老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother S06E19
Part 1
Oct. 23, 2020, 9:47 a.m.
Kids, I bought the house we live in now way back
孩子们 我买♥♥咱家现在住的房♥子
before I ever met your mother.
远在我遇到你们老妈之前
It needed a lot of work, but I have a vision for it.
虽然要花大力气改造 但我已经胸有成竹了
Vintage rolltop desk here.
这儿放个复古可盒盖书桌
I haven't decided whether to put the fern
我还没想好要把盆栽放在
on the right or the left side,
左边还是右边
but you know, sometimes you just gotta wing it. Right?
不过有时候随便摆摆也不错 对吧
Left side.
放左边
Oh, and right outside,
还有外面
I want to put up a basketball hoop for the kids.
我想给孩子们装个篮球框
Huh? Ted.
咋样 泰德
This is your seduction lounge.
这是你的诱♥奸♥客厅
Sex swing there,
性♥爱♥秋千放那
vibrating Jell-O pit right there,
震动果冻椅放旁边
rotating Vietnamese Shame Wheel right here.
越南转动羞耻轮就放这
Don't ask; you're not ready.
别问了 你消受不起
And that basketball hoop?
至于那个篮球筐嘛
Outdoor stripper pole.
换成室外脱衣钢管
We'll just tell the ladies to be careful in the winter.
就是得告诉姑娘们 冬天要小心点
You think a tongue stuck to a frozen pole is bad...
舔钢管的时候粘上可不好
Hey. Barney, let's go outside for a second.
来 巴尼 咱出去待会儿
We have a confession.
我们有话要说
This wasn't really about seeing Ted's house.
来这儿不是看泰德的新房♥
It's an intervention.
是劝说大会
Oh, thank God.
感谢上帝
I'll go first.
我先来
Ted, this house you bought for your hypothetical family
泰德 你买♥♥给你假想家人的这套房♥子
is super weird.
超级诡异
We talk about it all the time behind your back.
我们在背地里一直声讨这房♥子呢
Yeah. This intervention isn't for me.
那啥 这个大会不是为我开的
It's for you.
是为你
Why did Barney need an intervention?
巴尼为什么需要劝说大会呢
It all started a few nights earlier.
这要从前几晚说起
Barney, I can't believe
巴尼 我简直不敢相信
your giant TV is broken. It's March Madness.
你的大电视居然坏了 这可是疯狂三月啊
Okay, uh, I think I see what the problem is.
好了 我想我知道是什么毛病了
Barney, can you grab me a screwdriver?
巴尼 能递给我一把螺丝刀吗
Sure thing.
当然
Luis. Barney Stinson, 12 H.
路易斯 我是12楼H的巴尼·斯丁森
I got a hundred bucks if you can be here in five. Thanks.
五分钟内过来我给你一百美元 谢了
You call the super for a screwdriver?
你打给管♥理♥员♥就为把螺丝刀吗
Yeah... here's the thing about me and tools--
对 工具这东西至于我吧
the only one I know how to use is attached to me,
除了我肉体上这个 其余的我一概不知
and I am not going to try putting it in the TV.
而且我不会试着把它塞进电视
Again.
再也不会了
Okay, that's ridiculous.
好了 这太荒谬了
Everyone should know how to use tools.
是人都应该会用工具
Well, here's our screwdriver now.
很好 螺丝刀来了
Guys, I'm pretty sure that's not Luis,
同志们 这货肯定不是路易斯
but I can't be certain.
但我不太确定
Someone introduce yourself.
谁来跟他自我介绍一下
Barney, I...
巴尼 我...
I got your letter.
我收到你的信了
Dad?
爸
I can't believe Barney is talking to his dad right now.
真不敢相信 巴尼现在能跟他爸面对面聊天
Yeah, what do you say after three decades of not seeing each other?
是啊 三十多年没见过 能聊点什么呢
"So, how 'bout those last 30 Super Bowls"?
比如 "过去三十年的超级杯怎么样"
Okay, now I feel bad
现在我觉得自己
about making fun of him for the tool thing.
嘲笑他不会用工具挺不厚道的
My dad was the one who taught me all that stuff.
因为这是我爸教我的
Well, to be fair, everyone has some glaring gap in knowledge,
说真的 大家都会在某些方面很小白
something really obvious you somehow never learned.
有些看起来很简单的事情 你就是不会
Okay, but a screwdriver?
好吧 但不会用螺丝刀也太夸张了
Come on, I don't have any gaps that fundamental.
