你好 罗马
Ciao, Rome!
你好 世界
Ciao, world!
你们好
Ciao!
我们遗忘了什么
What have we forgotten?
我们到底遗忘了什么
What have we forgotten?
我们遗忘了你
We have forgotten you!
让我再说清楚些
Let me be very clear:
我之所以在这 只有一个简单的原因
I'm here for one very simple reason.
就是不遗忘任何一个人
To not forget anyone.
上帝不会将任何人遗弃
God does not leave anyone behind.
这是在我决意侍奉他时 他告诉我的
That is what He told me when I decided to serve Him.
现在 我也将这句话告诉你们
And it is what I say to you now.
我侍奉上帝 我侍奉你们
I serve God. I serve you!
我们遗忘了那些
We've forgotten the women and children,
将用自己的爱与善改变世界的妇女儿童
who will change this world with their love and their kindness.
他们以自己非凡而神圣的天性嬉戏玩耍着
And with their marvelous, divine disposition to play.
玩耍是让我们与生命和谐共生
Play is the only authentic means we have
真正而唯一的途径
to make us feel in harmony with life
若想与主同在 我们必要与生命融洽
And to be in harmony with God we have to be in harmony with life.
我们别无选择
We don't have a choice:
我们必须与主同在
we must be in harmony with God!
而除此之外我们还忘了什么
And what else have we forgotten?
我们还忘了自♥慰♥
We have forgotten to masturbate,
忘了采取避孕措施
to use contraceptives,
忘了堕胎
to get abortions,
忘了庆祝同性婚姻
to celebrate gay marriages,
忘了允许神父们彼此相爱
to allow priests to love each other,
甚至结婚
and even to get married.
我们忘了如果活腻了 我们可以决定去死
We've forgotten that we can decide to die if you detest living,
我们忘了不以生育为目的
we've forgotten to have sexual relations
而不怀羞愧地性♥交♥
for purposes other than procreation without feeling guilty!
帮帮我们吧
Help!
我们忘了离婚 忘了让修女做弥撒
To divorce, to let nuns say mass,
忘了用所有已发现和将被发现的科学方法
to make babies in all the ways science has discovered
去生孩子
and will continue to discover.
简而言之 我最亲爱 最亲爱的孩子们
In short, my dear, dear children,
我们不只忘了去玩耍
not only have we forgotten to play,
我们还忘记了去快乐
we have forgotten to be happy.
而只有一条路通往快乐
And there is only one road that leads to happiness.
这条路就称为自♥由♥
And that road is called freedom.
愿圣使徒彼得和保罗
Sancti Apostoli Petrus et Paulus,
保有其权力和权威 我们有信心...
de quorum potestate et auctoritate confidimus...
你在说什么 莱尼
What are you saying, Lenny
这通胡言乱语是怎么回事
What's all this nonsense?
你不是教皇 莱尼
You're not the Pope, Lenny!
我才是
I am the Pope!
我才是教皇 而你 莱尼
I'm the Pope, and you, Lenny,
已经不再是教会的一员了
are no longer a member of the Church.
你和主已经脱离关系了 莱尼
You are done with God, Lenny.
脱离是什么意思
What you mean done?
我和主才刚刚开始
I just barely got started with God.
你是谁 莱尼
Who are you, Lenny?
我是一个矛盾体
I am a contradiction.
如同主 三位一体
Like God. One in three and three in one.
如同玛丽亚 既是处♥女♥又是母亲
Like Mary, virgin and mother.
如同人类 善恶兼有
Like man, good and evil.
今天起庇护十三世就开始行使教皇权了
Today Pio XIII's papacy begins.
红衣主教仍然在梵蒂冈城中
Cardinals are still in Vatican City,
只有在教皇第一次布道结束后他们才会离开罗马
and they will leave Rome only after the new Pontiff's first homily.
我是教皇
I am the Pope.
我是教皇
I am the Pope.
不太清楚您的口味 教皇陛下
Not knowing your tastes, Your Holiness,
我们擅自把每样食物都准备了一些
we took the liberty of preparing a little of everything.
没有人告诉你我吃的很少吗 实际上 几乎不吃
Didn't anyone tell you I don't eat much? Hardly anything, in fact!
我早上只喝一瓶零度樱桃可乐
All I have in the morning is a Cherry Coke Zero.
我们立刻就去准备一些
We will get some right away.
-你叫什么名字 -多芒 教皇陛下
- What's your name? - Domen, Your Holiness.
我是教皇陛下的管家
I am Your Holiness's maggiordomo.
-你知道多芒是什么意思吗 -"属于上帝的人"
- Do you know what Domen means? - "One who belongs to God".
