直言无讳（2015）

Blunt Talk S02E01

Part 1 Sept. 11, 2020, 11:57 a.m.

直言布讳
《直言布讳》前情提要
Previously on Blunt Talk.
-今晚的《直言布讳》 -所有人所有人
- Tonight on Blunt Talk-- - Everybody! Everybody!
这是劫持但是请保持冷静
This is a takeover, but stay calm.
我家长官描述过精彩的性高♥潮♥
The major described a good orgasm
就像一颗红色彗星后面跟着一片黑洞
like a red comet followed by a black abyss.
你是这么长时间里我遇到过的最善良的男人
You were the nicest guy I've met in a long time.
大家晚安
Good night, everyone.
泰迪有表现出老年痴呆的症状吗
Is Teddy showing signs of dementia?
我很享受跟你共度时光
I really like spending time with you.
你知道的社交上的或者也不是
You know, socially or not.
你想不想那个...干点上次干的事
You want to, you know, like last time?
-罗莎莉这是罗莎莉 -什么
- Rosalie, this is Rosalie. - What?
你在和莫比混♥蛋♥约会吗
Are you dating Moby-Dick?
他只是莫比没有混♥蛋♥
It's just Moby, no Dick.
是的我们在约会
And, yes, I am.
你们啥时候开始的
When did this happen?
沃尔特我们离婚了这不关你的事
Walter, we're divorced. It's none of your business.
真希望能拥有你这样的胸部
I wish I had your breasts.
西莉亚雪莉
Celia, Shelly.
这才早上九点半
It's only 9:30 in the morning.
直言不讳
别这么紧哈里
Not so tight, Harry.
这是领带不是绳结
It's a necktie, not a noose.
-我的大脑需要氧气 -是吗长官
- My brain needs oxygen. - It does, Major?
-别激怒我哈里 -是长官
- Don't provoke me, Harry. - Yes, Major.
我改了达♥赖♥喇♥嘛♥亲子乐故事沃尔特
I made the changes to the Dalai Lama paternity story, Walter.
谢谢你马丁你的头发怎么回事
Thank you, Martin. What have you done to your hair?
我女朋友喜欢中心部分
My girlfriend likes a center part.
现在由她来负责打扮我
She's in charge of my look now.
这是关于爆♥炸♥的要点
Here are the talking points on the bombing.
谢谢你雪莉
Thank you, Shelly.
你闻上去真♥相♥ 沃尔特
You smell good, Walter.
我喜欢你不喷除臭剂时的味道
I like when you don't wear deodorant.
-我喷了除臭剂 -我接受
- I am wearing deodorant. - And I applied it.
吉姆西莉亚别亲了
Jim, Celia, stop that.
很可能会感染链球菌性喉炎
There's a lot of strep throat about.
你说得对沃尔特我不知道我们在想什么
You're right, Walter. I don't know what we were thinking.
对不起沃尔特
I'm so sorry, Walter.
真希望吉姆愿意让你找其他人
I wish Jim would let you see other people.
我只要一周一晚
All I want is one night a week.
-我能让你快活上好几个小时 -雪梨
- I'd go down on you for hours. - Shelly!
这就是我的头号♥精英团队我爱你我爱你
There's my number one team. I love you, I love you.
我爱你我爱你我爱你我爱你
I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.
我特别爱你
And I especially love you.
鲍勃拜托
Bob, please.
罗莎莉鲍勃刚刚又拍了我的屁♥股♥
Rosalie, Bob just struck me on the ass again.
你能和他谈谈吗
Will you have a word with him about it?
她说这是为了沾上好运
He says it's for good luck.
十分钟后开始沃尔特
We're on in 10, Walter.
-祝你节目成功 -谢谢
- Have a great show. - Thank you.
该死
Oh, shit.
五四三
Five, four, three,
二一
two, one.
该死
Shit.
沃尔特·布伦特
晚上好欢迎收看《直言布讳》
Good evening. Welcome to Blunt Talk.
此时此刻我是沃尔特·布伦特
I am Walter Blunt right here, right now.
《直言布讳》
我们喜欢当第一
沃尔特·布伦特
Walter Blunt?
你怎么在公交上你被砍了吗
