坏老师（2014）

Bad Teacher S01E02

Part 2 April 21, 2021, 10:25 a.m.

I think it will be better if you don't date my dad.
我觉得你最好还是别跟我爸约会
That's so weird-- for a second I thought she said
太奇怪了有那么一刻我以为她说
don't date her dad.
别跟她爸约会
Hey, Irene, what's up?
艾琳你好啊
Uh, I need your help.
我需要你帮忙
I finally filled out my online dating profile
我终于提交了网上交友资料
and I have my first date tomorrow at lunch.
初次约会是明天午餐
His profile name is TvWatcher359.
他的网名叫"看电视的人359"
Apparently I was not a match with TvWatcher one through 358.
显然我跟看电视的人1到358号♥没对上眼
But you don't seem too excited.
你好像不是很激动
Well, Ginny told me that online dating is dangerous
金妮说网上交友很危险
and that I should go to Sears and get my portrait done
她还让我去百货公♥司♥拍个大头照
so that I have a cute picture
这样我就有好看的照片
for the "In Memoriam" Section of next year's yearbook.
放进明年年鉴册里的"缅怀"板块上了
You know what? She's just being dramatic.
她太抓马了
Okay, but maybe you could just teach me
好吧但是以防万一
some self-defense moves just in case.
你能不能教我点防身术
You know, I do a little online dating, right?
我有时也会网上交友
And I-I haven't murdered or tried to murder once.
但我也没杀过人或是企图想杀人啊
You just gotta stay alert and be aware of your surroundings.
你只要保持警惕注意周围环境就好
Okay, yeah.
好的
I can do that.
我能做到
Yeah. Thanks, Joel. No problem.
谢谢乔尔不客气
All right.
行
You know what, buddy? On second thought,
其实仔细想想
maybe I'll tag along just to be extra safe.
我还是陪你去比较保险
Good idea.
好主意
Bronwen, here's the thing that I love about our friendship:
布朗温咱们的友谊最赞的就是这点
We don't just have problems, we fix problems.
我们之间即使有问题也都可以解决
And me being your teacher is a fixable problem.
我做你老师这个问题也可以解决
Watch.
瞧着
Principal Carl...
卡尔校长
Just a sec, I'm trying to loosen up this towel, which is petrified,
等下我在跟这条石化了的毛巾作斗争
so it'll fit in the garbage.
好把它塞进垃圾桶里
All part of the J-O-B.
为人♥民♥服务嘛
Now, what can I do you for?
好了有什么事吗
I was thinking that Bronwen over here might be limited in sixth grade,
我觉得布朗温在六年级有些屈才
and it might be a good idea to promote her to seventh.
或许我们该让她升到七年级
She gets straight As.
她门门拿A
She knows more than everyone in the class.
比班上同学懂的都多
Even more than me sometimes.
甚至有时比我懂的还多
I mean, I know more than her-- like, she's stupid
不过我懂的当然还是比她多啦
compared to me but smart for her class.
她跟班上同学比像牛顿跟我比像钝牛
So, what do you say?
不知您意下如何
Well... uh... it doesn't happen that often,
这种事不常有
but I guess I could look into it.
不过我会考虑一下
That would be so great.
那太好了
All right. Okay.
行好
Bron-Bron, isn't that amazing?
布布棒吧
You get to go to seventh grade, I get to date your dad.
你能上七年级而我能跟你♥爸♥约会
It's win-win.
皆大欢喜
I am dizzy in the head on that one.
这个我真是搞不定了
Where should we get our Christmas card picture taken?
我们去哪里照圣诞卡全家福呢
I'm feeling something tropical.
热带地区比较合我意呢
I want to stay in my grade with my friends.
我想和朋友们在同一年级
I'll promote your friends.
她们那些鸡犬可随你一同升♥天♥
You're not understanding. I am understanding.
你没搞清情况我有搞清情况
I am bending over backwards to date your dad
老娘都跪舔你爹了
and not in the fun way.
自己还爽不着
I'll explain it later.
这个容后再解释
Can you think for one second how fun it would be for us
你有想过如果我和你♥爸♥约会
if I dated your dad?
会多有意思吗
