老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother S06E11
Part 2
Oct. 23, 2020, 9:45 a.m.
"I love your mom"
"我爱你妈妈"
"I never fantasize about Barney when we're doing it"
"我跟你做♥爱♥的时候 从没臆想过巴尼"
Sound familiar, Pinocchio?
这话听起来很耳熟吧 木偶匹诺曹[撒谎鼻子会长长]
What's wrong with this shirt?
这件衬衫怎么不好了
Lily, ruling.
莉莉 你来裁决
Do I have to stop hanging out with Zoey?
我是不是不该再跟苏伊出去了
No, you just need to spend time
不 你只需要跟他们两口子
with her and The Captain together.
一起出去玩玩
If you're friends with the both of them,
如果你成为他们俩的朋友
then there's not a problem.
那就没问题了
Actually, I do have a standing invitation from The Captain
说真的 船长真的邀请过我
to go for a ride with them on his boat.
乘坐他的船 跟他们俩一起出海游玩
Great. So go make nice with Captain Creepy,
太好了 好好跟恐怖船长相处
and problem solved.
问题就解决了
The next night,
第二天晚上
Marshall and Robin went to dinner,
马修和罗宾去吃晚餐
just the two of them.
只有他们俩
Now historically,
他们聊到了
they had three solid conversation topics:
三个亘古不变的话题
cold weather...
寒冷的天气
December chill-- so great.
十二月很冷 太棒了
Totally.
没错
...sports...
体育
Did you catch
你看了
the game last night?
昨晚的比赛吗
Yeah. Nail-biter.
看了 太激烈了
...and cold weather sports.
以及冬季体育
You know what's fun? Mm.
你知道什么最有趣吗 什么
Is cold weather sports.
是冬季体育
They are fun.
是很有趣
They blew through them all
他们在开场的十六秒里
in the first 16 seconds.
就把这三个话题聊了个遍
Man, this is awkward.
天啊 太尴尬了
She's giving me nothing!
她跟我没话说
He's just staring at me!
他就这么盯着我
She's just staring at me!
她就这么盯着我
It's making me nervous.
弄得我很紧张
Great, now my left eye is twitching.
这下好了 我的左眼开始乱跳了
Marshall, it's cool.
马修 没事的
She doesn't see it.
她没发现
What the hell's going on with his eye?
他的眼睛到底是怎么了
Am I supposed to not talk about that?
我是不是不该过问
Great, now my right eye is doing it.
这下好了 我的右眼也跳了
Can I get you two some drinks?
两位需要什么酒水吗
Lots of drinks. Oh, so many drinks.
迫切需要 越多越好
That same night, Barney and Lily were still fighting
同样在那晚 巴尼和莉莉仍在为某事
about, um... something.
争执不休
Or was it that other thing?
或是为别的事
Barney. Save it, Lily.
巴尼 省省吧 莉莉
I am still mad at you for...
我还在生你的气
something, and for that other thing.
因为这件事 还有那件事
Look, I'm sorry I hurt your feelings.
对不起 我让你伤心了
But let's be honest.
但老实说
You've been super sensitive lately.
你最近太敏感了
No, I haven't!
不 我没有
God, how can you say that?!
天啊 你怎么能这么说呢
Watch out!
小心
Wait. They were on the street.
等等 他们当时是在大街上
Watch out!
小心
Wow. Thanks, Lily.
谢谢 莉莉
You saved me.
你救了我
You saved us.
你救了我们爷俩
Look, I know you didn't mean
我知道无论你说了什么
whatever it was you said that made me so mad.
让我生气的话 你都不是故意的
I think I probably didn't.
我大概不是故意的吧
And just like that, the fight was over.
就这样 争吵结束了
You know, kids, friendship is funny sometimes.
孩子们 友情有时很搞笑
Wait.
等等
I still can't resist getting one last shot in.
我还是忍♥不住 想最后再说一句
Like I said, the fight was just getting started.
