V世代（2023）

You know, just yesterday, I heard about a Super-abled mom of...
真是见鬼了
Fuck. This was a mistake.
我们不该留下来 应该逃跑的
We should've run.
让所有人都知道我们畏罪潜逃 你这想法真♥他♥妈♥的天才
Paint a giant "we're guilty" sign on our backs? That's fucking genius.
总比坐以待毙 等着凯特醒过来要好
Well, it's better than sitting around and waiting for Cate to wake up.
如果她能醒过来的话
If she wakes up.
你们听了我接下来的话千万别抓狂 我知道你们肯定会说
Okay, guys, don't freak out when I say this, 'cause I know you guys are gonna be like,
“天啊 艾玛 你怎么能有那种提议 ”
"Oh, my God, Emma, how could you even suggest that,"
但本着集思广益 不作评判的原则
but in the spirit of nonjudgmental brainstorming...
要不我们…
...what if we...
永除后患吧
finished the job?
艾玛 我们不能再去找凯特 那就是蓄意谋杀
Emma? We are not gonna track Cate down, so we can do murder on purpose this time.
用得着你说吗 杀人是不对的
Obviously. Murder is so bad.
但是那能救我们所有人一命 你们想一想
Though it would save our collective asses, come on.
我百分之九十九确定密使已经知道了
I'm, like, 99% sure Cipher knows already.
那我们为什么还没死 没被关起来 -我不知道
Then why aren't we dead or back at Elmira? -No fucking idea.
又多了一个逃跑的理由
Even more reason to run.
或者说又多了一个理由 去查那个奥德萨计划
Or even more of a reason to look into this Odessa thing.
你能别再叨叨那个计划吗
Will you shut the fuck up about that?
我们有更重要的事要担心
We have way bigger shit to worry
而不是这个 根本不知道是否存在的谜团
about than the vaguest fucking mystery to ever mystery.
星光认为这很重要 -你♥他♥妈♥的疯了
Starlight thinks it's important. -You're fucking crazy.
拜托你告诉她她疯了
Please tell her she's fucking crazy.
你们俩都疯了
Oh, you're both fucking crazy.
凯特 不管你在哪里
Cate, wherever you are,
祖国人 耶稣和我都将站在你这边
Homelander, Jesus and I stand with you.
我们知道你肯定能转危为安
And we know you're gonna come out of this stronger,
并比以前更强大 更纯洁 更正直
purer, and more righteous than ever.
抱歉 你不能进来
Sorry, you can't be in here.
密使校长说我可以进来
Dean Cipher says that I can.
是谁她把弄成这样
Who could have done that to her?
她被发现时就这个样了 -在哪里
She was like this when they found her. -Where?
在新泽西州的一个地方 维霍肯
Someplace in Jersey. Weehawken?
维霍肯
Weehawken.
嘿 凯特
Hey, Cate.
我来了
I'm here.
好吗
All right?
你不是一个人
You're not alone.
他们见死不救扔下我 他们怎么能
They left me to die. How could they?
什么
What?
凯特 凯特 你能听到我说话吗 凯特 发生了什么事
Cate? Cate, can you hear me? Cate, what happened?
艾玛 救我 -艾玛
Emma, help me. -Emma?
请你出去
We need to go.
（市场营销院副院长）
跟你说实话
I got to tell you.
我从没想过能填补这个职位
I never thought we were gonna fill this position.
有两个应聘者 一个是卖♥♥沃特币的四流超人类
Two of the applicants were D-List Supes selling VoughtCoin.
另一个很可能是 某个邪教组织的合作管理人
And one I'm pretty sure co-ran NXIVM.
所以我接到你的电♥话♥的时候 激动坏了
When I got your phone call, I was thrilled.
但是我们的薪资可能不及 演员工会给你的重播版权费的一半
Now, look, we can't even pay half of what you earn on SAG residuals,
你的资历远远超过了这份工作
you're way over-qualified for this job--
我很高兴能回馈母校
I'm just happy I can give something back to my alma mater.
有幸成为戈多金大学史上 首个全员超能的教师团队的一份子
I mean, a chance to be in the first all-Super faculty in Godolkin history?
好吧
Okay.
我们合作 一定能做成大事
Hey, we're gonna do great things together.
对了 关于你儿子的事
And by the way, about your son,
我深表哀悼
my condolences.
你们俩的那个状况太可怕了
It's a terrible condition you both have.
你有心了
Thank you.
向不认识我的同学自我介绍一下
For those of you who don't know me,
我叫谦逊君主 我在2018年发起了“传统超人类运动”
I am Modesty Monarch and I started the TradSupe movement in 2018.
当时 我只有一个 在亚马逊买♥♥的环形灯和11个粉丝
At the time, I had an Amazon ring light and 11 followers.
后来这个情况彻底变了 凭的是我发布的那个走红视频
That all changed when I posted my now viral video
《在街上当超级英雄 在床上当小媳妇》
"Super in the Streets but Obedient in the Sheets."
有很多人希望看到 像我这样的超人类过着虔诚的生活
There was a hunger out there, to see Supes like me living a godly life.
