浪女大厨（2014）

Young & Hungry S05E01

Part 1 March 29, 2021, 11:29 a.m.

咚咚
Knock, knock.
给你端了床上早餐
Hey, brought ya breakfast in bed.
谢谢
Oh, thank you.
我昨晚没睡多久
You know I didn't get much sleep last night,
所以我觉得有点...
so I'm feeling a little...
头昏
Punchy.
有意思我也这么觉得
Interesting, I'm feeling a little punchy myself.
是吗
Are ya?
对我是
Yeah, I are.
如果人们觉得头昏他们会怎么做
So, uh, what would one do if they're feelin' punchy?
如果那人有积分卡
Well, I would imagine if he or she had a punch card,
我觉得他可能会用刷
one might use it. Shwah!
的确是刷
"Shwah," Indeed.
说实话我不想吃早餐
To be honest, I didn't want breakfast.
说实话我也没做
Oh, to be honest, I didn't make any.
饥饿的青春
第五季第一集
乔什下来了吗
Did Josh come down yet?
我讨厌迟到会让我恐慌流汗
I hate being late. Gives me panic sweats.
这和你按时到的流汗有什么不同
How's that different from your on-time sweats?
你在干什么那是乔什的内♥裤♥
What are you doing? Those are Josh's underpants!
我知道
I know.
给我笨蛋
Give me those, fool.
咖啡呢
And where the hell is the coffee?
你们这群娘们儿在这里啥也不干
You bitches don't do anything around here.
才不是加比在干乔什呢
That's not true. Gabi's doing Josh right now.
愚蠢的积分卡
Ugh, that stupid punch card.
加比跟乔什
It's so gross that Gabi has
有这种恶心的性安排真是令人作呕
that disgusting sexual arrangement with Josh.
你只是嫉妒
You're just jealous.
才不是那又不是...
No! It's not like...
我毕生的梦想
everything I've ever wanted.
他们能积多少次分
How many punches do they have anyway?
十次
Ten.
只剩九次了
Make that nine.
真爽
That was great!
太爽了
So great.
这积分卡太赞了
I mean, this punch card thing is the best.
是啊超棒
Yeah, it's amazing.
我们在做不带感情的爱
We're having sex without feelings.
我是说我下面有感觉但是
I mean, I had feelings in my parts, but...
但没有感情
Not in my hearts.
我得跟你说实话加比
I gotta be honest with you, Gabi.
我没想到你能
I did not think you could
应付一场不带感情的纯性♥爱♥关系
handle an all sex non-emotional liaison.
有意思因为我也是这么想你的
That's funny, because I thought the same thing about you.
不过没你说得那么花哨
Without the big word at the end.
我们差点忘了一件事
We almost forgot something.
不不我不做那个
Oh, no, no. I don't do that.
不加比我说的是这个
No. Gabi, I'm talking about this.
我不知道那是什么但我也不做
I don't know what that is, but I don't do that either.
加比这是积分卡的打孔机
Gabi, it's a hole-puncher for our punch cards.
这是十次里的第一次
Aw. It's our first punch out of ten.
难以置信我们已经用了一次了
Man, I can't believe we already used one up.
是啊只剩九次了
Yeah. We only got nine left.
是啊我还剩五次你还剩四次
Yeah. I've got five and you've got four.
为什么第一次是我用的
Why do I have to use the first punch?
知道吗我没意见
You know what? I'm cool with it.
长者在前美人在后
Age before beauty.
公平起见下次用我的就现在吧
Well, and to be fair, I will use the next punch. How's now?
也许这次美人可以先来
Maybe this time, beauty can come first.
天啊停下
Oh, my god! Stop!
不行我饿坏了
No, I can't. I'm starving.
我现在经常做♥爱♥
I'm having lots of sex now.
不我需要你的剩菜
No, no. I, uh-- I need your leftovers
好带去公♥司♥给肯德里克
to bring into work for Kendrick.
天啊你还在追他吗
Ugh! Oh, my god, are you still after him?
是啊而你的食物就是
Yes. And your food is the reason
我们每天一起吃午餐的原因
we have lunch together every day.
他爱你的厨艺
He loves your cooking.
其实他以为是我的厨艺
Which he actually thinks is my cooking,
