宋飞正传（1990）

Seinfeld S02E08

Part 2 Nov. 6, 2021, 11:25 a.m.

Mr. Costanza.
劳驾
Excuse me.
医生我告诉你我感觉好多了
Yeah, you know, doc, I gotta tell you, I feel a lot better.
我们看了你的心电图进行了化验做了完整的检查
Well, we looked at your EKGs, ran some tests, did a complete workup.
噢天啊妈咪
Oh, God. Mommy.
你没有得心脏病
Well, you simply haven't had a heart attack.
我没有？
I haven't?
我没事？
I'm okay?
我没事？谢谢！
I'm okay? Oh, thank you!
谢谢！
Thank you!
我不知道该怎么感谢你！
I don't know how to thank you!
这很有意思乔治我们可以回家了吗
Hey, that was really fun, George. Can we go home now?
不我们今天要让他住院观察为了安全
No, we'd like to keep him overnight for observation, just to be safe.
当然当然随便
Oh, sure, sure, anything.
你能相信吗我一点病都没有
Can you believe it? Nothing's wrong with me.
我不会这么说
Well, I wouldn't go that far.
什么
What?
上帝什么
Oh, my God. What?
脑膜炎？
Is it meningitis?
脊柱侧凸？
Scoliosis?
红斑狼疮？是红斑狼疮？！
Lupus? Is it lupus?!
你切除过扁桃腺吗
Have you ever had your tonsils taken out?
扁桃腺？
My tonsils?
我小时候
Yeah, when I was a kid.
它们又长回来了
Well, they've grown back.
你的增殖腺也肿起来了
And your adenoids are swollen too.
真的？ - 是的
Really? - Yeah.
谁的扁桃腺会长回来？ - 有时会的
Oh, whose tonsils grow back? - It happens.
对如果你暴露在伽玛线下
Yeah, if you've been exposed to gamma rays.
我的扁桃腺还在
I still have my tonsils.
我家里每个人都有
Everyone in my family has theirs.
事实上我们禁止和任何…
In fact, we were forbidden to socialize with anybody...
…没有扁桃腺的人交往
...who didn't have their tonsils.
很有意思因为我家里没人有扁桃腺
That's interesting, because no one in my family has their tonsils.
而且我们禁止和有扁桃腺的人交往
And we were forbidden to socialize with tonsil people.
就像凯普莱特家族和蒙泰欧家族
（罗密欧和朱丽叶）
Well, it's like the Capulets and the Montagues.
不好意思
Excuse me.
我强烈建议切除掉
Anyway, I strongly recommend they come out.
什么你是说动刀？
What? You mean, with a knife?
对动刀剪剪
Yes, with a knife. You know, snip, snip.
你会完全昏迷不会感到任何事情
Anyway, you'd be completely under. You wouldn't feel a thing.
当你醒过来的时候能够吃到冰激凌
And when you wake up, you can have some ice cream.
才怪他们上次也是这么说的
Yeah, that's what they told me the last time.
考虑下
Think about it.
借过
Excuse me.
抱歉 - 不好意思
Sorry. - I'm sorry.
我要去再问那个医生一个…
I just have to ask that doctor one more...
…问题
...question.
女人追医生就像男人追模特
Women go after doctors like men go after models.
她们想要了解身体的人我们只是想要身体
They want someone with knowledge of the body. We just want the body.
嗨
Hey.
伙计们
Boy...
…楼下他们有家很棒的自助餐厅
...they got a great cafeteria downstairs.
热菜三明治沙拉
Hot food, sandwiches, a salad bar.
就像时时乐开了家医院
It's like Sizzler opened up a hospital.
伙计们
Boy...
你怎么会得心脏病的
So how did you have a heart attack?
你是个年轻人
You're a young man.
你以前在做什么
What were you doing?
他们会做个拉链手术？
They gonna do a zipper job?
他们喜欢做拉链手术 - 克莱默
Oh, they love to do zipper jobs. - Kramer.
对心脏最不好的事情是性生活
You know, the really bad thing about the heart is the sex thing.
瞧你现在要注意性生活
See, you gotta be careful about sex now.
你心脏在跳…
You get that heart pumping...
突然砰！接下来…
Suddenly, boom! Next thing you know...
…一根管子从你胸口接出来连在一个箱子上
...you got a hose coming out of your chest attached to a piece of luggage.
克莱默乔治没有得心脏病
Kramer, George didn't have a heart attack.
没有？这很好
No? That's good.
我必须切除掉扁桃腺
I have to have my tonsils taken out.
