浪女大厨（2014）

Young & Hungry S05E04

Part 3 March 29, 2021, 11:30 a.m.

- I'll take some. - No, she won't!
没错
Yeah! That's right.
想给加比·戴蒙德下迷♥药♥
Gotta wake up pretty early in the morning
你还嫩着呢
to roofie Gabi Diamond.
真不敢相信你陪我去体♥检♥
I can't believe we went to my physical,
却发现你才是早死的那一个
and found out you're the one who can die early.
她没说死
She didn't say die.
她说让我安排后事
She said, get my affairs in order.
尤兰达
Yolanda,
你的计划极为奏效
your plan worked like a charm.
我跟加比说我今天和我爸在一起
I told Gabi I was with my dad today,
她一整天都没来烦我
and she hasn't bugged me once all day long.
没有你我该怎么办
What would I do without you?
别担心我会一直在这的
Don't worry, turns out, i'm gonna be here a long time.
但你可能得跟艾略特说再见了
But you might want to say your goodbyes to Elliot.
好各位要是加比回来了
All right, hey guys, if, uh, Gabi gets back,
跟她说我跟我"爸"去慢跑了
tell her me and my "Dad" went on a jog.
你们觉得我的新慢跑服怎么样
Uh, what do you think of my new gear?
-好看还是难看 -不难看
- Cool or douchey? - Not douchey.
什么声音
What was that?
是我医生逼我戴的这个鬼健康监测器
It's this stupid health monitor my doctor's making me wear.
我心率加快或血压升高时它就会"嘀嘀"叫
It beeps whenever my heart rate or blood pressure go up.
情况严重吗
Is it anything serious?
没什么医生说我只要减掉5磅就行了
No, the doctor said I just have to lose about five pounds.
10磅
Ten.
好吧 30磅
Fine! Thirty pounds!
糟糕每次你说谎这玩意儿都会响
Oh my damn, that thing beeps every time you tell a lie!
是吗我不能戴着这东西
It does? I can't wear this.
我喜欢说谎话
I love lying.
我的名字其实不叫艾略特
My name's not even Elliot.
我叫郑易
It's Jung-yi!
给我戴吧
I'll take it.
能在慢跑的时候监测我的心率
I can monitor my heart rate on my jog.
好了我要忙着给地板打蜡了
Okay, I'm just gonna get busy waxing these floors.
还好我没有戴那玩意儿
Good thing I'm not wearing that watch.
好现在我们到加油站了
Okay, here we are at a gas station.
你们看人真多
Wow, look, it's so crowded.
很多目击者
So many witnesses.
索菲亚我们去上厕所
Uh, Sofia, let's go pee.
我不想上
I don't have to go.
该死的索菲亚和她的海量膀胱
Damn Sofia and her stupid giant bladder.
马特你能给车加下油吗
Uh, Matt, would you mind pumping the gas?
你让我去加吗
You want me to pump it?
对还是骑士精神已死
Yeah, or is chivalry dead?
那家伙不是乔什爸爸
That's not Josh's dad!
-什么 -这半小时里我一直在试着提示你
- What? - I've been trying to signal you for half an hour.
他是假扮的是骗子
He's a fake! A fraud!
你在说什么
What are you talking about?
他在机场看到你的牌子就直接来找我们了
He walked right up to us when he saw your sign at the airport.
是的你觉得骗子该怎么做
Yeah, what do you think a fraud does?
任何人都能说自己是马特
Anybody could claim to be Matt!
你都没查他的身份证
I mean, you didn't even ID him!
你是史上最差的实习生
You're the worst trainee ever!
但他回答了关于乔什的所有问题
But he answered all those questions about Josh.
大部分时间是谁在说话是我
Who did most of the talking? Me!
他只是在附和我所说的一切罢了
He just went along with everything I said.
-我不觉得这能证明什么 -是吗
- I don't think that proves anything. - Really?
那乔什刚从酒店打电♥话♥给我
How about the fact that Josh just called me from his hotel
说他正和他爸坐在一起呢
where he's sitting with his real dad?
什么你怎么不一开始就说
What? Why didn't you lead with that?
我们带着个变♥态♥开车到处转悠
We're driving around with a psychopath.
天呐
Oh, my God.
怎么办我该怎么办
What do I do? What do I do?
踩油门踩油门
