宋飞正传（1990）

Seinfeld S02E09

Part 3 Nov. 6, 2021, 11:25 a.m.

那她需要什么东西也许她有需要的东西呢
What does she need? Maybe there's something that she needs.
我记得她说过想要好像是种长椅子
I think I heard her say something about a bench.
长椅子？
A bench?
什么样的？ - 不太清楚
What kind of a bench? - I don't know.
她只是那么提了一嘴 - 像车站那种？
She mentioned a bench. - What, like at a bus stop?
不知道 - 像公园的那种？
I don't know. - Like a park bench?
不知道
I have no idea.
谁会在家里放那种椅子 - 这个还是算了吧
Who puts a bench in the house? - Forget the bench!
有了，想送好东西？音乐盒如何？
I got it. You want something nice? What about a music box?
不行，这东西太情侣了
No, too relationship-y.
我是说，她一打开然后就听到拉拉主题曲，我死定了
I mean, she opens it up, she hears that " Lara's Theme," I'm dead.
那精美相框如何…
Okay, what about a nice frame...
…还带一张男人的照片
...with a picture of another guy in it?
相框说：“我在乎你但如果你认真的”
The frame says, " I care for you, but if you want to get serious...
“我觉得你会更喜欢这种男人”
...perhaps you'd be interested in someone like this."
这家伙长得不错
Nice-looking fellow.
烛台怎么样？ - 过于浪漫了
What about candleholders? - Too romantic.
女式内衣呢？ - 太那个了
Lingerie? - Too sexual.
松饼机？ - 家庭生活味太浓了
Waffle maker? - Too domestic.
尼尔森·洛克菲勒半身像？
Bust of Nelson Rockefeller?
政♥治♥味太浓了
Too gubernatorial.
还是看看卡片怎么写吧
Let's work on the card.
我得送别人个礼物
I had to buy a gift for someone.
最难的是不知道卡片怎么写可把我愁死了
The hardest part is that card. The card is a killer.
我不知道该怎么写
I never know what it's supposed to say.
这个问题非常棘手由于人们的关系是如此的复杂
And it's getting so tough, because the relationships are so complicated...
以至于这些贺卡公♥司♥ 他们生产的贺卡
...greeting-card companies now put out cards that are blank...
打开后里面全是空白
...on the inside. Nothing.
啥都没写好像公♥司♥说
No message. It's like the card company says:
“我们没招了，你自己想吧”
"We give up. You think of something."
知道吗？ “75美分，我才懒得管那么多”
You know? " For 7 5 cents, I don't want to get involved."
你可能会不喜欢 - 怎么会不喜欢呢
Maybe you won't like it. - How could I not like it?
我肯定喜欢的 - 你不会喜欢
Of course I'll like it. - You could not like it.
你能记得送我礼物光这就足够了
Just the fact that you remembered means everything.
我当然记得
Of course I remembered.
你这俩月天天提醒着我
You reminded me every day for two months.
对了，贺卡
Oh, the card.
钞票？ - 你觉得怎么样？
Cash? - What do you think?
你送我钞票？
You got me cash?
我觉得送你钞票你想要什么就买♥♥点什么
This way, I figure you could go out and get yourself whatever you want.
不好吗？
No good?
你是谁啊，我叔叔吗？
Who are you, my uncle?
拜托，这可有182元呢我觉得不少了
Hey. Come on, it's $1 82 there. I don't think that's anything to sneeze at.
那看看贺卡吧
Let me see the card.
送给我的非凡的女孩
"To a wonderful girl, a great pal...
最好的好哥们
...and more."
嗨
Hey.
伊莲，你在这可太好了别走，我去去就来，别走哦
Elaine, I'm glad you're here. Stay right here. I'm gonna be right back. Stay.
“哥们”？你觉得我是你的哥们？
" Pal"? You think I'm your pal?
我说了，“最好的…”
I said, "and more."
我可不是你的哥们
I am not your pal.
说哥们怎么了？怎么人们对“哥们”有偏见？
What's wrong with pal? Why is everybody so down on pal?
我来了 - 哇，这是什么啊？
Hey. - Oh, what is this?
你给我买♥♥礼物了？ - 是啊，快打开看看
You got me something? - Yeah. Yeah, open it.
克莱默！
Kramer!
椅子，你送给我我最想要的椅子！
The bench! You got me the bench that I wanted!
不错吧？ - 非常好
That's pretty good, huh? - Great.
还记得那次她说的时候嘛咱们就站在这，我记下来了
You remember when she mentioned it? I made a mental note of it.
