老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother S06E17
Part 2
Oct. 23, 2020, 9:47 a.m.
If you're really hurting for it,
如果你真的那么想要
I'd be more than happy to throw you one.
我十分乐意赏你一炮
Throw me one? Yeah.
赏我一炮 是啊
We're exes.
我们是前男女朋友
We're probably due for a backslide.
我们可以来一次离经叛道的
Or we could just do it the normal way.
或者按部就班也行
Oh, I see what's going on. Yeah?
我看出是怎么回事了 是吗
This is about Nora.
这都是因为诺拉
You met a girl, you liked her,
你遇见了一个女孩 你喜欢她
but then you missed your shot.
但你错失良机
And now you're trying to hook up with your ex-girlfriend
现在你是想通过跟前女友乱搞
to prove to yourself that you don't care.
来证明自己无所谓
Robin, you could not be more--
罗宾 你说得太...
What do you mean I missed my shot?
你说我错失良机什么意思
Nora met a guy. What?!
诺拉新认识了一个人 什么
What?
什么
Yep. Off the market.
没错 人家名花有主了
He's taking her to Cafe L'Amour this Friday night.
他周五晚上要带她去爱慕咖啡屋吃饭
But "L'Amour" means love!
但是"爱慕"是爱情的意思
They're going to the cafe of love!
他们要去真爱咖啡屋啦
I'm fine. It's fine.
我没事 没事的
Point is,
重点是
Robin, I don't even like Nora.
罗宾 我根本不喜欢诺拉
Damn it!
该死
Oh, baby, why aren't you in bed?
宝贝 你怎么还不上♥床♥
I can't sleep.
我睡不着
Anything I can do to help you with that?
有什么我能为你效劳的吗
Maybe after this documentary on garbage.
等这个关于垃圾的纪录片演完再说吧
Man, I am losing my touch.
天啊 这么摸法都没反应
Nearly twice the size of Texas,
太平洋垃圾带 或称"垃圾岛"
the Great Pacific Garbage Patch, or "Garbage Island,"
占地面♥积♥约为德克萨斯洲两倍
is an environmental disaster.
这里上演着一场环境灾难
Lost in the sea of rubbish
在垃圾的海洋里迷了路
this young bird struggles to survive,
这只小鸟竭尽所能想生存下去
strangling itself in the plastic wings of a six-pack.
竭尽所能想挣脱六罐装的塑料环
Marshall Eriksen, I think you know what you have to do.
马修·埃里克森 我想你知道该怎么做了
I have to save the planet!
我要拯救星球
Is it over? I call on top.
结束了吗 我要玩观音坐莲
A few days later, I headed over to The Captain's building
几天后 我去了船长家那栋楼
to get Zoey's box.
去取苏伊的箱子
I'm here to... Ted.
我来这儿是... 泰德
What a surprise.
真是意外啊
Ted.
泰德
Captain. I...
船长 我...
You've come to rescue me
你一定是来把我
from the capsized wreckage of my marriage.
从这触礁搁浅的婚姻中拯救出去的吧
Mm...
这个嘛
I hesitated calling you
我之前还很犹豫打给你
because I know you and Zoey were friendly.
因为我知道你和苏伊是朋友
Pssh, nah... But my wife has left me.
其实... 但是我妻子已经离开我了
All my friends have abandoned me.
我所有的朋友都离开了我
Please,
拜托
tell me you're on my side.
告诉我你会支持我
Let's to adjourn the study.
我们上书房♥慢慢聊
Garbage Island.
垃圾岛
You haven't heard of Garbage Island?
你们没听说过垃圾岛吗
It's an island...
那是一座
made of garbage!
由垃圾堆成的岛
It's in the Pacific Ocean.
就在太平洋中
It's twice the size of Texas!
面♥积♥是德克萨斯洲的两倍大
In other words, one-eighth the size of Canada.
换句话说 只有加拿大的八分之一小
So...
