浪女大厨（2014）

Young & Hungry S02E08

Part 3 March 29, 2021, 12:16 p.m.

只是不知道还能当礼物送人
I just didn't know that you could register for one.
天啊我是怎么了
Oh my god, what is going on with me?
自从我跟卡洛琳分手交往过了
I mean, since I broke up with Caroline, there's been
吉莉劳伦肖娜差点有肖娜的女儿
Jilly, Lauren, Shauna, almost Shauna's daughter,
现在又回到了卡洛琳
and now back to Caroline.
你套了自己一圈呢
You lapped yourself.
我知道
I know.
高中的时候我肯定高兴坏了
High school Josh would have been stoked to be in this position,
但这不是我
but this is not me.
你猜怎么着
You know what?
在我想明白这事以前
I am not sleeping with any more women
不会再和女人睡觉了
until I figure out what is going on.
听着
Listen,
你不是最近唯一搞砸的人
you're not the only one who's been messing up recently.
我...
I, uh,
我不小心介绍了索菲亚一个三明治
I accidentally set Sofia up with a sandwich.
我看出你想干什么了加比
I see what you're doing, Gabi.
你想编个比我♥干♥的还蠢的事
You're making up something more idiotic than what I did
好安慰我的心灵
to help me feel better about myself.
谢谢
Thank you.
是啊我是在这样
Yeah, that's what I'm doing.
尤兰达
Yolanda!
我有话跟你说
I have to tell you something!
在我吸尘的时候说吧
Tell me while I vacuum,
我赶着和马可约会呢
I have to hurry for my date with Marco!
就是这事
About that,
我以前和他约会过
I used to date him!
什么
What?
我以前和马可约会过
I used to date Marco!
你在说什么
What the hell you talkin' about?
马可喜欢女人
Marco likes women.
现在而已
Now.
我不相信你
I don't believe you.
有个鲨鱼纹身在他的两...
Shark tattoo right between the--
妈惹
Oh my damn!
对不起
I'm sorry.
马可一定是在探索性向
Marco must have been experimenting,
我就是他的实验室
and I was his laboratory.
不敢相信我会这么说
I can't believe I'm saying this,
但我不希望你受伤害
but I don't want you to get hurt.
因为就算马可变直了
'Cause even though Marco went straight,
可能还会弯回去
he still might fluctuate.
你真是贴心艾略特
Oh, that is so sweet, Elliot.
不过我们现实点吧
But let's be real.
他游览过"亚洲风景" 但还是更爱我的风情
He went "Gaysian," then changed his persuasion.
我想了下和鲁本的事
I had a thought about Ruben.
你发现他吃东西很奇怪然后甩了他是不是
Oh, you noticed he chews weird, and you kicked him to the curb?
他吃东西很完美
He chews perfectly.
终于遇到一个
Finally!
听着重点是
Hey, listen, the point is
你状态又回来了
uh, you got your groove back.
所以现在可以重返情场
You know, so now you can get out there
和别人约会而不是鲁本
and you can date other people, not Ruben.
你疯了吗
Are you crazy?
我终于遇到了个喜欢的男人
I finally meet a guy I like,
所以我要打破七次约会的规矩
that's why I'm breaking the seven-date rule
今晚就和他上♥床♥
on having sex tonight.
不不要
No! No, no, no. Don't.
收起你的胯
Put that away!
规则很明确好吗
The rule is very clear, okay?
真找不到缺点了再上♥床♥
Booty's gotta wait until you find things you hate.
好吧怎么了
Okay, what is going on?
因为几天前
Because a couple of days ago,
你还等不急让我去约会
you couldn't wait for me to meet someone.
现在又想我甩了他吗
And now you want me to dump him?
好吧坐下来
Okay, sit down.
鲁本有些事你会想知道的
There's something about Ruben you should know.
好吧你说
Okay, well tell me.
因为我觉得他是完美的男人
Because I think he's the perfect man.
不是男人...
Not so much of a man...
是三明治人
as a manwich.
什么
What?
鲁本...
Ruben...
鲁本是种三明治的名字
是个三明治
is a sandwich.
是啊加比
Yes, Gabi.
我猜他一定没听过这笑话
I'm sure he's never heard that one before.
不不不我想说的是
No, no, no. No! Listen, my point is
鲁本是个三明治
Ruben is a sandwich,
一个职业三明治
a professional sandwich.
鲁本就是萨明治的萨米
Ruben is Sammy the sammich.
等等
Hold on.
你是说那个站在外面...
You mean, the one that stands outside the--
-穿着... -是
- With the-- - Yeah.
-还做着... -是
- Who does the-- - Yeah.
-操他... -走
- What the-- - Go!
我不懂了你干嘛不像跟其他人一样
I don't understand. Why can't you just break up with him
发短♥信♥分手呢
over text like all the other ones?
因为他骗了我
Because he lied to me.
我差点就被他"治"了
I almost had a one-night "standwich."
他在这
Here he is.
你为什么不告诉我
Why didn't you tell me?
我们聊了一晚上
I mean, we stayed up all night talking.
说了那么多秘密
We shared intimate details of our lives.
我连你最喜欢的三明治都知道
I know your favorite sandwich!
你居然忘了说你自己也是
But you forgot to mention that you are one!
别推我
Don't push me!
不许推我闺蜜过来
Nobody shoves my best friend. Come here!
你得道歉
You got to apologize!
你不是鲁本
You're not Ruben.
我当然不是
You're damn right I'm not.
五秒原则对不起
Uh, five second rule. I'm so sorry!
真的对不起
I'm so sorry.
索菲亚你来干什么
Sofia? What are you doing here?
天啊那手套
Oh my god. The gloves.
你是个三明治
You are a sandwich!
我准备告诉你的
I was gonna tell you,
但加比逼我别告诉
but Gabi made me swear not to.
什么
What?
你居然想怪我
All right, you can't pin this all on me.
要不是你在婚介应用上
This never would have happened
填的假冒档案也不会这样
if you didn't lie to me on your HeyCupid profile.
等等妹子
Back it up, sista.
档案
Profile?
我以为你说他是库珀的朋友
I thought you said he was a friend of Cooper's.
听着我就直说了好吧
Okay. Listen, I'm just gonna come clean. Okay?
库珀也用婚介应用...
Cooper went on HeyCupid--
-加比 -抱歉
- Gabi. - I'm sorry.
我假冒了你的交友档案
I set you up with a fake dating profile,
-因为我想帮你找到真命天子 -天啊
- 'cause I wanted you to find the perfect guy. - Oh my god.
这可过分了...
You know, this is too much...
即使对你来说
even for you.
这手套没中指算你走运
You're lucky this doesn't have a middle finger!
大家都在说这里
Everyone's talking about this place.
菜看起来也很好吃
And the food looks good.
上等腰肉牛排听着真棒
Oh, the porterhouse steak sounds awesome.
但中式鸡肉沙拉看起来也超好吃
Oh, but the Chinese chicken salad looks delish!
你两道菜都行[可直可弯] 是吗
So you can go either way, huh?
当然了
I sure can.
我觉得我要沙拉吧
I think I'll have the salad.
我喜欢亚洲酱料[穿衣服]