幻想快乐

Happy! S01E01

Part 2 June 30, 2020, 7:19 a.m.

Empty my big shiny Christmas balls!
这种事可不是每天都能看到的
Now here's something you don't see every day.
我是你十一点的客人
I'm your 11:00.
抱歉我来早了吗
Sorry, am I early?
妈的
Oh, shit.
这倒是新奇
Well, that's novel.
蟑螂
Cockroach?
明虾就像是小虾
Prawn. It's like a shrimp.
求你别... 求你
Um, please don't-- please...
你要放松点
You need to relax.
如果我准时来
If I'd showed up on time,
锤子就会把你的头颅敲开成两半了
that hammer would be halfway through your skull.
我再也不接待怪人了我向天发誓
That's the last weirdo. I swear to God.
现在不是做出重大决定的时候给
Now's not the time to be making big decisions. Here.
我认识你
Hey. Hey, I know you.
我不觉得
I don't think so.
你是警♥察♥吧
Yeah, you're a-- you're a cop, right?
以前你抓过我
You busted me back in the day.
你是个真君子
You-- you were a real gentleman.
完全没调戏过我
Didn't make a pass or anything.
你叫我坐巴士回家
You told me to get on a bus and go home,
叫我积极向上
get my act together.
你激励了我
You inspired me.
看得出
I can see that.
那个
Yeah, well...
你现在看起来不像是警♥察♥了
You don't look like a cop no more.
出了什么事
What happened?
如果现在能和你聊那些事
Yeah, I'd be tickled to death
那我会高兴死的
to have that conversation with you right now,
但是我宁愿聊聊你打算怎么报恩
but I'd prefer to talk about how you're gonna pay me back.
跟我说说兄弟你在烦什么
Talk to me, bro. What's eating you?
我了解你
I know you.
迪斯科·麦克不是这样的
This ain't Disco Mikey.
我看过你的阅后即焚那些妞和红酒
I saw your Snapchat-- the chicks, the wine.
你肯定过得很逍遥自在吧
You must have had the time of your life out there, huh?
当然最好的
Sure. Best ever.
你们也许以为我继承了一大笔遗产
You guys probably think I got some kind of big inheritance lined up.
老唐死之前帮我跟大人物牵线搭桥了对吧
The Old Don hooked me up real good before he kicked it, right?
你想说什么难道不是真的吗
What are you saying? It ain't true?
唐·斯卡拉穆奇把你当儿子一样来爱护
Don Scaramucci loved you like a son,
整个家族就只挑了你
picked you out of everybody in the whole family.
他的确给我留了东西
He left me something, all right.
但不是钱
But not money.
就是这里
This is the place.
有什么计划兄弟
Yo, what's the play, bro?
好了我有非常详细的情报
All right, I got high-specificity intel.
我们会在这混♥蛋♥光屁溜的时候抓住他
We're gonna catch this asshole literally with his pants down.
失踪
禁贴广♥告♥
放我出去
Let me out!
现在现在机会来了快走快走
Now, now, now's your chance! Go, go, go, go!
别担心海莉我会找到他的
Don't worry, Haley! I'll find him!
我跟你说什么来着
What did I tell you, huh?
该死
Holy shit.
麦克小事一桩对吧
Ah, Mike. It's nothing, right?
让你再又臭又硬萨克斯
Not a fucking tough guy anymore, Sax.
你是谁
Who's this?
"劣酒"帕尔·斯卡拉穆奇
Pal "Swipes" Scaramucci?
你才不是那是我名字
No you ain't, that's me.
老天他们还说你比较聪明呢
Oh, boy, and they told me you were the smart one.
好了天才如果你能跟得上我的思路
All right, then, genius, see if you can follow this.
现在跟你通话的是受雇
Right now you're talking to the man who was hired
杀死斯卡拉穆奇兄弟的人
to kill the Scaramucci Brothers.
现在我坦白
Now, full confession--
