我为喜剧狂（2006）
30 Rock S01E18
Part 2
Jan. 13, 2021, 12:20 p.m.
I already know the results. The kid is not mine.
我已经知道结果了,那孩子不是我的
Boy, it's crazy to think we used to settle questions of paternity
伙计,想想以前多疯狂 把女人扔水里
by dunking a woman in water until she admitted she made it all up.
直到她承认都是她编的为止 事情就解决了嘛
Mm different time, the '60s.
时代不同了嘛 那时候是60年代
But he was going to church in the middle of the day on a Tuesday.
他居然在星期二白天去教堂
What do you think that means
你觉得那代表着什么
It means he probably murdered someone and found God while he was in jail.
可能他杀了人,然后在监狱里找到了上帝
Maybe he's born-again Ugh, boy.
也许他重生了 伙计
We'll spend our Saturdays in Central Park trying to "save" gay rollerbladers.
然后我们星期六会去中♥央♥公园拯救同性恋轮滑手
I just wish people would tell you immediately when you meet them,
我真希望你一见到人家,人家就会告诉你
"Hi, I am so and so. Here's all the weird stuff about me."
"嗨,我是这样我是那样 以下是一些关于我的怪事情"
Ah, that would never work.
那永远不可能的
If I told my wife in college, "Hey, I'm gonna lose all this beautiful hair
如果我在大学里告诉我老婆 " 我这头乌黑靓丽的头发全都会掉光的
and fart in my sleep for the next 20 years,"
然后在以后的20年里会在睡梦里放屁"
she never would have married me.
她决不会嫁给我
Love is like an onion,
爱情就像洋葱
and you peel away layer after stinky layer
你就把一层臭皮从更臭的一层皮上剥开
until you're just weeping over the sink.
直到 你在水槽旁哭出来
Is that my sweatshirt
那是我的汗杉吗
Hey
嘿
Oh sorry.
哦 抱歉
No, no-- Ugh
不 不
And I have an idea for a show about a teacher named Art.
我想到了一个关于艺术老师的节目
I call that one "Art School."
我把它叫做 "艺术学校"
And one about a Jewish guy who opens an ice cream parlor.
还有一个关于一个犹太人开了家冰激凌店的节目
That one's called "Ice Cream Cohen."
那个叫做"冰激凌Cohen"
And a drama about two cops, one named Cash and one named Carry.
还一有一部关于两个警♥察♥的正剧 他们一个叫Cash还有一个叫Carry
I don't have a title for that one.
不过节目的名字我还没想好
But then also Kenneth.
还有呢 Kenneth
Can I offer you a libation
给你弄点什么喝的
I have champagne, vodka, absinthe Fruit punch, please.
我有香槟,伏特加, 苦艾酒 果汁,谢谢
Right.
好的
You'll excuse me.
我失陪一下
I'll go slip into something a little more comfortable.
我要换上点让我舒服些的衣服
Like in the movies
就像电影里一样
So Mr. Banks
那么Banks先生
what brings you to New York
你来纽约做什么呢
Oh, just making the rounds.
就是到处看看
What projects are you working on near-slash-long term
你最近有什么计划吗
Oh my. That's an awful short robe.
天.那个真是短啊
I know.
我知道
I had to cut it down myself.
我不得不自己剪的
Oh, Kenneth.
Kenneth
You know, I was a page.
你知道的,我曾经是个接待员
And when I was in the program, we'd give each other a hand.
在我们这行里,我们会互相“帮助”
Can you give me a hand, Kenneth
你能“帮帮”我吗,Kenneth
For a fellow page, anything
大家自己人嘛,当然咯
Great.
很好
Tell me about Jack Donaghy.
跟我说说Jack Donaghy
Tracy, I have the results of your DNA test.
Tracy,你的DNA测试结果出来了
Now, I'm very serious about doctor/patient confidentiality
我是非常注意医患间保密的
so I'm gonna have to ask at all four of us keep this to ourselves.
所以我要求在场的四位都要保守秘密
What's the verdict, Doc
结果是什么,大夫
Good news.
好消息
You are not the father of that child.
你不是那孩子的父亲
Yeah However, according to my DNA database,
太好了 然而,根据我的DNA数据库
you are a direct descendant of our third president.
你是我们第三位总统的直系后代
Jasper Buceman
Jasper Buceman
No, Tracy.
