老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother S06E01
Part 2
Oct. 23, 2020, 9:41 a.m.
seriously, I love you, but it's like
说真的 我爱你 但是你现在就像
you have squiggly cartoon odor lines
被那种弯了吧唧散发恶臭的木偶绳子
coming off of you right now.
操控着一样
You know what, Barney?
这样吧 巴尼
Just cut her some slack, okay?
放她一马吧
She just went through a breakup.
她才分手不久
With hygiene?
是和卫生分的手吧
No, with Don.
不 和唐
You see, a few months earlier...
几个月前
Here, have some tea.
给 喝点茶
Thanks.
多谢
Robin, I am here for you.
罗宾 我会在这儿支持你的
Whatever you need.
有什么需要 尽管开口
Okay, um, about that.
说到这个
Ted, listen.
泰德 是这样
I know myself pretty well.
凭我对自己的了解
And, um, some time over the next few months,
在未来的几个月里
I'm gonna want to sleep with you.
我会要求跟你上♥床♥
And when that happens,
这事一旦发生
you have to try to say no.
你一定要努力地拒绝
Try?
努力
I will absolutely say no.
我一定会言辞拒绝的
Our friendship is too important.
我们的友谊是弥足珍贵的
Oh.
太好了
Okay, you know, maybe I wasn't clear enough.
好吧 可能是我没说清楚
Um...
这么说吧
I will come at you with everything I've got.
我会使出浑身解数缠着你
I will stalk you
我会像狮子跟踪
like the lioness stalks the gazelle:
羚羊一样跟着你
careful, patient, deadly.
谨慎 耐心 锲而不舍
And if you let your guard down
如果你的心理防线
for so much as a second,
哪怕松懈一秒
as sure as you were born,
我敢保证 打自你出娘胎以来
I will hump your brains out.
我会把你脑浆都干出来
Okay, I'm ready to have sex now.
好了 我现在准备做♥爱♥了
It was a tough summer,
这的确是个难熬的夏天
but I think our girl's been a real trooper.
但我们的小女孩已经变得坚强勇敢了
She's...
她...
Is this a Cheeto?
那是奇多吗[一种膨化食品]
No, we ran out of Cheetos last week.
怎么可能 奇多上周就吃完了
Oh, yeah, it's a Cheeto. Dibs.
没错 这就是奇多 是我的啦
Oh, you're exquisite.
你真是朵奇葩
You must let me paint you.
让我为你作幅画吧
Hey Robin, what do you think?
罗宾 你觉得她如何
The girl sitting at the bar.
坐在吧台的那位
Shields up?
是开的免打扰模式吗
Mmm, totes, toots. She's here on a date.
全错 她是来这儿约会的
She brought the book because she got here early,
她之所以带书来 是因为她来早了
and she also wants to impress the guy she's meeting.
同时 她也想给她的约会对象留下好印象
Girls like to come across all classy and smart, you know?
女孩儿都喜欢展现优雅聪颖的一面
This? What you're doing right now?
那现在呢 你又在干嘛
I'm getting a "De-rection."
你这样真让我阳痿又反胃
Hey! How'd it go? You pregnant yet?
怎么样了 怀上了吗
Nope!
没有
Okay, so, here's what happened.
事情是这样的
I was at home, waiting for Marshall.
我当时在家 等马修回来
Hey! How was your day?
嗨 今天过得怎么样
Don't answer. No time.
别回答了 时间紧迫
Um, bedroom. No, no. No time.
去卧室 算了 时间紧迫
Floor. No, no time.
在地板好了 不行 时间紧迫
Against this wall!
干脆靠着墙来吧
Marshall, whoa! Wait.
马修 等等
A big package just arrived.
家里刚来了个大礼包
Yeah, it did.
没错 确实
No, no.
不是闹着玩的
It's a real package from your dad.
是你♥爸♥寄来的一个大礼包
Well, that's a little weird, but yeah, it is.
这么说有点怪 不过也没错
Marshall, look!
马修 瞧
A bassinet? Oh, my...
是摇篮 我的天
He must've made it in his wood shop.
他一定是在他的木材商店里做的
Wasn't that sweet of him?
他是不是很贴心呢
Lil?
莉莉
Isn't that sweet?
这举动多贴心啊 不是吗
Lily?
莉莉
You told your dad we're trying to have a baby?
你居然告诉你♥爸♥ 我们准备造人
Of course I did. I tell my dad everything.
我当然说了 我跟我爸无话不谈
My dad is my best friend.
我爸是我最好的朋友
Oh!
说什么呢
Lily, we have been looking forward
莉莉 整整两周
to this magical, special night for two weeks now.
我们一直在期待这个神奇的特别之夜
And, sweetie, during that time, I have been, um...
宝贝 在这期间 我可是强忍♥着...
how do I put this delicately?
这要怎么说呢
Saving all my love for you.
为你积攒我所有的爱
I have read 11 books on conception.
我读了11本关于受孕的书
I have cut out
我还戒了
alcohol, caffeine and sugar.
酒精 咖啡和糖
I take my temperature every hour.
我每小时都量体温
But good for you for not playing with yourself.
不过你没自己解决 真是好极了
I feel you, buddy.
我理解你 伙计
Ah, no. Ah. Don't even touch me, dude.
不不 别碰我 哥儿们
It's been, like... It's been two weeks.
都已经 整整两周了
I'm, like, a light breeze away from having a big problem.
丁点儿碰触就能引爆我熊熊的欲♥火♥
Seriously.
说真的
Okay, I'm better now.
好吧 我的火已经浇熄一半了
Okay, Barney.
巴尼
What's this going to cost me?
我得花多少钱
Excuse me?
你说什么
Your dibs. I want to buy your dibs.
你下的订单 我想买♥♥过来
Two... hundred...
二... 十...
and fifty thousand dollars.
五万美元
20 bucks.
二十块
But I...
但我...
Can I go smell her first?
那我先过去闻闻啥味儿吗
No. Fine.
不行 好吧
All right.
好了
Wish me luck.
祝我好运
Now kids, remember how I told you
孩子们 还记得我跟你们说过
about a girl named Cindy?
一个叫辛迪的女孩吗
How I went on one date with her and it ended...
我跟她约过会 但最后结局...
Get out.
出去
badly? Well...
一败涂地
How are you? Good.
你好吗 不错
What the hell are you doing?
你到底在干嘛
That girl she's talking to?
跟她说话的那个女孩
I dated her.
跟我约会过
Ooh, that sucks.
真糟透了
And dibs.
哥又定了
So you went on one date with one of her friends.
你跟她的一个朋友约过一次会
It's not necessarily a big deal.
这没什么大不了的
I mean, did it end on bad terms?
我的意思是 结局是不欢而散吗
Um...
这个嘛
Oh, hi Cindy.
嗨 辛迪
Oh, hi Cindy.
嗨你个头
Yikes.
悲剧啊
Well, I guess you just got to move on.
我觉得你还是放弃好了
I mean, it's not like you have a shot
就像天才篮球手米基站在那儿
with Ready McGee over there, right?
你连篮筐都摸不到
Ted?
泰德
Then I remembered.
然后我想起来
Cindy had a roommate.
辛迪有个室友
老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother
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