校园时代

Schooled S02E06

Part 3 Nov. 23, 2019, 9:36 p.m.

够了
That's enough!
我来告诉你们要怎么样
Let me tell you what's going down.
从现在起你们要在游♥行♥上
Starting now, you're gonna cheer on those sweet babies
为那些小孩打气
at that damn parade!
不我们赢得了
No! We've earned the right
吓死那些小不点的权力
to scare the crap out of those little turds.
我们不得不
For six horrible years,
忍♥受了糟糕的六年
we had to suffer through that parade.
或者你也可以打扮自己和他们一起玩
Or you dress up and have fun with them
因为我们都知道
because we all know that
这是你们真正想要的
that's what you really want deep down.
得了吧年轻愚蠢还相信鬼魂女巫的时候
Come on. Halloween's fun when you're young and dumb
万圣节才有意思
and still believe in ghosts and witches.
要是我说服你女巫是真实的呢
What if I convinced you witches are real?
不可能因为她们不是
Uh, you won't, because, duh, they're not.
说明你从没听过
Uh, dur, that means you've never heard of
《女巫布莱尔》纪录片
the "Blair Witch" Documentary.
什么
The what, now?
我一个朋友给我了一盘私自发行的碟
Uh, a friend of mine got me an early bootleg.
很可怕
It's terrifying.
电影制♥作♥人在林子里失踪
The filmmakers went missing in the woods,
他们的录像证明了女巫是真实存在的
and their footage proves that witches are real.
嗯偏题了回到期中考试
Yeah. This is off the rails. Back to midterms.
我们来做个交易怎么样
How's about we all make a deal?
如果你们看了这纪录片
If you watch this doc
你们仍然觉得自己太老太酷不会被吓到
and you still feel too old and cool to be scared,
那你们就可以尽情去吓唬小孩子
then you can terrify any little tyke you want.
但如果我是对的
But if I'm right
这部纪录片让你们相信女巫
and this doc makes you believe in witches
以及万圣节里所有妖魔鬼怪是真的
and all the spooky things that Halloween has to offer,
那你们就要张开双臂接受这些小孩
then you'll accept these kids with open arms.
接受挑战吧
Just say yes and take the test.
我们都知道CB说纪录片的时候就已经输了
We all know CB lost the moment he said the word "Documentary."
那就这么定了
You got yourself a deal.
棒
Yes!
强击手听说今天是金枪鱼砂锅周二
Hey, slugger. I hear it's tuna casserole Tuesday.
晚餐见
I'll see you at dinner.
我会带拼字游戏来
I'll bring the Boggle.
拼字游戏
Boggle?!
那是家人间玩的游戏
That's an intimate family game!
这太糟了
Oh, this is bad.
我们都同意了只要我和...在一起
We both agreed -- I'm not violating any school policy
我就没有违反任何学校政策
as long as I'm with...
朱莉姑妈
Aunt Julie.
朱莉姑妈
Aunt Julie.
好消息
Amazing news!
我不再是托比的姑妈了
I'm not Toby's aunt anymore!
那你是谁
Huh? W-Who are you?
他们终于审核完了文件
Paperwork finally got processed.
我现在正式是他的法定监护人了
I am officially his legal guardian.
可是我理清一下
But, uh...to clarify --
根据上帝和科学你还是他的姑妈
according to God and science, you're still his aunt?
大概吧但是按文件来说我算是他妈妈了
I guess, but on paper, I'm kinda his mom.
说出来好怪
Ooh. Feels weird to say that.
那就别说
Then don't.
我姐姐很年轻的时候就生下了托比
My sister had Toby so young,
天知道她都经历了什么困难
and God knows she's had her struggles,
但她认为在她重振旗鼓期间
but she thinks this is best
这样最好
while she's getting her life together.
但我们同意你还是朱莉姑妈
But we agree you're still Aunt Julie?
但是我现在更像是朱莉妈妈
Although, now, I'm more of a-a Mom Julie.
我不能叫你朱莉妈妈
Well, I certainly can't call you "Mom Julie."
你可以就叫我朱莉
