坏老师（2014）

Bad Teacher S01E05

Part 1 April 21, 2021, 10:26 a.m.

You know, I've heard that a lot of women have a fantasy
我听说许多女人都幻想着
about sleeping with the gym teacher.
和体育老师上♥床♥
Oh, really? Yeah.
真的吗真的
Well, I've heard a lot of women lie to guys
我听说许多女人会对没钱途的男人说谎
with crappy jobs to make them feel better.
好让他们心里好过一些
I'm heading home.
我要回家了
What? Tonight's the 6th Grade Lock-In.
今天可是六年级留校过夜的日子
It's the big old slumber party at school.
是学校盛大传统的过夜派对
Ugh, that's right. I'm just gonna volunteer
是的所以我申请做厕所监管
for bathroom duty so I can sneak out.
这样我好偷偷溜掉
If anyone asks, I'm in the can by the library.
要是有人问起就说我在图书馆那儿的厕所里
The most surprising thing about what you just said
你刚一堆话最大的亮点就是
is that you know where the library is.
你竟然知道图书馆在哪里
Hey, you got any plans for tomorrow night?
明天晚上有什么安排吗
I bought two tickets to the Wilco concert.
我买♥♥了两张威尔可合唱团演唱会的票
Ugh, they charge for those?
那东西还要钱
Wha... I didn't know you hated Wilco.
你不知道不喜欢威尔可
Well, I'm a human, and I've heard Wilco,
我是个人我听过威尔可的歌♥
so, um, of course I hate them.
我当然不喜欢他们了
Wait, are you asking me on a date?
话说你是在邀我约会吗
Well, we are sleeping together.
我们的确一起滚床单了
Uh, we're just sleeping together.
我们只是滚床单
We are just colleagues who just sleep together. Mostly...
我们只是一起滚床单的单纯同事而且多数
just at work.
是在工作时间
No, no. I've been to your place and you've driven by my place,
不我去过你家你也来过我家
just refused to come in.
只不过不肯进门
I might be at a low point,
我或许是在人生低谷
but I'm not low enough to have sex with you
但也没堕落到在离你舍友
with your roommate, like, three feet away.
一米的地方和你上♥床♥
So, my place next week?
那下周去我家吗
Hey, Coach Donnie.
你好啊唐尼教练
Nice hustle.
"干"得好
Thank you.
过奖了
第一季第五集
坏老师
Okay folks, it's almost time for the 6th Grade Lock-In,
同事们六年级留校过夜即将开始
which I despise.
我很烦躁
Years ago, an idealistic young principal
许多年前一个充满理想
with a full head of hair
有着头发的年轻校长
thought it'd be a great reward for the class food drive.
认为留校过夜是对同学捐赠食物的奖励
Now the bald shell of that man
如今这个顶着光壳的男人
would like to travel back in time
真想穿越回去
and kick that guy in the face.
给那家伙脸上来一记佛山无影脚
Hormonal tweens staying up all night
荷尔蒙飙升的年轻人彻夜不眠
is a recipe for drama.
简直就是年度抓马汇演
Kids think of it as a magical time.
孩子们认为那是美好时光
Lot of high expectations.
期待很高
You're gonna see hookups,
到时候会有各种勾搭
breakups, lot of hurt feelings.
各种分手各种一哭二闹三上吊
I've been having panic attacks all week.
我一整周都焦虑捉急
That's why my assistant Janet here is gonna help me through.
因此我的助手珍妮特会来帮我
Yeah, so, at my school, we had a lock-in every night.
在我的学校天天都能留校过夜
Course, that was because
当然那是因为
I was homeschooled with my five siblings.
我和五个兄弟姐妹在家里自学
But tonight is going to rock.
但是今夜一定会很赞
When you're dragging a urine-filled sleeping bag
当你在凌晨三点把一只灌满尿液的睡袋
to the garbage at 3:00 a.m. That'll change your tune.
拽向垃圾箱你就不会这么想了
Yeah, I've apologized for that, like, a gazillion times.
千万次我向您致歉
Besides, they were just urine samples.
再说那些只是尿样
Thank you.
谢谢大家
Okay, Janet's gonna go through everyone's
珍妮特会确认每个人
