年轻的教宗（2016）

以及这所有的一切里解脱出来
gay couples, abortion, scientific research.
长话短说 圣父大人
To cut a long story short, Holy Father,
多亏了您我才能开启一场革命啊
thanks to you I can start a revolution.
很有说服力
A very persuasive speech.
我很庆幸我们终于开始讲道理了
I'm glad we're finally beginning to talk sense.
有说服力但十分愚蠢
Persuasive and stupid,
就像所有政客的讲话一样
I might add, like every politicians' speech.
而且 不切实际
And what's more, unrealizable.
不切实际
Unrealizable?
走着瞧吧
We shall see about that!
现在 如果你能听进我所讲的话
Now, if you'd care to listen to me,
我会向你证明主的存在
I'll show you that God exists,
还有我和上帝如何去摧毁
and how God and I can annihilate that 41% of the population
使你如此乐观自恋的41%
that makes you feel so cheerful and full of yourself.
我可在等着听呢 圣父大人
I am very eager to hear what you have to say, Holy Father.
我很荣幸
I'm glad.
你想 总理先生
You see, Mr. Prime Minister,
在六十年代 那些年轻人在街上游♥行♥抗♥议♥
in the Sixties the young people that protested in the streets
嚷嚷着各种异端邪说 但是有一点很好
spouted all kind of heresies, all except one:
打造理想世界的动力
Power to the imagination.
这点 他们是值得赞赏的
In that, they were correct.
唯一的问题是他们根本就没有概念什么样的未来才是光明的
The only problem was they had no imagination.
你也不知道
And neither do you.
但是主和我却十分清楚
But God and I have plenty.
主和我可以说是看的太清了
God and I are simply dripping with imagination.
现在 尽可能的和我来一起想象一些事
Now, just try and imagine something with me:
六个月后 意大利将举♥行♥全国大选
In six months, Italy will hold the general elections,
而且你会努力保持住着百分之41选民的支持
and you will try to maintain or increase
或更上一层楼 进一步提高你的支持率
your 41% share of the electorate.
现在的所有事实都预示这
And right now everything indeed
你完全能够维持住这41%的支持率
points to your ability to maintain that 41%.
-当然 -但请你想象一下
- Yeah. - But just imagine,
就在要进行大选的几周前 有消息传出
a few weeks before the election, it comes an announcement.
教宗庇护十三世将进行第一次
Pope Pius XIII has decided to appear in public
公众露面
for the very first time.
对意大利天主教♥徒♥进行演说
To talk to the Italian Catholics.
多么病态的好奇心
What morbid curiosity!
整个世界都是好奇得要死
The whole world is dying of curiosity.
一定会是万众瞩目
And it is absolutely to be expected,
这很正常 我们都希望去查探那些隐藏的东西
it's normal, we all want to see that which is hidden,
我们都想去直视那些禁止看的东西
we all want to stare the forbidden in the face.
随着庇护十三世的出现 和他那绝美的蓝色双瞳
Pius XIII appears and so do his beautiful blue-eyes...
柔软圆润之唇
and this soft, round mouth.
多么耀眼夺目的景象 耀眼到使人们目无别物
A dazzling image, so dazzling it blinds people.
换句话说 是一种震撼的 使人浮想联翩的景象
In other words, a powerful, an evocative image,
虽然不会像上帝出现时人们的那种惊诧
not unlike that of Christ.
但是庇护十三世不只是耀眼夺目
But Pius XIII doesn't merely dazzle,
他也能使人安心臣服
he offers reassurance as well.
随后是一场伟大的演说 充满了各种拉丁语的引用
With a magnificent speech, full of quotations in Latin,
告诫这那些信徒 一定不要惧怕
it tells them that they, the faithful, must not be afraid.
而且有着这样一位英俊的教宗以基♥督♥之名来抚慰你们
And how could they be afraid, with a Pope as handsome
还有什么值得你们去怕呢
and reassuring as Christ?
最后 就是在大选开始的几周前
Last of all, just a few short weeks before the elections,
教宗说了这样两个词
the Pope says just two words:
不干政
"Non expedit".
-你明白这话意味着什么吗 -不
- Do you know what that means? - No.
你当然不懂 你还太年轻
No, of course you don't. You're far too young.
不干政这一惯例是由庇护九世在1868年第一次提出的
The "Non expedit" Was first issued by Pius IX in 1868.
但在1919年被本笃十五世废止了
It was eliminated by Benedict XV in 1919,
可你猜我会怎样做
but guess what I can do?
我可不对这41%的意大利人负责
What I, who am not answerable to 41% of the Italians,
我只对主负责 并且 主可不会因为我犯了什么错误
but only to God who, by the way, does not express His displeasure
就跑到社交网站上去炮轰我
on social networks if I make a mistake.
