老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother S06E03
Part 1
Oct. 23, 2020, 9:42 a.m.
Kids, in my early days of being a professor,
孩子们 在我任职教授的前几年
I had one simple goal:
有一个很简单的目标
give a lecture that changes someone's life.
就是上一堂能改变某人一生的课
then one afternoon in 2010, I achieved that goal.
2010年的某个下午 我做到了
Unfinished.
未完成
Of all the words you could use to describe La Sagrada Familia
在你能找出的所有可以描述圣家赎罪堂的词语中
brown, pointy, weird
例如棕色 尖状 诡异
the one that really seems to stick
而真正贴切的词语
is "unfinished." Why?
是"未完成" 为什么呢
Because on June 7, 1926,
因为在1926年6月7日
the architect Antoni Gaudi
留着一把棕色未经修整的奇怪尖胡子
whose beard was also brown, pointy, weird and unfinished...
著名的建筑设计师安东尼·高迪
...was run over by a bus.
被一辆公交车碾死
And so, his greatest masterpiece would remain forever...
因此 他的最伟大的杰作才会至今都是未完成状态
But first,let's back up a few days.
首先 让我们回到几天前
Ted, look across the bar.
泰德 瞧吧台那边
Three chicks: one hot, one kind of hot
三个小妞 一个很辣 一个有点辣
and one who I'm assuming is really funny.
还有一个是纯粹来搞笑的
We ride!
我们上吧
What's wrong?
怎么了
I don't know.
我不知道
Got a burger coming.
等服务员上汉堡
Bro, I told you,
兄弟 我告诉过你
if you ever need a wingman, I'm your guy.
如果你需要泡妞帮手 找我就行
Yeah, I'm not going to go through that again.
我才不要再经历那种窘境呢
Hi.
嗨
Barney Stinson.
巴尼·斯丁森
And I'm Marshall, Barney's wingman.
我是马修 巴尼的泡妞小帮手
Thank you for your time.
打扰了
Fine. I'll have a three-way with hot and kind of hot
好吧 那两个辣妹和我玩双飞
while Giggles works the camera.
那个搞笑的妞就在一旁拍艳照吧
I ride!
哥上了
So, get this:
告诉你们件事
Last night, I was watching TV, and it turns out,
昨晚我看电视的时候
some random satellite channel
某个卫星频道
picks up a certain local Chicago newscast.
播放了某个芝加哥当地的新闻广播
And now, the 11:00 News with Don Frank.
现在 由唐·弗兰克带来十一点新闻
Boo!
囧
Oh, man, it's bad enough
天啊 经历一次
to have to go through a horrible breakup,
可怕的分手已经够难受的了
but then have that person pop up on your TV?
而现在那个人又突然从电视里冒出来
Are you okay?
你还好吗
Well, I'll admit, at first, I felt a little weird.
我承认 起初我感到有点怪怪的
But after the initial shock, I realized something:
但在惊讶之余 我意识到
I've moved on.
我已经放下了
Finished with that.
都过去了
It was a peaceful moment of closure.
那是一个平静的告别时刻
That's great.
太好了
Good on you. Yeah, thank you.
祝贺你 是的 谢谢
Where's the poop, Robin?
罗宾 你把便便藏哪里了
Excuse me?
你说什么
When I was a kid, I had a dog named Bean.
我小时候养了一只叫憨豆的狗
Whenever he made the face that you're making right now,
每当它的脸上出现像你这样的表情
you just knew he pooped somewhere in the house.
你就知道 它在屋里某处大便了
Where's the poop, Robin?
罗宾 你的感情大便在哪里
I don't know what you're talking about. Where's the poop, Robin?
我不知道你什么意思 罗宾 便便在哪
There's no poop. Where's the poop?
没有便便 便便在哪
Okay.
我招了
So it wasn't entirely a peaceful moment of closure.
告别那段感情 我心里并不平静
Hey, Don, here's some breaking news:
唐 插播则新闻
there's a zit breaking out on your forehead.
你的前额青春痘爆发了
Finished with that.
都喝完了
Look, I'm not proud, but Don left so quickly
听我说 我并不得意 但唐走得那么匆忙
that I never got the chance to have that final showdown.