正如我说的 争执又一触即发
Hi, Captain.
嗨 船长
The Captain.
船长大人
Captain.
船长
Ahoy, Ted!
啊嘿 泰德
Excellent to see you.
见到你太好了
Ah, you, too. Uh, where's Zoey?
你也是 苏伊在哪
Well, I'm afraid she's feeling a little under the weather.
她身体有点不舒服
Looks like it's just you, me
看来就只有我和你
and six hours in frigid international waters.
在这冰冷的公海上 共度六小时
Or we could stay on dry land,
或者我们可以待在陆地上
hang out with some... witnesses.
跟其他人一起玩 比如目击者
You're a hoot.
你真有意思
I've been looking forward to this.
我期待今晚
For a very long time.
已经很久了
Well, anchors aweigh!
起锚出发
Kids, here's one thing I do remember.
孩子们 有一件事我记得很清楚
I was pretty sure I was going to die that night.
我十分确信 当晚我小命不保
You know, I had this really boring poetry class in college.
我在高中的时候 上过非常"没劲"的诗歌♥课
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
等等 等等
You were just thinking that this dinner is really boring.
你觉得这顿晚餐很没劲
That's what made you think of your boring class in college.
所以让你想起了高中"没劲"的课
What?! What? No! No! No, no, no.
什么 不 不 不
Marshall, no. No. I...
马修 不是的 我...
I just saw that board of specials, and I thought,
我只是看见了"劲减"优♥惠♥餐牌 我就想
you know what sucks?
什么才是最逊的呢
Being bored.
"没劲"
Which I am not.
而我现在恰好不是
So that clears that... right up.
于是我就想起了那节课 自然而然
Robin, I'm an attorney.
罗宾 我可是律师
Fine. This night's a little awkward.
好吧 今晚是有点尴尬
I guess it's 'cause we never hang out alone together.
我想是因为我们从没单独出来过
Why is that?
这又是为什么
It's 'cause of The Mermaid Theory.
都是美人鱼理论闹的
Two years ago, I had just hired a new assistant at GNB.
两年前我在巨人国家银行雇了一名新助理
So, who's the eye broccoli?
这花菜眼是谁啊
Okay, that's Iris, my new assistant.
那是爱瑞斯 我的新助理
And yes, she's a little plain,
好吧 她是有点普通
but I'm married, so that's good.
但我已经结婚了 这挺好的
Mark my words, Marshall.
记住我的话 马修
Someday you will find Iris so excruciatingly attractive,
有一天你会发现爱瑞斯魅力超凡
you won't be able to look her directly in the boobs.
你都无法直视她的双峰
I don't think that's gonna be a problem.
我可不觉得这会是问题
Marshall, do you know how the myth of mermaids came to be?
马修 你知道美人鱼神话是怎么来的吗
I'm sorry. Myth?
抱歉 什么神话
It was 300 years ago.
那是在三百年前
Sailors stuck at sea would get desperate
在海上航行的船员们 对于女性♥伴♥侣♥
for female companionship.
饥渴不已
It got so bad that, eventually,
这种饥渴的程度之深 最终
the manatees out in the water started to look like...
一只出水的海牛 也开始看起来像...
beautiful women.
美女
Mermaids.
美人鱼
Let's go get some tail!
我们去打点鱼吧
You see, every woman, no matter how initially repugnant,
每个女人 不管最初有多么令人厌恶
has a mermaid clock.
都有个美人鱼变身倒计时
The time it takes for you to realize you want to bone her.
过不了多久 你会开始想把她扒光
Sure, today you see Iris as a manatee.
当然 今天你认为爱瑞斯就是个海牛
But she ain't gonna stay that way.
但她不可能一直都是海牛
Marshall, your secretary's mermaid clock starts right now.
马修 你秘书的美人鱼变身倒计时 现在开始
And it took one year, three months, and 16 days,
1年3个月零16天都相安无事
but eventually...
但最终
老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother
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