浪女大厨（2014）

Young & Hungry S05E06

Part 1 March 29, 2021, 11:30 a.m.

好消息我们的沙发问题解决了
Great news! Our couch problem is solved!
什么沙发问题
What couch problem?
让你膝盖比做宫颈抹片检查时
Uh, the one that's got your knees up higher
翘得还高的问题
than when you're getting a pap smear.
洛根在改造公♥寓♥
So, Logan's remodeling her condo,
她要把旧沙发送我
and she's giving me her old couch!
天啊天啊天啊
Oh, my god, oh, my god, oh, my god...
-拉我起来好让我激动 -好
- Help me up so I can be excited. - Okay.
我们要有新沙发了
We're getting a new couch!
- 最棒的部分是 -怎么可能还有更棒的
- And the best part is-- - How can there be better parts?
现在就到了
It's a-comin a-right a-now!
-天啊你喜欢吗 -天啊我讨厌它
- Oh my god, do you love it? - Oh my god, I hate it!
什么为什么
What? Why?
它丑爆了
It's hideous.
看起来像是多年沙发乱♥伦♥的产物
It looks like the product of years of couch incest.
现在就要送回去
It's a-goin' a-back a-now!
它哪儿也不去
It's not going anywhere.
你明白洛根是我老板吧
Do you understand that Logan is my boss?
如果她来了沙发没在家里怎么办
What if she comes over and the couch isn't here?
如果别人来了沙发在家里怎么办
What if anyone else comes over and the couch is here?
加比办公室那么多人
Gabi... Logan picked me
洛根却选择把沙发送给我
out of everyone in the office to give the couch to.
送回去等于打她的脸
Sending it back would be a slap in her face.
但人家不想要嘛
But I don't want it!
我不想当一辈子助理
Well, I mean, I don't wanna be an assistant my entire life.
等到了升职的时候
And when it comes time for a promotion,
你觉得谁会升职
who do you think'll get it?
无礼地还掉沙发的女孩
The girl who rudely gave back the couch,
还是留下沙发的女孩
or the girl who kept the couch,
因为这表现了她老板的好心和好品位
because it reflects on her boss' kindness and good taste?
你真的觉得
So you really think that
这沙发...能让你升职吗
this couch is, uh... gonna get you a promotion?
因为事情可不是这样的索菲亚
'cause you know, that's really not how it works, Sofia.
加比事情就是这样的
Oh, Gabi, that's exactly how it works.
在此之前洛根和我毫无共同点
Before this, Logan and I had nothing in common.
现在我们有了沙发
Now we have the couch.
等我们单独相处或者上卫生间
So, whenever we're alone, or in the bathroom,
或者谈话的间隙她就会问
or there's a lull in conversation, she'll be like,
"沙发怎么样"
"How's the couch?"
我就会说 "天啊我们很喜欢"
And I'll be like, "Oh, my god! We love it!"
她就会说 "我就知道你想升职吗"
And she'll be like, "I knew you would. You want a promotion?"
我的朋友事情就是这样的
And that, my friend, is how it works.
好吧如果这对你那么重要
Okay, if it's that important to you,
那我们就把沙发留下吧
I guess we'll keep the couch,
但你要知道我讨厌它
But just know that I hate it!
谢谢
Thank you!
还有一件事
And one more thing,
你也许没有兴趣但是...
and you might not be interested in this, but, um...
它还有匹配的搁脚凳哦
there is a matching ottoman.
饥饿的青春
第五季第六集
好吧这是怎么回事
Okay... What's goin' on in here?
老娘在做软糖
I'm makin' freakin' fudge.
有这块白巧克力吃还要做什么软糖
Well, why make fudge when you could have this white chocolate?
拜托我们一周没用积分卡了
Come on, we haven't used the punch card in a week.
这意味着...我只能自己积分
Which means I... had to punch myself.
这里有样东西
All right, here's something that'll...
能让你不再想着做♥爱♥
keep you from thinkin' about sex.
那是啥
Ooof. What is that?
一张沙发