What you doing on the bus, man? You got canceled?
没有先生
No, sir.
只是想做一名负责任的公民
Just trying to be a responsible citizen.
我们的世界很危险
Our world is in peril.
好吧
Right. All right, okay.
做好了
All done.
我一直在想时间的本质长官
I been thinking about the nature of time, sir.
-什么哈里 -是的先生
- Again, Harry? - Yes, sir.
我们对于时间的感受就像织帽子
Our experience of time is like the knitting of a hat.
每一针就像我们人生中的一天
Each pass of the needle is a day in one's life
帽子完成之时就是听天命之时
and the finished hat is an obituary.
一针一线
A summing up, an accounting.
-就像每时每刻 -不可能
- An epigraph and an epitaph. - It can't be.
-科妮莉亚 -长官
- Cornelia! - Major?
是科妮莉亚
It's Cornelia.
科妮莉亚
Cornelia!
停车停车
Stop the bus. Stop the bus!
我是沃尔特·布伦特
I'm fucking Walter Blunt!
长官
Major!
我的毛线
Oh, my knitting!
长官怎么了
Major, what's going on?
我看到了科妮莉亚哈里
I saw Cornelia, Harry.
我确定就在洛杉矶
I'm sure of it. Here in LA.
什么
What?
现在我跟丢了她
And now I've lost her.
再一次
Again.
科妮莉亚
Cornelia.
对不起长官
I'm sorry, sir.
"每个灵魂都应该为
"Then each soul shall be paid
自己的所作所为付出代价"
what it has earned."
故事结束
The end.
《古♥兰♥经♥》读完了长官
Well, that finishes the Koran, Major.
很好哈里
Very good, Harry.
谢谢你
Thank you.
《古♥兰♥经♥》《圣经》
The Koran, the Bible,
《摩西五书》
the Torah.
我的教育差不多完成了
My education is nearly complete.
孔子呢
What about Confucius?
他是大纲上的下一项
He's next on the syllabus, sir.
每个灵魂都应该为
And each soul shall be paid
自己的所作所为付出代价
what it has earned.
你的药长官
Your medicine, Major.
不谢谢长官
Oh, no, thank you, Harry.
刚读完《古♥兰♥经♥》我不想
It doesn't feel right to drink so soon
这么快喝
after finishing the Koran.
对我...
Oh, yes, I...
我明白你的意思长官
I see your point, sir.
我一直在想着科妮莉亚
I keep thinking about Cornelia.
真的是他吗还是我疯了
Could it have been her or am I insane?
你没有疯长官
You're not insane, sir.
但也许一旦涉及到科妮莉亚
But perhaps when it comes to Cornelia,
你内心中还是有一丝疯狂的
there is still a touch of lunacy inside you.
所以我觉得是你的幻觉
So I think it was an illusion.
也许你说的没错
You're probably right.
我一直用眼角的余光在寻找
I'm forever looking out of the corner of my eye in crowds.
"是她吗是她吗"
"Is that her? Is that her?"
我不会再那样爱别人了
I will never love like that again.
该死哈里把药给我
Oh, fuck it, Harry. Give me my medicine.
好的长官
Right away, sir.
我注定要孤独终老吗哈里
Is it my destiny to die alone, Harry?
只要有你在身边长官
Not as long as I'm around, Major.
不好意思沃尔特
Excuse me, Walter,
但是哈里你能上♥床♥了吗
but, Harry, can you come to bed?
我很孤独我很犹豫我很饥渴
I'm lonesome, I'm blue, I'm horny.
马上来亲爱的
Right away, darling.
晚安长官
Good night, Major.
医生说我长了六块息肉
The doctor said I had six polyps.
看起来像小拳击袋他给我看了图片
They look like little punching bags. He showed me a picture.
拳击袋不是气球
Punching bags? Not balloons?
不是拳击袋是遗传性的
No, punching bags. It's a hereditary thing.
你得让吉姆去做一个结肠镜检查
You have got to get Jim to go have a colonoscopy.