老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother S06E05
Part 3
Oct. 23, 2020, 9:43 a.m.
So I walk into my boss's office
于是 我就走进老板的办公室
and suddenly I realize,
然后突然意识到
"Holy crap, I'm about to quit""
"我的天啊 我要辞职了"
Small penis.
小♥弟♥弟♥
You have a small penis.
你弟弟很小哦
Oh, that super interesting, but you have a small penis.
你真幽默啊 但你弟弟太小了
Damn it, Marshall!
靠 马修
Okay. Okay. Think of any two words
淡定 除了"小"和"弟弟"
other than "small" or "penis."
随便想两个别的词
Got it: small penis.
想到了 "小♥弟♥弟♥"
Damn it!
妈的
Yeah, I-I think it is so cool that you started your own law firm.
你能成立自己的律师事务所 是很了不起的事
Well, right now it's a pretty small practice.
没什么啦 现在规模还很小
Hey, hey.
别谦虚
I bet it's not that small.
肯定没那么小
Bro, it's...
老兄
pretty small.
确实非常小
Yeah, but, uh, you know what they say.
但是 人们常说
The important thing is-is how you use it, you know?
关键是你怎么使用它 对吧
"The motion of the ocean." That whole thing.
像《海的韵律》那个故事一样
He said it's small, Marshall, and everybody's fine with that.
他说小就小吧 马修 大家没意见
Let's just move on.
我们谈谈别的
I'm just saying that I bet it's bigger than he thinks.
我的意思是 我打赌肯定比他认为的要大些
And thick.
更厚实
Nah. Everything about it is tiny.
没有 它小到骨子里了
The office is tiny. The conference room is tiny.
办公的地方小 两侧的会议室更小
Plus, I got a very small staff.
而且 我的员工也少得可怜[我的精♥子♥也少得可怜]
Let's order!
我们点菜吧
As I was mustering the courage to call Zoey
就在我鼓起勇气打算"打电♥话♥给苏伊
and tell her my true identity...
并且告诉她我的真实身份"
Zoey...
苏伊
I'm Batman.
我是蝙蝠侠
Hmm. That'd be cool.
能这么讲该多好
...the strangest thing happened.
最诡异的事情发生了
I need your help.
我需要你的帮助
Just to warn you.
先提醒你
What I'm about to show you is not a hundred percent legal.
我等会要给你看的有可能违法
Wasn't expecting bunnies.
真没想到会是兔子
I stole them, Ted.
我偷来的 泰德
My animal rights group liberated these guys
我的保护动物权利小组
from an evil cosmetics company.
从一个邪恶的化妆品公♥司♥解救了这些兔子
And I figured, "Hey, Ted's a vet.
我想 正好泰德是个兽医
He can check them out and make sure they're okay."
他可以给它们检查一下 保证它们的健康
Absolutely. Just let me run up and get my bag of vet supplies.
当然 我先上去拿来我的兽医专用工具包
Okay.
好的
Why would I say that?
我为什么要说我是兽医呢
Well, I know what I'm getting.
我想好要点什么了
The porterhouse.
上等腰肉牛排
I've had it here before.
我以前在这家店吃过
It is like this. It's huge.
肉有这么厚
Well, spare no expense, buddy.
别省钱 老兄
Dinner is on me, and-and get dessert.
这顿我请 再点些甜点
Maybe this molten chocolate lava cake?
这个巧克力熔岩蛋糕怎么样
I just want you to be happy.
只要你高兴就好
Thanks, man.
谢谢 老兄
Next time, it is on me.
下顿我请
Excuse me. I'll be right back.
不好意思 我去下洗手间
We'll just be here.
我们在这儿等你
You're great.
你是个好人
Ah. Thanks, bro.
谢谢夸奖 老兄
It's, uh.... it's going on a while.
抱的时间有点长了
I know.
我知道
Thanks.
谢谢
Damn, baby, be cool!
靠 宝贝 你淡定点
You're acting like he has six months to live.
你搞得好像他就剩6个月的命了
It's your fault!
都是你们的错
You ladies and your salty sailor talk!
你们俩女人和你们喝酒闲聊的对话
Oh, come on! What about you men and your locker room talk?
拜托 你们男人和你们更衣室里的对话呢
Locker room talk.
