浪女大厨（2014）

Young & Hungry S02E08

Part 1 March 29, 2021, 12:16 p.m.

《绝命毒师》第五季下载完毕
Breaking Bad season five downloaded.
今晚我们要看老白咯
Walter White is on tonight.
索菲亚周五晚上了
Sofia, it's Friday night!
是的
Yeah, it is!
太阳出来我们才睡觉
We're not gonna sleep till the sun comes up!
那是必须的
You're damn right we're not!
你不换衣服吗
Aren't you gonna change?
我为什么要换衣服
Why would I change?
我们今晚要去泡吧
We're going out clubbing tonight.
不我们今晚要看完《绝命毒师》
No, we're not. We're finishing breaking bad tonight.
你知道还有什么也"绝"了吗你的约会生活
You know what's breaking bad? Your dating life.
你说什么呢
What are you talking about?
我约会啊
I date.
你过去一年里才约了三次会
You've been on three dates in the past year
还找了个理由讨厌他们所有人
and you found a reason to hate all of them.
不是那样的
That's not true!
你记得超棒先生吗
You remember Mr. Brilliant?
我怎么能忘
How could I forget?
"交通超棒"
"The traffic is brilliant.
"灯光超棒"
"The lighting was brilliant.
"这些冰块超棒"
"These ice cubes are brilliant."
你也不喜欢瑞克
Okay, well, then you didn't like Rick
因为他给i上加点时画的是气泡
because he dotted his I's with a bubble.
他还用翻盖手♥机♥
And he had a flip phone.
我们是野人吗
What are we, cavemen?
听着
Okay, listen...
亲爱的你想过也许你太挑剔了吗
Sweetie, did you ever think maybe you're just a little too picky?
不
No!
你只是不懂
Look, you just don't get it,
因为你有超级库珀熊
because you have a super Cooper bear.
是啊所以我才一直催促你
Yeah, and that's why I'm pushing you so hard.
我也希望你拥有超棒的其他熊熊
I want you to have a super significant other bear.
不可能的
Well, it ain't gonna happen,
因为所有完美男人都有主了
because all the perfect guys are taken.
我遇到了完美的男人
I met the perfect guy!
马可
Marco!
波罗[水球]
Polo!
你在哪里遇见他的游泳池吗
Where'd you meet him? The pool?
在"你好丘比特"的一池帅哥中遇见的
In the pool of hotties on "Heycupid."
那是一款约会应用
It's a dating app
你可以拿起手♥机♥
where you hold your phone up
如果附近有人喜欢你的资料...
and if a guy nearby likes your profile...
现在我有了马可
Now I have Marco.
他是个炫酷型男开了一家精品肉店
He's cool, sexy, and owns a gourmet butcher shop.
索菲亚很久没吃到"好肉"了
Sofia hasn't had a good piece of meat in a while.
我们今晚要进行第二次约会了
So, uh, we're going on our second date tonight,
我过来拿点酒
so I just came to pick up some wine.
还有你们烤箱里的任何东西
And whatever might be in your oven.
妹子我真高兴搬到了你们隔壁
Girl, I am so glad I moved next door.
-索菲亚 -别说
- Sofia-- - Don't even say it.
我不会用那款应用
I'm not using that app.
世界上的男人们你们有过机会
Men of the world, you've had your chance.
老娘不陪你们玩了
My ass might not quit, but I do.
幸亏我不会
Yeah, well, luckily I don't.
"你好丘比特" 见见索菲亚·玛利亚·康斯薇拉·
"Heycupid," Meet Sofia Maria Consuelo
拉斐尔·罗德里格斯吧
Rafeala Rodriguez.
这会是自动纠错的噩梦
That's gonna be an autocorrect nightmare.
我需要你停止可悲的生活
I need you to press pause on your pathetic little life
帮我藏起来乔什的东西
and help me hide Josh's stuff.
卡洛琳刚宣布订婚了
Caroline just announced her engagement.
什么
What?
但是她跟乔什两个月前才分手