什么狗屁 -我生儿育女 相夫教子
What the fuck? - I take care of my man, I give him babies,
连黄油都是自己做的
I churn my own butter,
我坚信女权主义毁了美国
and I firmly believe that feminism has ruined America.
当然了 那些不刮体毛 支持堕胎的女同都来攻击我
Of course, all the hairy, baby-killing lesbos came for me.
到我的第二个…
And when my second...
你觉得那些翅膀真能飞吗 还是像企鹅的一样只是个摆设
You think those wings actually work or is it more of a penguin situation?
…大红的时候 我就知道 我找到了我的天命
...went ultra-viral, I knew I'd found my calling.
你们也可以成功
This could be you, too.
不管你们的天命是时尚 信仰
Whether it's fashion, faith,
还是菊花被巨物深插
or sucking large objects up your ass.
但是 你们中的大多数人 除了少数几个守护者以外
Still, most of you... with a few Guardian exceptions,
都不在大网红之列
fall under the Macro Influencer category.
我是来帮助你们 突破百万粉丝这个上限的
I'm here to help you break that million-plus ceiling.
让我们帮你们成为顶流
Let's get you to go Mega.
好了 第一个作业
So, first assignment.
以凯特邓拉普受袭 这一可怕事件为主题
Create a video addressing the horrific attack on Cate Dunlap
做一个能体现你的平台风格的视频
that's on-brand for your platform.
去吧
艾玛
Emma?
我已经没有平台了
Uh, I don't, I don't have a platform anymore.
我好几个月没有发布新内容 所以我觉得这门课不适合我
Like, I haven't posted anything for months. So I don't think this class is for me.
先不说你在社交媒体上的
Aside from the fact that you still have
粉丝数量在整个校园里排第九
the ninth largest social media following on campus,
其实你还有一个 你没有意识到的超能力
you have a secret superpower.
你能激励男人
You can motivate and inspire men.
事实上 没有人想听 关于凯特残暴受袭的真♥相♥
Nobody wants to hear the hard truth about Cate's brutal attack.
但如果一个长相甜美 而且…
But when a beautiful, sweet, and--
我直说吧 “让人想操的超级英雄”说 必须不惜一切手段
yeah, I'll say it-- fuckable Superhero says that the Starlighters need to be hunted down
追捕那些星光粉
by any means necessary?
他们的爱国心一定会勃起 让他们誓将对抗正在毁灭这个国家的
They'll follow their patriotic erections into the fight
那些全球主义者和恋童癖者
against the globalists and pedophiles who are ruining this nation.
我不想引领男人的勃起
I don't want to influence erections.
我不想在任何地方引领任何事
I don't want to influence anything. Anywhere.
不过 谢谢夸奖
But thank you.
你上这门课并不只是因为 你有五百万粉丝
You're not just in this class because you have five million followers.
是校长要你上这门课
The dean wants you here.
你必须记住自己的首要任务 亲爱的…
You just have to remember your priorities, honey.
看你的社交媒体的那些人 不只是你的观众
The people who watch your socials aren't just your viewers,
他们是你的家人
they're you're family.
嘿 家人们
Hey, fam.
这些花很美 就像凯特的灵魂
These flowers are gorgeous. Like Cate's soul.
凯特是真正的勇士
Cate's a real warrior.
她的力量与勇敢给了我很大的激励
And I've learned so much from her strength and bravery.
别忘了在评论区写下 你们为凯特的祈祷 还要疯狂点赞哦
Uh, don't forget to send your prayers to Cate in the comments and smash that like button.
这是什么
The fuck is this?
密使给我的 -为什么
Cipher gave it to me. -Why?
可能是什么心理战术 我不知道
Outside of some weird head games, no clue.
如果安德烈有病 他肯定会告诉我们的
If Andre was sick, he'd have told us.
这些肯定是假的
I mean, this has to be fake.
密使在骗你
Cipher's fucking with you.
我真不知道
I don't know.
我觉得它是真的
I think it's real.
也就是说 安德烈移♥动♥那扇门 基本上相当于自杀
So when Andre tried to move that huge door, it was basically suicide.
而且他早就知道
And he knew it.
那个傻缺
That stupid son of a bitch!
我不知道他当时的想法 -你没有资格生他的气
I don't know what the hell he was thinking-- -No, you don't get to be mad at him.
对不起 -你为什么没有告诉我
I'm sorry. -Why didn't you tell me?
我本来要说的
I was going to.
对不起 我真的很抱歉
I'm sorry, I really am!
你感到抱歉不能改变任何事
Yeah, well, your sorry's not gonna change anything.
对我发火也不能
Neither is lashing out at me.
嘿 你们俩
Hey, you two. Marie.
玛丽 我是史黛丝 学生生活总管 很高兴认识你
Stacey, Student Life Director. Pleased to meet you.
校长要我对你多加关照 帮你好好安顿
The dean asked for me to keep an eye on you and help you settle in.
这是蜂蜜 要吗
It's honey. Want?
好啦 这是你的课程表和学生证
Anyhoo. Here's a schedule and student ID.
对了 英雄优化研讨会快开始了 你们俩要迟到了