不,Tracy
Our third president. Thomas Jefferson.
我们的第三位总统,Thomas Jefferson
Jefferson Not possible.
Jefferson 不可能
Yeah, that's a white dude.
就是,那是个白的伙计
Yeah, but that guy was into black chicks.
对,不过那伙计喜欢黑妞
I'm surprised I am not a descendant.
真奇怪我怎么不是他后代
These DNA results show that genetically you're mostly white.
从DNA的结果来看,你大部分算白人
That ridiculous.
太可笑了
I can't be white.
我不能是白人
My whole persona is based on an in-depth analysis
我整个个性就在于表现
of the differences between black and white.
黑人和白人的不同点
This is how black people dial a phone.
黑人是这么打电♥话♥的
This is how white people dial a phone.
白人是这么打电♥话♥的
I gotta call my wife.
我要打给我老婆
Devin.
Devin
What can I do for you
我能为你做什么
I think we're way past that, Jack.
我想我们用不着来那一套, Jack
Let's be honest with each other.
我们就坦诚相对吧
I'll go first.
我先说
I'm gay and I want your job.
我是同性恋,我想坐你的位子
Devin, I'm straighter than you are gay
Devin,比你这个同性恋来,我要直一点
and I leave particles of guys like you in my wind.
我能生吞活剥了你这样的家伙
I'm not afraid of you.
我不怕你
Yeah, well, you should be.
你应该怕我
Lets just see how little shakes out in the meeting.
那就让我们看看开会的时候下台的是谁
Yeah
对
let's.
看看
Oh, by the way, a little slim-waisted birdie in a page jacket told me you got nothing.
一个穿着接待员制♥服♥的 小黄豆芽告诉我,你啥也没有
You're going down.
你在走下坡路
No, Devin.
不, Devin
I don't do that.
我才不做这种事
No, no, no.
不,不,不
Are you kidding me
你在开玩笑吧
You eat too many hot dogs.
你吃了太多热狗了
Please, I am concerned.
拜托,我很担心你呢
I copied this article on sodium for you.
你应该看看这份关于钠的资料
Fine.
好吧
But I will be reporting this to the Fox Problem Solvers.
不过我会把这件事情反映给“问题解决者”的
Oh, boy.
老天爷
What is this, Bible study
是什么,圣经学习
Excuse me one second.
失陪一小下
Hey. Hi.
嘿 嗨
I didn't know you came here.
我不知道你也来这里
Oh, well, I haven't been in a super long time.
我已经N久,N久没来了
But, yeah, my parents used to make me go every week.
其实是,我父母以前要我每个礼拜都来啦
Wow.
Wow
Well, welcome back.
欢迎回来
Thanks.
谢谢
You're doing the right thing.
你这么做是对
Go ahead, have a seat.
去吧,找个位子坐下
Okay, everybody. Let's get started.
各位,我们开始吧
Hi, my name is Floyd and I'm an alcoholic.
嗨,我的名字是Floyd 我是个酗酒者
Hi, Floyd.
嗨, Floyd
Hi, Floyd. Uh
嗨, Floyd.恩
It's been four years since my last drink.
我上一次喝酒已经是4年前了
But I just broke up with my girlfriend, so I guess today
不过我刚和我女朋友分手 所以我想今天
I'll be talking about my issues with women and trust.
我要谈谈和女人的关系还有信任
The dishonesty that my dad
我父亲的不忠
You stayed
你就留下了
Pete, you don't understand.
Pete,你不明白
He was pouring his guts out.
他在掏心掏肺地说
It was like eavesdropping on somebody else's therapy.
就好象你在偷听人家跟心理医生谈话
It was great.
棒级了
Yeah, that's not okay.
这样不好
But I just feel like I've known him forever now, you know
知道吗 我现在就感觉我已经认识他很久了
I mean, his father was awful.
我是说,他爸爸糟透了
Awful.
糟透了
And he told this story about trying to make French toast
他说那个他小时候给他妈妈做土司的故事时
for his mom when he was a kid and he started crying
他都哭出来了
I love him.
我爱他
Liz, what is your plan here What are you gonna do
Liz,那你有什么计划吗 你打算怎么做
You're gonna fake being an alcoholic for the rest of your life
你打算余生都假装成酗酒者吗
我为喜剧狂（2006）
30 Rock
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