But she and Josh broke up, like, two months ago.
我还以为她忙着
I thought she'd be too busy
用斑点狗皮做外套
making coats out of dalmatian puppies
来再次结婚呢
to get married again.
等等乔什知道吗
Wait, does Josh know?
你觉得我为啥要藏起他的笔记本
Why do you think I'm hiding his laptop
智能手♥机♥
his smartphone...
还有这个震动的玩意儿
and whatever this vibrating thing is?
尤兰达刚告诉我卡洛琳订婚了吗
Yolanda just told me Caroline's engaged?
该死
Damn it!
听着乔什
Listen, Josh,
卡洛琳订婚了
just because Caroline is engaged
并不意味着你应该垂头丧气
doesn't mean you need to go start feeling all bad about yourself.
我没啊
I don't.
比如说我不够有魅力吗
You know, like, "Am I not charming enough?
-我不够幽默吗我是不是胖了 -加比
- "Am I not funny enough? Am I getting fat?" - Gabi.
告诉你一下乔什
Just for the record, Josh,
就算你肥了我也依然爱你
I'd love you even if you did get fat.
各位我为卡洛琳感到高兴
Guys, I'm happy for Caroline.
我们不是天生一对没事的
We weren't meant to be together. It's all good.
你没必要为了我们逞英雄大个儿
You don't need to be brave for us, big guy.
来吧
Bring it in.
我不用抱抱
I don't need to go in.
我没事
I'm good.
-我能告诉你一个秘密吗 -什么
- Can I tell you a secret? - What?
如果他胖了我不会爱他
If he got fat, wouldn love him.
艾略特你能帮我拿一下手♥机♥吗
Oh, Elliot, can you grab my phone?
我在忙着做饺子
I'm elbow-deep in dumplings.
我在忙着"我不在乎"
I'm elbow-deep in "I don't care."
拜托我给索菲亚编了假约会档案
Please, I made Sofia a fake dating profile
每次它叮的一声就说明她有了对象
and everytime it dings, it means she got a match.
你不想看看吗
Don't you want to see?
那男人没穿上衣吗
Are the guys shirtless?
-穿了 -那就不要
- No. - Then no.
该死
Shoot.
鲁本
Ooh, Ruben.
来看看大学毕业生
Let's see, college graduate.
做营销
Works in marketing,
1米
five foot...
Eleven!
艾略特看来我们有对象了
Elliot, it looks like we have a match.
你知道从统计学角度而言
Did you know, statistically,
手♥机♥比马桶还要脏吗
cellphones are dirtier than toilet seats?x7fx7f
不知道失陪了我要去卫生间
I did not. Excuse me, I'll be in the bathroom,
把脸擦烂为止
scrubbing my face till I bleed.
你觉得怎么样
What do you think?
马可要带我去吃午餐
Marco's taking me to lunch,
我打算扮嫩
and I'm trying to look young.
他要在20年前接你吗
Is he picking you up 20 years ago?
我要去补妆
I'm gonna go touch-up my makeup.
乔什的滚漆筒在洗衣间
Josh's paint roller is in the laundry room.
你好我是来...
Hi, I'm here to--
艾略特
Elliot?
马可
Marco?
你就是跟尤兰达约会的马可吗
You're the Marco that's going out with Yolanda?
但你以前跟男人约会
But you used to date men,
我说的男人是指我
and by men, I mean me.
好吧这有点尴尬了
Okay, this just got a little weird.
麦当娜演唱会后我就没见过你
I haven't seen you since the Madonna concert.
你不该在那里甩了我
That was a terrible place to dump me.
之后我再也听不下去她的歌♥了
I haven't been able to listen to her music since.
亲爱的没人能听
Honey, no one has.
艾略特
Oh, Elliot,
看来你已经见过马可了
I see you've already met Marco.
是的我们刚见
Yes, we just met.
刚见
Just now.
不是在布拉德的托尼奖派对上认识的
Not at Brad's Tony Awards party.
走吧宝贝
Well, let's go, baby.
马可你真的不觉得"走后门"
Marco, are you sure you wouldn't be more comfortable