好兆头

六个月后 因为厌倦了雨 男人
Six months later, sick of the rain, the men,
还有先后吃掉大♥麻♥作物和帐篷的羊
the sheep who ate first their marijuana crop and then their tents,
佩帕的妈妈回到了塔德菲尔德
Pepper's mother returned to Tadfield
开始学习社会学课程
and enrolled in a Sociology course.
那是有可能的 混合起来就是了
There could be, if you mixed them up.
比如草莓巧克力
You know, strawberry and chocolate.
每个小帮派都需要一个布赖恩
Every gang needs a Brian.
永远邋遢
Always grimy,
永远支持亚当提出来的所有想法和需求
always supportive of anything Adam invents or needs.
香草巧克力
Vanilla and chocolate.
巧克力香草
Chocolate and vanilla.
草莓香草巧克力
Strawberry and vanilla and chocolate.
总之 没人要把狗狗从我身边带走
Anyway, nobody's going to take Dog away from me.
我们永远在一起 是吧 小子
We're together to the end. Aren't we, boy?
蝾螈的眼睛和狗的舌头
Eye of newt and tongue of dog,
西北偏北
north by northwest.
在那
There.
这是西南
And it's southwest.
你一定就在这的某个地方
You must be here somewhere.
有一个女巫住进了茉莉小屋
There's a witch moved in to Jasmine Cottage.
-太蠢了 -才不蠢呢 蠢货
- That's stupid. - It's not stupid, stupid.
亨德森太太跟我妈妈说
Mrs Henderson told my mother
那人订了一份女巫的报纸
that the lady there gets a witches' newspaper.
不好意思 我爸说世上没有什么女巫
Excuse me. My father says there's no such thing as witches.
女巫有自己的报纸听上去挺合理的
It makes sense that witches would have their own newspaper.
我爸爸就订了《垂钓者邮报》
My dad gets the Angler's Times,
我打赌世上的女巫肯定比垂钓者多
and I bet there's loads more witches than anglers.
闭嘴 我没说完呢
Shut up. I'm trying to tell you things.
那报纸叫《通灵新闻报》
It's called the Psychic News.
她是个女巫
She's a witch.
事实上 再也没有女巫了
Actually, there are no more witches,
因为我们发明了科学
because we invented science
所有牧师都会烧死女巫 这是为她们好
and all the vicars set fire to the witches for their own good.
这叫西班牙宗教审判
It was called the Spanish Inquisition.
我觉得到处放火烧死别人 肯定是不允许的
I don't reckon it's allowed, going round setting fire to people.
要不人们岂不是玩起来没个够
Otherwise people'd be doing it all the time.
如果你是牧师就没问题
It's alright if you're a vicar
这样做还能防止女巫下地狱
and it stops the witches from going to hell.
我想 只要能摆正心态 她们一定感激不尽
So I expect they'd be quite grateful if they understood it properly.
我们能组织一场新的西班牙宗教审判
We could be the new Spanish Inquisition.
事实上 我们不能当西班牙宗教审判官
Actually, we can't be the Spanish Inquisition,
因为我们不是西班牙人
because we're not actually Spanish.
我去过巴塞罗那 我可以教你们西班牙语
I've been to Barcelona. I can teach you Spanish.
他们经常说「精彩」
They say "olé" a lot.
我们在烧女巫之前 应该先练习一下
We should practice before we start burning witches.
从小处做起 稳扎稳打
We should start small and work our way up.
交给我吧
Leave it to me.
这里是塔德菲尔德地区 有没有一种似曾相识的感觉
This is the Tadfield area. Does it look familiar yet?
的确很熟悉
You know, it does.
我记得这附近有个空军基地
I think there's an air base around here somewhere.
基地
Air base?
你不会以为美国外交官的妻子
Well, you don't think American diplomats' wives
通常都在不知什么地方的
usually give birth in little religious hospitals
修会小医院里生孩子吧
in the middle of nowhere, do you?
必须让一切显得自然而然
No, it all had to seem to happen naturally,
下塔德菲尔德有一处空军基地
so there's an air base at Lower Tadfield.
孩子要生了 基地医院还没做好准备
Things started to happen, base hospital isn't ready.
我们的内应就顺水推舟地说
"Oh", our man there said.
「沿这条路走有家产科医院」
"There's a birthing hospital just down the road."
一切搞定
And there we were.
是个相当不错的计划
Rather good organisation.
完美无瑕
Flawless.
这本该奏效的
It should have worked.
