直言无讳（2015）

Blunt Talk S01E01

Part 3 Sept. 11, 2020, 11:39 a.m.

淘气的
naughty...
男孩
boy!
"格特鲁德格特鲁德新仇旧恨啊
"O Gertrude, Gertrude, when sorrows come they come not single spies,
齐上心头"
but in battalions!"
布伦特先生
Mr. Blunt...
你昨晚最过分的是
On top of everything else you pulled last night,
居然站到你的古董捷豹的车顶
you managed to stand on the roof of your vintage Jag.
你是磕得有多嗨
How high were you?
我知道这看上去很糟糕鲍勃
I know it looks bad, Bob.
但我求你今晚让我直播吧
But I beg you, let me on the air tonight.
让我当着美国人的面为自己辩护
Let me plead my case to the American people.
不行我为什么要答应你
No. Why should I?
因为我将过去的五年光阴都献给了你
Because I have given you the last five years of my life.
我不在乎沃尔特
I don't care, Walter.
你正面临重罪指控
You are facing felony charges.
而且连着几个月你的收视率都低得一塌糊涂
Your ratings have been shit for months
你的大脑额叶也变成了葡萄干
and your frontal lobes have turned to raisins.
唯一剩下的优势就是你的口音了
All that's left is your accent.
不能光因为收视率下滑
Just because a man's ratings slip
就认为一个人的大脑额叶萎缩
doesn't mean his frontal lobes are dissolving.
那要是我
What if I--
要是我找个神父上直播来赦免我呢
what if I had a priest absolve me on air?
拉比犹太教里对知识渊博的智者的尊称
-你酒还没醒呢吧 -拉比怎么样
- Are you still drunk? - Rabbi?
真的假的你可是咱们电视网的门面
Seriously? You are the face of this network.
我要把你的广♥告♥牌撤下来
I'm going to take your billboard down.
别别
No! No.
鲍勃那
Bob, how about...
我用我的捷豹
what if I gave you my Jaguar
换一次直播怎么样
in exchange for one more broadcast?
我见过你在停车场看它的眼神
I've seen the way you look at her in the parking lot.
加德纳同意让我直播了
Gardner is letting me on the air.
胡说我才不相信你
Bullshit. I don't believe you.
为什么不他最讲理了
Why? He's a perfectly reasonable man.
我们交谈得很愉快但出于保险考虑
We had a good talk. But they need me to see a shrink
他们要我去看看心理医生
for insurance reasons.
如果你愿意我可以教你怎么骗过医生
If you want, I know how to mislead therapists.
我父亲是个格式塔心理学家
My dad's a Gestaltian.
没事的吉姆
That won't be an issue, Jim.
他们以为我有前额叶损伤
They think my frontal lobes are shot,
这太荒唐了
which is ludicrous!
昨天我还做了《泰♥晤♥士♥报♥》的填字游戏
I mean, only yesterday I did the "Times" crossword.
那还是个星期四
And it was a Thursday.
沃尔特恐怕还有更多的坏消息
Walter, I'm afraid I've got some more bad news.
被你踢的那个警♥察♥睾丸破裂了
The cop that you kicked has ruptured testicles.
那是不是说他不能有孩子了
Does that mean he can't have children?
我不知道睾丸破裂后会怎么样
I don't know. What happens to testes when they've been shattered?
你们觉得会和鸡蛋裂开一样吗
Do you think it's like cracking an egg?
说来挺奇怪的鸡蛋和睾丸确实挺像
It's weird 'cause eggs are quite like testicles.
谁上网搜一下睾丸破裂
Somebody Google ruptured testicles.
-我在查了 -我在查了
- I'm on it. - I'm on it.
好的今晚的节目
Okay, tonight's program.
我觉得我们得说明事情发生的经过
I think we have to address what happened.
美国电视新闻第♥一♥夫♥人♥
我们应该找芭芭拉·沃尔特斯来采访我
I think we should get Barbara Walters to interview me.
我很容易就哭出来了她会喜欢的
I cry easily. She'll love that.
美国著名访谈主持人
-她绝对不会来的 -查理·罗斯
- She'll never do it. - Charlie Rose.
你在那次白宫记者招待会上怠慢了他
You snubbed him at the White House Correspondents' Dinner
然后他发了封很愤怒的电子邮件过来
and he sent an emotional email.
对了是的你说得对
Oh, God, yes. You're right.
英国著名记者 2013年去世
大卫·弗洛斯特
David Frost.
-死了 -见鬼
- Dead. - Shit.
