开心汉堡店
Bob's Burgers S12E05
Part 1
Nov. 17, 2021, 4:25 p.m.
《开心汉堡店》第十二季第五集
恶"虫"特工
除虫害公♥司♥
所以为了完成这个生活技能的作业
So we got to find pretend jobs
我们要去找假想的工作
for this Life Skills project?
以及假想公♥寓♥
And a pretend apartment?
还要做假预算
And make a pretend budget?
为什么学校总想教我们东西
Why is school always trying to teach us stuff?
等我们长大 成为机器人DJ
I mean, when you and I grow up and become famous robo-DJs...
也就是半人半机械DJ
Half-human, half-robot...
我们就可以雇机器人来替我们做生存技能
We can hire full robots to do our life skills stuff for us.
所以我们不需要这种训练
We don't need this type of training.
我还挺喜欢这个项目 假装做预算
I like this project. Pretend budget money?
那就可以假装把想要的都买♥♥下来
We can pretend-buy whatever we want.
比如牙膏
Like toothpaste,
但是里面含糖的那种
but a kind with sugar in it.
有含糖的牙膏吗
Oh, is there a sugary toothpaste?
你把糖加进去就有了
There is if you add sugar to it.
又走过去一个
Oh, there goes another one.
瞧瞧人家那软弹的头发
Look at the hair, look at that bounce.
自从隔壁新开了美发院
Ever since that hair salon opened up next door,
你就默认每个路过的女性都是刚做完头发
you think every woman walking by just came from there.
她确实是 我看得出来
She did. I can tell.
她的步态就是在说
She's got that "I just got my hair done
"我刚在高级美发院做了头发"
at a fancy salon" Walk.
要是你真的对那里这么好奇
If you're so curious about that place,
怎么不亲自去探探
why don't you just go in?
稍微修一下之类的
Get a trim or whatever.
-选最不贵的那种 -不行
- Their-their least expensive trim. - I can't.
我在格雷琴那儿做头发好多年了
Gretchen's been doing my hair for years,
我不能背叛她
and I would never.
-好吧 -我甚至不想被她知道
- Okay. - I don't even want her
我在往那边看 我可没看
to know I'm looking, which I'm not.
就算是一年前在别人那里修了头发
Gretchen knows if you so much as got a trim
格雷琴也看得出来
in the last year from someone else.
乔治娅 有一阵没见过你了
Haven't seen you in a while, Georgia.
-你的刘海不错 -谢谢
- Your bangs look nice. - Oh, thanks.
是谁剪的
Who did this?!
这不算数的 不算数
It was nothing, it was nothing.
-只是修了一小下 -出去 给我出去
- It was a-a tiny trim. I was... - Out! Out!
从我的椅子上起开
Get out of my chair!
该你了 琳达
Okay, Linda. You're up.
而且我喜欢去格雷琴那里
Besides, I like going to Gretchen's,
尽管有时候她会在
even though sometimes she smokes a cigarette
给我做头发前抽烟
right before she does my hair
搞得我的头发一股烟味
and it makes my hair smell like cigarettes.
还有次她剪到了我的耳朵
And one time she cut my ear,
但她假装伤口是我来之前就有的
but she pretended it was already cut.
她称之为我的"血耳问题"
She called it my "Bleeding ear problem."
总之 她超棒的 我超满意
I mean, she's great! I-I'm-I'm perfectly happy.
她听不见你
I-I don't think she can hear you.
这你可说不准
You never know.
怎么了
Wha... What's the matter?
-怎么了 亲爱的 -你还好吗 吉恩
- What's the matter, sweetie? - Are you okay, Gene?
阴毛
Pube... !
我觉得是胸毛
I think that's a chest hair,
严格来说并不是阴毛
not technically a pube,
除非你的裆有那么长
unless you have a really long crotch.
真谢谢您 蒂娜
Thanks a lot, Tina.
我看就是你把青春期传染给我的
I bet I caught puberty from you.
我还没准备好长大
I'm not ready to be an adult!
一转眼 我就会变成
Before you know it, I'm gonna be a pile of dust and bones
抱着电萨克斯的骨灰
holding onto an electric saxophone probably!
就好像学校的生活技能作业还不够
As if the Life Skills thing at school wasn't enough,
现在连我的身体都在让我快快长大
now my own sweet body is telling me to grow up.
阴毛滚远点 我才不要养老金
Go away, pube. I don't want a 401K!
-吉恩 -那不是胸毛
- Gene. - It's not a pube.
