浪女大厨（2014）

Young & Hungry S05E09

Part 2 March 29, 2021, 11:31 a.m.

那可是"说了就停"
I mean, it's called the "Tell and Hold,"
是我发明的好吗
I invented the "Tell and Hold"!
我敬你
I toast you.
好吧...
Okay. Uh...
或许我该走了
Maybe I should go?
如果我跟你"说"该走了帮你"停"住门呢
What if I... tell you to leave, while I hold open the door?
开个"说了就停"的小玩笑嘛
That's a little... that's a little "Tell and Hold" humor.
你真棒
Wow. Uh... you're amazing.
谢谢你理解我
Thank you for understanding.
晚安
Good night.
加比我真抱歉把这事扯到自己身上
Gabi... I'm so sorry to make this about myself,
不过我终于发现一篇既戏剧又刺♥激♥的文章了
but I finally found an article that is dramatic and exciting.
一桩口是心非的现代爱情故事
A modern day romance gone awry.
口是心非吗
Awry?
什么口是心非了没有啊
What's-- what's awry? Nothing's awry.
天啊加比你都难受死了
Oh my god, Gabi, this is killing you.
而且讽刺的是
Okay, the ironic thing is,
如果你没让他陪着那姑娘
if you hadn't told him to stay with that girl,
这些事都不会发生
none of this would've happened.
是"心痛不已"还是"不己"
Is "devastated" spelled with an "e" or an "a"?
心痛吗天啊你是绝望到
Devastated? Oh my god. Are you so desperate
为了写文章要假装我伤心吗
for a story that you're just gonna pretend that I'm upset?
才没有我...
No, I mean, I-- I...
可高兴乔什跟别的女生约会了
love that Josh is going out with another girl.
我完全接受
You know? I'm... I am fine with it.
你好你是玛丽莎的男朋友吗
Hi. Are you Marissa's boyfriend?
曾经是
I... was.
你需要跟她复合
You need to get back together with her.
真感谢你请我们进来文尼
Thank you so much for asking us in, Vinny.
我没有
I didn't.
你们是谁来着
Who are you again?
我是"加比食盒"的加比
Oh, uh, I'm-- I'm Gabi from Gabi's Box.
另外谢谢你的订购
Thanks for your order, by the way,
记得在脸书上赞我们哦
make sure you like us on Facebook,
所以你为什么要跟玛丽莎分手
so why the hell did you break up with Marissa?
她那么爱你
I mean, she loves you so much,
以为你也爱她的
and she thought that you loved her.
我的确爱她
Hey, I do love her.
她是我认识过最喜欢的女生
I love her more than any woman I've ever known.
只是...我得跟别人结婚
It's just... I have to marry somebody else.
天啊你是搞大了别人的肚子吗
Oh my god, did you get somebody else pregnant?
这可是好故事文尼
This is good. This is good stuff, Vinny.
不我爸妈替我安排了婚事
N-- No! No. My parents have set up an arranged marriage.
我未来的妻子拉娅正在从孟买♥♥飞过来
My future wife Raya, she's flying in from Mumbai,
明天晚上我们要一起吃饭
and we're all getting dinner tomorrow night.
包办婚姻吗
An arranged marriage?
天啊加比我文章的钩子有了
Oh my god, Gabi, I've found my hook.
文章中引出故事的概念
所以你打算跟个从没见过的人结婚
So, you're gonna marry someone you've never met
心里却爱着另一个人吗
when you're in love with somebody else?
你得回到你爱的人身边去
I mean, you need to get back with your someone else.
我有个问题...这关你什么事
I have a question... why do you care?
因为如果你爱玛丽莎就该跟她在一起
Because if you love Marissa, you need to be with her.
属于彼此的人就应该在一起
The people that belong together need to be together!
我很怕我爸妈他们都不知道我抽大♥麻♥
Look, my parents scare me. They don't even know that I smoke pot.
你不会告诉他们的吧
You're not gonna tell them, are you?
不会不过你该把这水烟筒藏起来
No, but you might wanna hide this bong.
文尼如果你告诉你♥爸♥妈
Hey... Vinny... I wonder what would happen
你喜欢的是玛丽莎那会怎么样
if you told your parents that you love Marissa?
我可以吃披萨的吧
It's cool that I'm having this pizza, right?
我喜欢谁不重要
It doesn't matter who I love.
重要的是他们喜欢谁而他们喜欢拉娅
What matters is who they love, and they love Raya.
你怎么知道他们就喜欢拉娅