见仁见智啦
Guys, I'm going environmental, okay?
各位 我要着手保护环境
Phase one: the bar.
第一步 这间酒吧
I've already convinced MacLaren's
我已经说服了麦凯伦酒吧
to implement a new green initiative.
实施一项新的绿色倡议计划
That's 'cause of you?
是你干的好事
I got to carry an 80-pound bag of bottles
我现在每天晚上得背着一大袋
to the recycling center every night.
重达80磅的酒瓶 走去回收中心
I threw my back out.
我的背都被拉伤了
You're welcome... Earth.
别客气 地球
Phase two:
第二步
GNB.
巨人国家银行
Tomorrow I'm going to make a presentation
明天我要在董事会上展示一份报告
in front of the board about how we can cut
只要我们花区区1200万美元
our carbon footprint by half for only $12 million.
就能削减一半的碳足迹
Dude, don't do that.
兄弟 别这么做
All they're going to hear is "$12 million,"
他们只听得见"1200万"这个惊人的数字
and all you're going to hear
而你也只会听见
is the sound of the door smacking your fired ass.
让你辞职滚回家的关门声
And some muffled laughter.
和忍♥俊不禁的坏笑
Which I apologize for in advance.
为此我先提前道歉一下
Guys,
各位
I got a problem.
我有麻烦了
I ran into The Captain.
我好死不死碰上船长了
Ted, beneath this lustrous mane,
泰德 一顶巨大的绿帽
I wear the horns of a cuckold.
戴在我这光泽动人的秀发上
Zoey left me for another man.
苏伊是为了别的男人离开我的
Wow.
不会吧
Do you have any idea who it could be?
你知道那个人是谁吗
The Captain then told a story
然后船长跟我说了一个
much different
与我之前所说
than the one I'd been telling.
出入很大的故事
But one maybe just as true.
但也许一样真实可信[注释中为泰德内心版本]
Once upon a time, Zoey and I were happy.
从前 苏伊和我过着幸福的生活
Blissful as Arcadian shepherds.
就像《阿卡迪亚牧羊人》那样快乐无比
I was Poseidon,
我就是希腊神话中的海神[海神好战好色 粗野狂躁]
she my Amphitrite.
而她 就是我的海皇后
I dare say, Scylla and Charybdis
我敢说 即使身陷险境进退两难
could not have torn us asunder.
也不能将我们分开
We had great big boners for each other.
我们都曾为彼此性奋不已[我们都曾犯下过大错误]
But then...
但是后来
enter the scoundrel.
半路杀出了程咬金
Oh, man, this movie's scary.
天啊 这电影太吓人了
I know, eh?
我知道
I don't know what he looks like,
我不知道他长什么样子
but I picture him with a mustache.
但我在想象中 他留着小胡子
Yes!
没错
Limit the search to guys with mustaches.
把搜索范围缩小到留胡子的人吧
Smart.
聪明之举
Anyway, soon the inevitable happened.
很快 该来的总会来
She told me she was in love with someone else.
她告诉我她爱上了别人
Obviously, it made me angry.
显然 这让我很气愤
And that's the last time you saw her.
这就是你最后一次见她
But I gathered my composure,
但随后 我冷静下来
and told her I'd do anything to keep her.
告诉她我愿意做任何事来留住她
I begged her not to leave.
我求她不要离开
We made love that night.
那晚我们做♥爱♥了
That's damn good brandy.
这白兰地真是好喝
But morning came,
但当清晨来临
and she was gone.
她已经走了
Oh, Captain...
船长
don't blame yourself.
不用自责
I don't blame myself.
我没有自责
There's only one man I blame for this.
这件事 我只责怪一个人
Me.
我
I'm the bad guy.
我就是那个坏人
Well, maybe to him you are, but in the story
也许对他来说你是 但在为苏伊
of picking up the box for Zoey,
去拿箱子的这个故事中
you're the hero.
你可是英雄
老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother
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