离婚

Excuse me, I'm sorry. Just-- it's just one more thing
先问个问题
before we get too far along.
你能告诉我
Um, can you--
你能告诉我这大概要花多少钱吗
can you just give me a sense of how much this is gonna cost?
那取决于你对"花"的定义 对吗
Well, that depends on your definition of cost, right?
因为你找了我 就等于找了个伙伴
Because with me, you get a partner.
我们会一起走过去
We walk through this together.
你不会摊上一个青少年暑假助理
You are not stuck with some teenage summer associate.
你的问题就是我的问题
Your problems are my problems.
所以要花很多钱
So, this is going to be quite costly.
是的
Yes.
但对比起你可能失去的财产
But compared with the assets you could lose,
这只是一部分
it's a mere fraction.
好吧
Okay.
我们继续吧
Yeah, yeah, let's do this.
首先 第一个问题
Preliminarily, issue one--
我不想感到惊讶
I never wanna be surprised,
所以你必须诚实告诉我
so you must be totally honest with me
他可能拿来攻击你的一切事情
about anything that he might use against you.
我出轨了
Well, I-- I cheated on him.
-有了外遇 -好吧
- I had an affair. - Okay.
那很普通 我们能搞定
That's common. We can get through that.
让无罪之人
"Let he who is without sin"--
而且 因为外遇
Also, because of the affair,
有时候我没能陪孩子
I missed some time with my kids.
很遗憾 但是可以理解
Regrettable, but understandable.
而且我现在不需要所有信息
Also, I don't need all of this right now...
我删掉了我知道罗伯特想看的节目
I've erased shows that I knew Robert wanted to watch
因为我觉得那很烦人 比如《冰路前行》
because I found them annoying, like "Ice Road Truckers."
我不知道那节目 但是
I don't know that program, but--
我亲了 不 实际上 我在朋友达拉斯的
I kissed-- no, actually, I fully made out
单身派对上跟一个男人亲热了
with this guy at my friend Dallas's bachelorette--
再说一次 发邮件寄给我就好
Again, just-- just put these in an email.
-都告诉我 -我从来没对罗伯特装过高♥潮♥
- Just shoot 'em off. - I've never faked an orgasm with Robert.
我是说 听起来也许很厉害 但不是
I mean, I-- it probably sounds impressive, but it's not.
很刻薄
It's mean.
我没高♥潮♥时
And when I didn't have one,
因为女人不是每次都有
because, you know, as a woman you don't always,
我会跟他讲清楚 我没高♥潮♥
I would make it clear to him that I didn't have one
他会觉得很内疚
and he would feel awful.
然后他会想补偿我
And then he would wanna make it up to me
通过那种方式 你知道的
by, you know, doing, you know.
我会说 算了 直接睡吧
And I would say, "Nah, let's just go to sleep."
我觉得我喜欢让他觉得无能
I think I enjoyed making him feel inadequate.
我是说 那只是
I mean, that's just at the top, you know--
我能脱口而出的事
off the top of my head.
如果你给我几分钟时间
I mean, if you give me a few minutes,
我肯定能想到更多
I'm sure I can think of more.
在家写下这一切吧
Just jot them all down at home...
好
Okay, okay.
下次过来时带上
and bring them with you the next time that I see you.
我知道得越多
The more that I know,
就越容易帮你得到应得的东西
the easier it is for me to get you what you deserve.
我应得什么
What do I deserve?
幸福啊
Happiness.
蓝钥匙是前门的
Blue key is for the front door,
粉钥匙是仓库的
pink key is for storage.
就这样 都是你的了 真令人激动
That's it. It's all yours. Exciting.
令人激动又吓人
It's exciting and terrifying.
也许你能砸掉这面墙
Hey, you know, maybe you could smash out this wall
买♥♥下隔壁的店铺
and buy the space next door, too.
-是啊 -你可以弄个咖啡馆
- Sure. - You could put a cafe in there.
我觉得现在我只能应付好画廊
Yeah, I think the gallery is all I can handle right now.
好吧 先从小店做起
Right, start really, really small,
然后扩张 做得特别一些
then expand and make it special.
这地方之前是做什么的
So, what was this place before?
去年这里是婚纱店 主要接待拉拉
Last year, it was a bridal shop primarily for lesbians.
在那之前是万圣节商店
And before that, it was a Halloween store.
在那之前是动物收养所
And before that, it was used for animal adoptions.