You could call me just... Julie,
我们刚开始交往时我就这么跟你说了
like I've been asking since we started dating.
你知道怎样庆祝最好吗
Hey, you know what'd be a great way to celebrate?
你和托比组队装扮
You do a couples costume with Toby.
他扮蚂蚁你扮朱莉
He's an ant, and you're his Julie.
蚂蚁朱莉
Ant Julie.
我更想我们作为弗雷斯特和珍妮一起去
I'd rather you and I go as Forrest and Jenny.
或者我是弗雷斯特你是朱莉姑妈
Or I'm Forrest and you're Aunt Julie.
我是弗雷斯特弗雷斯特·甘
I'm Forrest. Forrest Gump.
生活就像是一盒巧克力
Life is like a box of chocolates.
我要走了
I'm gonna go.
好的朱莉姑妈
Sure thing, Aunt Julie.
朱莉就行
Just Julie.
CB和威尔玛下定决心要向他们的学生证明
CB and Wilma were determined to prove to their students
你永远不会因为太老而不害怕
that you're never too old to be scared
万圣节的魔力
by the magic of Halloween.
我害怕闭上眼
I'm scared to close my eyes.
我害怕睁开
I'm scared to open them.
天他们怕死了
Oh, man. They are terrified.
就连莱妮都觉得是真的
?Even Lainey thinks it's real.
最精彩的部分
And the best part --
我在电影结束后安排了自己的压轴戏
I arranged my own grand finale after the movie ends
吓死他们锁定胜局
to really scare them crapless and seal the deal.
我们是好老师
We are good teachers.
最棒的
The best.
我想我可以代表所有人说
I think I speak for everyone in the room when I say
"那算是什么纪录片"
"What the kind of documentary was that, man?!"
我需要我妈的满怀拥抱
I need a big, safe hug from my mom.
从这反应来看
Judging by that reaction,
显然我们今年可以举办一次温暖友好的游♥行♥了
clearly, we get to have a warm and friendly parade this year!
游♥行♥去死吧
Screw the parade!
你为什么要给我们看这个我们还是孩子
Why'd you show us that?! We're just kids!
那男的为什么要盯着墙
Why was that dude just staring at the wall?!
各位冷静
Everyone, calm down!
再说一次什么鬼
Again, what the ?!
我想回家但我不想出去
I want to go home, but I don't want to go outside.
我该怎么办
What do I do?!
人多更安全
Safety in numbers.
找个搭档跟着我
Grab a buddy, follow me.
不你们干什么等下
No, no, what are you d-- Wait --
但是我们还要面对CB的压轴戏
But we still had CB's grand finale.
天啊女巫棍
Oh, my God. Witch sticks!
跟紧点快走
Stay close! Let's go! Go!
我冷静地把他们带到了安全地带
I calmly led them to safety.
CB
Cb?
孩子们吓坏了
The kids were scared.,.
女巫把我们锁住了
The witch locked us in!
但我保持了镇静
...but I kept a level head.
那是什么
What was that?
好了希望你们都穿了弹性内♥裤♥
Alright, I hope you all wore your stretchy underpants,
因为这是躲避球时间
because it's dodgeball time!
来吧体育课代理
Let's do this, gym proxy!
准备吃我的屁吧废物们
Get ready to eat my farts, losers.
淡定点托比
Whoa. Dial it back there, Toby.
太迟了他死定了
Too late. He's a dead man.
我好怕怕哦
I'm so scared.
没错我有体育课代理
Wait, that's right, I got a gym proxy,
所以忍♥着吧
so suck it!
托比过来下
Toby, let me talk to you for a second.
怎么了教练
What's up, Coach?
我不能再做你的体育课代理了
I can't be your gym proxy anymore.
什么
W-What's that, now?
我听说了个好消息你朱莉姑妈
I heard the great news that Aunt Julie
现在更像是朱莉妈妈了
is now more of a Mom Julie.
不幸的是学校规定不能和学生妈妈交往
Unfortunately, the school has a strict no-mom-dating policy,
也就是说你得代理自己了
which means you got to proxy yourself.
真希望你能在10分钟前告诉我
Kinda wish I knew this 10 minutes ago!
在你让大家吃你的屁之前吗
Before you told everybody to eat your farts?