We could be even better besties...
我们会更亲密友爱...
What I want is for you not to date my dad!
我就是不想让你和我爸约会
But why not? You know me.
为什么呢你了解我啊
I don't want you to date him because I know you.
就是因为我了解你才不愿意
I know you date guys for their money
我知道你想钓金龟婿
and I know that's why you're into my dad.
也正是因此才看上了我爸
Come on... we're friends.
别这样我们是朋友
Then, if we're really friends, you'll respect
如果我们真是朋友那么即使
my decision even if you don't like it.
你不喜欢我的决定也依然会尊重
I'm so proud of Irene for going on this date.
我真想为艾琳的勇气点个赞
I just can't believe a good friend would deny me dating her dad.
闺蜜居然会不让我跟她老爸约会
Does Bronwen really think if I dated him
布朗温真认为我跟她爸约会
that I wouldn't be thinking about her, too?
就会不在乎她了吗
That I'm that self-centered?
我就那么自私吗
Does it seem weird that Irene's date hasn't shown up yet?
艾琳的网友怎么还没来好奇怪啊
I mean, he's like 30 minutes late.
这哥们儿迟了快半小时了
I'm not self-centered.
我可不自私
If anything, I'm other-people-centered.
就算私也是"他私"
Irene, I-I hate to say this, but
艾琳我也不想这么说
TvWatcher359 may not be coming.
但"看电视的人359"也许不会来了
Oh, but I planned all these great conversation topics
可我准备了这些很棒的聊天话题
of things we have in common.
都围绕我们的共同点展开
Internet access, the ability to speak English.
能上网啦会说人话啦
Ah... okay.
好吧
But, um, hey. I-I would love to eat with you.
不过我愿意和你一起吃饭啊
You know, just the two of us
就咱俩
having a nice lunch outside.
户外聚餐
All right.
好吧
Now I'm going to teach you about Indians.
今天我们要学印第安人的故事
When the Americans first came to the States,
美国人刚来这片新大♥陆♥时
the Indians were living there.
印第安人还都住着呢
And the two groups quickly became best friends.
两拨人很快就铁了起来
But the Indians wanted to keep all of the land to themselves.
可是印第安人却不想分享他们的土地
And, yes, maybe the land was rich...
是啊尽管土地富有
in nutrients,
养分
but that didn't have to be the only reason
但这可不是美国人想要土地的
the Americans wanted the land.
唯一原因
And the Indians really should have known that...
印第安人真应该搞清楚
being besties.
朋友间的相处之道
But instead they just flat-out betrayed the gentle,
然而他们却直接背叛了高端
kind and super hot Americans.
大气上档次的美国人
Now, has, um, anyone learned
大家从印第安人的错误中
from the Indians' mistakes?
学到教训了吗
But the Indians were right.
印第不哭
The Americans were wrong.
美帝无♥耻♥
Well, I think the history books would disagree with you on that.
历史书上可不是这么说的
Have you even read the history books?
你看过历史书吗
I am the history books!
老娘就是历史书
And you've left me no choice.
而你把老娘逼急了
When I was cleaning yesterday,
昨天我打扫的时候
I found this very personal note
发现这么一张很私人的纸条
from you, Bronwen.
是你写的布朗温
You, uh, want me to read it?
你要我读一下吗
I'd love it. You sure?
求之不得确定
Dead sure. Okay.
确定一定以及肯定成全你
It is to Chris Keith.
是给克里斯·基斯的
And it says:
上面写着
"Hi Chris, it's Bronwen.
克里斯你好我是布朗温
"I have a crush on you.
我爱上你了
"Wanna go out on a date?
想一起去约会吗
Gotta go, I'm having my period."
改天聊吧姨妈来了
Hmm, that's funny.
有意思
I don't remember writing the note on the back
我怎么不记得在内衣收据后面
of a receipt for Spanx.
写过什么纸条
Mm, but it ended up being pretty fun, actually.
不过最后还挺好玩的
I talked about fantasy novels
我在谈奇幻小说
and Joel talked about fantasy football.
乔尔在谈梦幻橄榄球
Ironically, they both have a character named Ladarius.
讽刺的是这两个里面都有个人叫拉戴瑞斯