Well, how do you know they're gonna love Raya?
他们连拉娅面都没见过呢
I mean, they haven't even met Raya.
他们会喜欢她的她是处♥女♥ 素食者
Oh... they're gonna love her. She is a virgin vegetarian
化学工程师这可是印度大三元
chemical engineer, it's the Indian trifecta.
"印度大三元" 这个不错
Indian trifecta! That's good stuff.
文尼...
Vinny...
如果他们见到的拉娅实际上跟这些并不搭界呢
what if the Raya they meet is actually... none of those things?
如果她是个性♥爱♥狂肉食者
What if she's a-- What if she's a sex-loving, meat-eating,
绝不可能是化学工程师的人呢
not-a-chance-in-hell-of-being a chemical engineer?
我懂你要干什么了
Ohhh... I see what you're doing.
你是想找个姑娘
You're gonna get some girl
来装作是可怕版的拉娅
to pretend to be a horrible version of Raya,
好让他爸妈...
so that his parents...
就是我是吗
It's me, isn't it?
谢谢你们帮我
Thank you so much for getting
为我和玛丽莎的约会准备零食
all the snacks ready for my date with Marissa.
听到没 "和玛丽莎的约会"
Did you hear that? "Date... with Marissa."
和某个不是加比的人的约会
Date... with someone who's not Gabi.
你们上次听到我这么说是什么时候了
When's the last time you heard me say that?
三分钟前吧
About three minutes ago.
那是因为我很激动
Look... that's because I'm excited!
严格说来加比和我也不算约会
You know, technically, Gabi and I aren't even dating,
我们只是啪啪别误会了那很棒
we're just having sex, which, don't get me wrong, it's nice.
那还是很棒的
It's nice.
但我是个男人
But I'm a man.
我想谈恋爱想去感受想有感情
I want relationships, I want feelings, I want emotions!
我怀念这些
I miss 'em.
居然我才是基佬吗
And I'm the gay one?
所以你跟加比说过了也确定
So, you talked to Gabi about this, and you're sure
自己想这么做吗
this is what you wanna be doing?
我当然想这么做了
Of course this is what I should be doing!
这样多棒
This is good!
这才是正常人做的事
This is what normal people do!
他们出门他们约会
They go out! They date!
他们假装成自己不是的人
They pretend to be someone they're not!
然后越来越随意
Then they get more comfortable.
最终在彼此面前上厕所这多美啊
Eventually, they pee in front of each other, it's beautiful!
加比和我就不能有这样的感情
Gabi and I can't have a relationship like that.
我们试过了但是不行
We tried, but we can't.
我很想有但是不行你能闭嘴了吗
I'd love it, but we can't. So will you get off my back?
玛丽莎到了我去接她进来
That... is Marissa. I'm gonna go and let her in.
你们打开红酒点亮阳台的灯
You guys open the wine, put on the terrace lights,
把屋里收拾的美美的然后滚蛋
make everything look pretty, and get out.
快尤兰达
Hurry, Yolanda!
不不不不
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
我抓住你了
I got you!
你个毛茸茸的小贱♥人♥
You furry little bitch!
这里是怎么回事
What the hell is goin' on in here?
那只松鼠是真的
The squirrel is real!
就在这个桶底下
And it's right here under this bucket!
是吗艾略特
Ohh, is it, Elliot?
还是你又吃止痛药了
Or did you just take more of your meds?
我说了就在这桶底下
I'm telling you, it's right here.
那我们来看看吧
Well, let's see it, then.
你踢开桶我来抓住松鼠
You kick the bucket... and I'll grab the squirrel.
好
Okay.
怎么...
What the--?
刚才真的就在底下的
I'm telling you it was right here!
我是怎么回事
What's the matter with me?
救救我尤兰达
Help me, Yolanda!
我觉得我可能要疯了
I think I might be losing my mind.
不如我们去吃冻酸奶吧
How about we get some frozen yogurt?
加比你确定索菲亚能搞定这事吗
Gabi, are you sure Sofia's gonna be able to pull this off?
如果我爸妈发现她不是真的拉娅...
If my parents find out that she is not the real Raya--
他们到了
That's them!
他们不会发现的等今晚结束
They are not gonna find out. Okay, by the time this night ends,
你就会跟拉娅一刀两断了
you're gonna be done with Raya.
来击个掌
Up high-a!
妈妈爸爸