离婚

Yes, and I have been single-handedly paying the mortgage on that house
在付那栋房♥子的抵押贷款
for the last eight years.
我把开画廊推迟了八年
I put opening my gallery on hold for eight years,
一直等待 而你做了这么多蠢事
waiting and waiting while you indulged this-- this folly.
你说蠢事吗
Folly, you say?
光是那两栋高尔夫球场的房♥子
Those two golf course houses alone
就会为我们带来三百万的盈利
are gonna net us three million in profit.
那是66%的ROI 投资回报率
That is a 66% ROI-- return on investment.
-我们一无所有 -我们会看到回报
- We have nothing! - We are going to see returns.
什么的回报 你和尼克搞的这个跳跳空间吗
On what? On this jumpy space thing you've got going with Nick?
-首先 那叫乐趣空间 -或者九栋
- First of all, it's called FunSpace... - Or the nine--
我们的九栋房♥子 每一栋都住不了人
nine homes we own, none of which can be lived in?
我不再为那谁的事内疚了
You know what? I am through feeling guilty about you-know-what.
-朱利安 -说实话
- Julian. - And frankly,
我不再为一切事情内疚了
I am through feeling guilty about everything.
我想要的呢 孩子们想要的呢
What about my wants? What about the kids' wants?
我们想要的对你来说不存在 从来没存在过
Our wants don't exist for you. They never have.
重点永远是罗伯特想要什么
It's-- it's always been about what does Robert want?
永远是罗伯特 从来不是你和孩子
Always about Robert and never about you or the kids.
真是胡扯
That is a bunch of bullshit!
天啊 真希望我们早点离婚
Oh, my God, I just wish we'd done this sooner.
不仅仅因为你是个金融大骗子 罗伯特
And it's not just about your massive financial fraud, Robert.
而是因为一切
It's about everything.
因为你撒尿时刷牙
It's about-- it's about you brushing your teeth
往马桶里吐痰
while you're taking a piss and spitting into the toilet.
因为你赌上了你孩子们的未来
It's about the fact that you gambled your kids' futures!
因为那愚蠢的胡子
It's about that ridiculous mustache.
因为你那低能的
And it is about your moronic
放屁机器人程序
farting robot routine.
我们约会时这没把我逗笑
It didn't amuse me when we were dating
现在这更加幼稚了
and it's even more infantile now.
安全警告
Security alert.
-我会揍你的 -离机器人远点
- I will punch you out! - Back away from robot.
-我对天发誓 -离机器人远点
- I swear to God. - Back away from robot.
该吃蛋糕了
Time for cake.
-真棒 -我在模仿机器人 你妈妈最喜欢了
- Yippee. - I was just doing your mom's favorite robot thing.
-瞧瞧这蛋糕 -是啊
- Oh, look at the cake. - Yeah.
祝你生日快乐
Happy birthday to you...
乐趣空间开业的时候
You know, obviously whenever FunSpace gets going,
能弥补一切财政漏洞
uh, you know, it's gonna make up for everything financially
-还有得赚 -嗯
- and then some. - Uh-huh.
然后就是幸福的日子又来了
And then, you know, it's happy days are here again
笙歌♥喧腾 大家都开开心心的
and strike up the band, all that kind of happy horse shit.
-是啊 -但相反
- Yeah, right. - But conversely,
我也感觉我想打爆自己的头
I also feel like I wanna blow my fucking head off.
-真的吗 -我感觉自己是个骗子 很失败
- Really? - I mean, I just feel like a fraud and a failure.
-好吧 -我会得出一个很好的结论
- Yeah, well-- - There's a really good argument to be made
我碰的一切都变得一团糟
that everything I touch turns to dog shit.
别自责了
Don't beat yourself up.
也许这是因为我多疑 托尼
And maybe this is the paranoia speaking, Tony,
但最近我觉得
but lately I get the sense
我的孩子们觉得我是个大混♥蛋♥
that my kids think I'm a massive douchebag.
矛盾就在于此
Therein lies the paradox.
觉得困惑是很自然的 对吧
Hey, look, it's perfectly natural to feel confused, right?
这是每个男人的生活中的一个阶段
This is the phase in every man's life
他想摆脱一个吃人的婊♥子♥
when he's trying to get out from under the thumb of a man-devouring bitch.
托尼 注意点
Oh, hey, you know, Tony, the language.
-她还是我孩子的妈妈 -去他的
- It's still my kids' mom. - Fuck that.
坚强点 我需要你出去
Toughen up a little bit. Look, I need you to go out there.
需要你坚强
I need you to be strong.
我需要你做的第一件事
And the first thing I need you to do?