不
Oh, man. No.
乔治我们要把你弄出去现在就出去
George, we gotta get you out of here. Get out right now.
在这里他们会害死你的
They'll kill you in here.
常规手术
It's routine surgery.
真的？我朋友鲍勃·萨卡曼诺…
Oh, yeah? My friend Bob Sacamano...
…他来这里做痔疮手术
...he came in here for a hernia operation.
“常规手术”
Oh, yeah, " routine surgery."
现在他坐在窗边：
Now he's sitting in a chair by a window going:
“我叫鲍勃！”
" My name is Bob!"
乔治不管你怎么做不要让他们给你动手术
George, whatever you do, don't let them cut you.
不要让他们给你动手术
Don't let them cut you.
我该做什么克莱默
Well, what should I do, Kramer?
有一点不要听他的 - 我告诉你该做什么
For one thing, don't listen to him. - I'll tell you what you do.
我告诉你该做什么你去找托·阿克曼
I'll tell you what you do. You go to Tor Ackman.
托他会马上治好你
Tor. He'll fix you right up.
他是草药医生治疗者乔治
He's an herbalist, a healer, George.
他不仅仅治好扁桃腺和增殖腺
He's not just gonna fix the tonsils and the adenoids.
他会改变你整个身体的运作
He is gonna change the whole way you function.
身体和心灵
Body and mind.
阿克曼？我以为他在坐牢
Ackman? I thought he was doing time.
不不他出来了他出来了
No, no, he's out. He got out.
瞧医疗机构…
See, the medical establishment...
他们想诬陷他这都是政♥治♥ 他是起义军
See, they tried to frame him. It's all politics, but he's a rebel.
起义军？
A rebel?
不约翰尼·尤马是起义者
No, Johnny Yuma was a rebel.
阿克曼是个疯子
Ackman is a nut.
你想处理好你的扁桃腺待在医院让医生处理
You wanna take care of your tonsils, do it in a hospital with a doctor.
他是整体医治
He's holistic.
乔治他是整体医治
George, he's holistic.
整体医治？ - 对
Holistic? - Yeah.
听上去不错
That sounds right.
乔治你需要一名医疗医生
George, you need a medical doctor.
我来问问你
Let me ask you something.
在医院里切除扁桃腺和增殖腺…
How much do you think it would cost to have tonsils and adenoids...
…要花多少钱
...removed in a hospital?
在医院过夜小手术我不知道…
Well, an overnight stay in a hospital, minor surgery, I don't know...
…四千？
...four grand?
那个治疗师要多少钱？ - 第一次？ 38块
How much does the healer charge? - First visit? 38 bucks.
整体治疗
Oh, yeah. Holistic.
这就是我要的这就是答案
That's what I need. That's the answer.
很高兴我约你一起来了吧？
You like the way I talked you into coming?
别抬举你自己了
Don't flatter yourself, my friend.
我来这里完全是为了取材我有种感觉…
I'm here strictly for material. And I have a feeling...
…这是个潜在的金矿虽然我还是认为你疯了
...this is a potential gold mine. I still think you're nuts, though.
我所知道我一生都和医生打交道结果又如何
All I know is, I've been going to doctors all my life. What's it gotten me?
我33岁青春期的问题还没出现…
I'm 33, I haven't outgrown the problems of puberty...
…我现在已经面临老年问题
...l'm already facing the problems of old age.
我整个跨过健康的成年时间
I completely skipped healthy adulthood.
我从有性高♥潮♥直接到成为永恒
I went from having orgasms immediately to taking forever.
在你缴税的时间里我就能有一次性高♥潮♥
You can do your taxes in the time it takes me to have an orgasm.
我从没有一般的…
I never had a normal...
…中等的性高♥潮♥
...medium orgasm.
我从没有吃过好吃的泡菜
I never had a really good pickle.
除此之外能花多少钱 38块钱？
Besides, what's it gonna cost me, 38 bucks?
请不要把脚放在上面
Would you not put your foot on that, please?
对不起
Sorry.
你几月出生？ - 四月
What month were you born? - April.
你应该在八月出生
You should have been born in August.
你父母应该听取过等待的忠告
Your parents would have been well-advised to wait.
真的？
Really?
用热水洗澡？
Do you use hot water in the shower?