邪恶总是暗藏自我毁灭的种子
But evil always contains the seeds of its own destruction.
不管一个邪恶计划多么缜密
No matter how well-planned,
多么周详
how foolproof an evil plan,
无论表面上进行得多么成功
no matter how apparently successful it may seem upon the way,
它终将从罪孽的悬崖上跌落并消亡
in the end it will founder on the rocks of iniquity and vanish.
但在我看来 这不过是一次失误
For my money it was just an ordinary cock-up.
-嘿 小家伙们 -你好
- Hey, guys. - Hi.
帽子很帅
Nice hat.
这其实是用纸板做的
Actually, we made it out of cardboard.
这是为了我们的游戏
It's for our game.
很时髦 你们在玩什么
Stylish. What are you guys playing?
英式宗教审问
The British Inquisition.
快走 温斯利戴
Come on, Wensleydale.
听起来很有趣 这游戏怎么玩
Sounds like fun. How does the game work?
我是大审判官 布莱恩是首席行刑人
I am chief inquisitor. Brian is head torturer.
我们正在寻找女巫
And we're trying to find a witch.
听起来很合理啊
Sounds very sensible.
-怎么找女巫 -看好了
- How do you do that? - Watch.
汝可是女巫
Art thou a witch?
啊咧
Olé?
是
Yes?
你不能说是 你要说不
You can't say yes. You've got to say no.
然后呢
Then what?
然后我们就对你用刑 让你承认
Then we torture you until you say yes.
慢着 你们要对他用刑
Wait, you're going to torture him?
我们造了一台拷问机
We built a torturing machine.
这看起来像个秋千
It looks like a swing.
但是 在这种情况下
But, obviously, in this situation,
我其实是个女巫
I actually am a witch.
我有一顶尖尖的大帽子
I have a big pointy hat,
我们家里还有只猫 而且
and we have a cat at home, and--
我还借来了妈妈的扫帚
and I borrowed Mum's broom.
谁也没说你不能当女巫
Look, no one's saying you can't be a witch,
但你要说你不是女巫
but you just have to say you're not a witch.
如果我们一问 你就马上承认
There's no point taking all this trouble
我们干吗要费这么大劲
if you're going to go round saying yes the minute we ask you.
-你要说不是 -但是...
- Just say no. - But--
汝可是女巫 邪恶的老丑婆
Art thou a witch, oh, evil crone?
不好意思 亚当 为什么是我在做苦力
Excuse me, Adam, why must I do all the work?
我这是在受刑 真的很痛苦
I'm being tortured here. Actually, this is very painful.
我在考虑承认自己是女巫
I am thinking of admitting to being a witch.
如果不让我玩 我就回家了
I'm going to go home if I can't have a go.
我不明白为什么乐子全让邪恶女巫得去了
Don't see why evil witches should have all the fun.
你得继续推我呀
You have to keep pushing.
-嘿 孩子 -什么
- Hey, kid. - Yeah?
-我能问你点事吗 -行啊
- Can I ask you something? - Yeah.
有没有见过巨大的野兽或发生过奇怪的事
Are there any great beasts or strange things happening?
这里有个「狗狗」 他是野兽
Well, there's Dog. I mean, he's a beast.
过来 狗狗 打个招呼
Come on, Dog, say hello.
我要找的不是它
Not what I was looking for.
等一下 我得给他们下指令
Hold on. I have to tell them what to do.
好吧 邪恶女巫温斯利戴 别再干坏事了
All right, evil witch Wensleydale, don't do it again.
现在你从拷问秋千上下来
And now you get off the torturing swing
换别人玩一会儿
and let someone else have a turn.
好吧 你们这些孩子都很有趣
Right, well, you kids are hilarious,
但我要继续找了 再会
but I'm going to keep looking, so, bye.
塔德菲尔德庄园
你确定我们来对地方了
Are you sure this is the right place?
这里看起来不像是医院
This-- This doesn't look like a hospital.
而且
And...
我感觉到了爱
...it feels loved.
不会 绝对是这个地方
No, it's definitely the place.
什么叫「感觉到了爱」
What do you mean "loved"?
意思就跟你说「我不喜欢这地方
Well, I mean the opposite of when you say,
令人毛骨悚然」截然相反
"I don't like this place. It feels spooky".
我不会说这种话 我爱毛骨悚然
I don't ever say that. I like spooky.
我是毛骨悚然的死忠粉 我们去找修女谈谈
Big spooky fan, me. Let's go talk to some nuns.
蓝的