直言无讳（2015）

Blunt Talk S01E04

Part 1 Sept. 11, 2020, 11:40 a.m.

《直言不讳》前情提要
Previously on Blunt Talk.
我刚离了第四次婚
I'm recently divorced for the fourth time.
还有抚养权的问题
There are custody issues.
你前妻多大了
And how old is your ex-wife?
她三十五岁
She's 35.
真棒
That's very nice.
-你的咖啡 -谢谢
- Here's your coffee. - Thanks.
你们从哪找到的马克杯
Where'd you get those mugs?
我在厨房♥里只找到这些纸杯
All I found in the kitchen were these paper cups.
还有吉姆昨天剩的寿司被我吃掉了
Oh, and Jim's sushi from yesterday, which I ate.
那可不是昨天剩的
That wasn't from yesterday.
你结婚了吗
Are you married?
你今天又送那个年轻人回家了是吗
Did you give that young man a ride home again?
是的我跟他说了我的婚姻是开放式的
I did. I told him we have an open marriage.
我遇到了一个女人就在全食超♥市♥的沙拉吧
I met a woman, you know, at the salad bar at Whole Foods.
你前天晚上跟我说过她了
You told me about her two nights ago.
是吗
I did?
我要做全美观众更好的父亲
I need to be a better father to the American people.
当然对我儿子来说也是如此
And, of course, to my own children.
哈里你在啊
Oh, Harry, there you are.
是的长官
Yes, Major.
看来我在桌底下待了有一会儿了
It appears I went below deck for a little while.
哈里你刚不在的时候我一直在想
I've been thinking, Harry, while you were gone.
喝酒只会让我们更悲伤而不是更开心
Drinking makes us sadder, not happier.
你注意到这点了吗
Have you noticed that?
是的长官我也注意到了
Yes, Major. I have noticed.
你是什么时候注意到的
For how long have you noticed?
过去十年断断续续注意到
Off and on for the last 10 years.
我只有喝到第四杯酒才会感觉
Well, it's only after the fourth drink
人生瞬间黯淡
that things turn bleak.
既然我现在参加互诫会
But now that I'm going to AA,
我觉得我们都应该少喝点了
I think we should start cutting back.
你说得很有道理长官
That would be prudent, sir.
哈里
Harry.
怎么了长官
Yes, Major?
我很害怕明天的到来
I'm very scared about tomorrow.
我知道你非常恐惧长官
I know your fears seem real, Major,
但让我来告诉你有多勇敢
but let me remind you who you are.
你曾采访过世界政要
You've interviewed world dignitaries.
你曾从飞机上跳下来
You've jumped out of airplanes.
你曾两次得了疟疾和带状疱疹
You've had malaria and shingles twice.
你曾在战场上负过伤
You've been wounded in battle.
你还在战场上救了我的命
And you saved my life in battle.
你可以把我当成是极为爱戴你的五岁小孩
So I think you can face a five-year-old boy who loves you.
谢谢你哈里
Thank you, Harry.
西湖幼儿园
只有洛杉矶的幼儿园才有代客泊车服务
Only in Los Angeles would you have valet parking at a preschool.
是的长官
Yes, sir.
哈里我们到底选对了吗
Harry, did we make the right choice?
穿上这件外套够有父亲的模样了吗
Is this jacket paternal enough?
今天是我作为更称职父亲的第一天
Today is day one of being a better father.
好了他们来了
Okay, there they are.
靠
Shit.
这什么鸡♥巴♥破车
Fucking dickhead car.
薇薇安伯蒂
Vivian! Bertie!
是爸爸
Oh, it's Daddy.
沃尔特·布伦特
Walter Blunt!
对了
Oh, you know,
你该叫我爸爸伯蒂
you can call me Dad, Bertie.
观众们才叫我沃尔特·布伦特
You know? Walter Blunt is for the public.
薇薇安
Hi, Vivian.
没想到你真的来了
Hi. I'm surprised you made it.
我当然得来
Well, of course I made it.
我收到邮件了
I got the email.
我还报了"故事角"的志愿者
