人
Yes! Yes!
太棒了
Yeah, Ted, I hate to tell you,
泰德 我很不想告诉你
but the bourbon only makes it sound good to you.
但波本酒只会让你自我感觉良好而已
Peace. I'm out.
结束 闪人
You had to take that away from me, didn't you?
就连这点幻想你都不留给我
Well, enjoy Martha's Vineyard.
祝玛莎葡萄园之旅愉快
Hopefully by the time you get back,
希望你回来的时候
we'll be allowed back into MacLaren's.
我们能被允许进入麦克劳伦酒吧
What do you mean?
你在说什么
Barney and Marshall's feud got us banned from the bar.
因为巴尼和马修的矛盾 我们被禁止进入酒吧了
We lost our booth.
卡座也被占了
Stop.
伤不起啊
Man, how did things get so screwed up?
事情怎么变得如此糟糕
Of course I knew the answer to that.
我当然知道原因是什么
I was dating her.
我正和问题所在交往
But I wasn't about to ruin our first big romantic weekend away
但我不能提及这个话题
by bringing up the one topic
因为不在我们的讨论范围/i>
we agreed was completely off-limits.
而且还会毁掉我们第一次浪漫周末旅程
You and The Arcadian are ruining my life! What?
你和阿卡迪亚把我的生活弄得一团糟 什么
I thought we weren't talking about...
我以为我们会不提这个
We're talking about this.
这个一定得谈
Look, I can handle you trying to prevent me
你万般阻挠我实现我的人生梦想
from fulfilling a life-long dream.
这个我能承受得了
That's just being in a relationship.
因为我们在谈恋爱
But now? You turn my best friend against me?
而如今 你让我最好的朋友也和我做对
Marshall made his own choice. Why aren't you mad at him?
这是马修自己的选择 你为什么不生他的气
Because he's going through a lot right now.
因为他这段时间遭受太多了
He, he's looking for something to believe in,
他在寻找能支撑他信念的东西
and you took advantage of that.
而你却利用了这一点
You're, you're just like those Internet swindlers
你就像 你就像那些网络骗子
who tricked him into paying 300 bucks
骗他花三百刀
老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother
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