老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother S06E11
Part 1
Oct. 23, 2020, 9:45 a.m.
Kids, in the winter of 2010,
孩子们 2010年的冬天
we had a new addition to our little group
我们的小团体加入的新成员
Zoey.
苏伊
Zoey was married to..
苏伊有个老公
The Captain.
自称船长
Boys! Great to see you!
孩子们 很高兴见到你们
Looking smart.
小伙儿挺帅啊
Have a wonderful time tonight, okay?
今晚玩得开心点 好咩
Okay.
很好
That man is terrifying.
这位仁兄太可怕了
Everything he said was nice, but I am profoundly scared.
他说的话都很友善 可我咋就头皮发麻呢
Keep smiling. He can still see us.
保持微笑 他还看得见咱呢
There was just something about him.
我们总觉得他哪儿不对劲
We couldn't put our finger on it until...
可又说不上毛病在哪 直到...
I figured it out!
我总算明白了
I know what's so creepy about The Captain.
我知道船长让人害怕的原因了
Okay.
好 你说
Yeah.
看
I snapped this photo of him last time he dropped off Zoey.
他昨晚送苏伊来的时候 我快拍下了这照片
Observe.
请观察
The bottom half of his face...
他脸的下半部分
is smiling.
笑眯眯的
Look, he seems happy.
他看似很欢乐
Seems like a nice guy.
看似很友善
But the top half of his face...
但是他脸的上半部分
...wants to murder you!
凶神恶煞的宰人样
Cheerful.
很欢乐很友善
Wants to murder you.
凶神恶煞的宰人样
No. Cheerful.
不 很欢乐很友善哦
Wants to murder you.
恨不能宰了你
Now, hold on. Let me ask him a question.
现在 等下 我来问个问题
Captain, what do you think of ice cream?
船长 你觉得冰激凌怎样
Oh, he loves it!
看 他超爱冰激凌
Captain, what do you think of rainy days?
船长 你觉得雨天怎么样
Whoa, he hates them.
哇 他恨透下雨天
Captain, quick question:
船长 问个小问题
How do you feel about the Jonas Brothers? Ooh.
你觉得乔纳斯兄弟怎么样[摇滚组合]
What-What is that?
这...这是什么意思
I don't get it. I don't get it.
我没明白 搞不懂
He hates that he loves them.
又爱又恨 冰♥火♥两重天
Ah!
原来如此
Great. Okay.
好极了 好的
Hey, guys, Zoey just told me about
伙计们 苏伊跟我说
this great Frank Lloyd Wright retrospective tonight.
今晚有个超赞的弗兰克·劳埃德·赖特巡回展
Who's in?
谁想一起去
Sorry, I'm, uh, I...
抱歉 那个我...
I-I don't know, washing my hair.
准备洗个头什么的
Running the water.
我帮你放水
Holding the towel.
我给你拿毛巾
And I'll be home trying to get over the fact
我会在家黯然神伤 独自纠结
that no one invited me to the big hair washing party.
为毛没人邀我去参加洗头狂欢节
All right, fine. Guess it'll just be me and Zoey.
好吧 那就我和苏伊俩去咯
Oh, wait. Just the two of you?
等一下 就你们俩吗
Tread lightly, Mosby.
小心擦枪走火啊 小莫
Any time a single guy hangs out with a married woman,
无论何时 一个单身男跟个已婚少♥妇♥出门
there are rules that must be followed.
一定要严守以下规则
Rule number one...
第一
Don't use the husband's condoms.
千万别用她老公的套套
That's just rude.
那样太失礼了
Rule number one:
第一
don't go anywhere that has candles.
千万不能去点蜡烛的地方
Excuse me, Captain, how do you feel
打扰一下 船长 你如何看待
about Ted and Zoey having an intimate chat by candlelight?
泰德和苏伊 两人亲密的秉烛夜谈
It'll be the last dinner they ever have.
那将是你们最后的晚餐
Rule number two:
第二
No sharing food.
不要共享食物
In fact,anything involving saliva is off-limits.
事实上 只要牵扯到口水 就要坚决杜绝
Toothbrushes, thermometers, lipstick.