That's a couch.
消化着另一张沙发吗
Digesting another couch?
索菲亚老板把她的丑沙发扔给了我们
Sofia's boss dumped her crappy couch on us.
你真幸运
Oh! Well, you're in luck.
我刚开♥发♥了一款新应用叫"闲换钱"
I just developed this new app for called "Crap4cash."
太棒了
Hey... that's great,
我有一堆闲置
I have a ton of crap
而我需要一堆钱
and I need a ton of cash.
大家都是加比
Everyone does, Gabi.
但大家都讨厌什么
But what does everybody hate?
见到买♥♥你闲置的变♥态♥
Meeting the creep who bought your crap.
所以我开♥发♥了匿名送货服务
That's why I developed an anonymous delivery service
这样你就不用见
that shows up so you don't have to meet the creep...
买♥♥你闲置的变♥态♥了
who bought your crap.
天啊真聪明
My god! That's genius!
手♥机♥给我我把你的沙发发上去
Give me your phone, I'll put your couch on there.
我倒想但我不能卖♥♥
No... I wish, but I can't sell it.
你不用接受报价
Well, you don't have to accept any bids.
我只是教你怎么用
I'll just show you how it works,
把你的手♥机♥给我
give me your phone.
软糖
Oh... fudge!
你在干什么
What-- what-- what-- what are you doing?
今天是我们在脂肪战士称重的第一天
Today is our first weigh-in at fat fighters.
我们还没过去呢
Yeah, well, we're not there yet.
让我弄明白
So, let me get this straight,
你要带脂肪最多的东西去减肥中心吗
you're taking the thing with the most fat in it to a diet center?
不是我还带尤兰达去
No, I'm also taking Yolanda.
那是什么声音
What was that?
是有人出价时
That's the sound the app makes
应用的系统提示音
when someone bids on your crap.
有人出价了500块
Someone just offered you 500.
美元吗
Dollars?
天啊带照片吗
Oh my god, that's with the photo?
650了
650!
天啊你在逗我吗
My god, are you kidding me?
我不能卖♥♥ 我答应索菲亚我不卖♥♥
No, no, I can't sell it, I promised Sofia I wouldn't.
800块
Eight hund-oh!
成交
Sold!
天啊那是你婚礼上的拉比
Oh my god... That's the rabbi from your wedding!
夏皮罗拉比
Oh, Rabbi Shapiro.
我们去打招呼吧
Let's go say hi.
不行
Oh-- hell, no!
我没跟你说这事
Uh... I never told you this...
但我们在你的新婚之夜搞上了
but we hooked up on your wedding night.
你跟他上♥床♥了吗
You slept with him?
难道犹太人受的苦还不够多吗
Haven't the jews suffered enough?
闭嘴我们约会了一阵子
Shut up! We were dating for a while,
然后他不再打电♥话♥了
then suddenly he stopped calling.
我不知道发生了什么事
I have no idea what happened.
我知道你让他看了你的裸体
I do. You let him see you naked.
我走了
I'm outta here.
真的吗你不想跟拉比重燃旧情吗
Oh, really? So you have no desire to rekindle with the rabbi?
没错不想
Damn right I don't.
不过他穿着拉比衫还挺可爱的
Although he does look cute in that rabbi sweater.
大家好我是本·夏皮罗
Hello, everybody. I am Ben Shapiro,
一位拉比也是一位减肥顾问
a Rabbi and a fat fighter counselor.
我从在沙漠里游荡
I went from wandering around
到思考"这里为什么没甜点"
the desert to wondering, "Where's dessert?
他还是那么逗
He still makes me laugh.
今日主题情感
Today's topic... Emotions.
化悲痛为食欲
Instead of eating our feelings,
不如化悲痛为力量发泄吧
we have to learn to express it. Let it out!
你到底为什么不约我了
Why the hell you stop calling me?
尤兰达
Yolanda?
你好吗
How are you?
你不能吃那个
Hey! Hey! You can't eat that!
胖子说啥
Fatty says what?
那个得20分呢
That's like 20 points!
这个软糖是脱脂的
Oh! This is actually fat-free fudge!
想来点吗宝贝
Want some, honey?
天啊
Oh my god!
你知道我找个好吃的脱脂甜点
Do you know how long I've been looking for a fat-free dessert