浪女大厨（2014）

加比
Gabi?
"我接受了你的建议 索菲亚
"I took your advice, Sofia."
你读到这张便条时 我已经跟乔什上飞机了
"By the time you read this, I'll be on the plane with Josh,
我们会成为那种
and we'll be one of those
一直亲热的烦人情侣
annoying couples who can't stop making out."
谢谢 没有你逼我 我是做不到的
"Thank you. I would have never done this without you pushing me.
我爱你 我爱你 我爱你"
"I love you, I love you, I love you."
我恨你 我恨你 我恨你
I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!
他的心理医生
...his therapist!
乔什跟他的心理医生在飞机上吗
Josh is on the plane with his therapist?!
是的
Yes.
你对他说了什么吗
Did you say anything to him?
没有 我要说什么啊
No. What was I supposed to say?
我以为我准备好原谅他了 因为我太蠢了吗
That I thought I was ready to forgive him because I'm so stupid?
或者认为他是我的真命天子 因为我太蠢了吗
Or how I thought he was my one-in-a-million 'cause I'm so stupid?
或者以为他见到我会多激动 因为我太蠢了吗
Or how I thought he was excited to see me 'cause I'm so stupid?
加比 你别再责怪自己了
Gabi, you have to stop blaming yourself.
知道吗 你说得对
You know what? You're right.
我怪你
I blame you!
是你叫我上飞机
You're the one who told me to come on the plane
像傻瓜一样对他投怀送抱的
and throw myself in his arms like a big stupid!
好吧 加比 冷静点
Okay, Gabi, just calm down.
你已经上飞机了
You're already on the plane.
你一直都想去澳大利亚呢
And hey, you always wanted to go to Australia.
我才不想
No, I haven't!
这架蠢飞机要在夏威夷中转
This stupid plane is stopping in Hawaii,
旅途时间更长了
which makes this trip even longer.
不 那很棒 你就在夏威夷下飞机
No, no, that's great. You just get off in Hawaii.
做什么
And do what?
我谁都不认识 也不会说当地语言
I don't know anybody. I don't speak the language.
听我说 就在夏威夷下飞机
Listen to me, just get off the plane in Hawaii,
然后买♥♥去旧金山的机票
and then buy a ticket to San Francisco.
不行
I can't.
我的里程都用在去澳大利亚的单程机票上了
I used up all my miles with a one-way trip to Australia.
没事 你可以用我的
That's okay. You can use some of mine.
你也没剩的了
You don't have any left either.
对不起
I'm sorry.
我也许有办法帮你
I may have a way to help you out.
我会做 是什么 我做
I'll do it. What is it? I'll do it.
所以 你具体要怎么帮我啊
So, um, how is it exactly that you're going to help me?
好吧 是这样的
Okay. This is the thing.
我的情况和你的类似
I'm in a situation very similar to yours,
但是更悲伤
but way sadder.
无意冒犯
Okay, no offense,
但没什么比我遇到的事更惨的了
but there is nothing worse than what just happened to me.
我在婚礼上被放鸽子了
I got stood up at the altar.
好吧 我要还给你一个
Okay, I'm gonna give you one of these back.
还有
Oh, there's more.
我现在自己在度蜜月
I am on my honeymoon right now, by myself.
你在度"单人蜜月"吗
You're on your "One-y-moon"?
如果她没有
That would be funny
扯出我的心然后狠狠践踏 这还挺好笑的
if I hadn't had my heart ripped from my body and stomped on.
这是我的提议
So, here's my offer.
我要去毛伊岛的这间度假村
I'm heading to this resort in Maui
叫做♥爱♥情开关
called Flip Flops for Lovers,
我一直在手♥机♥上查
which I have been exploring on my phone,
结果发现整个度假村只对情侣开放
only to find out that the entire resort is for couples only.
所以我需要你
Which is where you come in.
你是要我问乔什和朗兹医生
Are you asking me to ask Josh and Dr. Rounds
想不想买♥♥你的蜜月套餐吗
if they want to buy your honeymoon package off of you?
什么 不是
What? No.
我是想提议
I was gonna suggest that
你跟我一起度蜜月
you come on my honeymoon with me.
