年轻的教宗（2016）

当时所有枢机主教都在选举会议上
All of us cardinals were there, at the Conclave.
天主教教宗治理普世教会职务上得利助手、顾问
唯有枢机主教有权选举教宗
第四轮投票 著名的僵局
We were on the fourth ballot, the famous total stalemate.
我看着杜索里埃主教
I looked at Cardinal Dussolier,
他当教宗的希望渺茫
a longshot for the Papacy,
我们从小就已彼此了解
we've known each other since we were kids,
我们分享能想象到的所有痛苦
We've shared every suffering imaginable.
我看着高大驼背的红衣主教斯宾塞
I looked at tall, stoop-shouldered Cardinal Spencer,
我的导师
my mentor,
所有候选人中资质最深的一位 看起来如此睿智
the most eligible of all the candidates, looking so wise.
我总是对智慧抱有怀疑
I've always been suspicious of wisdom.
我确信他当时已经构思好了首次教宗演说
I'm convinced he was already drafting his first papal address
甚至写好了第一份教宗通谕
in his head, maybe even composing his first encyclical.
我看了又看
I looked and looked at them.
然后向上帝祷告
And then I prayed to God.
您的祷告很有效
You did well to pray.
无论如何 正是圣灵点亮了
At any rate, it is the Holy Spirit who must illumine...
这是我当时咕哝着的祷告
This was the prayer I muttered between my teeth:
主啊
Lord,
我不在乎何种手段 不在乎是否正当
I don't care with what means, licit or illicit,
都无所谓 我不在乎圣灵
they're all fine, I don't care about the Holy Spirit,
是否照亮于我
whether He illumines me or not,
我什么都不在乎 我不在乎你的想法
I don't care about anything, I don't care about your opinions,
也不在乎自己是否够格
or if I'm up to the task,
不在乎自己是否个局外人或是希望渺茫
or if I'm not an outsider or a longshot,
不在乎你是否觉得我是病夫或无赖
I don't care if you think I'm weak, or a scoundrel,
我不在乎像爱自己一样爱邻人
I don't care about loving my neighbor as myself,
出自《圣经》
"我的邻人"指爱我、顾念我的人
我永远不会像爱自己一样爱邻人
I will never love my neighbor as myself,
我只在乎一件事 主
I only care about one thing, Lord,
那就是我 而不是别人 能够为你所用
that I, not the others, can be useful to You.
我继续祈祷 更加用心
I prayed some more, harder this time.
祈祷的太过专注 差点尿裤子
I was praying so hard I nearly shit my pants.
我得把屁♥股♥黏在椅子上 才能把持住自己
I had to glue my ass to my chair so as not to make a mess,
我直直地盯着杜索里埃 念着 主 别选他
I stared, straight to Dussolier and I said: God, not him,
选我
me.
我又看向斯宾塞 念着 主 别选他 选我
I looked at Spencer and I said: God, not him, me.
翻来覆去说了有一千遍
I must have chanted those words a thousand times
在他们再次开始投票之前
before they opened the voting again,
就像念咒一样 别选他 选我
like a mantra: Not him, me,
别选他 选我
not him, me.
到最后就变成 别选他们 选我
And then, toward the end: Not them, me.
现在成为教宗的人是我
And now I'm the Pope.
不是他们
Not them.
是我
Me.
玛丽修女会说这是奇迹
Sister Mary would call it a miracle.
其他人会说是对祷告的应答
Others would call it the answer to a prayer.
但我不知道这叫什么
But I don't know what to call it.
听见被选中的是我 他们脸都白了
They all went white when they heard the name I'd chosen,
而我得意于他们的惊恐
and I reveled in their fear.
他们终于开始意识到我是谁
They were beginning to realize who I am,
因为他们犯下了大错
because that is the enormous error they committed:
选出了一个他们不了解的教宗
They chose a pope they didn't know.
而今天他们才开始明白
And today they began to understand.
最大的过错其实是
That is their tremendous sin:
选出了一位他们自以为了解的教宗
They chose a Pope they presumed they knew.
我念出了自己的名字 庇护十三世
I spoke my new name, Pius XIII,
他们忘了感谢上帝
and they forgot to thank God because they thought
因为他们觉得上帝没有选择他们
that God had failed to illumine them.
我也忘了感谢上帝 因为我也觉得
I forgot to thank God, because I didn't think.
上帝没有选择他们
God had illumined them either.
我爱我自己多余于爱邻人 多于爱上帝
I love myself more than my neighbor, more than God,
我只信仰我自己 我是无所不能之神
I believe only in myself, I am the lord omnipotent:
莱尼 是你照亮了你自己 妈的
Lenny, you have illumined yourself! Fuck!
我们之前说好的 安吉洛
We had a deal, Angelo!