I volunteered for story corner.
我要念一则非常精彩的故事
I have got a thrilling passage to read.
我刚是闻到了酒味吗
Um, did I just smell alcohol on your breath?
只是须后水
Aftershave.
给吃两粒
Here. Take two.
走吧
Come on.
直言布讳
咱们的咖啡杯都怎么了
What's happened to all our coffee mugs?
-太诡异了 -可不是嘛好奇怪
- It's weird. - I know, it's confusing.
同志们我能跟你们说点事么
Guys, can I tell you something personal
有点隐私有点基有点小烦恼
and strange and homoerotic that's bothering me?
快说我最好这口了
Please. I love that kind of stuff.
-我也是 -昨天晚上我做梦
- Yeah, me, too. - Well, last night I dreamt that--
吉姆你看了我那个大便干结治疗
Jim, did you see the new cut of my segment
的最新剪辑了吗
on fecal impaction therapy?
我看了挺好玩的
I did. It was very interesting.
抱歉我得去找下编辑
Um, I'm sorry. I got to get to the edit.
马丁你改天再给我讲你那个基腐小故事
Martin, we'll talk about your homoerotic story later.
吉姆别把那个删了
Jim, don't kill the piece.
大便干燥治疗是有益于免疫系统的
Fecal impaction therapy is good for the immune system.
吉姆人力资源部的特伦斯来电♥话♥了
Jim, Terrence from HR called.
他让你去一趟他办公室
He wants you to come to his office.
-就那大哥大 -没错
- The big guy? - Yeah.
靠
Shit.
直言布讳
*坚持做自己但若你能当独角兽*
*Always be yourself, but if you can be a unicorn*
*坚持做只独角兽*
*always be a unicorn*
*就是你*
*Just the men*
*坚持做自己但若你能当独角兽*
*Always be yourself, but if you can be a unicorn*
*坚持做只独角兽*
*always be a unicorn*
-跳起来 -他真是太萌了
- Jumping! - He's so cute.
伯蒂的声音最好听了
Bertie's voice is the most beautiful.
真的是啊
Well, it is.
我知道沃尔特大家都在听呢
I know, but people are trying to listen, Walter. Shh.
*坚持做自己但若你能当独角兽*
*Always be yourself, but if you can be a unicorn*
*坚持做只独角兽*
*Always be a unicorn*
这里有没有独角兽呀
Are there any unicorns here?
有
Yeah!
这里有没有独角兽呀
Are there any unicorns here?
有
Yeah!
谢谢非常感谢
Thank you. Thank you so much.
我一辈子都在从事音乐工作
I've been a musician for my entire life
说实话这次既是我的精彩瞬间
and honestly, this is both
也是我事业的精彩时刻
a personal highlight and a career highlight.
我没太懂这个傻♥逼♥是谁
I don't get it. Who is this idiot?
他是摇滚歌♥星莫比
It's Moby the rock star.
-啥 -摇滚歌♥星莫比
- What? - Moby the rock star.
-莫比 -莫比
- Moby? - Moby.
就那个混♥蛋♥莫比吗
Like Moby-Dick?
沃尔特有他是韦斯特莱克的荣幸
Walter, Westlake is very lucky to have him.
-是吗 -是的
- Yeah? - Yeah.
你说他是不是自己给自己取的名字
Do you think he named himself?
如果你们愿意继续请我
And if you'll have me back,
我很愿意明年还来
I'd love to come back next year
继续我在
and continue my tenure
威斯特莱克幼儿园的音乐生涯
as musician in residence here at Westlake Preschool.
再来一次
One more time!
*永远做自己但如果你能成为独角兽*
*Always be yourself, but if you can be a unicorn*
*永远做一只独角兽*
*Always be a unicorn*
原地转圈
Run in circles!
马丁
Martin?
不是我不是马丁
No, it's me. Not Martin.
泰迪你来这儿干吗呀
Teddy, what are you doing here?
我就不能为我美丽的妻子送束花吗
Can't I bring my lovely wife flowers?
我又把钥匙丢了
I lost my keys again.
天哪怎么可能
Oh, no, how is this possible?
我也不知道
I don't know.