更衣室对话
Do you want to know what it's like in a men's locker room?
你真想知道在男更衣室里是什么状况吗
It's just a bunch of uncomfortable dudes
一帮不自在的大老爷们
trying to get out of there as quickly as possible.
想赶紧穿衣服走人
And one old guy just letting it all hang out.
还有一个老头子 赤♥裸♥裸地站那遛鸟
Are you suggesting that guys don't talk about sex?
难道你是说男人从来不谈论自己的性生活吗
Yes, we do, but you know what we say?
不 我们谈 但我们怎么说的你知道吗
"I hit that."
哥搞了个女的
"I got some."
哥来了次双飞
"I tapped it."
哥玩了把群♥交♥
"I squeezed those."
哥抓了把咪♥咪♥
Discreet and efficient.
简洁到位
Not to mention classy.
用词还很老套
Thank God that I'm not dating.
幸好我现在不用约会了
If I thought that Lily talked in that much detail
如果我一想到莉莉大谈特谈
about our sex life, I'd probably kill myself.
我们的性生活的话 我会恨不得自杀的
Oh, no.
不会吧
What did you tell her?
你告诉她什么了
I told her nothing.
我什么都没说
We don't talk about you!
我们从来不谈论你
Are you sure?
确定一定以及肯定吗
Yeah. That argument has no traction whatsoever.
对 反正我们从来没谈过你的摩擦力理论
You just broke in and stole these guys?
你就这么破门而入 去偷那些家伙的东西吗
Aren't you worried about getting arrested?
难道你都不担心被抓的吗
Nah. I've been arrested lots of times.
没事 我都被抓过好多次了
Chinese Democracy.
《民♥主♥大中国》是张烂专辑
You're a little bit crazy.
你的行为还真有点疯狂
Well, I'm usually crazy for a good cause.
我都是因为做好事才会变得疯狂
I can't just sit by while voiceless people or animals,
当不会说话的人或动物 甚至大楼
or even buildings get screwed over.
面临危险时 我不能袖手旁观
I'm certainly not going to just sit by
当然 国家巨人银行想把阿卡迪亚酒店
while GNB turns The Arcadian into a soulless metal box.
变成一座没有灵魂的金属盒子 我也绝不袖手旁观
Yeah. Yeah.
对 你说得对
Although I hear there's a lovely rooftop patio
尽管我听说会设计一个可爱的顶楼露台
where folks can enjoy a nice bag lunch, so...
让人们可以好好享受自备的午餐
Ted, I will find the bastards at GNB responsible for this,
泰德 我会揪出那个巨人银行的混♥蛋♥负责人
and I promise you,
我向你保证
I will take them down.
我一定会 打垮他们
Cuckoo!
活该了吧
Ted, this woman is an anarchist,
泰德 这个女人是个扰乱分子
a sociopath, a lunatic,
反♥社♥会♥分子 极端分子
and for the love of God, boobs?!
还有看着上帝的份上 咪♥咪♥如何
Solid C-cup, perky bounce.
坚挺的C杯 来回乱蹦
Momentary grudging respect.
短暂勉强地致敬一下
Zoey does what she believes is right,
只要苏伊相信是对的 她就会坚定不移地去做
and I want to do the same thing.
我也想成为她那样的人
We have to find a new site for this building.
我们得给大楼重新选址
Ted, that is never gonna happen.
泰德 这不可能
Well, I can't tear down The Arcadian.
我不能拆毁阿卡迪亚酒店
I'm sorry, but I'm off the project.
抱歉 我不干了
Hey, guys!
伙计们
I appreciate the great turnout,
我很感谢到场人数能这么多
but just so we're all on the same page,
鉴于我们的意见一致
this is not a rally to legalize marijuana.
但这真的不是让大♥麻♥合法化的游♥行♥
Oh, bummer!
你个无赖
Hey.
嗨
Hey, Ted.
嗨 泰德
I'm so glad you came.
我真高兴你能来
Well, you really got to me the other night.
那天晚上 你的话让我深受启发
I want to get involved with "Save The Arcadian."
我也想参与到"拯救阿卡迪亚"的行动中
Great. I'll grab you a picket sign.
很好 我给你拿个标牌吧
Do you want "GNB puts the douche in fiduciary..""
你是要"巨人银行轻信于一个混球"
老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother
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