我当上教宗 你接着做教务大臣
Me pope, you reconfirmed the Secretary of State.
完美平衡
The perfect balance.
但随后你却打破了约定
But then you broke our agreement.
从帽子里变出了这么个小孩
You pulled that kid out of the hat.
我自己的学生
My own student.
你真是狗屁
You really are a shit!
你管不住他 你心里清楚
You won't be able to manage him, you know.
在他布道后 至少现在你肯定是清楚了
You must have learned that by now, after that homily he gave.
你怎么这么蠢
How stupid can you be!
你太过畏惧我的极权
You were so fearful of my extremis,
以至于忘记了最明显的事实
that you forgot the most obvious truth:
年轻人总是比长者更为极端
The young are always more extreme than the old.
但还有另一个真♥相♥ 迈克尔
But there is another truth, Michael.
什么真♥相♥
What other truth?
你害怕老斯宾塞会脱离你的控制吗
That you were afraid old Spencer would be beyond your control?
既然你给自己找了个小斯宾塞
Well, now you got yourself a young Spencer.
教会还是会在他手里握很长一阵的
The Church is gonna be in his clutches for a long time.
何况现在提都没提你会连任的事
And it's not even a given that you'll be reconfirmed.
我不明白 你这么做是为了什么
I don't understand, what are you getting out of all this?
你不明白是因为
You don't understand because you don't allow me
你不让我告诉你真♥相♥
to tell you the truth.
-到底是什么真♥相♥ -我没有暗算你
- And what truth would that be? - I didn't plot against you.
我没有让我的人投贝尔拉多的票
I didn't direct my men to vote for Belardo.
当然 我让他们相信情况属实
Sure, I let people believe that was the case,
以维护我的权威
so as to maintain my power.
但事情不是这样的
But that's not how it went.
在某一个特定的时间点 没有任何人的指使
At a certain point, without anyone giving instructions,
贝尔拉多开始赢得胜局
Belardo started winning votes.
这是不可言说的真♥相♥ 迈克尔
That is the unspeakable truth, Michael.
别耍我 安吉洛
Don't fuck with me, Angelo!
你想让我信你什么
What do you expect me to believe?
让我相信 我们在那里见证的
That what we witnessed in there...
是圣灵的迹象
was the breath of the Holy Spirit.
我想是的 迈克尔 我真的这么想
I think so, Michael, I really do.
我相信是圣灵显迹了
I believe the Holy Spirit breathed.
你疯了
You're out of your mind.
迈克尔 圣灵显迹了
Michael, the Holy Spirit breathed.
原谅我 主 原谅我说了不可饶恕的话
Forgive me, Lord, for I have been unforgiveable.
不是我照亮了自己 是您照亮了我
It's not true that I illumine myself. You illumine me.
我并非无所不能
It's not true that I feel omnipotent.
您才是无所不能之神
You are the Lord Omnipotent.
我并不是对一切都满不在乎
It's not true that I don't care about anything.
我唯一在乎的就是您
The only thing I care about is You.
只有您
You alone.
而如果我忘记了去感谢您 那我现在感谢
And if I've forgotten to thank You, I thank You now.
如果我犯下了傲慢之罪 我请求您的宽恕
And if I've sinned by presumption, I ask Your forgiveness now.
如果我欺骗了可怜的唐·托马索
And if I've tricked that poor Don Tommaso,
我现在请求您的宽恕
I ask Your forgiveness now.
如果我恐吓了人们 我现在请求您的宽恕
And if I have frightened people, I ask Your forgiveness now.
如果我曾希望斯宾塞和杜索里埃受伤
And if I have wished Spencer and Dussolier harm,
我希望您赐予我同样的伤害
I ask You send harm my way as well.
如果我滥用了教宗之权 我请求您现在就将它收回
And if I have abused my power, I ask You to take it from me now.
宽恕我吧 上帝 照亮我
Forgive me, Lord, illumine me.
告诉我我该和主教们说些什么
Give me the words to say to the cardinals.
我的演讲是向您致意
My address regards You.
我的言语就是您的言语
My words are Your words.
我一直为您祈祷 使这一切发生
I keep praying for You to make something happen,
但是为什么要弃我于这极其糟糕与失望的境地
so why this awful, crawling feeling that nothing ever does?
我懂了 指引我吧 主
I know, dictate to me Lord.
是的 请指引我吧
Yes, dictate to me.
我一直都能虚心接受建议 您知道的
I've always been good at taking notes, You know that.
您是知道的
You know that.
阁下 我能在地毯上玩赛车吗
Your Excellency, can I race my toy cars on the carpet?
去称呼你母亲为阁下吧
"Excellency" You can say to your mom!
你必须叫我 主教大人