宋飞正传（1990）

我觉得，男人…
Men...
…比起女人更喜欢 将电视频道一遍一遍地翻
...flip around the television more than women, I think.
男人们手上拿着遥控器
Men get that remote control in their hands...
他们自己压根 就不知道电视上演的什么
They don't even know what they're not watching.
“再翻一遍，不看这个” “你在看什么啊？”
" Rerun, don't wanna watch it." "What are you watching?"
“管他呢” “那是谁？” “不认识”
" Don't care." "Who was that?" " Don't know."
“那不是你♥爸♥吗？” “爱谁谁，我要换台了”
" Isn't that your father?" " Doesn't matter, I gotta keep going."
女人不是这样的 女人…
Women don't do that. See, now, women...
…会停下然后再继续 “我看看这是演的什么…”
...will stop and go, "Well, let me see what the show is...
“…然后再换台”
...before I change the channel."
看吧，但男人就是不断换台 而女人…
You see, but men just fly. Because women...
这就是，女人筑巢 男人打猎
You see, women nest, and men hunt.
这就是男女看电视不一样的原因
That's why we watch TV differently.
当人们还没看过电视之前 在电视出现之前…
Before there was flipping around, before there was television...
…国王和王后还有法老以及…
...kings and emperors and pharaohs and such...
…他们都有人专门给他们讲故事
...had storytellers that would tell them stories.
这就是他们的娱乐方式
That was their entertainment.
我一直在想，假如那个年代 他们一屋子里有30个讲故事的人…
I always wonder in that era if they would get 30 storytellers together...
…他们就可以“翻台”了 像这样：
...so they could still flip around. Just go:
“讲讲你的故事吧” “不听这个了”
"Tell me your story. I don't wanna hear anymore.
“别讲了，下一个” “你在讲什么？”
Shut up. Next guy. What are you talking about?
“故事里有没有女人？没有？别讲了”
Is there a girl in that story? No? Shut up.
“你有什么故事？” “不听”
What have you got? I don't wanna hear that.
“你在讲什么？” “没兴趣”
What are you talking about? Don't wanna hear it.
“行了，都出去，全都出去” “我要睡觉了”
Now, the whole of you, get out of here. I'm going to bed."
宋飞正传 第二季 第10集 “宝宝送礼会”
她怀孕了？
She's pregnant?
莱斯利怀孕了？天理何在
Leslie is pregnant? Oh, see, there is no justice.
是那个演员，是不是？
She's the performance artist, right?
是啊，演员 演戏的，专门演戏的
Yeah, performance artist. She's a performer, a real trouper.
她老公叫什么来着？ 奇普？
What's her husband's name again? Chip?
吉普？
Kip?
斯齐普？
Skip?
陶德 - 陶德
Todd. - Todd.
对
Oh, yeah.
他是肯尼迪家的 - 才不是呢
He's a Kennedy. - No, he's not.
拜托，他是老三 - 那是结婚以后
Come on, he's a third cousin. - By marriage.
对，结婚以后 他结婚我们俩还去了呢
Oh, by marriage, yeah. We went to the wedding.
你真该听听他们是怎么描述 查帕圭迪克群岛的
Should've heard them talk about Chappaquiddick.
把一切责任都推到导游身上
Tried to blame the whole thing on bad directions.
我约过的所有人中这女的最差劲
That woman was unequivocally the worst date of my life.
都怪我当时帮您约了 这么一漂亮聪明的女人
Pardon me for setting you up with a beautiful, intelligent woman.
你觉得我自己魅力不够啊？
What, you don't think I can attract beautiful, intelligent women?
危险，乔治，很危险
Thin ice, George, very thin ice.
也许下次演出 她在台上就把孩子给生了
Maybe for her new performance piece, she'll give birth on-stage.
她演出已经停了
She stopped performing.
简直是震惊了整个文艺界啊
What a huge blow to the culture.
你信他？ 他是吃不着葡萄说葡萄酸
You believe this guy? He holds a grudge like Khomeini.
她拉我去布鲁克林海滨的那个仓库
She dragged me down to that warehouse on the waterfront in Brooklyn...
让我看她的表演
...to see one of her performances.
哦，然后她在台上 给些个名人做饭？
Oh, and she's on-stage cooking dinner for some celebrity?
是上帝
God.
她在给上帝做饭
She's cooking dinner for God.
她又喊又叫，然后…
She's yelling, and the next thing I know...
她就把一装着热巧克力的 罐子丢到了我新的红衬衫上了
...she throws a big can of chocolate syrup all over my new red shirt.
那是个意外 - 是，意外，没错
It was an accident. - Oh, yeah, accident, right.
她当时就是对准了我 好似她要灭火一样
She was aiming at me, like she was putting out a fire.
在接下来的表演中 我满身都是巧克力地坐在那里
So for the rest of the show I'm sitting there with chocolate all over me.
苍蝇飞到我的身上
Flies are landing on me.
我气坏了 我当时就想我到底该怎么骂她
I'm boiling, I'm fantasizing all the things I'm gonna say to her.
接下来，在后台 我跟她说话的时候
Later, finally, backstage, when I talk to her...
我就像一条卑微的小虫子
...l'm like a little grovelling worm:
“这是什么巧克力？”
"What kind of chocolate was that?"
“你扔没扔别的吃的？”
" Do you throw any other foods?" You know...
他觉得他还有机会呢
He thought he still had a shot.
然后，然后，然后…
Then, then, then...
她陪着别人走了
...she leaves with somebody else.
连句…连句再见都没说
Never even... Never even said goodbye.