不用做♥爱♥什么的
Not for sex or anything.
你是说作为同是天涯沦落人吗
You mean, like, as mutually devastated strangers?
没错
Exactly.
你回答之前
And before you answer,
我叫亚当·弗利
my name is Adam Foley.
是个好人
I'm a really good guy.
来搜我吧
Let's Google me.
看 我开了自己的T恤公♥司♥
So, look, I own my own T-shirt company.
"脑子T恤"
"Shirt-for-brains."
这是我做的T恤
I made this shirt.
刚结
Ju Mar!
我不懂
I don't get it.
阿曼达本来该穿另一半的
Amanda was supposed to wear the other half.
刚刚结婚
你怎么说
So, what do you say?
跟我去度蜜月 作为回报
Come with me, and, in return,
我会给你买♥♥回旧金山的机票
I'll buy you a ticket back to San Francisco?
我不知道
I don't know.
豪华酒店 免费食物和酒
A luxury hotel, free food, free booze.
我有什么好处啊
What's in it for me?
加比 你愿意做我的假妻子吗
Gabi, will you be my fake wife?
我愿意
Fake yeah, I will.
难以置信我们租的海滨别♥墅♥
I can't believe our rental beach house
原来是这种可怕的地方
turned out to be such a hellhole.
看起来真是老旧又恶心
It was so old and disgusting in person.
跟照片上完全不同
It looked nothing like the photos.
现在你知道你在线约会对象的感受了
Well, now you know how all your online dates feel.
我刚跟租赁公♥司♥打完电♥话♥
I just got off the phone with the rental company,
他们会给我们退全款
and they're giving us a full refund.
那我们可以住这里了
Then we can stay here.
我已经问过 他们还有空房♥
I already checked. They still have rooms available.
你们好 我是丹尼 欢迎来到爱情开关
Aloha! I'm Danny. Welcome to Flip Flops for Lovers,
仅限情侣的度假村 能为你们登记入住吗
a couples only retreat. May I check you in?
等等 仅限情侣 单身不许入内吗
Wait. Couples only? As in no singles allowed?
是的
Yup.
你们哪两个是一对
So, which one of you is the couple?
-我们是 -我们是
- We are. - We are!
天啊 你们是三人情侣吗
Oh my God, you're a thrupple!?
什么情侣
A whupple?
三个人的情侣
A three-person couple.
我们想增加业务 通过进入...
We're trying to increase business by penetrating--
没有双关
no pun intended--
三人恋爱市场
the three-person relationship market.
如果你们三个是爱人
So, if you three are lovers,
我让你们免费住三晚
I'll give you three nights for free?
-真带劲 -我们现在做♥爱♥吧
- Spicy! - Let's start having sex now.
那些继续前往澳大利亚的乘客
And for those of you continuing with us to Australia,
请在座位上等待夏威夷旅客离机
please remain seated while our Hawaii passengers deplane.
我其实挺开心数创奖的人
Well, you know, I'm actually kind of glad the DINGO people
给我订了民航♥班♥机
sent me on a commercial flight.
偶尔体验下平民生活也不错
Feels good to rough it every once in a while.
热毛巾
Ooh, hot towel!
而且私人飞机也更难溜进来
Plus, private jets are much harder to sneak onto.
开玩笑
Kidding.
-干杯 -干杯
-Cheers. -Cheers.
知道吗 我从没去过澳大利亚
You know, I've never been to Australia?
看啊 考拉
I mean, look, Koalas!
我最近听说由于衣原体的爆发
I recently read the Koala population is suffering
导致考拉数量急剧减少
due to a catastrophic outbreak of chlamydia.
是啊 我猜这是它们这么可爱的报应
Yeah. I guess that's what they get for being so darn cute.
你真逗
You're funny.
这样真有趣 人生真有趣
This is funny. Life's funny.
是啊
Yeah.
我们在说什么
What are we talking about?
就是我们怎么会上了同一班飞机
Just how we ended up on this plane together.
你买♥♥了张机票跟着我吗
You bought a ticket and followed me?
我不该这么做吗
Should I have not done that?
不是 其实现在感觉挺好的