吉恩 其实除了体毛
You know, Gene, besides the body hair
长粉刺 有腋臭
and pimples and armpit odor
情绪波动 脖子出汗 青春期还是不错的
and mood swings and neck sweat, puberty's great.
吉恩的阴毛为什么是灰色的
Why is Gene's pube gray?
就连我的青春期也过得飞速
Even my puberty is growing up too fast!
轻轻松松就拿下来了
That didn't put up much of a fight.
对上了 老爸的毛
IT'S A MATCH: old man gray.
一定是今早我给爸惊喜浴室抱抱时
Dad's chest hair must have stuck on me this morning
他的胸毛粘在我身上了
when I gave him his surprise shower-hug.
你每天都这样 其实算不上惊喜
It's not really a surprise when you do it every single day.
谢天谢地 我没长阴毛
Oh, thank God I'm not pube-ing out.
我还是一个帅气的小男孩
I'm still a beautiful baby boy.
对 没错 你就是
Yes, you are. Yeah.
其实 你算少年
Actually, you're a tween.
不是小男孩 也还没出落成女人
Not a boy, not yet a woman.
我才不是什么"少年"
I'm not "Tween" Anything.
我妥妥地还属于儿童
I'm securely in the child column.
妈 我今晚要多吃一份鸡肉
Mother, I'm gonna need extra chicken at dinner.
这一出可把我吓坏了
This shook me to my core.
我还以为我失去你了 光滑的皮肤
I thought I lost you, smoothie.
我列了假想采购清单
So, I made a pretend grocery list.
也开始物色我们的理想公♥寓♥
And I started looking for our dream apartment:
两卧一卫 还要有水滑道
two bedroom, one bathroom and water slide.
我们可以这周每天放学后在我家碰面
We can meet at my house every day after school this week
规划我们的理想生活
and build our dream lives.
真不敢相信你会喜欢这个活动
I can't believe you're enjoying this.
-我要疯了 -这个活动没那么糟
- I'm freaking out! - It's not so bad.
被阴毛吓到的又不是你
You're not the one who had the pube scare.
我们的童年正在飞逝 凭什么要我们
Our childhoods are zipping by, and we're just expected
突然某天醒来 就穿上大男孩的长裤
to wake up one day and put on big-boy pants?
我讨厌长裤
I hate pants!
这个要算成绩 所以...
We're getting graded on this, so...
你假工作找得怎么样了
how's the fake job hunt going?
你没听到吗 亚历克斯
Did you hear me, Alex?
我刚经历假阴毛暴击
I had an almost-pube!
我没时间去找工作
I haven't had time to job-hunt.
你应该去看看社区中心的招聘栏
You should check out the job board at the community center.
我就是在那找到了假想工作 电♥话♥推销员
That's where I found my pretend telemarketing gig,
每小时工资9大洋
which pays nine big ones an hour,
外加小额佣金 我也不知道那是什么
plus a small commission, whatever that means.
我猜应该是黄金
I assume it means gold.
好吧 我会去看看招聘栏
Fine. I'll go look at the job board,
但我不会将就
but I'm not gonna just settle for anything.
我要全套福利 还有12周的假期
I need full benefits and 12 weeks of vacation.
我知道我值这个价
I know what I'm worth.
亨利·哈肯布♥什♥活动中心
看来我必须得长大了
Well, time to grow up, I guess.
你俩可以回家了
You two should head home.
露易丝 你还年轻
Louise, you still have your youth.
去享受童年吧
Get out there and just be a kid.
蒂娜 你已经晚了
And, Tina, it's too late for you.
但请你迈向死亡的同时 照顾好露易丝
But take care of Louise as you trudge towards death.
-好吧 -好吧
- Okay. - Okay.
风景园林 建造
Landscaping? Construction?
这些听起来太室外了
Those sound so outside-y.
杂货店在招人 不过要做药检
Grocery store is hiring, but they drug-test.
-格斯 -你在找工作吗
- Oh, hi, Gus. - Looking for work, eh?
是个很蠢的作业 让我们为成人生活作准备
It's for a dumb school project to prepare us for adulthood.
但我想像洛·史都华唱的那样
But I want to be, like Sir Rod Stewart once said,
英国摇滚歌♥手
-"永远永远年轻" -我懂你意思
- "Forever, forever young." - I hear you.
保持年轻的最好方法是做年轻的事
The best way to stay young is to do young things.
所以我开始练瑜伽了
That's why I started doing yoga.
现在我能摸到膝盖了
Now I can touch my knees.
社区中心的所有资金来源都是捐款
And everything at the community center is donation-based.
也就是说 全免费
开心汉堡店
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