我连跟他最后摊牌的机会都会没有
So yelling at him, even on TV,
所以才会大声嚷嚷 虽然只是冲着电视
felt kind of good.
感觉也挺不错
And you know what?
而且你们知道吗
Now I truly am over him.
我现在已经真正忘记他了
That's great. Thank you.
那太好了 谢谢
Good on you.
祝贺你
Where's the poop, Robin?
罗宾 感情大便不是说冲就冲的
Damn it!
该死
Okay, in the process of truly getting over him,
好吧 在忘掉他的过程中
I may have called him
我也许有打电♥话♥给他
and left an... indelicate voice mail.
并留下了一条不怎么文雅的语♥音♥信息
I am gonna kill you.
老娘要宰了你
I'm gonna fly to Chicago, kill you,
我要飞到芝加哥 手刃了你
put your stupid face on a deep dish pizza and eat it.
把你的蠢脸放到芝加哥最有名的披萨中吃掉
And then maybe catch a Bears game.
之后也许会去看场芝加哥熊队的橄榄球比赛
But mostly the killing and eating your face thing.
但主要的事还是宰了你 再啃掉你的脸
Give me your phone.
把你的手♥机♥给我
We're deleting Don's number.
我们要删了唐的号♥码
Don't worry.
别担心
I am never doing that again.
我再也不那样做了了
It was a one-time thing.
下不为例
Prove it.
证明给我们看
Delete contact.
删除联♥系♥人
There. Deleted.
看 删除了
Oh, hey.
嘿 瞧
Wow. Back already.
哇 这么快就回来了啊
How was flying solo?
单飞的感觉怎么样
And by "solo," I mean so low
我说的"单飞"是指少一个帮手飞不高
that you got shot down.
所以很快被打下来了
Look, I didn't get shot down.
我并没有被拒绝
Trust me, I'll get the yes.
相信我 我会抱得美人归的
Barney Stinson always gets the yes.
巴尼·斯丁森总是抱得美人归
This is all part of the plan.
这些都只是计划的一部分而已
After initial contact,
在初步接触之后
I'm now in the ignoring phase.
我现在进行爱理不理阶段
Barney, why can't you just take a girl out to dinner
巴尼 你为什么不像一个普通人一样
like a normal person?
携女友就餐呢
Golden rule: I do not buy dinner to get the yes.
黄金法则 我不会为了赢得美人心而请客吃饭
Dinner's a very intimate activity.
吃饭是种太过亲密的活动
It requires a level of connection and eye contact
它要求一定层次的心有灵犀和眼神交流
that sex just doesn't.
而做♥爱♥就不需要了
Call me old-fashioned,
叫我守旧派吧
but I need to have sex with a girl at least three times
我需要至少和某女孩上♥床♥三次
before I'll even consider having dinner with her.
甚至才开始考虑和她一起就餐的可能
The next day, at the university,
第二天 在学校
I had a surprise visitor.
我迎来了一位不速之客
What are you doing here?
你来这里有何贵干
Oh, God!
天啊
You're dating one of my students.
你不会是在泡我的学生吧
It's Rachel, isn't it?
是瑞秋 对吗
Barney, I know she wears provocative sweaters,
巴尼 我知道她穿撩人的毛衣
but she's 19!
但她才十九岁
Now I'm gonna have to hear all about it, right?
我现在是不是要准备洗耳恭听
Go on, tell me every detail.
来吧 精确到每个细节哦
No, you pent-up old perv.
不 你这个抑郁的老变♥态♥
I brought you a present.
我给你带了一份礼物
Recognize this?
认得这个吗
It's my building.
这是我设计的大楼
Kids, you may remember that, a few years earlier,
孩子们 你们也许记得几年前
I was chosen to design the new Manhattan headquarters
我曾指定为巨人国家银行设计
for Goliath National Bank.
新的曼哈顿总部
It was the opportunity every architect dreams about.
那是每个建筑师梦寐以求的机会
And when the project was ultimately scrapped...
而当该项目最终被放弃时
it broke my heart.
深深伤了我的心
Do you remember how awesome it was to be co-workers
你还记得我们是同事时
nay, bro-workers?
不 应该是兄弟同事时多棒吗
老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother
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