宋飞正传（1990）

Seinfeld S02E06

Part 2 Nov. 6, 2021, 11:25 a.m.

Come here, look at this.
他打扫了冰箱和柜子
He cleaned in the little one-inch area...
之间一英寸的窄缝
...between the refrigerator and the counter.
他怎么够到的呢？
How'd he get in there?
难道他是橡胶人
He must be like Rubber Man.
世界上没有橡胶人
There's no Rubber Man.
为什么我认为有呢？
Why did I think there was a Rubber Man?
有橡皮人，塑料人…
There's Elastic Man, Plastic Man...
我得走了 - 去哪？
I'm leaving. - Where are you going?
去瑞娃家，拿她的稿子
To Rava's. I gotta pick up her manuscript.
哦，等会，我跟你一起去 - 好
Oh, wait, I'll go with you. - Okay.
伊莲，他还擦了猫眼！
Elaine, he Windexed the little peephole.
和雷普曼的见面已经安排好了
So the meeting with Lippman is all set.
他是主编
He's the editor in chief.
我认为是因为你的请求 - 要求
I think because of your request. - Demand.
他们要升我做编辑
They're gonna promote me to editor.
对极了
Darn tooting.
雷来了，又迟到了
There's Ray, late as usual.
哦
Well.
真是个出乎意料的惊喜高兴
This is an unexpected surprise. And delight.
今在永在的喜剧之王杰瑞一世
The once and future king of comedy, Jerry the first...
令寒舍蓬荜生辉
...gracing our humble abode.
瑞娃，我们正在御前呢
Rava, we are in the presence of royalty.
嘿，雷，听我说
Hey, Ray, listen.
你清洁公♥寓♥的工作干得很棒
You really did a tremendous job cleaning that apartment.
我可不仅仅是打扫你的公♥寓♥
But I didn't just clean your apartment.
那是一个仪式，一场庆典
It was a ritual, a ceremony.
一次生命的喜筵
A celebration of life.
你不是应该呆在窗台上的吗？
(指人疯了，从窗台跳下去)
Shouldn't you be out on a ledge somewhere?
他很风趣
He's funny.
水开了，要喝茶吗？ - 我要
Water's boiling. Are we having tea? - Yes.
我要，杰瑞？
Yes. Jerry?
杰瑞 - 什么？
Jerry. - What?
雷，能帮帮忙吗？
Ray, would you give me a hand, please?
好，我这就来
Yeah, I'm coming.
我觉得那个塑像是从我家拿的
I think that's the statue from my house.
看起来很像我家那个
That looks like the statue from my house.
什么塑像？ - 我家有个塑像
What statue? - I had a statue.
你有塑像？我从来没见过
You do? I never saw a statue.
我爷爷给我的塑像
My grandfather gave me a statue.
什么时候的事？ - 有什么关系吗？这个就是
Since when? - What's the difference? That's the one.
他拿我东西，这个家伙拿我东西
He ripped me off. This guy ripped me off.
要糖吗？
Do you take sugar?
不 - 不要
No. - No.
真想不到，这小子居然拿我东西
I can't believe it. This guy ripped me off.
你知道你在说什么吗？ - 知道，这小子拿我东西
Do you realize what you're saying? - Yes, this guy ripped me off.
他从我家偷走了塑像
He stole that statue right out of my house.
柠檬呢？
Lemon?
行 - 好
Sure. - Yeah.
你确定吗？ - 非常确定
Are you sure? - Pretty sure.
99% 确定 - 99% 确定？
99-percent sure. - 99-percent sure?
醇香之茗它香甜的气息是抚慰灵魂之良剂
Sweet elixir, its fragrant nectar a soothing balm for the soul.
点心好了你帮我拿
Those are the pastries. Take care of that.
我去给伊莲拿稿件
I'm gonna get Elaine the manuscript.
点心
The pastries.
可能只是看起来像呢巧合
Maybe it just looks the same. It's a coincidence.
巧合？这个家伙去过我的公♥寓♥ 然后碰巧…
Coincidence? This guy's in my apartment, and by coincidence...
他也有一个同样的塑像在他家
...he has the exact same statue in his apartment?
我从来没见过什么塑像 - 我就是有一个塑像
I never saw any statue. - I had a statue.
我该怎么办？
What should I do?
我给克莱默打电♥话♥，让他检查我家里
I'll call Kramer. He can check my house.
哦，杰瑞
Oh, Jerry.
别坏了我的事 - 你放心
Don't blow this for me. - Don't worry.
克莱默
Kramer.
我是杰瑞，杰瑞
It's Jerry. Jerry.
你隔壁的先别管我在哪