真有你的
Well, goody for you.
我对这个非常敏感的
Yeah. See, I'm very sensitive about that.
我是说谁要过生日我都打听着呢
I mean, someone's birthday comes up, I keep my ears open.
那么，你送了什么啊？
So, what did you get her?
182美元
1 82 bucks.
钞票？
Cash?
你真会开玩笑这算什么礼物
You've gotta be kidding. What kind of gift is that?
感觉只有叔叔才送这个
That's like something her uncle would give her.
“能有你这么一位好朋友”
"Think where man's glory most begins and ends...
“是我这辈子最大的荣耀”
...and say my glory was I had such a friend."
一点不假
Yeats.
天啊，克莱默
Oh, Kramer.
能不能先闪闪呢？
Could you excuse us, please?
什么？
What?
我们刚刚还没说完呢
We're talking.
想起来了，你们的关系
Oh, the relationship.
你看，在此之前咱俩没闹过大争执吧？
You know, we never had one fight before this deal.
我知道 - 从来就没有
I know. - Never.
从来没有 - 我们相处得非常好
Ever. - We got along beautifully.
就跟蚌的两片壳似的 - 多美好啊
Like clams. - It was wonderful.
相当快乐
A pleasure.
那就把发生的一切都抛开重新做朋友了
So I think we should forget the whole deal and go back to being friends.
我办不到
I can't do it.
你什么？
You what?
我办不到
I can't do that.
你的意思是：
You mean, it's:
这样不行？
No this?
那个不行？
No that.
到底是哪个？
No this or that.
天啊
Oh, boy.
你到底想怎么样？
What do you want?
这个，那个，还有剩下的
This, that and the other.
当然，是的，你有资格嘛
Oh, sure. Of course. You're entitled.
谁不想要这个，那个还有剩下的呢
Who doesn't want this, that and the other?
你
You.
那…
Well...
过生日
Those birthdays.
跟你说吧，就是感情杀手
I told you, they're relationship killers.
两个人之间不管什么问题一过生日，全都冒出来了
If a relationship's having any problems whatsoever, a birthday brings it out.
我压根就不该定那些规矩
I never should have made up those rules.
怎么一牵扯性♥爱♥就不能有别的了
What is it about sex that just disrupts everything?
是因为太亲密，还是因为太露骨
Is it the touching? Is it the nudity?
绝对不是露骨
It can't be the nudity.
我在体育课前换衣服的时候
I never got into these terrible fights and misunderstandings...
…从来就没有过如此严重的争执和误解
...when I was changing before gym class.
也就是说我也不能见她了
This means I can't see her anymore either.
为什么？ - 因为你的关系
Why? - It's breakup by association.
另外我送的礼物也把她气得够呛
Besides, she's mad at me anyway because of my birthday present.
为什么啊？你送什么了？
Why? What did you wind up giving her?
91美元
Ninety-one dollars.
都怪我
Sorry about that.
下一步打算怎么办？
So, what are you gonna do?
我要是再给她打电♥话♥ 也不能嬉皮笑脸了，基本就这样了
If I call her, there's no joking around anymore. This is pretty much it.
也许就应该这样
So maybe this should be it.
也许会这样 - 这貌似就是她想要的
Could be it. - She seems like an it.
她就是这个样子
She's as it as you get.
想像一下五年后在大街上相遇人家旁边挎一老公
Imagine bumping into her on the street in five years with a husband.
人家告诉我老公是个雕刻家两口子住在佛蒙特州
And she tells me that he's a sculptor. They live in Vermont.
咱还不得把那男的给砍了
We'd have to kill him.
然后咱俩就进监狱了我就坐电椅
We'd get caught. I'd get the chair.
我作为同谋也得陪你进监狱
I'd go to prison as your accomplice.
还得穿那身粗布囚服
Have to wear that really heavy denim.
在餐厅别人把土豆泥撒到你的盘子上
The cafeteria, with the guy who slops the mashed potatoes onto your plate.
在百八十号♥人的注目下上厕所
Go to the bathroom in front of hundreds of people.
此外…
Plus...
…知道还有什么吗
...you know what else.
你最好给她打个电♥话♥
You better call her.
嗨
Hey.
报纸来了吗？ - 来了
You got the paper yet? - Yeah.
你放哪了？
Well, where is it?
你看完了没？ - 还没呢
Hey, you done with that? - No.
你现在又不看
Well, you're not reading it now.