duties for tonight's, uh, lock-in.
在今晚留校过夜的任务
Yeah, so, we've got Ginny and Kim on prank watch.
金妮和金姆负责恶作剧监察
I love pranks.
我超爱恶作剧
Once, I hid my neighbor's dog, Buttons,
有一次我把邻居家的狗扣扣藏了起来
and I put her dog collar on this brisket
然后我把狗项圈挂到一块胸肉上
and I put it on their porch...
再放到他们家门口...
Kim. Anti-prank watch.
金姆是监察恶作剧不会发生
It's where all the real action is.
他们都是玩真的
Right. And, oh, uh, sorry, Coach Donnie? Yeah.
不好意思唐尼教练怎么
"Crushing it" is not a duty. I know. It's an honor.
"屌♥炸天"可算不上任务我知道那是荣幸
Maybe you'd be honored to know that the coaches
也许对你来说荣幸的是体育老师
are on s'mores station.
负责准备点心
S'mores. Can do that.
点心没问题
Eat that, Jeff.
傻了吧杰夫
No, Jeff, that's okay.
没事杰夫
You're fine.
你好着呢
Um... Oh, Irene is heading up Safety Patrol.
艾琳要组织安全巡逻队
Uh, we're gonna start with a presentation.
我们要做个开场演出
I don't want to give anything away, but...
我不想剧透不过
gonna be gangsta.
表演碉堡了
Which is slang for gangster.
碉堡是屌♥爆的别称
And organizing the costumes for the teachers' skit is Meredith.
梅瑞迪丝要负责教师小品的服装
Oh. I think there was a mistake.
你搞错了吧
I'm actually on bathroom duty.
我是负责监管厕所的
It's to make sure that the kids aren't frenching
我要确保孩子们没在那里
or having babies in there or something.
激吻啊造人啊什么的
It happens.
时有发生
Yeah. No, that's fine.
好吧
I-I can take costumes.
我来负责服装
I was the lead in my homeschool play every year.
我以前年年都是家里戏剧表演的角儿
Before we adopted Blanca.
布兰卡被领养后就不一样了
Okay, gang, we've got to get rolling.
弟兄们俺们要开工了
Really Can't put this off much longer
不能再拖了
I just want to let you guys know
给你们提前说明一下
that tonight's gonna be hell on earth.
今夜将如炼狱一般
Good luck, everyone.
祝大家好运
Attention, sixth graders.
同学们请注意
You are now officially locked in.
你们已被正式锁在学校里过夜啦
So let's all have a big hand for...
现在有请
What if there's a fire? You can still get out.
起火了怎么办你还是能逃出去
The doors are locked to keep people
锁门是为了把人关在外面
from the outside getting in.
不是把你们关在里面
Now let's give a big hand...
现在让我们有请
What if emergency personnel need to get in?
紧急救援人员要进来怎么办
James. These are your happy years.
詹姆斯趁你还没成高中猪大学狗
Please, just try and enjoy them.
好好享受人生吧
Now let's give a big hand
现在让我们有请
for the Safety Patrol aka House of No Pain.
安全巡逻员又名无痛人员
Yeah, safety break.
安全时刻
It's time to raise the roof.
是时候嗨翻屋顶了
Yo, yo, yo. We're the Safety Patrol,
切克闹我们是安全巡逻员
Yo, yo, yo, we're the Safety Patrol.
切克闹我们是安全巡逻员
Well, at least they're better than Wilco.
她们唱得至少比威尔可好
You unload that ticket yet?
你卖♥♥掉那些票了吗
No. Why? You... You change your mind?
没有你改变主意了吗
Um, it's still you.
你还是你
And it's still Wilco.
威尔可还是威尔可
So, no.
我还是不去
Okay, well, I'm gonna ask somebody else.
好吧我去问问别人去不去
A girl. Great. I don't care.
找个女伴随意老娘才不在乎
We aren't anything to each other.
我们之间毫无关系
Okay? You provide a service for me.
你为我提供服务
I mean, if it'll make you feel better,
如果能让你心里小激动
I'd be happy to write you a positive review on Yelp.
我可以在淘宝上给你个好评
Who are we?
我们是谁
One, two, three.
切克闹
Safety Patrol!
安全巡逻员
Losers.
傻♥逼♥
Who is throwing eggs?
是谁在扔蛋蛋
I can't see because of the light.
光太强我看不清