Floor it! Floor it!
-天呐 -天呐
- Oh, my God! - Oh, my God!
我好像撞到他了
I think I hit him.
不只是压到他的脚了没事快走
No it was just his foot, you're fine! Go, go, go, go!
天呐我不敢回头看
Oh, my God, I can't look.
问题严重吗
How bad is it?
很严重
It's bad.
乔什的排气管整个掉下来了
Josh's whole muffler fell off.
我要怎么跟乔什说
What am I gonna tell Josh?
想到了...
Okay, I know, um...
真是疯狂乔什
It was so crazy, Josh.
我刚才正在车♥库♥里拿东西
I was down in the garage getting something,
发现你的揽胜上有个小标记所以...
and I noticed a tiny little mark on your Range Rover, and so...
我擦了擦想看那是不是个刮痕
you know, I rubbed it to see if it was a scratch and then,
然后这东西就掉下来了
you know, this just came off.
你怎么这么晚还没走
Hey, what are you doing here so late?
这不重要
Uh, not important.
重要的是
What is important,
我很高兴你终于跟你♥爸♥爸见面了
is that I am so happy that you finally met your dad
因为现在你明白了家庭...
because now you understand that having a family is...
远重要于拥有豪车
is so much more important than having, you know, expensive cars,
或者昂贵的东西比如...
or expensive stuff, like...
豪车
expensive cars.
加比...
Gabi...
你说得没错
You are so right.
和我爸见面真是太美妙了
Meeting my dad was amazing!
-什么声音 -没什么
- What's that? - Nothing.
-你没事吧 -当然有什么事
- Are you okay? - Yeah, why wouldn't I be okay?
我和我爸度过了完美的下午时光
I had a great afternoon with my dad.
我们一起去慢跑
We went for a jog.
出去吃午饭
Out for lunch.
去了水族馆
The aquarium?
该死
Damn it!
加比有件事我得告诉你
Gabi, there's something I need to tell you.
还记得我跟你说今天下午我跟我爸在一起吗
Remember when I told you I was with my dad this afternoon?
-记得 -那是假的
- Yeah. - I wasn't.
事实是我根本没去见他
See, the thing is I never met him,
这一切都是我瞎编的
and I made the whole thing up.
什么
What?
我跟你那么说好让你别再烦我
I just told you that so I could get you off my back.
我不想见他也知道你不会放过我
I didn't want to meet him and I knew you wouldn't let up.
什么
What?
我根本没必要这么做因为看看你...
And, I didn't even have to do that because, I mean, look at you...
你完全没有插手并且尊重了我的感受
you totally stayed out of it and respected my feelings.
对我是这么做的
Yup, that's what I did.
那么...假设有人带着写有
So... hypothetically if somebody went to the airport
"马特·达农"的牌子去机场
with a sign that said "Matt Danon,"
然后有人主动上前说
and then somebody came up to them and said,
"你好我是马特·达农"
"Hi, I'm Matt Danon,"
那么他极有可能就是你♥爸♥爸马特·达农
odds are pretty good it was in fact your father, Matt Danon.
加比
Gabi...
你做了什么
What did you do?
你问的是现实的还是假设的
Really or hypothetically?
我说了让你别管这事
I told you to stay out of this!
我知道但如果你在我到机场前
Yeah, I know, but if you would have called me
就打电♥话♥骗我说你见到你♥爸♥了
with your fake father story before I got to the airport,
这些事也不会发生
none of this would have happened.
所以你去机场还是我的错吗
So this is my fault you went to the airport?
还有用你的车轧了他
And ran him over with your car.
什么
What?
当你打给我说和你真爸爸在一起时
Listen, when you called me and said you were with your real dad,
我以为我身边的那家伙是个杀人犯
I thought the guy I was with was a murderer,
我和索菲亚要被害死
and me and Sofia were going to die,
但结果他是你的真爸爸
but it turns out it was your real dad,
我和索菲亚没死
and me and Sofia didn't die,
他也没死
and neither did he
因为医院说他没问题了
because the hospital said he's going to be totally fine.
医院吗