牙刷 体温计 唇膏统统不行
Well, if I can't share her lipstick,
讨厌啦 如果不能共用她的唇膏
there's really no point in even going.
人家连展览都不想去了
And the most important rule of all...
最后 也是最重要的一点
Lubricant is public property.
润滑剂可以随便用啦
Please.
拜托
No lying to the spouse about anything you do.
全程必须毫无保留地告诉配偶
Why would anyone lie?
这有什么可隐瞒的
Look, Zoey and I are just friends.
听好 我和苏伊不过是朋友
If there was anything more than that,
如果有一丁点儿暧昧
I wouldn't hang out with her.
我绝不会跟她出去
Lily's right, Ted.
莉莉说得对 泰德
Once you're married,it's very hard
一旦你结婚了 就很难
to be friends with a single person of the opposite sex.
跟一个潜在性♥伴♥侣♥ 保持朋友关系
Yeah. Unless you're old friends,
没错 除非是个老朋友
which is why i can hang out with Marshall whenever I want.
所以我随时都可以找马修玩
Right, Marsh Madness?
对不对呀 马修也疯狂
No doubt, Robo Cop.
没错 咆哮小宾宾
You two never hang out alone.
你俩从不单独行动
You just made up those nicknames right now.
刚才那些绰号♥ 也都是随口取的
I guess it's true.
我想应该是哦
You and I never really hang out alone.
咱俩都没单独出去玩过
Well, let's. Let's have dinner together, just the two of us.
那就去呗 一起吃晚饭 就咱俩
Oh! Sweet.
真窝心耶
No candles.
不准点蜡烛
No candles.
要蜡烛干啥
Lily, I guess that leaves just you and me.
莉莉 那样的话就剩咱俩了
Want to hang?
想与我共度夜晚吗
And then Lily said something to Barney
随后莉莉的回答
that insulted every fiber of his being.
深切地凌♥辱♥了巴尼的每一个细胞
Nah.
拉倒
Wait. No. It had to be more than just, "Nah."
等下 不对 肯定比"拉倒"这个词更伤人
Oh, I think she said...
我记得她原话是
You're a big... stupid octopus head!
你这愚蠢的大头章鱼
No, that doesn't make sense.
不对 不可能这样无故骂人
Okay, hang on. What did she say?
好了 等一下 她怎么说的来着
She said, um, uh...
她说 呃
To be honest kids, I'm having a little trouble remembering
实话实说 孩子们 爹有点儿想不起来
exactly what their fight was about.
他们当时为什么吵起来了
Hey, it was 20 years ago!
喂 都二十年前的事了好不好
I'll remember.
我会想起来的
Anyway, the next night...
随便啦 第二天晚上
Well, Lily, you were right.
莉莉 你说的没错
Something weird happened with Zoey last night.
昨晚我跟苏伊真的怪怪的
Oh, that's the Captain.
咦 是船长
Yes, I call my husband The Captain,
没错 我称呼我老公为船长
but that is the only concession I make to his seafaring ways.
对他的航海事业 我只有这一点点妥协哦
Hang on.
等会儿哈
Ahoy.
啊嘿[海上打招呼用词]
I'm just out with friends.
我跟朋友们在外面玩呢
Friends. Plural.
朋友们 她居然用复数
Like-Like there was more than one of me.
就跟那当时有好几个我一样
She lied to her husband? Uh-oh.
她对她老公撒谎了 不妙
So, what did you do?
那你怎么做的
Uh, Zoey, um, did you just say you were out with friends?
苏伊 你刚是说和"朋友们"在外面吗
Yeah. The Captain's on his way home from Milan.
是啊 船长正在从米兰回来的路上
He can get a little jealous sometimes,
他有时会有点吃醋
so I didn't want to make him worry.
所以我不想让他担心
Is that okay?
有问题吗
It's totally okay.
完全没问题
It's not okay! I didn't really think it was okay!
问题大了 我也觉得有问题
Pur-leez! You lie to your husband all the time.
胡说 你一直都在对你老公撒谎
"Uh, uh, that shirt looks great on you"
"那件衬衫穿在你身上真帅"
老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother
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