也没有给我打过电♥话♥ 也没向我道歉，什么都没有
Never called me back. Never apologized. Nothing.
好像我不存在一样
Like I was dirt.
那件衬衫后来怎么了？
What ever happened with the shirt?
还在家里
I still have it.
领子没事 我当时穿着毛衣
The collar's okay. I wear it under sweaters.
我不知道我该怎么办
I don't know what I'm gonna do.
她请我为她举办宝宝送礼会
（在孩子出生前举办的特殊聚会）
She asked me to give her a baby shower.
让你？你不会做的，对吧？
Asked you? You're not gonna do that, are you?
别人也许就不会了 但是莱斯利…
Anyone else, never. But Leslie...
拒绝她对我来说很难
I have a problem saying no to her.
为了某些原因 我希望她能喜欢我
For some reason, I seem to want her approval.
让玛丽·施莱佛为她举办
（肯尼迪家族的千金，施瓦辛格的妻子）
Let Maria Shriver give her a baby shower.
不要问我能为你做什么 而要问你能为我做什么
（这是模仿肯尼迪总统的演讲）
Ask not what I can do for you, ask what you can do for me.
我是一傻瓜
Ich bin ein sucker.（德语 肯尼迪总统在柏林墙的演讲）
能不能别再说肯尼迪家族了？
Would you two stop with the Kennedys?
为什么每个人都对肯尼迪家族 在这大费口水呢？
Why does everyone make such a big deal about the Kennedys?
我是说，这有什么有趣的？ 谁在乎呢，而且很无聊
I mean, what is this fascination? Who cares? It's all so boring.
她跟本就不配开这种派对
Look, she doesn't deserve a baby shower.
她就配生一个不祥之物 生个罗丝玛丽的婴
（《失婴记》现代恐怖怪谈片）
She deserves a baby monsoon. She deserves Rosemary's baby.
即使这样 还是有个小小的问题
I do have one teeny little problem, though.
没有说再见，也没有道歉 什么都没有
Never said goodbye. Never apologized. Nothing.
你看，我本来打算在我家 就把这事搞定…
See, I was gonna give the shower in my apartment...
但是？ - 我室友有莱姆病
（由扁虱的叮咬而传染）
- But? - My roommate has Lyme disease.
莱姆病？ 我还以为她是爱-巴病毒综合症呢
Lyme disease? I thought she had Epstein-Barr syndrome.
两种病她都有
She has this in addition to Epstein-Barr.
就像爱-巴病毒综合症 搭配着莱姆病
It's like Epstein-Barr with a twist of Lyme disease.
她怎么会得莱姆病呢？ - 不太清楚
How'd she get Lyme disease? - I don't know.
她在康涅狄格州的丹伯里 参加《头发》的户外演出
She did some outdoor version of Hair in Danbury, Connecticut.
这戏她们还在演？ - 这可是经典
They still do that play? - It's a classic.
还有裸体表演？ - 应该还有吧
With the nudity? - I guess.
肯定是在性♥爱♥聚会上被虫咬了
She must've rolled over on a tick during the love-in.
没有说再见，再见
Never said goodbye. Goodbye.
给我讲讲这个派对怎么搞？
Explain to me how this baby shower thing works.
你想知道什么？
What do you want to know?
会不会喝得昏天暗地 最后变得乱七八糟？
Well, I mean does it ever erupt into a drunken orgy of violence?
很少这样吧
Rarely.
没有宝宝入帮礼之类的，有吗？
（入帮礼是加入某种组织要接受的 一些侮辱或者是要做的无聊的事情）
There's no hazing of the foetus or anything, is there?
没有
No.
定的什么时候？ - 周六
When is this supposed to be? - Saturday.
周六，周六我要去布法罗看演出
Saturday. Well, I have a show in Buffalo on Saturday.
他们不会把我的房♥子给我拆了吧？
They're not gonna bust up my apartment, are they?
绝对不会，我会负全部责任
No, I'll take full responsibility.
因为我曾经见过孕妇…
Because I've seen pregnant women...
…她们有时会低估自己肚子的尺寸
...and they sometimes misjudge their foetal girth.
然后她们…
And they'll...
一个转身 整个餐具柜就倒到桌子旁了
Just, like, one wrong turn, the whole buffet is, like, right off the table.
你们听好了 在我死之前，总有一天
Someday, before I die, mark my words...
…我要让她知道 她在我心里是个什么形象
...l'm gonna tell that woman what I think of her.
我要是不告诉她 我永远也无法宽恕自己
I'll never be able to forgive myself until I do.
如果你说了呢？ - 我还是不能宽恕自己…
And if you do? - I still won't forgive myself...
…但至少不会因为这了
...but at least it won't be about this.
你这么做有用吗？ 看看你自己
What are you doing this for? Look at you.
闭嘴好吧，我在想办法让它显影 - 但你不必这么做啊
Quiet. I'm trying to get a picture. - But you don't have to.
那个人就在我那呢 - 别烦我
The guy is waiting in my house. - Leave me alone.
一次收费，150美元
It's a one-time fee, 1 50 bucks.
何必难为自己呢？ - 我不会装非法有线电视
Why live like this? - I'm not getting illegal cable.
你想怎么样？ 难道等着有线公♥司♥解决他们的争端？
So you're gonna wait for the cable companies to resolve their dispute?
光打官司就得好几年
They'll be in court for years.
我都看报纸上写了… - 报纸…
I read in the paper... - Oh, the paper...
他们可能还会再给我们连上的 - 天啊，你太天真了