From next door. Never mind where I am.
是的，杰瑞·宋飞
Yes, Jerry Seinfeld.
妈，我跟你说过…
Ma, I told you...
面包蘸一点黄油…
...just dip the bread in the batter...
然后放进锅里
...and put it in the pan.
就这样，再见，我妈
Okay, bye. My mother.
她忘了怎么做法式烤面包了
She forgot how to make French toast.
你知道妈妈就是这样
You know how mothers are.
我六岁的时候我妈就离开了我们
My mother left us when I was 6 years old.
我们七个孩子再也没有她的消息
All seven of us. We never heard from her again.
我希望她在哪个小巷子里腐烂掉
I hope she's rotting in an alley somewhere.
我妈住佛罗里达
My mom's down in Florida.
她买♥♥了一套房♥子
She's got one of those condos.
那里夏天很热你去过吗？
Hot down there in the summer. You ever been down there?
我喜欢这些点心
I love these pastries.
在斯堪的纳维亚的传说中这种点心是神灵的食物
In Scandinavian mythology, the pastries were the food of the gods.
瞧，我突然想起来了，我得…
Listen, I just remembered, I'm...
做个面部护理
...getting a facial.
那我们明天早上见
Oh, I'll see you tomorrow morning.
那你晚饭怎么办？ - 不，我不吃晚饭
How about dinner? - No, I don't eat dinner.
晚饭是给小孩吃的
Dinner's for suckers.
好的，行
Yeah, okay.
仍然感谢，再见
Thanks anyway. Bye.
没希望
Nope.
警♥察♥说空口无凭他们也没办法
Cop says it's my word against his. There's nothing they can do.
我们去把他抓来
Let's go get him.
真是好主意 - 我们不能就这么便宜他了
Yeah, right. - We can't let him get away with this.
你没觉得他这样做很疯狂吗？
You realize how crazy he had to be to do this?
他知道我会发现东西丢了他还敢拿走
He knew I was gonna know it's missing and that he took it.
有好多东西都可以拿啊
And of all things to take.
手表、录音机、音响都在家他真是疯了
I left my watch, tape recorder, stereo. He's crazy.
你想把他抓回来吗？
You wanna go get him?
如果他真有精神问题你就应该原谅他
If he's crazy, you should just forget it.
原谅他！？
Forget it?
我已经给我爸妈打电♥话♥了
I already called my parents.
我说要给他们一个大惊喜
I told them to expect the surprise of a lifetime.
我妈妈都在准备烤土豆了
My mother's making her roasted potatoes.
乔治，你知不知道…
George, do you realize...
瑞娃请我帮她编辑书稿
...that Rava has asked me to edit her book?
这个瑞娃又是谁？
Who is this Rava?
我说还是把他抓回来吧
I say we get him.
让我给他打电♥话♥吧 - 我来打
Let me just call him. - I'll call him.
你好，雷？
Hello, Ray?
嘿，雷我是瑞娃的朋友伊莲的朋友杰瑞
Hi, Ray. This is Rava's friend, Elaine's friend, Jerry.
是，喜剧之王，没错
Yeah, the king of comedy, right.
是这样，你家壁炉架上那个塑像…
Listen, you know that statue on your mantel...
就是那个有…？蓝色女士？你们能闭嘴吗？
...the one with...? The blue lady? Would you shut up?!
是，哦，你现在不想在电♥话♥里说这个事
Yeah. Oh, you don't want to talk about it over the phone.
不想瑞娃听到
You don't want Rava to hear.
好，我明白
Yeah, I understand.
你知道我家附近那个咖啡厅吗？蒙克之家
You know the coffee shop near my house, Monk's?
好，明天，一点钟
All right, tomorrow, 1:00.
就这么定了，再见
Great. Okay, bye.
现在听我说，听我说
All right, look. Look, look.
我们假设他偷了塑像 - 他就是偷了
Let's say he stole it. - Oh, he stole it.
那你又能怎样呢？
You can't do anything about it.
警♥察♥都不管这事
The cops won't do anything.
你能去和他打架吗？为什么就不能忘了这事呢
What, are you gonna go fight him? Why don't you just forget it.
没门
No. - No.
我记得你是说一点的
Thought you said 1:00.
放松点，他总是迟到的这是他的习惯
Relax. He's late. He's always late. It's part of his m.o.
记住，别说废话
Remember, don't take any crap.
知道了，放心吧
Yeah, yeah. Don't worry about it.
我就坐在这 - 真是莫大的安慰
I'll be right here. - That's comforting.
他来了
He's coming.