我需要你去搞搞女人 好吗
I need you to go out and slay some serious pussy, all right?
-振作精神 -我一直在努力
- Come on, buck up. - I've been trying.
不如以前那么容易了
It's not as easy as it used to be.
就像是我在《男人健康》中读到的
You know, it's like what I read in "Men's Health," You know,
表现随意 女孩上门
about "Act cas and get vag."
去他的《男人健康》 看看这个
Fuck "Men's Health." Here, check this out.
日光浴沙龙 好吗 晒成可可色
Tanning salon, all right? Get that nice coco color going on.
体能训练 锻炼锻炼
CrossFit-- tighten up a little bit.
给我在保罗·史密斯的朋友打电♥话♥
Call my guy at Paul Smith,
脱掉这些脏衣服
get you out of those bullshit dirty rags.
给潘克赫斯特医生打电♥话♥ 要点伟哥
Call Dr. Pankhurst for some Viagra
帮你解决性腺功能低下症
and help with your low T.
看着我 给乔什打电♥话♥问支持小组的事
And look at me. Call Josh here about the support group, all right?
适用于生活和法律的男人♥权♥利
"Men's Rights as They Apply to Life and Law."
帮我个忙
Do me a fucking favor.
-剪个头发吧 拜托了 -好
- Get a goddamn haircut, please? - Oh, right, yeah.
我也许也该剃掉胡子是吧
I should probably get rid of the mustache, too, huh?
你开玩笑吗
What, are you kidding me?
那小妞吸引器是你身上
That bitch magnet's the only thing
唯一有效果的东西了
you got working for you right now.
留着 我跟你一起留
Keep it. I'll grow one with you, hmm?
今天真冷啊 下午好
Afternoon on this chilly day.
抱歉我有点"弯"了
Sorry I'm a little "Lake."
-稍等一会 -好
- Give me a moment here. - Sure.
抱歉 你的银行名字叫什么
I'm sorry, what's the name of your bank again?
你和理查德的
Yours and Richard's?
是罗伯特 大通银行[蔡斯]
Robert's. It's Chase.
罗伯特·蔡斯
Robert Chase?
-不是 -是大通啊
- No. No, no. - Chase!
大通曼哈顿银行
Chase Manhattan.
抱歉 我有点走神了
Sorry, my mind was up there in the-- with the crows for a second.
出墨啊 该死
Run, damn you.
不 是因为
No, it's 'cause--
笔帽没取下来
I think the cap is still on.
老灰马不如以往了
The old gray mare, she ain't what she used to be.
顺便说下 关于理查德的垃圾填埋场旁边的房♥产
Oh, incidentally, regarding Richard's landfill property,
根本没有高尔夫球场
there's no golf course there.
我让人去看过了 他只看见了一个坑
I had a boy run out. All he's got is a pit,
所以不管他说什么
so whatever he's been telling you--
不不 他没说高尔夫球场
No, no, no, no, no, he didn't say golf course.
他拥有的房♥子旁边那块土地
He-- he owns the property next to the land
紧靠...
that abuts the-- -
喂
Yes?
不 重新安排
No, reschedule.
我要回家睡午觉
I'm going home for a nap.
那我们就
Well, then we'll just
申请延期 抱乐观的希望吧
file for an extension and hope for the best.
很容易
Easy peasy.
马克斯 一切还好吗
Ma-- Max, is everything okay?
据我所示不错
As far as I know.
这里
Oh, here.
我来
Just gonna...
你把笔帽又盖回去了
It's just that you put the cap back on the pen.
你什么都没写
You're not writing anything.
抱歉 大曝光了
Sorry. Full disclosure.
我出了医疗事故
I've had a small medical emergency.
什么 很抱歉
What? I'm so sorry.
是不是突然发生的事
Did-- was it something that just came on suddenly?
的确是突然发生的 我中风了
Quite literally it came on suddenly. It was a stroke.
谢天谢地 只是小中风
Uh, just a ministroke, thank God.
天啊 那是 中风啊
Oh, jeez, wow. That's-- a stroke.
小中风
Mini.
你身体没事吧
And you're okay... physically and, you know...
还有别的方面
everything-- everything else?
不用担心 医生让我维持常规
Not to worry. The doctors told me to stick to my routine.
他们跟我说保持活跃是完全康复的关键
Keeping active is the key to a full recovery, they told me.
你觉得也许我们该
Do you think maybe we should, um,
推迟跟罗伯特还有他律师的见面吗
postpone the meeting with Robert and his lawyer?
弗朗西丝 放松
Frances, please relax.
我们会挺过去的