浪女大厨（2014）

Young & Hungry S05E02

Part 1 March 29, 2021, 11:29 a.m.

我讨厌情人节
Uck! I hate Valentine's Day.
为什么
Why? Oh...
因为你的悲惨人生
because of your life.
你在找什么
What are you looking for?
肯德里克的花
Flowers from Kendrick's,
前男友的巧克力
chocolates from an ex,
睡在消防梯的流浪汉写的诗
a poem from the homeless guy who sleeps on the fire escape--
啥都行我绝望死了
anything, I'm desperate.
这个虽然不是男人送的
Well, they're not from a man,
但猜猜这是谁送你的巧克力
but guess who did get you chocolates?
-你 -对啦
-You? -Yes!
行了开心点小太阳
C'mon, cheer up, sunshine!
情人节不会那么糟的
Valentine's Day can never be that bad,
我们还有彼此啊
because we'll always have each other.
别美了行吗
And stop smiling, okay?
你开心是因为你的人生里有个男人
You're just happy because you have a man in your life.
我的人生里没有男人
I do not have a man in my life,
只有乔什和我们严格的
I have a Josh, and we have a strictly
积分卡关系
punch-card relationship.
你们俩今晚不过二人世界吗
You guys aren't going to do anything romantic tonight?
没错大家都热衷情人节
That's right! People get crazy on Valentine's Day,
但我们不是情侣所以我们不过
and because we're not a couple, we're not going to celebrate it.
不送礼物不搞情调不说甜言蜜语
No gifts, no romance, no mush.
你的盒子怎么回事
What's up with your box?
我的盒子[阴♥道♥]不会靠近乔什的
My box is not going anywhere near Josh--
你说这个盒子啊
Oh, this box.
埃兰请我给艾略特准备一顿惊喜晚餐
Well, Alan asked me to make a surprise dinner for Elliot,
而我正盼着跟你和尤兰达
and, me, I am looking forward to spending
度过一个狂饮之夜
a booze-filled night with you and Yolanda,
我的闺蜜节
my gal-entines.
你们去哪了
Where the hell have you guys been?
我们不是9点开喝吗
We were supposed to start drinking at 9:00.
晚上9点
P.M.
妈蛋
Oh my damn!
你们得载我去上班
I'm gonna need a ride to work.
饥饿的青春
第五季第二集
不客气埃兰艾略特会喜欢的
My pleasure, Alan. Elliot's gonna love it.
礼物很可爱你们喜欢吃的都装进去了
It's super cute. It's got all your favorite foods in it.
我叫它 "饭基爱"
I call it, "Eat, Gay, Love."
好笑吧...喂
Isn't that fun-- hello?
这是什么
What you got there?
没什么
Um, nothing.
-看起来是个礼物 -为什么这么说
- It looks like a gift. - Why would you say that?
因为这个盒子带蝴蝶结
'Cause it's a box with a big bow on it.
给谁的快说
Who's it for? Spill it!
乔什给乔什的
Um, huh, Josh, it's-- it's for Josh.
这是我送他的情人节小礼物
It's a little Valentine's Day gift that I got for him,
但是别告诉他会搞砸的
but don't tell him. It'll ruin everything.
别担心我会保守秘密的
Please, I can keep a secret.
问问我高中网球教练就知道了
Just ask my high school tennis coach.
加比出发去杂货店了吗
Hey, did Gabi leave for the grocery store yet?
好的我都告诉你
Fine, I'll tell you.
加比给你准备了情人节礼物
Gabi has a Valentine's Day gift for you.
什么不可能
What? No, she doesn't.
她正把它藏进洗衣间呢
She's in the laundry room right now hiding it.
原来我的网球教练就是这么被炒的
See, that's why my tennis coach got fired.
等等我们说好的
Wait, we had an agreement.
不送礼物不搞情调不说甜言蜜语
No gifts, no romance, no mush.
该死我就知道会这样
Dammit, I knew this was going to happen.
看到没
See?
我就知道我们一旦上♥床♥
I knew the minute we were having the sex
她就对我没有抵抗力了
she wouldn't be able to resist me.
现在我该怎么办
Now what am I going to do?
别送回礼就行了
Just don't get her anything in return.
你疯了吗
Are you out of your mind?