可你猜我会怎样做
Guess what I can do?
我会恢复不干政这一惯例
I can restore the "Non expedit".
在场的天主教♥徒♥都会赶着去谷歌♥查这几个词有何深意
The Catholics will all rush to Google those words.
两个词是什么意思呢
What do they mean?
不干政 意味着教宗认为
The "Non expedit" Means that the Holy Father
天主教♥徒♥们去为意大利的大选投票
decrees it is unacceptable for Catholics
是不可接受的
to vote in the Italian elections.
还有你知道你进行的
And do you know what the
那些民调揭示出了什么吗
surveys that you have commissioned tell us?
意大利总人口百分之八十七点八的人
They tell us that the number of Italians who identify themselves
都认同自己为天主教♥徒♥
as Catholics are 87.8% of the population.
或许你会说
Now you may say to me:
他们可以无视你的指示
They could simply disobey you.
确实可能
True.
也许天主教♥徒♥会违背教宗的旨意
But while a Catholic might disobey the Pope,
但他们绝不会违背基♥督♥的意愿
they'd never disobey Christ.
我已经是前者了
I'm already the former,
但是请相信我 只要我想
but believe me, if I want to,
我就能使他们认可我是后者
I can have myself accredited as the latter as well,
一旦我这样做了 你就会在大选中失势
and when I do, you'll lose your election.
结局就是这样
Here's how it works:
既然你百分之三十一的选票都是天主教♥徒♥投的
Since you get 31% of your votes from the Catholic electorate,
没了他们 你只剩百分之十的支持率
ah, you'd wind up with a mere 10%.
如果我是你的话就不会对这些数据如此确定了
I wouldn't be so sure of those numbers, if I were you.
总理先生啊
Mr. Prime Minister,
请看这镜中的映像
take a look in this mirror.
你看到了什么
What do you see?
是两个年轻人
Two young men.
其中一人还打扮奇怪
One of whom is dressed in a slightly odd style.
我 却看见了两个大新闻
I, on the other hand, see two media events.
其中有一个已经发生了 就是关于你的
One has already taken place, that's you.
另一个即将发生
The other is about to happen.
现在 我已经向你
Now, having set out
陈述证明了上帝是真实存在的
to prove to you the existence of God,
我讲完了
I believe I'm done.
但是既然这样 为什么
But in that case, why...
为什么你还不在公众面前露面呢
why haven't you appeared in public yet?
因为还没这个必要
Because there's still no need.
你说的不完全错 这个教宗就是个魔鬼
You weren't all that wrong: This Pope is diabolical.
早安
Good morning.
这个教宗是位圣人
This Pope is a saint.
在我和圣父大人见过面后我非常确定这一点
I can say that much after my meeting with the Holy Father.
一个温馨 收获颇丰而又针锋相对的会面
A warm, productive and stimulating meeting.
然而我仍与圣座存在着诸多
Nonetheless, substantial disagreements
根本性的分歧
remain with the Holy See.
尽管教宗仍有疑虑 但意大利政♥府♥
The Italian government, despite the Pontiff's misgivings,
还是会继续推动事实婚姻合法化的进程
will continue the efforts to legalize common law marriages,
无论是何种性取向
no matter what the sexual orientation is.
还有 如你们所知
And, as you know,
千分之八的教会税的修订
the revision of the eight per thousand Church tax is approaching
将会成为我们下一次内阁会议的议题
and will be the subject of our next cabinet meeting.
圣父大人 您愿意让我尽我所能
Holy Father, would you like me to see what I can do
去改进我们和意大利政♥府♥的关系么
to mend the relations with the Italian Government?
-他只是在虚张声势 -谁
- He's bluffing. - Who?
那个正在电视上正在口若悬河的年轻人
The young man in a hurry who's speaking on TV right now.
他正在混淆视听
He's selling smoke and mirrors.
他只会光说不做
He won't do a thing he says.
圣父大人 我读过了那些已被各项委员会
Holy Father, I've read the draft bills
批准了的草法律案
that have already been approved by the various commissions.
那些人是认真的
These people are deadly serious.
这千分之八教会税的留存
The revision of the eight per thousand Church tax
会威胁到意大利主教们的生存问题
would threaten the survival of the Italian bishops.
那又如何呢
Would that be such a bad thing?
关我们什么事 我们俩可是处在教廷之巅
What do we care? You and I are the Holy See.
意大利的主教们能够照顾好自己
The Italian bishops can take care of themselves.
圣父大人 求您了 这一点都不好笑
Holy Father, I beg you, this is no laughing matter.
放轻松 他就是在吓唬人
Rest easy, he's bluffing.