坏老师（2014）

Bad Teacher S01E06

Part 3 April 21, 2021, 10:26 a.m.

It's my priest, so...
我的神父
Hello, Joel.
你好乔尔
Hey, hey! The limo is on its way.
你好呀豪车已经到达终点
This club is nuts!
这俱乐部炫爆了
There's so many strobe lights.
各种闪光灯
I've seen two people have seizures.
都把两个人闪到癫痫发作了
One person had a seizure, and the ambulance came,
一人发作救护车来了
and the lights made the other person have a seizure.
车灯也把另一个人闪发作了
Awesome.
太棒了
And Pilaf's cousins spent a grand
匹拉夫的亲戚花了一千块钱
on a two-foot bottle of vodka.
买♥♥了两大瓶伏特加
Joel-y!
乔尔
Come help me with the shots.
快来帮我拼酒
Who's that? Is that Mr. Pilaf?
那是谁匹拉夫先生么
Oh, no, it's just some girl's birthday.
不是是一个妹子的生日聚会
Her friends got her 21 shots.
她朋友要她喝掉21杯
We're just helping her drink them.
我们只是帮她喝酒
Joel! Come on!
乔尔快来啊
Wow. Sounds like that girl's really all over your...
哇听起来那丫头已经扑到你的
I'll see you soon. ...penis.
待会见小丁丁了
Welcome to my relaxation dojo,
欢迎来到我的放松训练课
which is just an old storage room,
虽然只是在一个旧的储藏室
soothing music and a tapestry I threw over
把我弟的毛毯铺在座位上
the third row seat of my brother's Suburban.
听着舒缓的音乐
Cool.
好耶
What are we doing here?
我们要在这干嘛
I'm gonna try and help you
我要帮你
get over your fear of taking tests
通过"想象描述"
by using "vocal visualization".
来战胜你的恐惧
You visualize what you want,
你描述你所想
you say it out loud.
然后大声描述出来
So I just say everything I think?
想什么说什么都行么
Yep. Take it away.
对你随便
Okay. I am...
好吧我
picturing a map.
想到一副地图
Oh, it's my hometown.
是我老家呢
Yes...
继续
There's the gazebo.
那边有个露台
And who could forget the Daverman murder house?
还有臭名昭著的戴佛曼谋杀屋
Um... Don't want to go there.
嗯最好别去那
Maybe just a peek.
也许就看一眼
Oh, hey, Mr. Daverman.
你好啊戴佛曼先生
I thought you were condemned to death row.
我以为你被判死刑了
Sure, I'll take a tour of your cellar.
我当然可以去参观你的地窖
Oh, boy.
天哪
Nice.
很好
Um, I'm just gonna go to the bathroom.
我要去趟卫生间
But, uh...
但是
I'm definitely coming back. Just go.
我一定会回来的你走吧
I heard you on the phone, I know you don't want to be here.
我听到你打电♥话♥了我知道你想离开
Maybe.
也许吧
I know you just pretended to care about me
我知道你只是假装关心我
because you want me to finish the yearbook.
因为你想我完成年刊
I get it.
我知道
And where did we land on the Botox of it all?
那瘦脸针怎么安排
You can have it.
可以给你
My whole life just fell apart and I have to start all over again,
我的生活刚分崩离析而我得自己爬起来
and I honestly have no idea how to do that.
而说实话我不知道怎么开始
So I'm just gonna do the yearbook,
所以我就做年刊吧
'cause at least that's one thing I know how to do.
起码这是我唯一知道如何去做的事情
Look, it's gonna be hard at first, but you'll...
听着开始会有点难但是你会
Just go.
你直接走吧
We both know you were never gonna help.
我们都知道你不是真心要帮
Just go.
走吧
Uh, okay, I'm gonna jump in here.
好吧我先打断一下
Let's focus on a more positive,
让我们来想一些乐观的
less terrifying scenario.
不那么吓人的情景
Think about something you want to achieve.
想一些你想做的事情
Like... it's your first day as a teacher,
比如你第一天当老师
in front of your own classroom.
站在全班面前
Nothing but your wits and a teacher's edition.
除了你的智慧和教师手册没别的
I'm not... sure.
我不知道
Okay, let me show you.
好吧我示范给你看
It's a late summer afternoon.
在一个夏天的午后
I walk into the kitchen
我走入厨房♥
and my cereal's not stale,
我的麦片没有坏
because my roommate Ron
因为我的室友荣恩
remembered to put the top on the stay-fresh tub.
有记得盖上保鲜盖
and the landline rings.
然后电♥话♥响了
And it's Stanford, my alma mater.
是我的母校斯坦福大学
I have been chosen to give the commencement speech.
让我去毕业典礼上演讲
And in the back of the auditorium,
在礼堂的后面站着卡拉
in sunglasses so wide they'll break your heart, stands Carla.
她戴着太阳镜你看着心都碎了
And we stroll toward the quad,
我们漫步着
laughing and talking about her new beau
笑着谈着她的新男朋友
who just got smushed by a garbage truck.
刚被垃圾车撞了
Hey. Fixed the shredder for Ginny. Why?
给金妮把碎纸机修好了为嘛
'Cause you have nothing better to do
因为你没事干吗
and you live here? Yeah. That's it.
而且你还住在这没错
Come on. She's having a tough day.
别这样她这一天够难过的了
You like Ginny? Okay.
你喜欢金妮行啊
All fixed.
都修好了
That's the worst shredder blowout
这是在帕塔丘老师班的仓鼠爬进去后
I've seen since Ms. Patchell's class hamster climbed in.
我见过最糟糕的一次事故了
Well, I appreciate your strong work ethic.
感谢你的敬业精神
Tried to fix the jersey, too, but...
本来想把球衣修好的但是
no such luck.
没成功
So what happened between you and this dude?
你和这个哥儿们怎么了
Dude? No.
哥们儿不是
This jersey's mine.
这件球衣是我的
Cool.
好吧
He obviously didn't deserve you.
很明显他配不上你
Uh... are we gonna talk about that?
我们要谈谈刚才发生的事情么
Talk about what?
什么事情
Why-why are you back?
你怎么又回来了
I went to the club for, like, one second,
我去了大约一秒钟
but I was so obviously the hottest one there
很明显发现我是那儿最性感的
I just felt like I was taking attention away from everyone, so...
我感觉我把所有人的注意力都吸引了所以
Well, there's a lot of work here to do,
好吧我们有很多工作要做
so did you come back to just stand there
所以你回来就是为了站在那不动么
or are you actually gonna help?
还是你真的打算帮忙
Oh, I'm gonna help. Good.
我要帮好
You.
你
I feel like someone's choking me,
我感觉有人掐着我的脖子
and not in the fun way.
而且还不是好玩的那种方式
Is there anything to cover the rest of me?
有没有东西来遮住其余的部分
Ugh, I feel like Mrs. Doubtfire.
啊我感觉像是《窈窕奶爸》[电影]
I feel like a whore.
我感觉像个妓♥女♥
You look amazing! You look amazing!
你美呆了你美呆了
Okay...
好吧
Go get him, tiger.
去拿下他们辣姐
Wait, what about the yearbook?
等等年刊怎么办
Oh, Carl will get over it.
卡尔会忘了它的
Or... you could do it.
或者你可以做
Ugh... Come on.
少来了
I've been around tons of yearbook nerds
我跟一堆年鉴宅共事过
and you are just as smart as them.
你跟他们一样聪明
You really think I can do it?
你真的觉得我可以
Didn't you ever secretly wish
你有没有暗地里想过成为
that you were one of us yearbook nerds?
年刊宅中的一员