宋飞正传（1990）

你的工作如何了
So how's the job situation going?
还在找
Still looking.
情况不怎么好，你呢？
Pretty bad out there. What about you?
没什么大事，我昨晚跟伊莲睡了
Nothing much. I slept with Elaine last night.
氧气，我需要氧气
Oxygen. I need some oxygen.
这可是大件事 - 我觉得你会感兴趣的
This is major. - I thought you'd like that.
这可不是小事！
Oh, this is huge!
我明白 - 好了，继续，说细节
I know. - All right, okay. Let's go. Details.
不行，这可不能说
No, I can't give details.
什么？ - 我才不说细节呢
You what? - I can't give details.
不说细节？
No details?
没心情
I'm not in the mood.
你叫我来这吃饭
You ask me here to have lunch...
然后告诉我你睡了伊莲
...tell me you slept with Elaine...
然后竟然告诉我没心情讲细节
...and then say you're not in the mood for details.
你给我听仔细了
Now, you listen to me.
我要你讲细节！现在就讲！
I want details, and I want them right now.
我没有工作 我没地方可去
I don't have a job, I have no place to go.
你没心情？ 你最好找找你那心情！
You're not in the mood? Well, you get in the mood!
好吧
All right. Okay.
当时我们俩在我的公♥寓♥里看电视
We were in my apartment, watching TV.
你们坐在什么上？ - 沙发
Where you sitting? - On the couch.
互相靠着吗 - 没有，隔着远远的呢
Next to each other? - Separate.
大概几点 - 11点左右
Time? - Around 1 1.
继续讲
Okay, go ahead.
然后她在不停换台
So she's flipping around the TV...
然后就找到裸体频道
...and she gets to the naked station.
这就是我不装有线电视的原因 因为有这种裸体频道
See, that's why I don't have cable, because of that naked station.
如果我能收到这个频道 我这电视估计永远都不会关了
If I had that in my house, I would never turn it off.
觉也不睡了 饭也不吃了
I wouldn't sleep. I wouldn't eat.
最后，消防队员破门而入
Eventually, firemen would break through the door.
发现我穿着睡衣留着哈喇子
They'd find me in my pyjamas with drool coming down my face.
那么你们当时正在看裸体频道
All right, so you're watching the naked station.
然后
And then...
不知怎地我们开始讨论 “假如我们做♥爱♥”
...somehow we started talking about, "What if we had sex?"
这些细节我没兴趣
Boy, these are really bad details.
虽然我很痛心但是 要说具体细节是不是太不成熟了
It pains me to say this, but I may be getting too mature for details.
我讨厌别人这么说
I hate to hear this.
我最烦别人说成熟
Any kind of growth really irritates me.
听我说，那真是太爽了 - 比以前还爽？
I'll tell you, it was really passionate. - Better than before?
她可能专门研究过了吧
She must have taken some kind of seminar or something.
太夸张了 你当时什么感觉？
This is all too much. So, what are you feeling?
接下来还有什么 你们现在又成一对了？
What's going on? Are you, like, a couple again now?
不完全是这样 - “不完全是这样”，这是什么话？
Not exactly. - " Not exactly." What does that mean?
我们试着去创造一种环境
Well, we've tried to arrange a situation...
我们既可以偶尔做♥爱♥
...where we'll be able to do this once in a while...
又可以当朋友
...and still be friends.
怎么了
What?
你住哪
Where are you living?
你住这吗 你住地球上吗
Are you here? Are you on this planet?
这不可能 不可能做到
It's impossible. It can't be done.
数千年来 人们就一直试图兼得鱼和熊掌
Thousands of years, people have tried to have their cake and eat it too.
突然间你们俩一凑 就开始办那事
So all of a sudden, the two of you are gonna come along and do it.
你有没有自知之明啊
Where do you get the ego?
不可能的，想都别想
No one can do it. It can't be done.
我觉得我们已经定好了玩法
I think we've worked out a system.
你知道你现在什么样吗？ 你就跟个可怜的赌徒一样
You know what you're like? You're like a pathetic gambler.
就像拉斯维加斯那些以为自己…
One of these losers in Las Vegas who keeps thinking...
能想出什么招 好赢得二十一点的输家似的
...he's gonna come up with a way to win at blackjack.
不，我们的玩法可不一般 我们是有规矩的
No, this is very advanced. We've designed a set of rules.
那些会破坏关系的事我们一概不做 以此保住我们的友情
That we can maintain the friendship by avoiding all the relationship pitfalls.
好吧，你给我说说规矩
All right, all right. Tell me the rules.
听着
Okay.