正是 所以 依据传递属性
Precisely. So, by transitive property...
你属于我
you belong to me.
您睡得如何 教皇陛下
How did you sleep, Your Holiness?
我做了个好笑的梦
I had an amusing dream.
红衣主教奥佐林斯和阿吉雷互扇耳光
Cardinal Ozolins and Cardinal Aguirre slapping each other,
而我在圣彼得广场 对着众人说出了
and I said the most outrageous things to the crowd
极为离谱的话
in Saint Peter's Square.
那么 我会在这里等我的零度樱桃可乐
Well then, I'll wait here for my Cherry Coke Zero.
与此同时 教皇陛下是否想享受一下普通的健怡可乐
In the meantime would Your Holiness care for a regular Diet Coke?
希望我们没有分歧 多芒
Let's not utter heresies, Domen.
总是勉为其难地生活会导致死亡的
It's death to settle for things in life.
教皇陛下 当你等待的时候 请允许我介绍比奇修女
Holy Father, while you wait, may I present Sister Bice,
来自内皮 拉齐奥的一个可爱小镇
from Nepi, in delightful province of Lazio.
她将成为您的私人厨师
She will be your personal cook.
比奇修女还服务过在您之前的三位教皇
Sister Bice also served three pontiffs who came before you.
她年轻时曾在印度传教
When she was young, she was a missionary in India
幸运的是 她的英语很棒
and fortunately for us, she speaks a good English.
我的甜心 教皇陛下
Well, my sweet Holy Father,
那么你午餐想要吃些什么呢
now what is it you would like to have for your lunch?
你只需要告诉你的比奇想要什么
You just tell your Bice what you want,
我都会为你准备好的
and I'll prepare it for you.
传统意大利面 意大利面 烤面条加干酪沙司 意式宽面
Matriciana, pasta e fagioli, carbonara, lasagne.
是我听错了吗 她刚才叫我甜心
Am I mistaken, did she say "my sweet"?
教皇陛下 比奇修女相当...奇怪
Your Holiness, Sister Bice is rather... quaint.
不 多芒 她并不奇怪
No, Domen, she is not quaint.
她很友好
She's friendly.
嬷嬷
Mother...
女修道院院长尊称
让我来为你解释一些在你漫长的人生岁月里
Let me explain something to you, that you, in your long life,
还没有机会去理解的事情吧
have not yet had the occasion to understand:
友好关系是危险的
friendly relationships are dangerous.
他们使自己陷入歧义
They lend themselves to ambiguities,
误解和冲突的境地
misunderstandings, and conflicts,
因此他们总是不得善终
and they always end badly.
在另一方面 平常关系
Formal relationships, on the other hand,
如泉水般澄澈
are as clear as spring water.
他们的行事规则板上钉钉
Their rules are carved in stone.
没有会陷入误解的风险
There's no risk of being misunderstood
所以总能永久持续
and they last forever.
现在 你需要知道
Now, you need to know--
我并不欣赏友好关系
I do not appreciate friendly relationships.
但我十分钦佩平常关系
But I'm a great admirer of formal ones.
平常关系所在之处 才会存在礼仪
Where there are formal relationships there are rites
礼仪所在之处 规则秩序才能支配一切
and where there are rites the earth order reigns.
教皇陛下 国务秘书阁下
Your Holiness, His Eminence the Cardinal Secretary of State
红衣主教尊称
和各会众的教主
and the Prefects of the Various Congregations
等不及想熟悉您并对您表示欢迎了
can't wait to make your acquaintance and to welcome you.
那他们也不得不等了
Well, they're gonna have to.
因为我要先享用我的零度樱桃可乐
Because first I have to drink my Cherry Coke Zero.
愿启示众生的上帝帮助你
May God, who has enlightened every heart, help you
获悉你的罪恶 并相信的他的仁慈
to know your sins and trust His mercy.
说说你的罪恶吧 沃伊洛
Your sins, Voiello?
托马索 不要浪费我的时间
Tommasino, don't waste my time.
我的罪恶和复杂的交易和外交有关
My sins have to do with high finance and diplomacy.
即使我忏悔了 你也完全不会理解的
Even if I were to confess them, you wouldn't understand a thing.
那就忏悔些我能明白的吧
So confess those I can understand.
我曾经有过污秽的想法
I've had impure thoughts.
对谁?
About who?
-对维伦多夫的维纳斯 -她是谁
- About the Venus of Willendorf. - Who's she?
教皇保存在他的图书馆里的旧石器时代的雕像
The Paleolithic statue the Pope keeps in his library.
已经有25000岁了