拜托 我就不会在这么基本的东西上小白
Really? I seem to recall...
真的吗 我好像记得
Daniel Burnham was an architect
丹尼尔·伯纳姆是一位建筑工程师
whose ever-shifting style and aesthetic
他的设计千变万化且美轮美奂
made him a true architectural Chamma-Leeon.
堪称建筑界的变晒龙
And only the most gifted chamma-leeon
然而 就算是最有天赋的变晒龙
could've designed classic beaux arts masterpieces
也无法在整齐划一的现代钢铁建筑大环境下
right alongside sleek modern flatirons.
设计出精致典雅的匠心之作
His name might as well have been
我们大可称他为
Daniel Chamma-leeon.
丹尼尔·变晒龙
Um, Professor?
呃...教授
Uh, do you mean "Chameleon"?
你是说"变色龙"吗
Betty, I'm pretty sure it's pronounced "Chamma-leeon," So...
贝蒂 我肯定那个读音是"变晒龙"
Class dismissed.
下课
No homework. For a while.
没作业 暂时没有
Okay, I learned that word by reading it.
我学这个词的时候是边念边记
That's how I've always pronounced it.
所以导致我现在还总是读错音
Oh, Ted, that wasn't easy.
泰德 确实不易
It took a lot of "Ch-aracter" To admit that.
要有"固气"的人才敢于承认
Okay, Scherbatsky. You want to tussle?
好吧 施巴斯基 你非要跟我争吗
I'll tussle. You want to tussle?
对 你确定
Let's tussle. Marine biologist.
开战吧 海洋生物学家
Please, no.
拜托 我投降
So this really sucks, but
这事儿真的超不爽
I'm going to be in the North Pole for the next three months.
但我接下来三个月都要呆在北极
Seriously?
真的吗
The North Pole?
北极
Okay, pal, if you want to break up with me,
得了 兄弟 你要想踹了我
just tell it to me straight.
直接说 一句话的事儿
Don't pretend you're going someplace
别假装你要远行
we all know doesn't exist.
咱俩都心知肚明 这个地方并不存在
Um, I'm going to be studying the mating habits of...
呃 我要去研究交尾习性
Of who? Santa's elves? Rudolph?
谁的 圣诞小精灵跟驯鹿吗
You know what? I'm going on a trip, too, Scott.
斯考特 我也要去旅行
It, uh, starts in Narnia.
从纳尼亚起程
It works its way up to Candyland,
途径糖果乐园
and then, hey, congratulate me,
然后 恭喜我吧
because I'm the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts.
我成为霍格沃兹的聘用教授 专教黑魔法防御术
Expelliarmus!
除你武器
Robin, the North Pole is a real place.
罗宾 北极是个真实存在的地方
You know that, right?
你知道的 对吧
So... you want to get pizza later? Or...
那个 你待会儿想吃比萨还是想
I think we should break up.
我想我们还是分手吧
I still think about him in the shower.
我洗澡时候还会想到他
Hey. Tell us everything. How'd it go, bud?
嗨 跟我们说说 进展如何
Where do I begin?
从何说起呢
So, I'm not sure how to start this. Yeah.
我不知道该怎么开口 是啊
I think I need a drink.
我想我得先喝一杯
Me, too.
我也是
Glen McKenna, neat.
格伦·麦凯纳 不加冰
Nice order. Up top.
有品位 击下掌
Look, it's been 30 years.
听着 都三十年了
And now you just show up out of nowhere?
你现在就突然这么出现
This is... this is going to take me a minute.
这一下 可得容我好好缓缓
Yeah. I understand.
好 我理解
By the way, hell of a tie. Is that Italian silk?
顺便一说 领带不错 意大利真丝吗
I love you, Daddy. I'm so glad we're best friends now.
爸爸我爱你 真高兴我们成好朋友了
Make a muscle. There you go.
给我秀个肌肉 来
Guys, my dad's awesome.
各位 我老爸太棒了
He's the mother of all fathers.
他是世上所有父亲之母
Check this out.
听听这段
Hey, back when I was a kid, you used to be a roadie.
我还小的时候 你曾是乐队音响师
Do you still do that? Not anymore.
你现在还是吗 不了
Back in '83 I'm lugging amps for The Stones through West Germany,
83年我随滚石乐队去西德演出
and their tour manager loses his arms,
他们的巡演经理抓住巴士车尾游车河
bus-surfing through a tunnel.
结果在过隧♥道♥的时候失去双臂
Gnarly.
真带种
老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother
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