做完的第二天不准打电♥话♥
No calls the next day.
那么你们做完爱 第二天不用打电♥话♥
So you have the sex, next day, you don't have to call.
很好
That's pretty good.
继续 - 你要听下一个吗
Go ahead. - You ready for the second one?
我不得不说，第一条很让我吃惊
I have to tell you, I'm very impressed with the first one.
可以选择
Spending the night:
是否在一起过夜
Optional.
不，不，看到了没？你太贪了
No. No. You see? You got greedy.
不，这是规矩，自愿的
No, that's the rule. It's optional.
我承认对女人的了解
I know less about women...
比起世上任何一个人都少
...than anyone in the world.
但是据我所知 如果你们不过夜她们会很不爽
But the one thing I do know is, they're not happy if you don't spend the night.
一定是间非常的闷热的房♥间 没有空调
It could be a hot, sweaty room with no air conditioning...
屋里只有一张小军床 这么厚
...and all they have is a little Army cot this wide.
你哪也别想去
You're not going anywhere.
我觉得你错了 - 我也希望如此
I think you're wrong. - I hope I am.
这是你的还是你室友的？ - 我室友的
Is this yours or the roommate's? - Roommate's.
我吃了她不会介意吧？ - 她对自己的东西可有数了
Would she mind? - She keeps track of everything.
那太不幸了，因为我要吃了
Well, that's too bad, because I'm taking it.
谢谢
Oh, thanks.
那么…
Well...
我好像得走了
...guess I'll get going.
我明早还得做手术呢 回家里待着可能更好点
I got that root canal tomorrow morning. It'll be easy if I go home.
嗯，那就走啊
Fine. Go ahead.
我搞不懂，有问题吗？
I don't understand. Is there a problem?
我感觉一定有问题
I'm getting the impression there's a problem.
走就是了 - 明天我要动手术好不好
Just go. - I'm having surgery tomorrow.
动手术！不过是去看牙医 - 你说过这可不是什么小事……
Surgery! You're going to the dentist! - You said it could be very serious.
对啊，我说了，那你倒是走啊
Okay. So fine, go.
咱们的规矩呢？忘了？
What happened to the rules? Remember?
可以选择是否一起过夜
Sleeping over was optional.
这是我家，决定权在我 - 这跟谁家有什么关系
It's my house, it's my option! - It has nothing to do with that!
当然有关系
Of course it does. - Hi.
嗨.
HI.
你好啊，杰瑞 你好
Hi, Jerry. - Hi.
今晚的即兴表演课太充实了
Such a great improv class tonight.
真的？
Really?
我的即兴表演是…
I had this improv...
…我演的是…
...where I pretended...
…我是游乐园的某售货亭 的一个服务人员
...I was working in one of those booths in an amusement park...
游乐园里可以吹气球 还可以向小丑的嘴里打水枪
...where you shoot water in the clown's mouth and blow up the balloon.
蒂娜，能不能给我们俩点时间
Tina, could you excuse us for just one second?
行
Yeah.
那我给你
I'll excuse you.
你这是干什么 - 我不能走了，你生气了
What are you doing? - I can't go if you're mad.
我没有生气
I'm not mad.
你看起来有点生气的样子
You seem a little mad.
没有，杰瑞，绝对没有
No, Jerry, I'm fine. Really, it's okay.
真没事？
So you're okay with everything?
真没事
Definitely.
那你呢？
Are you?
我更没事了
Definitely.
那么…
Well...
…晚安 - 晚 …
...good night. - Good ni...
你想干什么？ - 什么？
What are you doing? - What?
别忘了规矩
The rules.
嘿，谁把我的蛋糕吃了？
Hey, who took my cake?
你说送珠宝怎么样 多好的生日礼物
What about jewellery? That's a nice birthday gift.
哦，不，我可得仔细想想
Oh, no, I have to be very careful here.
我可不想她因为这礼物胡思乱想 尤其那天之后
I don't want to send the wrong message. Not after the other night.
那我送好珠宝了 - 不行
Maybe I'll get her some jewellery. - No.
你送的东西不能比我的好
You can't get her anything better than me.
你不能超过我的价钱的一半
Whatever I spend, you have to spend half.
那你让我送什么啊？ 火箭炮泡泡糖？
What am I supposed to get, a bazooka?
你不明白 我们俩现在的关系非常微妙
You don't understand. I'm in a very delicate position.
无论我送她什么 她都会找全国的专家帮她分♥析♥…
Whatever I give her, she'll be bringing in experts from all over the country...
看看我的礼物到底代表什么
...to interpret the meaning behind it.