我之前不知道这事
Oh, I-- I was not previously aware of this.
这是那种超级多样化的地点
Oh, yeah, it's one of those super diverse locations
做什么都行
where just about anything can work.
-希望如此 -总之 恭喜
- Here's hoping! - Anyway, congratulations.
-祝你好远 -再见
- Good luck. - Bye.
再见
Good-bye.
这里好暗
It's so dark in here.
她带我来时这里光线很好
It was really sunny when she showed me the place.
我觉得她是故意的
I think she did that on purpose.
-我讨厌她 -拜托
- I hate her. - Oh, come on.
你可以做
You're getting to do
你一直想做的事了 艺术
what you always wanted to do-- the art stuff.
我忘了 我给你列了个清单
Ooh, I forgot. I made you a list.
我让尼克的业务经理列的
I had Nick's business manager put this together.
这都是我们买♥♥下画作的画家
These are all artists whose paintings we bought,
所以他们欠我一份人情 也就是说欠你一份人情
so they owe me one, which means they owe you one.
谢谢你 黛安
Thank you, Diane.
哇 嗯
Wow. Wowza, yes.
这都是有名的艺术家
These are big-time artists, yeah.
目前我还高攀不上
Sort of out of my league at this stage.
你们有两幅约翰·柯林的画吗
Wow, you guys have two John Currins?
很小的画 我都能放进口袋
Oh, just tiny, little ones. I could pop them in my pocket.
米奇·伯吉斯 他
Oh, Mickey Burgess, yeah. He's having, um--
他这周会在斯卡斯代尔的一家画廊办开幕
he's having an opening at a gallery in Scarsdale this week.
那他们肯定有开幕派对
Oh, I bet they're having an opening party, then.
我们该去
We should go! We should go!
拜托 我们绝对要去
Come on. We're totally gonna go.
-我会向米奇啥的介绍你 -作为什么
- I'll introduce you to Mickey what's-his-name. - As what?
这是我朋友弗朗西丝
"This is my friend Frances.
你应该认识她
It's really important you know her
因为她在前万圣节商店的地方
'cause she's opening a shitty little gallery
开了一家小画廊
at an ex-Halloween store."
抱歉 这是进步新娘吗
Uh, excuse me. Is this Progress Bridal?
不 这里现在是画廊了
Oh, no. It's an art gallery now.
你觉得她们真是拉拉吗
Do you think they're real lesbians?
我不知道她们为什么要假装
Well, I'm not sure why they would be pretending.
你找了马克斯·布罗德金吗 哎呀
You got Max Brodkin? Phoof!
-你叫我给他打电♥话♥的 -哎呀 我知道
- You told me to call him. - Phoof, I know.
但你能付得起那笔钱吗
But can you afford that kind of money?
什么 你叫我给他打电♥话♥的
What?! You told me to call him.
别说哎呀了
And stop saying "Phoof."
你说得对 不
Yeah. No, you're right. No, no.
他很厉害 可不是谁都接的
He's great and he doesn't take just anyone.
他代理了那个华尔街的人
He represented that guy on Wall Street
他老婆说他强迫她跟客户群♥交♥
whose wife said that he forced her to have group sex with clients.
我记得 那很糟糕
Yeah, I remember. That was an awful story.
不 我了解她 她喜欢
No, I knew her. She liked it.
总之 布罗德金帮那人分到了公♥寓♥
Anyway, Brodkin helped that guy keep his apartment
而她负债累累
and she ended up in debt prison,
所以你真幸运
so lucky you.
你什么时候又开始抽烟了
When did you start smoking again?
今早 科尔跟我说
This morning when Cole told me
他想跟继父住一起时
that he wants to go live with his stepfather.
不
Oh, no.
他空闲时间都在跟一个18岁的骚货一起
And he's spending all his free time with this 18-year-old hussy
她看起来像是已经怀了两次孕
who looks like she's been pregnant twice already.
所以我才给你打电♥话♥ 我得哭一场
That's really why I called. I just need to cry.
-你得哭一场吗 -是啊
- You need to cry? - Yeah.
你知道我没法一个人哭
You know that I can't cry just by myself.
我需要有人听我说 不然哭不出来
I need somebody to be listening or it just doesn't come.
因为你就是那样让你♥爸♥爸注意的
'Cause that's how you got your dad's attention, yeah.
对 我只是需要哭出来