我是个懒到家的混♥蛋♥
I am one lazy bastard.
所以问题就是
So the problem is,
我该怎么让一群疯癫的傻子出现在一处呢
how do I get all you squirrely assholes together in one place?
方法就是我召集你们
Solution--I call in a hit
来刺杀尼克·萨克斯这帅逼
on that handsome son of a bitch Nick Sax.
我♥操♥
Oh, shit.
我让你们聚集到一处排好队
I gather you all together in one place, lined up.
就好像火鸡活靶射击比赛
Like a turkey shoot!
真有趣订单上是杀三个人
That's funny. I contracted for three.
等等
Wait a minute.
你是那个小♥弟♥弟♥ 是不是
You're the baby brother, right?
看看你都长大了
Look at you--all grown up,
手抖菊颤的
hands shaking, asshole flapping.
你...
You--
对我杀了你哥哥们没错
Yeah, I killed your brothers, that's right.
真尴尬
It's awkward.
真♥他♥妈♥衰
Oh, that sucked.
说再见吧
Say bye-bye.
等等等等
Wait, wait, wait!
不管你收到多少酬金
Whatever you're getting paid,
我都有更值钱的东西
I've got something that's worth more.
我听着呢
I'm listening.
是一串密♥码♥
It's a password.
我不听了
I just stopped listening.
是来自西西里的老唐的密♥码♥
From the old Don in Sicily.
他死之前给了我一串密♥码♥
Before he died, he gave me a password
可以打开一个加密文件
to an encrypted file.
那是一个名单
It's--it's a list of names.
是无价之宝
It's priceless.
好吧我不收无价的东西
Yeah, I don't do priceless.
我更喜欢现金结账
I'm more of a cash-and-carry kind of guy.
何况听起来这密♥码♥会让我
Besides, it sounds like I'd be tortured and killed for it
被一堆团伙折磨致死所以...
by any number of interested parties, so...
如果你要这么说
I mean, while you're at it,
你还不如让我得肠癌呢
why don't you just offer me ass cancer?
求你了求你了
Please. Please.
好吧你现在特别愿意分享我明白
All right, look, you're in a sharing kind of mood. I get it.
那就跟你哥哥们说去吧
So just tell it to your brothers.
你中枪了
You're shot!
对但真正引起我注意的
Yeah, but it's the heart attack I just had
是我刚刚心脏病犯了
that's really got my attention.
我参加了旋转训练课吃了更多蔬菜汤
I got to join a spin class, eat more kale.
什么鬼
What the--
好极了
Perfect.
先生
Hey. Hey, hey, mister!
我的钱呢
What about my money?
妈妈
Mama.
求你了我已经尽力做好了
Please, I've been as good as I can.
原谅我吧妈妈
Forgive me, Mama.
孩子要是我让你想起了你妈妈
Kid, if I remind you of your mama,
那你的问题比脑子里枪眼要大多了
you got bigger problems than a hole in your head.
如果你能听一听我的忏悔
If you just hear my confession,
我就可以看开了妈妈
I can move on, Mama.
忏悔好吧你说随便说别客气
Confession? Yeah, sure. Go ahead. Knock yourself out.
妈妈这个世界是由恶魔控制的
Mama, the world-- it's run by devils.
他们看着像人但他们是魔鬼
They--they look like people, but they're devils.
曾祖父他给我看了样东西
Great-Grandpa, he showed me things--
我宁愿永远都没见过那东西
things I wish I never saw.
我一定得告诉你妈妈
I got to tell it to you, Mama,
这样我就不会再把它藏在心里了
so that I won't have it in me anymore.
这样我就能自♥由♥了
And then I can be free.
好了已经告诉过你一次了哥们
All right, look, I already told you once, pal.
现在我再说一次我不感兴趣
Now I'm gonna tell you again. I'm not interested.
这也太简单了
That was easy.
好了
Okay.
好了尼克
All right, Nick.
好了你没事
All right, you're fine.
你没事