我不能不回礼
I can't not get her anything.
你不了解女人吗
Do you know nothing about women?
我们刚认识吗
Did we just meet?
如果加比送我礼物我没回礼
If Gabi gets me a gift and I don't get her one
她会伤心然后
she'll be all hurt, and then
会转化成怨恨
that'll turn to resentment.
那样我们的积分卡关系就结束了
That could be the end of the punch-card relationship,
也许所有的关系都结束了
or maybe our whole relationship.
谢天谢地我跟埃兰不用
Thank god Alan and I don't have
互相送礼物
to get each other gifts.
这就是结婚的好处
That's the benefit of being married.
一朝有保障无须再上心
Hello, commitment. Goodbye, effort.
讲真我该怎么办
Seriously, what am I going to get her?
今天就是情人节了
It's already Valentine's Day.
我可以把埃兰最喜欢的餐厅预订给你
I'd give you my reservations to Alan's favorite restaurant,
金月餐厅
La Lune Jaune,
可我根本就没订
but I didn't make any,
因为我结婚了不用再上心了
because I'm married and I put in zero effort.
乔什我正要...
Hey, Josh, I was--
-我有礼物给你 -什么
-I got you a gift. -What?
是的我有礼物给你
Yup, I got you a gift.
好吧我以为我们说好不送礼物的
Okay, but I thought we said no gifts.
是啊我知道我们说好不送礼物
Ah, yeah, I know we said no gifts,
但有时你说不送别人礼物
but sometimes you say you're not going to get someone a gift
但你还是送了
and you get them one anyway,
这就是为什么我要送你...
which is why I got you a--
要送你
I got you
一顿拉拉月餐厅的晚餐
a dinner at La La Lu Jaune.
好惊喜
Ahh, wow, what a surprise!
我本来跟尤兰达和索菲亚有安排了
Um, I mean, I had plans with Yolanda and Sofia,
那我给索菲亚打个电♥话♥
but I'll just call Sofia right now
问问她该怎么办
so she can tell me what to do!
什么我以为你们说好
What? I thought you guys said
不送对方礼物呢
you weren't getting each other gifts.
我知道但他毁约了还邀我吃晚餐
Yeah I know, but he crumbled and asked me out to dinner.
浪漫晚餐天啊
A romantic dinner. God.
我就知道我们一上♥床♥
I knew once we were having sex
他就对我没有抵抗力
he wouldn't be able to resist me.
你个贱婊
Aw, you poor bitch.
索菲亚我们该怎么办
Sofia, what are we gonna do?
别去
Don't go.
我不能不去
I can't not go.
他被拒绝后会伤心
He'll fell rejected which will turn to hurt,
然后他会用讽刺挖苦来掩饰
which he'll cover with sarcasm,
然后会非常生气生气过后
which is really just anger, and after anger
就无法挽回了
there's no turning back.
我们那复杂而单纯的炮♥友♥关系就破裂了
Our very complicated simply sex relationship will be over!
好吧那就去吧
Okay, so then go,
但如果他搞什么浪漫的话
but if he does anything romantic,
就立马打住告诉他情人节
just shut it down. Make it clear that romance
你最不想要的就是浪漫
is the last thing that you want on Valentine's Day.
索菲亚你在惹男人厌方面真是一流
Wow, Sofia, you are so good at getting guys not to love you.
好吧祝你好运
Okay, well, good luck!
尤兰达
Well, Yolanda,
看来今晚就只剩咱俩了
looks like it's just you and me tonight.
那也挺有趣的
That'll be fun too.
你那是什么表情
What the hell was that look?
老实说吧
Let's be real,
你们两个里边加比比较有趣
of the two of you, Gabi is the fun one.
我也很有趣
I'm fun!
你以为找《唐顿庄园》的
What, did you think looking for continuity errors
穿帮镜头是我今晚的所有计划吗
in Downton Abbey was all I had planned for tonight?
还有啥点份披萨吗
What else? We gonna order some pizza?
再加上各种好玩独特的配料
With all kinds of super fun and unique toppings!
要不我们点个不带配料[上衣]的
How 'bout we order something with no toppings,