沃尔特睾丸破裂确实会导致不育
Walter, ruptured testicles can cause infertility.
老天啊
God.
他们会说我阉♥割♥了一位警♥察♥
They'll say I castrated a policeman.
沃尔特你要抱抱吗
Walter, do you want to spoon?
要那会让我很安心
Yes. That would be very reassuring.
谢谢罗莎莉
Thank you, Rosalie.
沃尔特这次能让我来抱抱你吗
Walter, could I spoon with you this time?
我已经是高级制♥作♥人了
I mean, I am a senior producer.
那很不合适
It would be inappropriate.
罗莎莉已经跟了我二十年了
Rosalie has been with me for 20 years.
当然抱歉
Course. Sorry.
但我们该怎么办
But what are we going to do?
要是我们能找奥普拉来平息这一切就好了
If only we could get Oprah to make all this go away.
沃尔特我绝对相信你
Walter, I believe in you absolutely,
但这次你只能独自面对这一切了
but you're just gonna have to go out there on your own.
让我来刺♥激♥一下你的才智源泉
Let me stimulate your intellect.
我想出办法了
I've got it!
我不用独自一人去面对
I don't have to be alone out there.
我有沃尔特·布伦特和我一起
I'll have Walter Blunt with me.
我要做一个自我访谈
I'll do a self interview.
我的丑闻由我自己来报道独家消息
I will get the exclusive on my own scandal.
怎么了马丁
Yes, Martin?
你会像腹语者那样和自己说话吗
Will you talk to yourself like a ventriloquist?
那种用你的手控制一个小沃尔特布偶
You know, with your hand inside a little Walter?
不马丁
No, Martin.
我们把屏幕分成两半
We'll split the screen,
我们可以先把问题录好
We'll tape the questions beforehand.
长官公♥司♥的心理医生在你办公室
Major, the network psychiatrist is in your office
等着见你他已经开始了
wants to see you. He's on the clock.
该死开始准备问题
Damn it. Start preparing the questions.
还有确保我的律师找到施普隆·吉赛尔
And someone make sure that my lawyer has Sprung Gisele.
沃尔特沃尔特
Walter. Walter.
你确定要做这个自我审问的节目吗
Are you sure you want to do this whole self-interrogation thing?
这样做也许让人觉得你有点疯了
I think it just might make you seem a little crazy.
不不我把这当做是一种假想
No, no, I see it as a vision.
两个自我的对话就像布努埃尔的电影
My two selves talking like a Bunuel movie.
我现在最大的问题是太累了
No, my biggest concern is fatigue.
我简直一团糟
I'm totally fucked.
给你
Here.
吃点这个
Take these.
-这是不夜神 -不夜神是什么
- It's Provigil. - What's Provigil?
有点像兴♥奋♥剂♥ 非常有效
It's a kind of speed. It's very effective.
我之前对这个超级上瘾
I used to be wildly addicted.
但是我已经好多了差不多吧
But, um, I'm better now. Sort of.
谢谢我一直挺喜欢用兴♥奋♥剂♥的
Well, thank you. I've always enjoyed uppers.
好吧
All right.
-抱歉 -没事
- Sorry. - That's no problem.
你总是自带沙发吗医生
Do you always bring your own couch, Doctor?
是的因为我是弗洛伊德学派的
Yes. I'm a Freudian.
到底是怎么回事昨晚发生了什么
So, what's going on? What happened last night?
坦白讲我是喝高了
To be frank, I'm drinking more than I should.
我刚离了第四次婚
Recently divorced for the fourth time.
还有抚养权的问题
There are custody issues.
我们有个五岁大的男孩
We have a five-year-old boy.
你前妻多大了
And how old is your ex-wife?
她三十五岁
She's 35.
真棒
That's very nice.
还有其他什么事情
And what else may have contributed
让你做出昨晚那样的行为吗
to last night's behavior?
我想
I think,
我很抱歉
I'm sorry.
我觉得有点头晕医生
I'm feeling a bit woozy, Doctor.
可能是因为压力大或者口语焦虑
Probably stress. Or oral anxiety.
-口语焦虑吗 -有可能
- Oral anxiety? - Could be.
你刚才想说什么
What were you going to say?
我只是
It's just that...
我真的非常害怕会失去我的节目
I'm very, very frightened I will lose my show
因为我觉得我肯定是属于那类
because I think I will be one of those people