所以从某种程度上来说他爱我
So in a way, he loves me.
你知道他还爱什么吗他的女友
Yeah. You know what else he loves? His girlfriend.
现在而已
Yeah, now.
但我有个成为他新女友的计划
But I have a plan to be his new girlfriend.
计划的核心就是我们的午餐
Okay, look, it all centers around our lunches.
首先我把自己塑造成红颜的形象
First, I establish myself as a confidant.
然后我悄悄地破坏他的恋爱
Then, I subliminally undermine his relationship.
最后
And then finally,
等我奶奶的符咒起作用时
when my abuelita's hex starts working...
他的恋爱会毁于一旦
his relationship will burn to the ground.
而我将在场像凤♥凰♥一样涅槃重生
And I will be there to rise like a phoenix from the ashes.
作为他的新女友
As his new girlfriend.
很久没上♥床♥的你有点疯狂
Wow, not having sex for a long time makes you a little crazy.
今天上了床的你有点品头论足
Yeah, well, having sex for a day makes you a little judgy.
我的意思只是我和乔什进行得很顺利好吗
All I'm saying is what Josh and I have is working. Okay?
我们处得很来
We're getting along great.
我们在上♥床♥ 同时又没有渴求和闹剧
We're having sex without all the neediness and the drama.
也没有关怀信任和亲密
And the caring and the trust and the intimacy.
没错
Yeah, exactly.
那一切让我们成为可怕情侣的垃圾东西
All that crap that made us a really horrible couple.
加比我比谁都了解你
Gabi, I know you better than anyone,
你没法应付纯粹的性关系
And you can not handle a purely sexual relationship.
过不了多久事情就会变得很奇怪
It's just a matter of time before things get weird.
不会奇怪的好吗跟上潮流索菲亚
It's not gonna get weird, okay? Get with the times, Sofia.
男友过时了积分卡正流行
Boyfriends are out, punch cards are in.
这是我听过的最蠢的话
That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard.
快做点食物
Now cook me something
让我装作是我做的好让肯德里克爱上我
that I can pretend is mine so Kendrick falls in love with me.
你在干什么
What are you doing?
你再怎么挠
All the scratching in the world
也挠不掉双下巴的
won't get rid of that second chin.
我在上医生网站想查清楚我的脸到底怎么了
I'm on WebMD trying to figure out what's wrong with my face.
也许你只是对丑陋过敏
Oh, well, maybe you just allergic to ugly.
上面说发痒有很多种可能
It says the itch could be anything.
从用了新的剃须膏到...
From using a new shaving cream to--
等等这是什么
Wait, what's this?
这是我用的新洗衣粉 "汏渍"
Oh, that's the new detergent I'm using. Tude.
"灼烧感代表清洁有效"
"The burning is how you know it's working."
这是哪种洗衣粉啊
What the hell kind of detergent is this?
便宜的那种
Cheap.
我在打折货架买♥♥的
I got it in the discount aisle.
等等你用这玩意儿洗的乔什内♥裤♥吗
Wait. Did you wash Josh's underwear in that?
是啊我按说明用的
Yep. I followed the instructions.
在水里加了一勺
I added a scoop to the water.
等烟雾消散
Waited till the smoke cleared.
然后加入衣物
Then I added the laundry.
我用他的四角裤擦了脸所以才起了疹子
I wiped my face with his boxers. That's why I have a rash.
你为什么要在打折货架购物
What the hell are you doing shopping in the discount aisle?
乔什富得流油
Josh is loaded.
你有什么目的
What's your angle?
没有
No angle.
每个月乔什都给我清洁采购金
Every month, Josh gives me a cleaning budget.
我妥善地管理着
Which I manage properly.
所以你买♥♥便宜的东西将剩下的钱据为己有吗
So you buy cheap products and then pocket the rest?
该死
Damn it!
别担心
Oh, don't worry.
我不会告诉他
I won't tell him.
如果你分我一半
If you cut me in for half.
该死
Damn it!
难以置信我被一个非黑人敲诈了
I can't believe I'm being blackmailed by somebody who's not black!